Full Summary: What would happen if the world of Fan Fiction suddenly was
merged into the Lord of the Rings reality? Eru, and Middle Earth's
unsuspecting inhabitants find out the hard way! Characters start acting
strangely, and hordes of teenage girls suddenly 'fall' into Middle Earth!
And they don't waste any time searching for that perfect man, or elf!
Competition is fierce when the Fan-girls/mary-sue copies decide they aren't
going to share. And why is Legolas acting so strange?
*Puns on Mary-Sue fan fics/'young girl falls into ME theory' and Leggy
torture fics. *
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, I'm not making money, yadda yadda yadda. Get it? I'm sorry if I mutilate any of Tolkien's characters, and I completely recognize him as King. I swear none of them will have no lasting damage.. heh heh heh. Although people, this Idea is MINE! No touchies! If you want to expand, or possibly help me with this fic, I expect it in writing, in an EMAIL! All comments and anything else goes in the reviews! Thanks!
"Dear me, what have I done?" Eru shook his head, burying it in his hands. He sat, staring down onto the torn, tainted land that Middle Earth had become. "How could I have done it?"
What did Eru do? Could the Maker have truly done something terrible? Let us find out.
We shall now take a look at the world of Middle Earth. Not as most know it, no, it has changed much. Look! Do you see it? Right over there. yes, it is the realm of Mirkwood. The greenwood is much plagued by grief. It seems some strange affliction has come over their beloved prince.
Thranduil paces up and down, day after day, and all through the night. What could have happened to his son? He had walked out under the trees one day, into the deep forest, and was found some time later, collapsed on the ground, shaking and half dead. He often spoke very little, and had no appetite. He would shy away at the presence of even a most trusted friend. Everyone thought that the prince had been possessed, but the healers could not find any trace of it. What could have gone so terribly wrong?
"My lord," an attendant bowed behind Thranduil. He turned, rubbing the bridge of his nose, warding away the coming headache.
"What is it? Any news?"
"Actually my lord, your son is. speaking." The messenger shifted uncomfortably.
"And?" the elven lord nearly jumped. "What did he say?"
"Well.. He's mumbling about capture of some kind, and ah.. torture."
"Torture! How could this be? How could this be?" Thranduil shook his head, tears welling at the corners of his eyes. "A terror has descended upon Middle Earth, I can feel it." The messenger stood in silence, his head bowed.
"I think I shall go see him." He said suddenly, walking down the hall. The attendant bowed and followed.
What Thranduil found could not have been his son..
*******************************
"No. how could this happen? It was just an experiment, all gone wrong! I never meant for it to go this far." Eru cried out. Thunder crashed over the world, and all felt Eru's pain. Yes, all were affected by this.
Let us now turn out attention to the land of Rivendell, where some very strange things indeed have come up..
Can you see there? The Lady Arwen is acting quite strange, behavior quite alien to all those who have learned the story of Middle Earth through the media of literature. It seems Arwen has taken up the sword, and has stolen Lord Glorfindel's prize mount, Asfalof!
"Arwen! Do not take things that are not yours!" Cried a most distraught half-elven Lord.
"No father! I am not going to listen to you anymore! I have made up my mind! I am going to marry Legolas, and live in Middle Earth forever! And I shall save Frodo on my own, and then destroy the Ring! I'll take on all of Sauron's forces by myself!"
But wait! Now look! At the gates of Rivendell, thousands upon thousands of teenage girls are pouring through! The guards of Imladris are over whelmed! Where are they going? It seems they are searching for something.
"Every girl for herself!" cries a tall blonde, garbed in sparkling, fantastical finery. Each girl is decked out in the finest garb she could find, though some wore armor, or travel worn leather, suggesting that they have spent some time in the wilds. Doing what? Hunting orcs and other nasty things with strength, stealth, and skill superior to any being alive? Or chasing and tracking down their favorite characters over long and arduous distances? I'll give you one suggestion: Don't even get close enough to ask.
The females entered the Last Homely House, packs of them running through the halls, sweeping for any trace of their quarry. One particularly barbarous horde ran through the study of lord Elrond, leaving the elven lord to hide under his desk, quivering in panic at the terrors that had crashed through.
"I'VE FOUND ELLADAN!!!" screeched one of them, attacking him in his sleep and grabbing the half-elf as he tried to escape. She successfully tied him to his bedpost, covering and hiding him with the covers so no other could claim her prize.
One very scared Lord Glorfindel ran through the halls of Rivendell, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible, though it was hard as he was one of the only fair haired elves in the city. A hunting party of ravenous females crossed his way, and he quickly dove behind a stone pillar. "Oh no.. they have Elladan! I have to help him, somehow! But there are just.. so many! How did this happen? It started when Arwen went insane and stole Asfalof. certainly there is some rational explanation?" He rested against the pillar, wiping sweat from his eyes. He stopped suddenly as it hit him. "I'm the only blonde here. what will happen if one of them mistakes me for Legolas?" he shuddered inwardly at the thought. "No, I cannot think about capture. I will have to help Elladan later, though it would be great to have his help. Now, I have to find Elrond and Elrohir.." The golden-haired elven lord slipped around the pillar and into the garden, where he took a well hidden path to Elrond's study.
Meanwhile, one half-elf twin lay shivering in fear, unable to move or speak. Sweet Eru, what's going on?! He thought to himself, struggling against the gag in his mouth. His captor was standing in the doorway, on the look out for any of her companions.
"It would be very bad if they came you know," she looked back over her shoulder. An evil gleam in her eye let him know he would never be able to negotiate with a deamon like this. "then I would have to fight for you. I would fight for you.. MY LOVE!" her face was shockingly distorted, deep cerulean eyes were marred by the evil blackness seeping into them, her teeth were like fangs, and her expression was very, very disturbing to the already fearful elf. Her expression softened and she giggled a poisonously sweet giggle that made Elladan cringe. "But the problem is, staying here to guard you, my chances of getting my hands on your brother are slim. Do you see my problem?" she asked almost casually. Was she insane?
Elladan nodded, his wide eyes locked on her, dreading any sudden move. Get away Elrohir, get as far away as you can His thoughts screamed out,. I can only hope they don't take an interest in Ada, but it's probably already to late for Glorfindel. How I wish Arwen hadn't gone insane! She would be our only hope. wait! There is another..
Eru shook his head, saddened greatly by the events taking place on Arda below. How could he have unleashed such a terror on the world? He thought it would be such a good idea, letting the events of the world be influenced by the writings of Fan Fiction authors. Letting just for a moment, the world of Fan Fiction and Reality merge. What he didn't realize, was the extraordinary amount of fledgling writers, still hooked on their Mary-Sue and their Legolas torment. He had opened the flood gates, and it looked like closing them would be nigh impossible now.
Such morbid, barbarous minds humans have! He thought inwardly. The Fan Fiction writer. They were truly a force not to be trifled with. Something would have to be done, before more terrible things started happening. Something will have to be done. But what? What could be stronger than the thoughts and fantasies of thousands of such frivolous and heretical writers?!
For once, Eru, the One, Iluvatar, was out of ideas.
A/N: Thanks for reading my first chapter! I wanted to say, that this is in NO way meant to be insulting to beginning writers, and yes, even those 'frivolous' Mary-Sueies. (Note: that is my own word! ^_^ )
This is my own, HUMOR fan fiction. It is meant to be just that: Humorous (I hope). I hope those who write those kind of fan fiction can laugh a little and take a joke while reading my parody.
You have no idea how hard it is to write a humor fan fiction while listening to a sad song. I'm listening to "Into the West" performed by Annie Lennox on the Return of the King soundtrack. It is very sad, but very good. I suggest you listen to it sometime! (No, I am not endorsing LOTR! ^_^)
Ok, back to the subject! I thank all my reviewers in advance, my friend Genevieve, (or Chibi Mi-Chan is her pen-name. She's awesome, check her out!) for whooping me back into shape and inspiring me to get of my lazy arse and start writing. Thanks Mi-chan!
Thanks all, and look forward to Chapter 2!
-Chibi Mo
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, I'm not making money, yadda yadda yadda. Get it? I'm sorry if I mutilate any of Tolkien's characters, and I completely recognize him as King. I swear none of them will have no lasting damage.. heh heh heh. Although people, this Idea is MINE! No touchies! If you want to expand, or possibly help me with this fic, I expect it in writing, in an EMAIL! All comments and anything else goes in the reviews! Thanks!
"Dear me, what have I done?" Eru shook his head, burying it in his hands. He sat, staring down onto the torn, tainted land that Middle Earth had become. "How could I have done it?"
What did Eru do? Could the Maker have truly done something terrible? Let us find out.
We shall now take a look at the world of Middle Earth. Not as most know it, no, it has changed much. Look! Do you see it? Right over there. yes, it is the realm of Mirkwood. The greenwood is much plagued by grief. It seems some strange affliction has come over their beloved prince.
Thranduil paces up and down, day after day, and all through the night. What could have happened to his son? He had walked out under the trees one day, into the deep forest, and was found some time later, collapsed on the ground, shaking and half dead. He often spoke very little, and had no appetite. He would shy away at the presence of even a most trusted friend. Everyone thought that the prince had been possessed, but the healers could not find any trace of it. What could have gone so terribly wrong?
"My lord," an attendant bowed behind Thranduil. He turned, rubbing the bridge of his nose, warding away the coming headache.
"What is it? Any news?"
"Actually my lord, your son is. speaking." The messenger shifted uncomfortably.
"And?" the elven lord nearly jumped. "What did he say?"
"Well.. He's mumbling about capture of some kind, and ah.. torture."
"Torture! How could this be? How could this be?" Thranduil shook his head, tears welling at the corners of his eyes. "A terror has descended upon Middle Earth, I can feel it." The messenger stood in silence, his head bowed.
"I think I shall go see him." He said suddenly, walking down the hall. The attendant bowed and followed.
What Thranduil found could not have been his son..
*******************************
"No. how could this happen? It was just an experiment, all gone wrong! I never meant for it to go this far." Eru cried out. Thunder crashed over the world, and all felt Eru's pain. Yes, all were affected by this.
Let us now turn out attention to the land of Rivendell, where some very strange things indeed have come up..
Can you see there? The Lady Arwen is acting quite strange, behavior quite alien to all those who have learned the story of Middle Earth through the media of literature. It seems Arwen has taken up the sword, and has stolen Lord Glorfindel's prize mount, Asfalof!
"Arwen! Do not take things that are not yours!" Cried a most distraught half-elven Lord.
"No father! I am not going to listen to you anymore! I have made up my mind! I am going to marry Legolas, and live in Middle Earth forever! And I shall save Frodo on my own, and then destroy the Ring! I'll take on all of Sauron's forces by myself!"
But wait! Now look! At the gates of Rivendell, thousands upon thousands of teenage girls are pouring through! The guards of Imladris are over whelmed! Where are they going? It seems they are searching for something.
"Every girl for herself!" cries a tall blonde, garbed in sparkling, fantastical finery. Each girl is decked out in the finest garb she could find, though some wore armor, or travel worn leather, suggesting that they have spent some time in the wilds. Doing what? Hunting orcs and other nasty things with strength, stealth, and skill superior to any being alive? Or chasing and tracking down their favorite characters over long and arduous distances? I'll give you one suggestion: Don't even get close enough to ask.
The females entered the Last Homely House, packs of them running through the halls, sweeping for any trace of their quarry. One particularly barbarous horde ran through the study of lord Elrond, leaving the elven lord to hide under his desk, quivering in panic at the terrors that had crashed through.
"I'VE FOUND ELLADAN!!!" screeched one of them, attacking him in his sleep and grabbing the half-elf as he tried to escape. She successfully tied him to his bedpost, covering and hiding him with the covers so no other could claim her prize.
One very scared Lord Glorfindel ran through the halls of Rivendell, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible, though it was hard as he was one of the only fair haired elves in the city. A hunting party of ravenous females crossed his way, and he quickly dove behind a stone pillar. "Oh no.. they have Elladan! I have to help him, somehow! But there are just.. so many! How did this happen? It started when Arwen went insane and stole Asfalof. certainly there is some rational explanation?" He rested against the pillar, wiping sweat from his eyes. He stopped suddenly as it hit him. "I'm the only blonde here. what will happen if one of them mistakes me for Legolas?" he shuddered inwardly at the thought. "No, I cannot think about capture. I will have to help Elladan later, though it would be great to have his help. Now, I have to find Elrond and Elrohir.." The golden-haired elven lord slipped around the pillar and into the garden, where he took a well hidden path to Elrond's study.
Meanwhile, one half-elf twin lay shivering in fear, unable to move or speak. Sweet Eru, what's going on?! He thought to himself, struggling against the gag in his mouth. His captor was standing in the doorway, on the look out for any of her companions.
"It would be very bad if they came you know," she looked back over her shoulder. An evil gleam in her eye let him know he would never be able to negotiate with a deamon like this. "then I would have to fight for you. I would fight for you.. MY LOVE!" her face was shockingly distorted, deep cerulean eyes were marred by the evil blackness seeping into them, her teeth were like fangs, and her expression was very, very disturbing to the already fearful elf. Her expression softened and she giggled a poisonously sweet giggle that made Elladan cringe. "But the problem is, staying here to guard you, my chances of getting my hands on your brother are slim. Do you see my problem?" she asked almost casually. Was she insane?
Elladan nodded, his wide eyes locked on her, dreading any sudden move. Get away Elrohir, get as far away as you can His thoughts screamed out,. I can only hope they don't take an interest in Ada, but it's probably already to late for Glorfindel. How I wish Arwen hadn't gone insane! She would be our only hope. wait! There is another..
Eru shook his head, saddened greatly by the events taking place on Arda below. How could he have unleashed such a terror on the world? He thought it would be such a good idea, letting the events of the world be influenced by the writings of Fan Fiction authors. Letting just for a moment, the world of Fan Fiction and Reality merge. What he didn't realize, was the extraordinary amount of fledgling writers, still hooked on their Mary-Sue and their Legolas torment. He had opened the flood gates, and it looked like closing them would be nigh impossible now.
Such morbid, barbarous minds humans have! He thought inwardly. The Fan Fiction writer. They were truly a force not to be trifled with. Something would have to be done, before more terrible things started happening. Something will have to be done. But what? What could be stronger than the thoughts and fantasies of thousands of such frivolous and heretical writers?!
For once, Eru, the One, Iluvatar, was out of ideas.
A/N: Thanks for reading my first chapter! I wanted to say, that this is in NO way meant to be insulting to beginning writers, and yes, even those 'frivolous' Mary-Sueies. (Note: that is my own word! ^_^ )
This is my own, HUMOR fan fiction. It is meant to be just that: Humorous (I hope). I hope those who write those kind of fan fiction can laugh a little and take a joke while reading my parody.
You have no idea how hard it is to write a humor fan fiction while listening to a sad song. I'm listening to "Into the West" performed by Annie Lennox on the Return of the King soundtrack. It is very sad, but very good. I suggest you listen to it sometime! (No, I am not endorsing LOTR! ^_^)
Ok, back to the subject! I thank all my reviewers in advance, my friend Genevieve, (or Chibi Mi-Chan is her pen-name. She's awesome, check her out!) for whooping me back into shape and inspiring me to get of my lazy arse and start writing. Thanks Mi-chan!
Thanks all, and look forward to Chapter 2!
-Chibi Mo