Disclaimer: Still not mine… Still not paid… Wait. Could I get paid for
this? Joking!!!
Me, Lady Foxfire, Sailor Sol, Meryll, Sparks, TsukiTatsu (and Endriago Luna?), Anie, Jubei Potter, Lynx, Kate the Great, Kay, Kayla Summers, Harriet, lothey, Hyper Princess, Phoenix, The Serious One, prongsjr, and sherlock 2k: As always I am incredibly grateful for your kind words and feedback. Enjoy!
Kaydee, and all of you who liked the Poodle Prank: Yippee! I'm so glad you liked the humor, too! 8-) Thank you so much for your kind reviews and feedback. More pranks are on the way, but sorry the chapter isn't here yet… It's coming soon!
velondra539: Personally, I think because of the amount of witnesses who thought they knew what they saw, I think the veritaserum was overlooked. Also, I feel like poor Sirius was lucky he didn't get the kiss outright, because it sure seemed like the circumstances surrounding his capture were more like a lynch mob than an arrest. Thanks as always for your kind words!
Rannchan, Japangirlcarley24, Michelle: Thank you so much for the kind compliments on my writing. I originally posted to get something (anything) out there for others to read, rather than allowing all stories and ideas to gather dust. Feedback like this and so many others has been great for my confidence and has given validation to a private dream. Thank you all very much!
Tanya: I agree with your statement about Hermione needing to see as soon as possible just what Harry was going through. She'll come up with some things to help in the future as well… g
Venus4280: I think Ginny will be returning next chapter… Remember, she was with Charlie.
Nicky: As always, your input and opinions are invaluable. Thank you!!!
Chapter 10
Sirius stirred and blearily opened his eyes. 'What time is it?' he wondered, looking around the dim living room, now only illuminated by the glowing embers of the fire. It was still night, definitely. What had woken him up? Sirius glanced at Harry, who he had finally coaxed into a restless sleep. Tomorrow night he would be able to take the Dreamless Sleep potion again. For only three nights, though. Due to Harry's poor physical condition and lack of reserves, Madam Pomfrey had regretfully reduced the amount of time he could take it while extending the length of time he had to do without.
Sirius jumped, startled, as Harry began to grimace and twitch in his sleep. Harry's hands balled into tight fists and he began to curl into a ball, pulling his legs up to his chest. Feeling dread prickle through his scalp, Sirius watched as the muscles on the sides of Harry's face jumped out, his teeth grinding audibly.
"Harry?" Sirius said to the boy who rested on the couch, his head against a pillow on Sirius' lap. Sirius had brought him here to the Weasley living room after realizing he'd been putting silencing charms around his bed the last two nights. Harry's embarrassment and shame at waking everyone up made him try to retreat ever further into that shell of his that seemed to have sprung up, fully formed, over the summer.
Sirius ran his fingers through Harry's hair. It was soaked with sweat. Sirius shook his shoulder firmly. "Harry," Sirius said, louder now. Harry began gasping for breath. "Harry!" Sirius said, nearly shouting, his pitch rising in near panic as Harry's legs kicked out abruptly, rigidly straight. He arched his back in pain, a scream escaping his lips that sent chills up Sirius' spine.
"Lumos," A voice said from the stairs. Footsteps pounded quickly towards them as Sirius blinked against the abrupt light that now flooded the room.
"No!" Harry screamed, his body now in the throes of a convulsion. He bucked so hard that he nearly fell off the couch completely.
"Harry, wake up!" Sirius yelled, trying to hold his godson to him to keep him from hitting anything and hurting himself further. Sirius glanced up to see Hermione standing in front of him, her eyes wide and frightened. She was staring at Harry, her lower lip quivering. Sirius felt the convulsions begin to weaken, but was terrified that it wasn't because Harry was waking up. In fact, he seemed to slacken in Sirius' arms, his face nearly ashen. Merlin, he was losing him! Sirius barely noticed that Hermione had left the room. He scowled for a moment. He'd thought she was a better friend than that. "Please, Harry, open your eyes!" Sirius begged, then froze in shock as a wave of freezing water splashed across the couch, drenching him and Harry completely. Harry's eyes flew weakly open, and Sirius stared at the frazzled girl standing in front of him, her wand in her hands and an empty bucket at her feet.
"Sorry," she said with a shrug at the stunned expression on Sirius' face, then crouched next to Harry. "Harry, can you hear me?" she asked gently. Harry tried to focus his eyes on her, frowning. Hermione noticed his glasses on the coffee table. She dried them on her robes before slipping them on his face. He smiled weakly at her.
"Thanks," he whispered, then stilled, his body relaxing. Sirius waited for his heart to quit trying to leap out of his chest as he watched Harry. He wasn't sleeping now. He was unconscious. Hermione stood up and headed towards the stairs again. Already feeling bad for his previously uncharitable thoughts towards the girl... 'You know better than that, Sirius,' he said to himself... he watched her silently. A few moments later, she returned with towels, blankets, and some fresh pajamas for Harry. 'Clever,' Sirius thought, grateful she'd thought ahead as he felt Harry begin to shiver. Standing up and gently lifting Harry off the wet couch, he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"I'll take him," Moony said gently. "You're wet as well," he observed, and Sirius wondered where on earth he'd come from. He hadn't seen him come down the stairs. Seeing his unspoken question, Moony nodded towards the front door. "I couldn't sleep," he said, his eyes shadowed as he looked at Harry in his arms. "Go get changed. We'll take care of this," he instructed, meeting eyes with Hermione who nodded as she muttered quietly, drying the couch. She set out Harry's pajamas and looked at Sirius.
"He'll be dry in no time," Hermione said reassuringly. Sirius nodded, and left the room to change.
********************************
Remus watched Hermione towel Harry's hair dry tenderly. She'd turned away bashfully as he'd changed Harry's clothes, then tenderly wrapped him in a blanket, taking up the position Sirius had left: Harry's head resting on a pillow on her lap. He sat across from her, watching them both. For children, no... adolescents, Ron, Hermione, and Harry had an amazingly tight bond. Ron had taken up watch with Harry the nights before Hermione's arrival, waking Harry up when necessary and keeping him occupied when he couldn't bring himself to sleep.
"How long has it been like this?" Hermione asked after a while.
"Since we rescued him," Remus replied. "But I don't know if it's been escalating lately or not. I don't know what it was like for him with... them," he said, unable to bring himself to curl his lips around their names. He felt like taking a bath each time he thought about the Dursleys. How could Harry be like he was when he'd had to live with those... pigs? How could such a good kid survive how they'd treated him?
Remus knew now he should have taken Harry in. He should have fought with Dumbledore harder after James' and Lily's deaths. He'd known how much Lily disliked her sister. He'd heard her snide comments about Vernon shortly after returning from their wedding the year she graduated. Her parents had made her go, but Lily had known how Petunia hated her for showing up at her nuptials at all. 'Protections be damned', he thought. He should have been there for James' son. He couldn't blame it on imprisonment. The only excuse he had were Dumbledore's concerns for Harry's protection and his own shame of being a werewolf. He'd feared being a danger to the boy. In retrospect, a werewolf was nothing compared to them.
Remus thought back to Harry's first night at the Burrow. When Harry had woken them all up and asked for Sirius, Remus knew... Sirius should have been at Harry's side the instant he'd screamed. Remus knew then he'd gone back to the Dursleys... If it weren't for the fact that Remus would have smelled the blood if he'd killed them, he'd have beaten Sirius senseless then and there. Sirius' wand had been broken the day he'd been sentenced for life, so Remus was fairly sure he'd not performed any magic against them. He's waited for everyone else to go back to sleep, glaring daggers at Sirius the whole time.
"What were you thinking?!" Remus had snarled, slamming Sirius against the fireplace brick unceremoniously. Sirius didn't struggle. Shame was evident on his face.
"I wasn't," he replied softly. He was so light in Remus' grip. Too light. Too skinny. Much like Harry himself...
"Of all the most selfish.... Self-absorbed... cruel things..." Remus hissed.
"Cruel?!" Sirius had interrupted, his blue eyes wide in surprise. "Moony, you have to be kidding me! Cruel?!"
"Yes, cruel," Remus had replied, letting Sirius drop wearily, struggling to control his rage. "You kill them or hurt them, and what happens to Harry? You're the first connection Harry's has to his past, to his parents. You give him hope for a better life, away from those Muggles... You and he together. He's been excited by the idea of living with you. He's known you all of... what?.... five minutes and already he trusts you. You would throw that all away? Throw away a chance to prove your innocence and reclaim your life... a life you could share with Harry... by giving the Ministry something they could still persecute you for? All on some worthless Muggles? What a cruel thing to do to Harry," Remus had concluded, sitting wearily on the edge of the cocktail table, his anger nearly spent. Sirius had remained where he was, his head hung low, black hair hiding his face in shadows. His shoulders slumped, and Remus realized Sirius was silently crying.
"I didn't hurt them. I just felt like I had to do something. I haven't been there for him... ever, Moony. And I felt so completely useless, seeing him in so much pain, still ready to bash my brains out with that ridiculous lamp. He doesn't need me, Moony... But I need him," he'd said, slowly sliding to the floor. "I need him, and each day I'm losing him a little bit more."
Remus felt the last of his anger slip away like a wisp of smoke. Of all the things he'd seen from Padfoot recently: rage, guilt, bitterness, hate... It hadn't been grief. Remus quickly crouched next to his friend, wrapping his arms around his friend and pulling him close like a child in need of comfort. Like he'd done with Harry earlier that evening.
"He needs you now more than ever, Padfoot," Remus had tried to reassure him. Sirius shook his head.
"He's never been able to depend on anyone. And now, with all this... Look what he's endured this summer all on his own. How long did it take us to finally see the writing on the wall?" Sirius asked. Remus shook his head.
"We're here for him now. We can try to help now," Remus said reasonably.
"He can't allow himself to rely on anyone. It's no longer a matter of trust, Moony. He's learned to trust Ron and Hermione. He trusts the Weasleys. But now with that boy's death... He knows what the stakes are. He knows what could happen to any of us, and it's too late," Sirius said in anguish, defeated. "If I'd gotten free sooner, developed a relationship of some sort with him before all this happened... maybe he wouldn't be able to shut me out. But he's used to the pain and loneliness, and now that he fears for our safety he'll never let us in."
"Sirius," Remus had said, lifting Sirius' face to look at him. "He needs you more than any of us," he stated firmly. Sirius clearly hadn't believed him. "Look at what he faces each night. He's fifteen years old, and he witnesses... well, we all know it's bad. He's seen more horror than any one individual ever should. Now, how old were you when you were thrown in Azkaban? You've been facing your fears and nightmares for years, Padfoot, and you're still here. Harry has you to show him that despite everything, you can still survive with your sanity *somewhat* intact and still have the capacity to love and laugh. Who else could show him that after everything he's gone through, and *will* go through, he can still have a good life?"
Sirius had been still for a long time after that. Remus had thought he'd fallen asleep, but after nearly half an hour leaning against Remus' shoulder, Sirius had sighed loudly and stirred.
"I need you, too, Moony," Sirius had said quietly. Remus closed his eyes against the wave of emotion that once again threatened to engulf him as he recollected that night. That Halloween night, he'd lost everyone who'd been dear to him. He'd lost James and Lily to Voldemort. He'd thought he'd lost Peter to Sirius. He'd lost Sirius to Azkaban. Of the Marauders, only he remained; alone... painfully alone as he'd always ever been, except for a few precious years at Hogwarts. Now he had Sirius again, and the betrayal that had burnt him so deeply turned out to be untrue. Remus had known and loved Peter... but he'd never been blind to his faults... He hated to admit it, but he was comforted by the fact that Peter had betrayed the Potters and not Sirius.
"And I need you, Padfoot. Now more than ever," Remus had said, closing his eyes wearily, amazed at how true it was.
"Remus?" A girl's voice brought Remus back to the present. Hermione. Remus smiled distractedly.
"You were somewhere else for a bit," Hermione observed as she finished drying Harry's hair. Absently, she tossed the towel on the coffee table and used her fingers to twirl a couple of strands of hair around her finger, a small smile on her face. "You know, he'd never let me do this if he were awake," she observed.
"Then perhaps I'd better be," Harry said weakly. Hermione squeaked as she looked down at him in a surprise, a guilty blush creeping up her neck.
"How do you feel?" Remus asked, quickly kneeling beside Harry and looking at him intently.
"Better than earlier," Harry replied, closing his eyes briefly.
"He's awake!" Sirius cried as he saw them talking. A big smile lit up his face as he practically skipped down the stairs, nearly toppling Remus in his haste to reach Harry's side.
"Pardon you," Remus said dryly as he stood up to make room for Sirius. Hermione smiled widely at Remus, then looked down at Harry again, her face serious.
"Harry, I didn't realize how bad your dreams have gotten," she said seriously. Harry tried to shrug, but considering his position it looked more like a grimace. "Was it…?" she asked tentatively, and missed the warning look Sirius gave her.
No one asked about Harry's dreams, at least not anymore. He'd sent his dream journal back with Dumbledore that first day. Upon Madam Pomfrey's return the next morning she'd stated clearly Dumbledore's strict instructions not to ask Harry about his dreams. He would talk about them when he was ready… if he ever was. Remus relayed these instructions now to Hermione, who looked stricken. Harry looked discretely relieved.
"Harry, I'm sorry…" she said. Harry smiled reassuringly at her and reached out a hand, which she promptly took in hers.
"Hermione, it's okay. Really. Yes, it was Voldemort, and I would prefer not to talk about it, but not because I don't trust you. I've been recording my dreams for Dumbledore, and it's hard enough to write it all out, let alone talk about it, too. I was using that journal you gave me, but Dumbledore's got it now, so I've been recording my dreams on scrolls," he said, then smiled gently. "Although soon no one will be able to read my writing." Sirius cringed at the comment and Remus felt his heart drop at the resignation that accompanied Harry's humor.
"Well, it looks like the party's already started, Fred," George said, sauntering downstairs, his bright red hair sticking up in all directions. He wore striped pajamas that were yellow and lime green, and Hermione shook her head. Fred scuffed behind him, still bleary eyed. He looked at the people assembled below and grunted.
"Rough night?" Sirius asked innocently. Fred glared at Sirius and Remus shot him a glance. Had he done anything to the twins? Sirius discretely shook his head. But he'd had them on pins and needles for a while now. Remus knew today would be an interesting day.
"Harry, you're awake!" Ron said, his pajama shirt inside out as he came down the stairs yawning loudly, arms stretched widely. Harry smiled as the rest of the Weasley family began to assemble. "Happy birthday, Harry," Ron said with a warm smile. Hermione's smile grew wider as she noticed Ron's pajama top. Remus caught the quick exchange of glances between Harry and Hermione. He'd seen it as well, and they were both quietly laughing.
"Thanks, Ron," Harry replied, gingerly trying to push himself up into the sitting position. Sirius was helping him in an instant. Remus noted the palsy in Harry's limbs had worsened with last nights dreams. He forced his smile not to falter, but Sirius wasn't as adept. He frowned as he helped Harry up, locking eyes for a moment with Remus.
"Well, Ginny'll be here any second. What do you say we wake up mum and dad and get the festivities going?" George asked. Fred nodded as well, George's enthusiasm finally rubbing off on him.
"How about breakfast?" Sirius asked. Remus shot him a look.
"Not if you're cooking it," he replied.
Me, Lady Foxfire, Sailor Sol, Meryll, Sparks, TsukiTatsu (and Endriago Luna?), Anie, Jubei Potter, Lynx, Kate the Great, Kay, Kayla Summers, Harriet, lothey, Hyper Princess, Phoenix, The Serious One, prongsjr, and sherlock 2k: As always I am incredibly grateful for your kind words and feedback. Enjoy!
Kaydee, and all of you who liked the Poodle Prank: Yippee! I'm so glad you liked the humor, too! 8-) Thank you so much for your kind reviews and feedback. More pranks are on the way, but sorry the chapter isn't here yet… It's coming soon!
velondra539: Personally, I think because of the amount of witnesses who thought they knew what they saw, I think the veritaserum was overlooked. Also, I feel like poor Sirius was lucky he didn't get the kiss outright, because it sure seemed like the circumstances surrounding his capture were more like a lynch mob than an arrest. Thanks as always for your kind words!
Rannchan, Japangirlcarley24, Michelle: Thank you so much for the kind compliments on my writing. I originally posted to get something (anything) out there for others to read, rather than allowing all stories and ideas to gather dust. Feedback like this and so many others has been great for my confidence and has given validation to a private dream. Thank you all very much!
Tanya: I agree with your statement about Hermione needing to see as soon as possible just what Harry was going through. She'll come up with some things to help in the future as well… g
Venus4280: I think Ginny will be returning next chapter… Remember, she was with Charlie.
Nicky: As always, your input and opinions are invaluable. Thank you!!!
Chapter 10
Sirius stirred and blearily opened his eyes. 'What time is it?' he wondered, looking around the dim living room, now only illuminated by the glowing embers of the fire. It was still night, definitely. What had woken him up? Sirius glanced at Harry, who he had finally coaxed into a restless sleep. Tomorrow night he would be able to take the Dreamless Sleep potion again. For only three nights, though. Due to Harry's poor physical condition and lack of reserves, Madam Pomfrey had regretfully reduced the amount of time he could take it while extending the length of time he had to do without.
Sirius jumped, startled, as Harry began to grimace and twitch in his sleep. Harry's hands balled into tight fists and he began to curl into a ball, pulling his legs up to his chest. Feeling dread prickle through his scalp, Sirius watched as the muscles on the sides of Harry's face jumped out, his teeth grinding audibly.
"Harry?" Sirius said to the boy who rested on the couch, his head against a pillow on Sirius' lap. Sirius had brought him here to the Weasley living room after realizing he'd been putting silencing charms around his bed the last two nights. Harry's embarrassment and shame at waking everyone up made him try to retreat ever further into that shell of his that seemed to have sprung up, fully formed, over the summer.
Sirius ran his fingers through Harry's hair. It was soaked with sweat. Sirius shook his shoulder firmly. "Harry," Sirius said, louder now. Harry began gasping for breath. "Harry!" Sirius said, nearly shouting, his pitch rising in near panic as Harry's legs kicked out abruptly, rigidly straight. He arched his back in pain, a scream escaping his lips that sent chills up Sirius' spine.
"Lumos," A voice said from the stairs. Footsteps pounded quickly towards them as Sirius blinked against the abrupt light that now flooded the room.
"No!" Harry screamed, his body now in the throes of a convulsion. He bucked so hard that he nearly fell off the couch completely.
"Harry, wake up!" Sirius yelled, trying to hold his godson to him to keep him from hitting anything and hurting himself further. Sirius glanced up to see Hermione standing in front of him, her eyes wide and frightened. She was staring at Harry, her lower lip quivering. Sirius felt the convulsions begin to weaken, but was terrified that it wasn't because Harry was waking up. In fact, he seemed to slacken in Sirius' arms, his face nearly ashen. Merlin, he was losing him! Sirius barely noticed that Hermione had left the room. He scowled for a moment. He'd thought she was a better friend than that. "Please, Harry, open your eyes!" Sirius begged, then froze in shock as a wave of freezing water splashed across the couch, drenching him and Harry completely. Harry's eyes flew weakly open, and Sirius stared at the frazzled girl standing in front of him, her wand in her hands and an empty bucket at her feet.
"Sorry," she said with a shrug at the stunned expression on Sirius' face, then crouched next to Harry. "Harry, can you hear me?" she asked gently. Harry tried to focus his eyes on her, frowning. Hermione noticed his glasses on the coffee table. She dried them on her robes before slipping them on his face. He smiled weakly at her.
"Thanks," he whispered, then stilled, his body relaxing. Sirius waited for his heart to quit trying to leap out of his chest as he watched Harry. He wasn't sleeping now. He was unconscious. Hermione stood up and headed towards the stairs again. Already feeling bad for his previously uncharitable thoughts towards the girl... 'You know better than that, Sirius,' he said to himself... he watched her silently. A few moments later, she returned with towels, blankets, and some fresh pajamas for Harry. 'Clever,' Sirius thought, grateful she'd thought ahead as he felt Harry begin to shiver. Standing up and gently lifting Harry off the wet couch, he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"I'll take him," Moony said gently. "You're wet as well," he observed, and Sirius wondered where on earth he'd come from. He hadn't seen him come down the stairs. Seeing his unspoken question, Moony nodded towards the front door. "I couldn't sleep," he said, his eyes shadowed as he looked at Harry in his arms. "Go get changed. We'll take care of this," he instructed, meeting eyes with Hermione who nodded as she muttered quietly, drying the couch. She set out Harry's pajamas and looked at Sirius.
"He'll be dry in no time," Hermione said reassuringly. Sirius nodded, and left the room to change.
********************************
Remus watched Hermione towel Harry's hair dry tenderly. She'd turned away bashfully as he'd changed Harry's clothes, then tenderly wrapped him in a blanket, taking up the position Sirius had left: Harry's head resting on a pillow on her lap. He sat across from her, watching them both. For children, no... adolescents, Ron, Hermione, and Harry had an amazingly tight bond. Ron had taken up watch with Harry the nights before Hermione's arrival, waking Harry up when necessary and keeping him occupied when he couldn't bring himself to sleep.
"How long has it been like this?" Hermione asked after a while.
"Since we rescued him," Remus replied. "But I don't know if it's been escalating lately or not. I don't know what it was like for him with... them," he said, unable to bring himself to curl his lips around their names. He felt like taking a bath each time he thought about the Dursleys. How could Harry be like he was when he'd had to live with those... pigs? How could such a good kid survive how they'd treated him?
Remus knew now he should have taken Harry in. He should have fought with Dumbledore harder after James' and Lily's deaths. He'd known how much Lily disliked her sister. He'd heard her snide comments about Vernon shortly after returning from their wedding the year she graduated. Her parents had made her go, but Lily had known how Petunia hated her for showing up at her nuptials at all. 'Protections be damned', he thought. He should have been there for James' son. He couldn't blame it on imprisonment. The only excuse he had were Dumbledore's concerns for Harry's protection and his own shame of being a werewolf. He'd feared being a danger to the boy. In retrospect, a werewolf was nothing compared to them.
Remus thought back to Harry's first night at the Burrow. When Harry had woken them all up and asked for Sirius, Remus knew... Sirius should have been at Harry's side the instant he'd screamed. Remus knew then he'd gone back to the Dursleys... If it weren't for the fact that Remus would have smelled the blood if he'd killed them, he'd have beaten Sirius senseless then and there. Sirius' wand had been broken the day he'd been sentenced for life, so Remus was fairly sure he'd not performed any magic against them. He's waited for everyone else to go back to sleep, glaring daggers at Sirius the whole time.
"What were you thinking?!" Remus had snarled, slamming Sirius against the fireplace brick unceremoniously. Sirius didn't struggle. Shame was evident on his face.
"I wasn't," he replied softly. He was so light in Remus' grip. Too light. Too skinny. Much like Harry himself...
"Of all the most selfish.... Self-absorbed... cruel things..." Remus hissed.
"Cruel?!" Sirius had interrupted, his blue eyes wide in surprise. "Moony, you have to be kidding me! Cruel?!"
"Yes, cruel," Remus had replied, letting Sirius drop wearily, struggling to control his rage. "You kill them or hurt them, and what happens to Harry? You're the first connection Harry's has to his past, to his parents. You give him hope for a better life, away from those Muggles... You and he together. He's been excited by the idea of living with you. He's known you all of... what?.... five minutes and already he trusts you. You would throw that all away? Throw away a chance to prove your innocence and reclaim your life... a life you could share with Harry... by giving the Ministry something they could still persecute you for? All on some worthless Muggles? What a cruel thing to do to Harry," Remus had concluded, sitting wearily on the edge of the cocktail table, his anger nearly spent. Sirius had remained where he was, his head hung low, black hair hiding his face in shadows. His shoulders slumped, and Remus realized Sirius was silently crying.
"I didn't hurt them. I just felt like I had to do something. I haven't been there for him... ever, Moony. And I felt so completely useless, seeing him in so much pain, still ready to bash my brains out with that ridiculous lamp. He doesn't need me, Moony... But I need him," he'd said, slowly sliding to the floor. "I need him, and each day I'm losing him a little bit more."
Remus felt the last of his anger slip away like a wisp of smoke. Of all the things he'd seen from Padfoot recently: rage, guilt, bitterness, hate... It hadn't been grief. Remus quickly crouched next to his friend, wrapping his arms around his friend and pulling him close like a child in need of comfort. Like he'd done with Harry earlier that evening.
"He needs you now more than ever, Padfoot," Remus had tried to reassure him. Sirius shook his head.
"He's never been able to depend on anyone. And now, with all this... Look what he's endured this summer all on his own. How long did it take us to finally see the writing on the wall?" Sirius asked. Remus shook his head.
"We're here for him now. We can try to help now," Remus said reasonably.
"He can't allow himself to rely on anyone. It's no longer a matter of trust, Moony. He's learned to trust Ron and Hermione. He trusts the Weasleys. But now with that boy's death... He knows what the stakes are. He knows what could happen to any of us, and it's too late," Sirius said in anguish, defeated. "If I'd gotten free sooner, developed a relationship of some sort with him before all this happened... maybe he wouldn't be able to shut me out. But he's used to the pain and loneliness, and now that he fears for our safety he'll never let us in."
"Sirius," Remus had said, lifting Sirius' face to look at him. "He needs you more than any of us," he stated firmly. Sirius clearly hadn't believed him. "Look at what he faces each night. He's fifteen years old, and he witnesses... well, we all know it's bad. He's seen more horror than any one individual ever should. Now, how old were you when you were thrown in Azkaban? You've been facing your fears and nightmares for years, Padfoot, and you're still here. Harry has you to show him that despite everything, you can still survive with your sanity *somewhat* intact and still have the capacity to love and laugh. Who else could show him that after everything he's gone through, and *will* go through, he can still have a good life?"
Sirius had been still for a long time after that. Remus had thought he'd fallen asleep, but after nearly half an hour leaning against Remus' shoulder, Sirius had sighed loudly and stirred.
"I need you, too, Moony," Sirius had said quietly. Remus closed his eyes against the wave of emotion that once again threatened to engulf him as he recollected that night. That Halloween night, he'd lost everyone who'd been dear to him. He'd lost James and Lily to Voldemort. He'd thought he'd lost Peter to Sirius. He'd lost Sirius to Azkaban. Of the Marauders, only he remained; alone... painfully alone as he'd always ever been, except for a few precious years at Hogwarts. Now he had Sirius again, and the betrayal that had burnt him so deeply turned out to be untrue. Remus had known and loved Peter... but he'd never been blind to his faults... He hated to admit it, but he was comforted by the fact that Peter had betrayed the Potters and not Sirius.
"And I need you, Padfoot. Now more than ever," Remus had said, closing his eyes wearily, amazed at how true it was.
"Remus?" A girl's voice brought Remus back to the present. Hermione. Remus smiled distractedly.
"You were somewhere else for a bit," Hermione observed as she finished drying Harry's hair. Absently, she tossed the towel on the coffee table and used her fingers to twirl a couple of strands of hair around her finger, a small smile on her face. "You know, he'd never let me do this if he were awake," she observed.
"Then perhaps I'd better be," Harry said weakly. Hermione squeaked as she looked down at him in a surprise, a guilty blush creeping up her neck.
"How do you feel?" Remus asked, quickly kneeling beside Harry and looking at him intently.
"Better than earlier," Harry replied, closing his eyes briefly.
"He's awake!" Sirius cried as he saw them talking. A big smile lit up his face as he practically skipped down the stairs, nearly toppling Remus in his haste to reach Harry's side.
"Pardon you," Remus said dryly as he stood up to make room for Sirius. Hermione smiled widely at Remus, then looked down at Harry again, her face serious.
"Harry, I didn't realize how bad your dreams have gotten," she said seriously. Harry tried to shrug, but considering his position it looked more like a grimace. "Was it…?" she asked tentatively, and missed the warning look Sirius gave her.
No one asked about Harry's dreams, at least not anymore. He'd sent his dream journal back with Dumbledore that first day. Upon Madam Pomfrey's return the next morning she'd stated clearly Dumbledore's strict instructions not to ask Harry about his dreams. He would talk about them when he was ready… if he ever was. Remus relayed these instructions now to Hermione, who looked stricken. Harry looked discretely relieved.
"Harry, I'm sorry…" she said. Harry smiled reassuringly at her and reached out a hand, which she promptly took in hers.
"Hermione, it's okay. Really. Yes, it was Voldemort, and I would prefer not to talk about it, but not because I don't trust you. I've been recording my dreams for Dumbledore, and it's hard enough to write it all out, let alone talk about it, too. I was using that journal you gave me, but Dumbledore's got it now, so I've been recording my dreams on scrolls," he said, then smiled gently. "Although soon no one will be able to read my writing." Sirius cringed at the comment and Remus felt his heart drop at the resignation that accompanied Harry's humor.
"Well, it looks like the party's already started, Fred," George said, sauntering downstairs, his bright red hair sticking up in all directions. He wore striped pajamas that were yellow and lime green, and Hermione shook her head. Fred scuffed behind him, still bleary eyed. He looked at the people assembled below and grunted.
"Rough night?" Sirius asked innocently. Fred glared at Sirius and Remus shot him a glance. Had he done anything to the twins? Sirius discretely shook his head. But he'd had them on pins and needles for a while now. Remus knew today would be an interesting day.
"Harry, you're awake!" Ron said, his pajama shirt inside out as he came down the stairs yawning loudly, arms stretched widely. Harry smiled as the rest of the Weasley family began to assemble. "Happy birthday, Harry," Ron said with a warm smile. Hermione's smile grew wider as she noticed Ron's pajama top. Remus caught the quick exchange of glances between Harry and Hermione. He'd seen it as well, and they were both quietly laughing.
"Thanks, Ron," Harry replied, gingerly trying to push himself up into the sitting position. Sirius was helping him in an instant. Remus noted the palsy in Harry's limbs had worsened with last nights dreams. He forced his smile not to falter, but Sirius wasn't as adept. He frowned as he helped Harry up, locking eyes for a moment with Remus.
"Well, Ginny'll be here any second. What do you say we wake up mum and dad and get the festivities going?" George asked. Fred nodded as well, George's enthusiasm finally rubbing off on him.
"How about breakfast?" Sirius asked. Remus shot him a look.
"Not if you're cooking it," he replied.