Disclaimer: Dark Angel characters are not mine. Dagnabit why do you have to keep rubbing it in my face that I will never have a chance with that sweet dream boat that goes by the name Alec. Don't have a chance at Jensen either. ::sigh::
Author's note: Your reviews make me tingle all over. Yay! Who says us college girls can't have any fun without alcohol…wait, that was my room mate. Hmm. Anyways, I was informed that you can't make the tip from Seattle to Minnesota in a day and I know and I made the mistake with the intention of fixing it later but it slipped my mind. Oops.
Review junkie begging for her fix!
Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You?
Chapter 6: Lashing out
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So I learn from my mistakes It's beyond my control sometimes it's best to let go, whatever happens in this lifetime So I trust in love ( So I trust in love ) And it's giving me peace of mind I, I feel so alive For the very first time I can't deny you I feel so alive I, I feel so alive For the very first time And I think I can fly Sunshine upon my face A new song for me to sing Tell the world how I feel inside Even though it might cost me everything Now that I know this will be all my control 'cause I could never turn my back away Now that I see you I can never look away. ~ P.O.D, "I feel so alive"
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Alec's eyes snapped open the instant of waking his gaze traveling up his arm to the tow intertwined hands up Max's arm and into her wide open eyes. She looked surprised and tense like she hadn't expected him to be awake. The first glimpse of his storm blue eyes was a shock on her systems even more so because of the unfogged awareness in them. They slid their hands out of the handhold the air in the room suddenly becoming tense.
Max sat up quickly making her way into the bathroom mumbling about needing a shower. Alec groaned when the door closed, thinking silently to himself that waking up next to Max was enough to make any man need a cold shower. With another groan he flipped onto his stomach and concluded that he was no exception. Getting up slowly, letting the muscles in his back stretch as he contemplated the world from a sitting position. He sat there listening to the drone of the shower, and found himself wondering if the shower she was taking was just as cold as his was going to have to be.
Mumbling words that not even he could decipher he forced himself to stand up and pad over to the forlorn looking backpack lying on the tan shaggy carpet. Grabbing a black sweater and the black jeans he had been wearing the night before he sat back down on the bed and waited for his turn, letting his mind wander without check.
By the time Max had exited the bathroom freshly dressed and her hair in wet ringlets he decided that he was in desperate need of that cold shower. She didn't look at him as he brushed past her and when he came out feeling like he could finally look at her without blushing she still wasn't looking at him.
"We should get something to eat before we go," he said softly not sure if his voice was welcome.
"Yeah." She bit off grabbing her jacket and heading out the door without a look back.
"'Yeah.'" He mocked silently letting his face screw up as he shrugged into his leather coat and followed her to the diner that sat next to the motel. She didn't look at him when they ordered and hadn't said a word to him when the food had come out. He was starting to get antsy and was fidgeting in his seat.
"Would you stop that?" She glared at him.
"And the ice queen speaks. Yes, I can stop it but I don't particularly want to."
"Of course not."
"What is your problem?" He asked raising one eyebrow at her.
"Nothing." Her clenched her jaw as he met her glare.
"Ya sure?"
"I'm sure." She rolled her eyes down into her pancakes and finished eating in silence.
When they finally set out for the facility Alec had sighed and followed Max as she walked through the trees at a leisurely pace, they weren't doing anything more than watch until tomorrow so now they had the whole night. Snow lay on the ground in a thick sheet; the crunching of their boots was the only sound as they moved. Alec's eyes darted through the trees keeping watch for anything that was out of place, for a long time they rested on a large lake that had frozen over, they had been walking along it for a while. Hills, high enough to make the way treacherous in the snow, made the trees into waves.
Their breath came out in thick blankets of steam as it connected with the cold mountain air. Alec sighed and stuffed his hands deeper into his pockets, he could withstand a lot of cold but that didn't mean he liked it. When she heard his sigh Max once again shot him a glare. After an hour and a half of walking it was starting to get on his nerves. He was about to open his mouth to say something when she grabbed his arm.
There, looming in the night, was the first building that they had seen in an hour. It sat, like a warning, breaking up the silent forest with its black and gray walls and lights. Both X5s crouched down and moved across the ground flowing with the night like shadows. When they were close enough to see the whole front of the building they stopped using trees for cover. "Three guards at the front entrance, high-powered rifles one with a tazer," Alec said in a hushed whisper.
"Two on the roof, same weapons." Max answered back. "That makes at least five, make that six." She hissed as another man came into view on the roof carrying what looked like coffee.
"Coffee break," Alec quipped with a silent smirk. Max just looked at him before turning away.
"We need to get around to the back to see if there's a better way in."
"Let's move." Alec was up and moving before he had finished talking, letting Max fall in behind him for once. Moving into the shadows once again they made their way to the back eyes searching for any chinks in the defense. "To by the door, none on the roof." They shared a look each nodding their heads in agreement. "We take them out and move in before the men on the rood can tell the men in the front what's going on."
"Avoid as much contact as possible," Max agreed quietly, they sat there for two hours watching how often the men talked in their radios and how often the men on the roof came around to check out the back entrance. By the time they decided they had seen enough they were both stiff and cold, limbs protesting at their abuse.
"Let's get out of here," Max said her voice tense and weary at the same time.
"Yeah, right behind ya." They half crouched half ran for a few minutes making sure that they weren't seen. Alec opened his mouth to say something to Max but shut it when he saw the tight set of her jaw. Breathing deeply, he shook his head and fell into step beside her, holding back a scowl.
After another hour of silence he decided he had had enough, stopping in his tracks, at the top of one of many large hills, he glared at her back until she stopped and turned around. "What are you doing?" she snapped.
"I want to know what your problem is, you've barely said a word to me all day and I'm not really understanding why. Explain it to me." He was struggling with himself to keep his voice down and quiet.
"No reason."
"There's a reason and I'm not moving another step until you tell." Every word brought his voice up a notch.
So matching him glare for glare she matched his voice as well, "I woke up in the wrong bed!"
"What?" His mouth hung open as his brain did it's bet to wrap around her words.
"Exactly what I said, I'm not supposed to wake up next to you and I have for two days in a row now." Her fists were clenched tight as she watched him.
"That's not what you're mad about. You're mad because in your sleep you reached for me, and you think you should only reach for Logan, but you can't!" Alec mirrored her stance; fists clenched and body tensing.
"I can't because of you!"
"Throw that in my face again, can't come up with anything new now, Maxie?" He was advancing on her his face a stony mask, his eyes having gone hard. Before he turned his back on her, his breathing hard.
"I should have let your head explode."
"Get over it!" Alec yelled, turning on her, his voice echoing like a ghosts call through the trees.
"Get over it? You keep shoving this crap in my face, and then you expect me to get over it?" Her face was slowly turning red as his jaw got tighter. They both looked like they were going to either break or explode.
"Fine! Let's do this the right way; hit me. Words are just words, Max, you think I should have died. Punch me it'll hurt more!" He was advancing on her again and she was standing her ground fist clenching and unclenching. "Hit me!"
So she did.
She lashed out, her arm moving through the air like streamlined silk before it stopped with a bone jarring impact at Alec's nose. He didn't miss a beat absorbing the blow and letting it whip his body around so that he could fall into a crouch his leg coming out to sweep hers out from under her. She jumped it and came down into his waiting fist. It knocked the air out of her and threw her back two steps, not losing a second he was on her with a front kick sending her straight into a tree. When her head hit the tree with a resounding thwack she realized neither of them were going to pull their punches.
His next punch was coming at her, she dodged and it connected with the tree; bringing her arm up and around she unlocked his elbow and used her other arm to help his face follow his fist. Turning on his heel he brought his elbow up snapping her head back.
She went for a straight kick, making snow fly everywhere, he caught it in two strong hands and wrenched it towards him but the snow made her boot slick so that she could turn the fall into an awkward flip with her foot connecting with his chin.
They broke apart breathing heavily watching each other with wary eyes. Max was moving with the precision of a panther while Alec was calling; "don't you think I know?" She grabbed his shirt, twisted her body so her back lay flat against his stomach and pulled, flipping him over her shoulder. Had he been anything but an X5 he would have fallen flat on his back, but he was, so his feet smacked down first and using his momentum turned her own move against her, flipping her over onto her back. He fell on top of her and wrestled for who would be on top, rolling in the snow causing it to lodge in her hair, a perfect contrast of black and white.
"Don't you think I know," he was saying snow splotching his face, melting on his cheeks, "I'm a screw up?" His voice broke as they rolled again, snow working it's cold fingers into her shirt; cooling her back as it cooled her anger enough that she heard his words. "I ruin everything I touch! Yes, you should have let my head explode."
She stopped and it seemed like forever before he realized he didn't need to fight anymore. His body pushed hers into the ground as he held her wrists above her head. "I know I'm a disappointment!" He was breathing heavily and his voice shook. It occurred to her to wonder if it was snow that splotched his cheeks with water. "I know I'm worthless." He whispered as he saw her face soften as she looked up at him with wide shining brown eyes.
"Alec," She started in a broken voice as he made to get off her and then gravity shifted.
They were sliding, twisting; tumbling down the hill that suddenly felt like a mountain. Snow was flying as they narrowly missed trees that became like black giants. Max heard a dull thud and lost her hold on Alec's hand. Then the ground ended and she was sliding to a stop.
Max groaned as she flipped onto her stomach and found herself staring down at ice under her hands. Hours of sitting in the cold were finally catching up to her as she raised to her knees and looked for Alec. He lay, unmoving, what seemed like a mile away, on his back blood dripping on to the ice under his head, a perfect contrast of white and red. When she first caught sight of him she thought he was unconscious until she saw his blue eyes, gone wide, watching her. Her own shifted down and that's when she saw them.
The cracks snaking out from his body, something sounding too much like breaking glass drifted to her ears. Two pairs of eyes locked together in a moment of understanding. "Can you move?" Max whispered, afraid that her voice might excellerate the rapid spreading of the cracks. "I can't come and help you." She felt defeated when she saw him swallow roughly.
"Yeah," he sounded more confident than he looked. "Just can't move very fast cause—" He let the words trail off, they both knew why. He started turning over slowly with halting movements, his mouth moving and no sound coming out. When Max strained to hear him she realized that wasn't true, he was chanting in a breathy whisper. Talking himself through the steps. He placed his hands down, spider webs shooting out from underneath them; he raised to his knees not looking at the lake anymore but at Max. His jaw clenched tight as he raised his torso slowly, inch by treacherous inch; letting his weight settle on his knees. Sliding one foot out he was kneeing, as though he was about to ask for Max's hand in marriage, when with a crack, which seemed to split the air; the ice swallowed him whole. His hands thrown in the air, his wide eyes meeting with Max's for a split second and then he was gone.
Max was moving, walking with jerking steps, across the ice, wishing she could run but knowing all it would accomplish was two drowned X5s. Keeping her eyes on the hole in the lake she waited for Alec to resurface. Hoping he would.
When he broke through the surface his face had become stone, she could tell that he had gone into soldier mode. His breathing not even rushed; he cut the water with sure strong strokes. The second problem arose when he made to pull himself out of the water; the ice gave way under his hands plunging him once again into the cold blue depths. It took longer this time for him to come up, and once again he tried to pull himself out, the ice held long enough for him to get his torso up onto it before it gave way again.
Max was crawling to him now, not trusting the ice to hold all her weight, slithering like a snake she came out as far as she dared hoping that once again he would come back up. It seemed like hours before the wet head of hair came up again. Soldier mode was still in place as he again hoisted himself onto the ice with the assistance of Max's hands, but she could see that his skin was starting to be tinged a soft baby blue.
Scuttling back across the ice Alec half crawled and was half dragged back to solid ground. When they got to safety he was shaking too hard to stand, he collapsed to his knees the cold and his head injury catching up to him. Max caught him and turned him over to cradle him in her arms. Looking down into his wide blue eyes, as he dragged in air through his purple lips, she had the sudden over whelming thought that this has happened before.
Staring down into the face of Alec the woods was no longer covered in snow, the face looking up at her was not shaking or cold, the face looking up at her wasn't Alec. She was choking back tears as she ran her hands over his cheek. "I'm so sorry." She didn't know who she was talking to anymore; Alec or Ben or both. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." She hugged him closer feeling the traitorous swell of tears in her eyes. "Please don't die. I'm sorry, I don't want you to die."
"Max…" Alec managed through chattering teeth, one hand coming up to touch her cheek, leaving the feel of ice touching her cheek, bringing her back to the present.
"We go to get you warm." Max squared her jaw as she lifted him by the shoulders. "Come on, you can do this. You have to help me." She repeated softly over and over as she guided his faltering steps. Quickly calculating she figured forty-five minutes back to the hotel, and found herself praying for a miracle.