Kate the Great: I'm not sure about the journal thing. I actually just
came up with it on my own. I felt like it wouldn't be something Harry
would buy for himself, and Ron certainly wasn't the type to buy for him, so
Hermione was the logical choice.
Silentangel, venus4280, Anne, Lynx, ratgirl, m-27, summersun, SpiderGirl05, WeasleyTwinsLover1112, AllAboutMe and Padfoot, Moony, and Prongs 4EVER, CocaCola, Kimmy: Hmmm. Let's see. Thanks as always for the kind reviews. Lots more dreams and scar issues in upcoming chapters. The plot will be picking up now as well. The peace never lasts for poor Harry, does it? Bwah hah hah hah. ahem. Lots of angst ahead.
Japangirlcarley24: I just love it when someone tells me I should publish stuff! *blushes and grins happily*
Tanya: Perhaps… There's a lot more to the dreams than is currently known… 8-) The Snape factor should prove interesting, I hope. You'll see a lot more into his and Harry's interaction. No, they were great plot bunny thoughts. You've already got some insight into where I'm going… But I'll stop there. No sense in giving stuff away. g
aleema_darkrose: Wow, thanks! I really appreciate that!
Author's Note: Thank goodness Fanfiction.net is back up! I have been going INSANE!!! Nope, not an addict. 8-) As always, please review if you can. Enjoy!
Chapter 14
Harry closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of being in the air. For a moment he had been ashamed. When he'd first mounted the broom, Harry wobbled up as precariously as Neville had the first time he'd tried to fly. Hermione had gasped with shock or surprise, Harry wasn't sure which. The shame had quickly passed, though. After all, what is pride in the face of actually flying again? In a not so private corner of Harry's mind, he'd realized it was possible he might not be able to do this again.
The twins were nearby, talking quietly. At first Harry had been surprised they hadn't teased him, considering he was their Seeker, but a glance at Ron's scowl made Harry smile in realization. Perhaps they would have, but their youngest brother's expression had stopped them. It certainly couldn't have been based upon their good judgement, Harry thought wryly.
Harry briefly wondered what the others were talking about in the house, but stifled that thought. 'Just worry about flying. You don't know how long you'll be able to do this,' he told himself. Right on queue Mrs. Weasley broke into his reverie.
"Harry? How about some cake?" she called from the doorway. Shadows milling behind her indicated the discussion must have ended. Harry smiled and lowered to the ground. He ignored the look on her face as he nearly botched the landing. 'Any landing you walk away from is a good one,' he thought ironically. He heard it a long time ago as a pilot's saying. It applied equally as well to brooms. With only slightly rubbery legs he joined Ron and Hermione, tenderly leaning his beloved broom against the house with the others.
"Did you have fun?" Hermione asked. Harry nodded with a smile.
"I did," he replied simply. He felt good. Instead of the overwhelming weakness that kept him from being able to move much, he had the quivering fatigue of someone who had overexerted, or was recovering from a long illness. His steps were small, but confident. For today, he'd pretend he was recovering.
Harry shook his head as he stepped into the Burrow. A cake was on the dining room table. The candles that lit it weren't actually in the cake, but hovered above it. Fifteen. A cake for his birthday. Harry sighed with contentment. It was only the second cake he'd ever received in person. The first Hagrid had given him years ago, when he'd first come to collect him for Hogwarts. Harry missed Hagrid. Hagrid's heart was even bigger than he was, and Harry hoped that the giants (for that's where Harry assumed he'd gone) would treat him well.
"Well, aren't you going to blow out your candles?" Sirius asked, a puzzled frown on his face at Harry's thoughtful silence once he sat at the table. Dumbledore had settled himself in a chair in the corner of the room, quietly watching the proceedings. Ginny stood nearby, her eyes sparkling. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley stood behind the twins, who sat across from Harry with large grins on their face. Remus and Sirius sat on one side of Harry, while Ron and Hermione sat on the other. Harry closed his eyes for a moment, and made a wish. Then he took a deep breath and blew out all the candles.
As everyone cheered, and plates began to line up single file for a scoop of ice cream and a piece of cake, Sirius asked, "What did you wish for?" Harry smiled mysteriously.
"I can't tell you, or it won't come true," Harry replied. Mrs. Weasley handed Harry a plate nearly overflowing with chocolate cake. Harry repressed the urge to shake his head. He may have a diminished appetite, but if he were to live with Mrs. Weasley he suspected he would rival Dudley's girth in no time. Once all the plates were filled and handed out, the cake disappeared to the kitchen. In its place appeared a stack of presents. Harry laughed.
'There's nothing better than a magical birthday,' he thought contentedly. The twins had begun to eye Sirius with intent, and Harry watched as a dark look from Sirius sufficiently intimidated them. Even a joking dark look from the escaped convict was a frightening thing. Dumbledore's eyes watched the interaction between the twins and Sirius with keen interest. Ginny's eyes laughed as well. She'd teased the twins ruthlessly about the joke played on them.
Harry looked across at Remus, who watched Sirius with an arched eyebrow. 'He looks tired,' Harry thought, and as if Remus felt Harry's eyes on him, he glanced up and smiled gently.
"Happy birthday, Harry," he said.
"Thank you," Harry replied. He liked Remus, and was glad he was there as well. He and Sirius were good for each other. There were moments with Sirius… moments when Harry wondered if it were possible to have Dementor flashbacks. The look in Sirius' eyes … They'd deaden, flatten out. His eyes held no sparkle, and contained barely any life. Remus wasn't afraid of those moments. Harry watched him as he would gently try to steer Sirius back to safer waters, happier conversations.
Remus had his own burden of sadness. Looking back, Harry had seen it even the first day he met him on the train. The threadbare robes, the painfully weary body of a man faced with agony each full moon for the rest of his life. Remus seemed ashamed of being a werewolf. Harry remembered how everyone had treated him once they knew of his curse. Harry was ashamed of the wizarding world for how they treated him.
Something seemed to come alive in Remus after realizing Sirius' innocence. Harry knew how important Ron and Hermione were to him. He couldn't bear to face the possibility of losing either one. Remus had lost three, nearly four of his dearest friends. Harry closed his eyes against his own fears that threatened to surface. 'Shush,' he thought. Amazing how easy it was to entertain the bad, and how hard it was to enjoy the good while you had it. Harry was glad Remus and Sirius had each other. They needed each other. Harry glanced at Ron and Hermione and saw their own smiling expressions. He smiled warmly in return.
'Just hope you have better luck with your friends,' a dark part in Harry's mind whispered, and Harry had to fight to keep his smile from faltering. Now why did his brain insist on doing that?
But the strain of being a werewolf showed in every fiber of Remus, and twelve years in Azkaban had stripped the youth and innocence of Sirius far harsher than Harry imagined a Muggle prison ever could.
Harry refused to let his imagination go any further when worrying about his own friends. He needed them. As much as pushing them away would likely keep them safe, they had refused in the past, and would continue to do so. And Harry knew deep down that the loneliness that already nearly engulfed him would likely be too much without them.
"So are you going to open your presents or what?" Ron asked Harry, breaking his train of thought to Harry's relief. Ron widened his eyes in exasperation at his friend. 'How can you not be opening these presents?' the look asked. Harry laughed as he finished his cake and set the plate aside. He finished his cake? Harry looked at his plate with wide eyes. Now that was different. Glancing up at Fawkes, still sitting on Dumbledore's shoulders, Harry caught Dumbledore's eyes.
"It's good to see your appetite returning," Dumbledore said. Sirius' face lit up like a Christmas tree as he realized Harry had cleaned his plate, and even Ron snorted. Harry was startled at the stark relief that flashed across Sirius' face for a moment, but as quickly as it appeared, it was gone.
"Alright, Harry," Ron commented. He stood up and began inspecting the presents, clearly impatient with Harry's stillness.
Harry didn't say aloud that he could stare at those presents all day without opening them, marveling that he had any at all. Some days, Harry still had to pinch himself, terrified that if he didn't he might wake up back at the Dursleys. Harry caught a look from Sirius, and realized his face must have reflected his thoughts. He shook his head at Ron and reached out for a present.
"Since you're so impatient for me to open these, which one would you suggest first?" Harry asked Ron. Ron's hand hovered over the table as he turned an inquisitive look towards his mom. Harry frowned. A faint shake of her head directed Ron's roving hand away from an oddly shaped small package to a wrapped, flat package that looked suspiciously book sized.
"Can you guess who this is from?" Ron asked with a glint in his eye.
"Hermione?" Harry asked with a laugh. Hermione mock scowled at the both of them, took the present out of Ron's hand and handed it to Harry.
"Tried and true," she replied primly, but her eyes still laughed. Harry opened the gift. Hexes and Curses of Highly Effective Aurors: Creativity as an Ally against the Dark Arts the title read. Harry raised an eyebrow. Hermione nodded proudly. "I've never heard of a lot of those curses, but they sound wicked!" Hermione said enthusiastically, using a phrase Ron normally abused. Ron snorted. Harry opened the book randomly, his smile widening. "…causes complete paralysis, allowing only respiration and circulation to continue…" his eyes scanned and he looked again at Hermione. Oh my.
"Wow, thanks Hermione," Harry said, feeling empowered holding the book. If he felt confident with his curses since training for the Triwizard Tournament, then this would take him to a whole new level. "Where did you find this?" Harry asked. These spells seemed awfully powerful and advanced for a fifth year to purchase at Flourish and Blotts.
"Umm," Hermione said, blushing. Her eyes darted around her at the adults guiltily, then she leaned forward and whispered, "Gilderoy Lockhart needed some new books…"
"What do you mean?" Harry whispered back quickly.
"Well, it's not like his memory is reliable anymore. I mean, he *could* have ordered this for me… Besides, a lot of people still only know him through his books. They don't know about his... humm… condition," she said wryly, referring to the deflected memory erasing charms he'd tried to use on Harry, Ron, and Hermione that instead had erased his own memories… indefinitely. Harry knew his jaw dropped about a foot. With wide eyes he stared at his friend in surprise. Her blush began to rival ones Ron was capable of, but her expression indicated she was very pleased with herself. 'It was only a matter of time before the Hogwarts' library wouldn't contain her curiosity,' Harry realized, and hugged her. 'Oh course, for Hermione to find deep and true motivation to break rules, of course it would involve books.'
"What is it?" Sirius asked suspiciously, trying to spy the writing on the cover. Harry quickly whisked the book underneath his chair, then effectively blocked Sirius' vision by reaching for another present Ron was trying to hand him. He wished he'd contained his shock a little better. Now everyone was curious.
"101 Habits of Highly Effective Aurors," Harry lied smoothly, remembering a popular title from last year. He nudged Ron, who looked like he was about to correct him, and noticed the other adults nodding except for Remus and Sirius. Dumbledore didn't look fooled, either, but Harry wondered if there was anything that slipped past him. Either that, or he simply had the 'knowing' look down to a science. Harry nearly snorted. 'Where on Earth are these thoughts coming from?' Harry marveled. 'Don't let me open my mouth, or I'll end up as bad as Malfoy,' he thought, then paused. 'Okay, not as bad as Malfoy,' he amended, taking a small package out of Ron's hands.
The box was just slightly larger than a ring box. The wrapping was of tiny birthday cakes, their flames flickering. Harry looked up and saw Ron smiling broadly. Harry's eyebrows arched. 'From you?' his eyes asked. Ron nodded. Harry opened the box, and a miniature golden snitch flew out to hover next to Harry's head. It was about the size of a small rubber ball, and it sounded just a slightly higher pitch than a real snitch would. Harry watched as it began zipping about the room.
"It's a Mini Snitch, designed for Seekers who live in places where the weather is too bad to play in for long periods of time," Ron explained. Even as Harry listened, he couldn't help but follow the Mini Snitch's movements from place to place in the room with his peripheral vision. "It's smaller sized to let Seekers train to notice it, but it hovers and moves like a real snitch so you can catch it like normal. Only it's harder, of course, because it's so much smaller," Ron explained. The snitch was currently to the left of Ron's shoulder, just within reach… In a shot, Harry's hand shot out at he grasped the tiny ball in his fist with a grin. Ron jumped in surprise, and Fred and George hooted. "Bloody…" Ron said, then caught himself as Mrs. Weasley scowled. "You're kind of scary with that, you know?" Ron amended. Harry nearly beamed.
"I know," Harry replied with a smirk. "Thanks, Ron!" Harry said enthusiastically. Ron looked very pleased with himself, then smacked his forehead abruptly.
"Oh, and you can keep it active to remain only in a certain room, or to follow you around wherever you go," Ron added.
"Can you imagine Harry making a grab for that in Potions?" George asked, his face saying he was currently doing so. Harry felt his own face fall.
Hogwarts. How was he going to be able to go to school? Fifth year was less than a month away, and Harry knew the dreams would return. How was he going to be able to go up to Divinations (not that he really wanted to), or down to the Dungeons for Potions when he barely had the stamina to float around the Weasley's back yard? His thoughts seemed reflected by those around him as suddenly the room became uncomfortably silent.
His initial fears at the beginning of summer had been what it would be like to see where the maze had been, to see Cho again, knowing he was to blame for Cedric's death. The end of last year had been awful. Now… He needn't worry about that. Dumbledore cleared his throat and pointed to a shiny bright blue package.
"Perhaps that would do for Harry to open next," Dumbledore said. Ron silently lifted the package and handed it to Harry. The paper looked like see-through saran wrap, but when Harry pulled it open, there was indeed something inside. A tiny golden lapel pin of a stag, with flecks of emerald for each eye. Harry looked at it admiringly. Although he'd never worn jewelry before, the sentiment was keenly felt.
"Thank…" Harry said.
"Actually, that's no ordinary pin, Harry," Dumbledore interrupted before Harry could finish. "That is a portkey. It's been set to go to specific deserted classrooms within Hogwarts. The wards are all still in place," Dumbledore said reassuringly before anyone could ask, "But you will be able to travel to your classes with ease, rather than facing the moving staircases," he finished. Harry was astonished. He'd spent so much time trying to face his fear of leaving his friends and the only home he'd ever really known behind, that he didn't quite know what to say now that in one moment it had been alleviated. He knew his mouth was hanging open.
"I.." Harry said, but couldn't finish. Ron's smile was enormous, and Hermione was discretely trying to wipe her eyes. Ron glanced over at her, her head hanging low, frizzy hair falling all around to hide her face. He leaned into her and bumped her with his shoulder playfully. She laughed, but her voice trembled as she did so, and she sniffled loudly. Harry sighed. He always felt at a loss when she cried. Fred and George gave each other a 'high-five'… 'Now where would they learn that?' Harry wondered. That was a Muggle thing. Remus put a hand on Sirius' shoulder, and Harry realized Sirius' eyes were glistening, too. Apparently he'd been worried about the same thing. Harry knew his own face probably mirrored Sirius'. He couldn't have asked for a better gift.
"There are such things as handicapped wizards and witches. Some injuries cannot be healed by magic. Hogwarts is appropriately equipped to handle these special circumstances, although we haven't had a need for many years. Besides…" Dumbledore said with a mischievous grin, "I think there will be more than a few surprised students seeking solitude for reasons other than study purposes that need to be evicted from those rooms. You will be doing Hogwarts a favor." Harry happened to glance over at Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, who were both blushing furiously. Dumbledore looked over at them as well, and Mr. Weasley coughed uncomfortably.
"Wow, Harry…" Mr. Weasley squeeked. "Great gift, there." Ginny and Hermione both giggled as Dumbledore watched Mr. and Mrs. Weasley for a moment more. Dumbledore then turned a stern gaze on Sirius, who'd been snickering not-so-discretely.
"Yes, Mr. Black?" Dumbledore asked, and now it was Sirius who blushed. Remus had to cough to cover his laughter. Sirius scowled at him momentarily, then attempted an innocent look. He failed miserably.
"You'll have more to gossip about than Lavender," Hermione said to Harry, her eyes puffy but the tears thankfully abated. Harry shook his head bemusedly. The idea of walking in on people… It didn't sound too amusing to him. He refused to let his imagination go anywhere with that thought, or he knew he himself would be blushing in a moment.
"Open another present, Harry," Sirius stated, and Harry grinned at the not- so-subtle attempt to steer the conversation away from empty classrooms.
"Thank you, Headmaster," Harry said sincerely. His voice was solemn as he looked Dumbledore in the eyes. Words seemed inadequate to express his relief. Fawkes chirped quietly, breaking the tension. Dumbledore smiled warmly.
"What other presents do you have there?" Dumbledore asked, directing Harry's attention back to the table. Ron had picked up another suspicious book-sized package.
"Who's this from?" Ron asked.
"Remus and I," Sirius said.
"Are you sure it's not another one from you, Hermione?" Ron teased. Hermione tossed a napkin at Ron, which he deftly avoided while handing the package to Harry. Harry smiled at both men and quickly unwrapped the gift. Quiddich throught the Ages was the title, and the cover showed a game of Quiddich being played with brooms that looked like they belonged in the 1800s. Harry smiled gratefully.
"Open it," Sirius prompted. Harry did so, and the text on the inside of the book said something quite different. The Animagus in All of Us by Katrina Feral. Harry thumbed through it eagerly. Step by step instructions, no less, on becoming an Animagus. Ron had been reading over Harry's shoulder and nearly exclaimed his enthusiasm, if Harry hadn't kicked his chin discretely.
"Sometimes it's helpful that an opponent not know all ones capabilities," Remus said, his expression unreadable as he glanced at Sirius. Sirius' own expression spoke volumes.
"Thank you both," Harry said, grateful they were in his life. "A lot," he added, and they seemed to understand Harry's thanks was for more than the gift. Sirius nodded, and Remus smiled.
"Whoah," Ron said as he picked up an enormous box wrapped in fluorescent orange, pink and blue. Pictures of clowns ran across the paper throwing confetti, which was actually falling outside the present to collect in a now rather large pile on the Weasley table.
"And by those colors, I cannot fathom how you could not know who that is from," Ginny said ironically. Harry glanced up at her. She still stood in the corner, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed in front of her, a wry smile playing on her face as she watched the twins. They positively squirmed in glee. Harry laughed as he accepted the box, holding it gingerly away from his face.
"I don't know if it's wise to open it," Harry said, not entirely joking.
"Oh, go on," George said with a stern look reminiscent of Professor McGonagall.
"It's nothing bad," Fred promised. Harry looked him square in the eye for a moment, trying to gauge his sincerity. Nodding after a moment, Harry tore the paper open and lifted the lid on the box, suppressing a flinch. Nothing exploded. That was a good start. Peering inside, the box was filled with many smaller boxes, baubles and packets of all sizes and colors. Harry frowned as he glanced inquisitively at the twins.
"Samples, Harry. For our new joke shop. Consider yourself a beta tester. Each joke comes with instructions and even a suggestion or two for optimal results," George said proudly. Hermione's mouth now hung open in surprise.
"Beta? Optimal? Okay, you're scaring me," Hermione joked with the twins. They smiled broadly.
"We take jokes very seriously," George said. Fred nodded solemnly. Harry knew the Triwizard winnings couldn't have been better spent.
"It looks like there is only one more," Ron said, picking up the odd shaped package he'd nearly grabbed first. Ron handed it to Harry solemnly, and Harry glanced around as the rest of the Weasley clan approached closer to the table.
"Open it, Harry," Ginny said with a smile. Harry did so. It was a small vase. Harry peered inside and saw…
"Floo powder?" Harry asked. The Weasleys were nodding.
"Actually, follow me," Ron said, grabbing Harry's elbow enthusiastically. Harry winced in pain as Ron's fingers pressed into the injury Pettigrew gave him. Ron's hands pulled back quickly, his eyes dark with sympathy. "Sorry, mate," Ron said, then grabbed Harry's sleeve. "Come on!" He said and bounded up the stairs. Harry followed more slowly. Everyone else in the room stood up and followed as well. Ron was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet at Percy's door, hand on the door handle, waiting for Harry. Harry held his arm close and had to fight the urge to press the crook of his elbow. It burned. Damn Pettigrew, anyway. As Harry walked up to Ron, Ron looked over his shoulder as if waiting for a cue. Nodding when apparently he received one, Ron threw the door wide open. Percy's room was… different.
Harry had seen Percy's room before. It was meticulously clean, with a shelf for all his school books. Pictures of his family decorated his wall in a mural style Martha Stewart would be proud of (Aunt Petunia owned every single one of her books). Percy had only a couple of posters that were mainly of wizarding authors Harry had never heard of. A few trophies had sat on Percy's desk that Harry never had the chance to see what he had gotten them for.
But Percy's room looked totally different now. Splashed across every wall were Quiddich posters of all the currently popular teams. The bed, normally so flat and sterile looking with white sheets and a brown woolen blanket, was now covered with a down filled duvet comforter, and a quilt Mrs. Weasley must have made. The walls, once tame and mellow, were bright Gryffindor colors. Harry's trunk lay at the foot of the bed, along with Hedwig's cage. Harry felt a chill run down his back as he stared in shock at what the Weasleys seemed to be showing him.
"The floo powder is our version of a house key, Harry," Mr. Weasley said from behind, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder. His voice was low with emotion.
"You know mum's already practically adopted you," Ron said, nodding his head in the room. Harry stepped inside, his legs feeling jerky as he looked around him.
"Percy moved out a while ago, you know," Ginny nearly had to yell from behind the twins. Comically, she was leaping to catch glimpses of what was going on from over Fred and George's shoulders.
"It's the best this room has looked in a long time!" Fred said enthusiastically. George nodded.
"We know you'll want to stay with Sirius when he's cleared, Harry. But that doesn't mean we can't offer you a home in the meantime," Mrs. Weasley said, her voice alternating in pitch oddly as she tried to keep from crying. "The floo powder is so you know you will always have a place here," she said solemnly. Ron watched Harry with an intense expression on his face, his eyes searching Harry's. Harry knew tears now did flow down his face.
"Oh, give him a hug!" Fred said, his own voice suspiciously tremulous as he tried to mock the moment. Ron crossed the room in a heartbeat, grabbing Harry up in a big hug.
"Now I'm not the only target in this house for Fred and George's antics!" Ron said, letting go of Harry abruptly, eager for the awkwardness to quickly pass.
"What about Ginny? Don't they play tricks on her?" Harry asked, grateful for the light banter to allow him to recover.
"I think they're afraid of her. It must have something to do with her being the youngest and able to get away with anything," Ron replied with a snort. Harry glanced at Ginny in surprise. She had finally shouldered the twins to the side and stood proudly next to her mom. The quirk of the side of her mouth and the knowing nod indicated she agreed with Ron. Harry had a hard time imagining the twins thinking twice before pulling pranks on anyone. Although he knew it was only a matter of time before they felt that way about Sirius. He still hadn't told them about the Marauders. Harry had to admit it was too much fun to watch them plot and scheme, knowing they didn't stand a chance against Sirius.
A room of his own. A normal room, with posters and… He could put things on the walls. He could keep his trunk out. He could sit with Hedwig and not worry about anyone seeing her. He could do homework whenever he wanted. A gift like this was too much.
Harry took in the sight of the Weasleys standing around him expectantly. Fred and George were grinning broadly, as was Ginny. Mrs. Weasley was sobbing openly, and Harry let her grab him up in a crushing bear hug that Harry speculated could have rivaled one of Hagrids. She held him close, and Harry closed his eyes, letting himself be held, comforted. In his heart he knew there was no refusing this gift. He just prayed they didn't live to regret it.
Harry glanced over at Mr. Weasley as Mrs. Weasley finally let him go, absentmindedly trying to straighten his hair. His face held a strange expression. Harry almost thought he read guilt there, along with affection and pride. Harry realized that although he was fond of Mr. Weasley, he didn't know him that well. The look in Mr. Weasley's eyes was the most candid Harry had ever seen them. It wasn't the eyes of a man bemusedly fond of his son's best friend. This was the expression of a man who cared for Harry. Who wanted to see Harry happy and healthy. Much to Mr. Weasley's surprise, Harry hugged him as well. He seemed stiff for a moment, then pulled Harry close, thumping his back soundly.
"You don't ever have to go back to them. You hear me?" Mr. Weasley whispered quietly in Harry's ear before letting him go. "Your place is here," he said solemnly. Harry nodded. The 'Awwws' coming from the twins was finally too much. Harry hugged them both, much to their embarrassment, then Ginny as well. She blushed furiously as she stepped away, her eyes suspiciously watery, but didn't say anything. Harry suspected her composure might crack if she did.
"Well, enough of this! I say let's have more cake!"
"Agreed. But before Harry joins you, I'd like to have a word in private with him," Dumbledore said. Harry watched as everyone headed downstairs. Sirius and Remus both kept looking over their shoulders as they left, clearly not wanting to do so. Sirius especially seemed keen not to let Harry out of his sight. Dumbledore closed the door and gestured for Harry to sit on the bed. "There are a few things we must discuss," Dumbledore said, his face solemn. Harry shifted uncomfortably. This didn't sound good.
Silentangel, venus4280, Anne, Lynx, ratgirl, m-27, summersun, SpiderGirl05, WeasleyTwinsLover1112, AllAboutMe and Padfoot, Moony, and Prongs 4EVER, CocaCola, Kimmy: Hmmm. Let's see. Thanks as always for the kind reviews. Lots more dreams and scar issues in upcoming chapters. The plot will be picking up now as well. The peace never lasts for poor Harry, does it? Bwah hah hah hah. ahem. Lots of angst ahead.
Japangirlcarley24: I just love it when someone tells me I should publish stuff! *blushes and grins happily*
Tanya: Perhaps… There's a lot more to the dreams than is currently known… 8-) The Snape factor should prove interesting, I hope. You'll see a lot more into his and Harry's interaction. No, they were great plot bunny thoughts. You've already got some insight into where I'm going… But I'll stop there. No sense in giving stuff away. g
aleema_darkrose: Wow, thanks! I really appreciate that!
Author's Note: Thank goodness Fanfiction.net is back up! I have been going INSANE!!! Nope, not an addict. 8-) As always, please review if you can. Enjoy!
Chapter 14
Harry closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of being in the air. For a moment he had been ashamed. When he'd first mounted the broom, Harry wobbled up as precariously as Neville had the first time he'd tried to fly. Hermione had gasped with shock or surprise, Harry wasn't sure which. The shame had quickly passed, though. After all, what is pride in the face of actually flying again? In a not so private corner of Harry's mind, he'd realized it was possible he might not be able to do this again.
The twins were nearby, talking quietly. At first Harry had been surprised they hadn't teased him, considering he was their Seeker, but a glance at Ron's scowl made Harry smile in realization. Perhaps they would have, but their youngest brother's expression had stopped them. It certainly couldn't have been based upon their good judgement, Harry thought wryly.
Harry briefly wondered what the others were talking about in the house, but stifled that thought. 'Just worry about flying. You don't know how long you'll be able to do this,' he told himself. Right on queue Mrs. Weasley broke into his reverie.
"Harry? How about some cake?" she called from the doorway. Shadows milling behind her indicated the discussion must have ended. Harry smiled and lowered to the ground. He ignored the look on her face as he nearly botched the landing. 'Any landing you walk away from is a good one,' he thought ironically. He heard it a long time ago as a pilot's saying. It applied equally as well to brooms. With only slightly rubbery legs he joined Ron and Hermione, tenderly leaning his beloved broom against the house with the others.
"Did you have fun?" Hermione asked. Harry nodded with a smile.
"I did," he replied simply. He felt good. Instead of the overwhelming weakness that kept him from being able to move much, he had the quivering fatigue of someone who had overexerted, or was recovering from a long illness. His steps were small, but confident. For today, he'd pretend he was recovering.
Harry shook his head as he stepped into the Burrow. A cake was on the dining room table. The candles that lit it weren't actually in the cake, but hovered above it. Fifteen. A cake for his birthday. Harry sighed with contentment. It was only the second cake he'd ever received in person. The first Hagrid had given him years ago, when he'd first come to collect him for Hogwarts. Harry missed Hagrid. Hagrid's heart was even bigger than he was, and Harry hoped that the giants (for that's where Harry assumed he'd gone) would treat him well.
"Well, aren't you going to blow out your candles?" Sirius asked, a puzzled frown on his face at Harry's thoughtful silence once he sat at the table. Dumbledore had settled himself in a chair in the corner of the room, quietly watching the proceedings. Ginny stood nearby, her eyes sparkling. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley stood behind the twins, who sat across from Harry with large grins on their face. Remus and Sirius sat on one side of Harry, while Ron and Hermione sat on the other. Harry closed his eyes for a moment, and made a wish. Then he took a deep breath and blew out all the candles.
As everyone cheered, and plates began to line up single file for a scoop of ice cream and a piece of cake, Sirius asked, "What did you wish for?" Harry smiled mysteriously.
"I can't tell you, or it won't come true," Harry replied. Mrs. Weasley handed Harry a plate nearly overflowing with chocolate cake. Harry repressed the urge to shake his head. He may have a diminished appetite, but if he were to live with Mrs. Weasley he suspected he would rival Dudley's girth in no time. Once all the plates were filled and handed out, the cake disappeared to the kitchen. In its place appeared a stack of presents. Harry laughed.
'There's nothing better than a magical birthday,' he thought contentedly. The twins had begun to eye Sirius with intent, and Harry watched as a dark look from Sirius sufficiently intimidated them. Even a joking dark look from the escaped convict was a frightening thing. Dumbledore's eyes watched the interaction between the twins and Sirius with keen interest. Ginny's eyes laughed as well. She'd teased the twins ruthlessly about the joke played on them.
Harry looked across at Remus, who watched Sirius with an arched eyebrow. 'He looks tired,' Harry thought, and as if Remus felt Harry's eyes on him, he glanced up and smiled gently.
"Happy birthday, Harry," he said.
"Thank you," Harry replied. He liked Remus, and was glad he was there as well. He and Sirius were good for each other. There were moments with Sirius… moments when Harry wondered if it were possible to have Dementor flashbacks. The look in Sirius' eyes … They'd deaden, flatten out. His eyes held no sparkle, and contained barely any life. Remus wasn't afraid of those moments. Harry watched him as he would gently try to steer Sirius back to safer waters, happier conversations.
Remus had his own burden of sadness. Looking back, Harry had seen it even the first day he met him on the train. The threadbare robes, the painfully weary body of a man faced with agony each full moon for the rest of his life. Remus seemed ashamed of being a werewolf. Harry remembered how everyone had treated him once they knew of his curse. Harry was ashamed of the wizarding world for how they treated him.
Something seemed to come alive in Remus after realizing Sirius' innocence. Harry knew how important Ron and Hermione were to him. He couldn't bear to face the possibility of losing either one. Remus had lost three, nearly four of his dearest friends. Harry closed his eyes against his own fears that threatened to surface. 'Shush,' he thought. Amazing how easy it was to entertain the bad, and how hard it was to enjoy the good while you had it. Harry was glad Remus and Sirius had each other. They needed each other. Harry glanced at Ron and Hermione and saw their own smiling expressions. He smiled warmly in return.
'Just hope you have better luck with your friends,' a dark part in Harry's mind whispered, and Harry had to fight to keep his smile from faltering. Now why did his brain insist on doing that?
But the strain of being a werewolf showed in every fiber of Remus, and twelve years in Azkaban had stripped the youth and innocence of Sirius far harsher than Harry imagined a Muggle prison ever could.
Harry refused to let his imagination go any further when worrying about his own friends. He needed them. As much as pushing them away would likely keep them safe, they had refused in the past, and would continue to do so. And Harry knew deep down that the loneliness that already nearly engulfed him would likely be too much without them.
"So are you going to open your presents or what?" Ron asked Harry, breaking his train of thought to Harry's relief. Ron widened his eyes in exasperation at his friend. 'How can you not be opening these presents?' the look asked. Harry laughed as he finished his cake and set the plate aside. He finished his cake? Harry looked at his plate with wide eyes. Now that was different. Glancing up at Fawkes, still sitting on Dumbledore's shoulders, Harry caught Dumbledore's eyes.
"It's good to see your appetite returning," Dumbledore said. Sirius' face lit up like a Christmas tree as he realized Harry had cleaned his plate, and even Ron snorted. Harry was startled at the stark relief that flashed across Sirius' face for a moment, but as quickly as it appeared, it was gone.
"Alright, Harry," Ron commented. He stood up and began inspecting the presents, clearly impatient with Harry's stillness.
Harry didn't say aloud that he could stare at those presents all day without opening them, marveling that he had any at all. Some days, Harry still had to pinch himself, terrified that if he didn't he might wake up back at the Dursleys. Harry caught a look from Sirius, and realized his face must have reflected his thoughts. He shook his head at Ron and reached out for a present.
"Since you're so impatient for me to open these, which one would you suggest first?" Harry asked Ron. Ron's hand hovered over the table as he turned an inquisitive look towards his mom. Harry frowned. A faint shake of her head directed Ron's roving hand away from an oddly shaped small package to a wrapped, flat package that looked suspiciously book sized.
"Can you guess who this is from?" Ron asked with a glint in his eye.
"Hermione?" Harry asked with a laugh. Hermione mock scowled at the both of them, took the present out of Ron's hand and handed it to Harry.
"Tried and true," she replied primly, but her eyes still laughed. Harry opened the gift. Hexes and Curses of Highly Effective Aurors: Creativity as an Ally against the Dark Arts the title read. Harry raised an eyebrow. Hermione nodded proudly. "I've never heard of a lot of those curses, but they sound wicked!" Hermione said enthusiastically, using a phrase Ron normally abused. Ron snorted. Harry opened the book randomly, his smile widening. "…causes complete paralysis, allowing only respiration and circulation to continue…" his eyes scanned and he looked again at Hermione. Oh my.
"Wow, thanks Hermione," Harry said, feeling empowered holding the book. If he felt confident with his curses since training for the Triwizard Tournament, then this would take him to a whole new level. "Where did you find this?" Harry asked. These spells seemed awfully powerful and advanced for a fifth year to purchase at Flourish and Blotts.
"Umm," Hermione said, blushing. Her eyes darted around her at the adults guiltily, then she leaned forward and whispered, "Gilderoy Lockhart needed some new books…"
"What do you mean?" Harry whispered back quickly.
"Well, it's not like his memory is reliable anymore. I mean, he *could* have ordered this for me… Besides, a lot of people still only know him through his books. They don't know about his... humm… condition," she said wryly, referring to the deflected memory erasing charms he'd tried to use on Harry, Ron, and Hermione that instead had erased his own memories… indefinitely. Harry knew his jaw dropped about a foot. With wide eyes he stared at his friend in surprise. Her blush began to rival ones Ron was capable of, but her expression indicated she was very pleased with herself. 'It was only a matter of time before the Hogwarts' library wouldn't contain her curiosity,' Harry realized, and hugged her. 'Oh course, for Hermione to find deep and true motivation to break rules, of course it would involve books.'
"What is it?" Sirius asked suspiciously, trying to spy the writing on the cover. Harry quickly whisked the book underneath his chair, then effectively blocked Sirius' vision by reaching for another present Ron was trying to hand him. He wished he'd contained his shock a little better. Now everyone was curious.
"101 Habits of Highly Effective Aurors," Harry lied smoothly, remembering a popular title from last year. He nudged Ron, who looked like he was about to correct him, and noticed the other adults nodding except for Remus and Sirius. Dumbledore didn't look fooled, either, but Harry wondered if there was anything that slipped past him. Either that, or he simply had the 'knowing' look down to a science. Harry nearly snorted. 'Where on Earth are these thoughts coming from?' Harry marveled. 'Don't let me open my mouth, or I'll end up as bad as Malfoy,' he thought, then paused. 'Okay, not as bad as Malfoy,' he amended, taking a small package out of Ron's hands.
The box was just slightly larger than a ring box. The wrapping was of tiny birthday cakes, their flames flickering. Harry looked up and saw Ron smiling broadly. Harry's eyebrows arched. 'From you?' his eyes asked. Ron nodded. Harry opened the box, and a miniature golden snitch flew out to hover next to Harry's head. It was about the size of a small rubber ball, and it sounded just a slightly higher pitch than a real snitch would. Harry watched as it began zipping about the room.
"It's a Mini Snitch, designed for Seekers who live in places where the weather is too bad to play in for long periods of time," Ron explained. Even as Harry listened, he couldn't help but follow the Mini Snitch's movements from place to place in the room with his peripheral vision. "It's smaller sized to let Seekers train to notice it, but it hovers and moves like a real snitch so you can catch it like normal. Only it's harder, of course, because it's so much smaller," Ron explained. The snitch was currently to the left of Ron's shoulder, just within reach… In a shot, Harry's hand shot out at he grasped the tiny ball in his fist with a grin. Ron jumped in surprise, and Fred and George hooted. "Bloody…" Ron said, then caught himself as Mrs. Weasley scowled. "You're kind of scary with that, you know?" Ron amended. Harry nearly beamed.
"I know," Harry replied with a smirk. "Thanks, Ron!" Harry said enthusiastically. Ron looked very pleased with himself, then smacked his forehead abruptly.
"Oh, and you can keep it active to remain only in a certain room, or to follow you around wherever you go," Ron added.
"Can you imagine Harry making a grab for that in Potions?" George asked, his face saying he was currently doing so. Harry felt his own face fall.
Hogwarts. How was he going to be able to go to school? Fifth year was less than a month away, and Harry knew the dreams would return. How was he going to be able to go up to Divinations (not that he really wanted to), or down to the Dungeons for Potions when he barely had the stamina to float around the Weasley's back yard? His thoughts seemed reflected by those around him as suddenly the room became uncomfortably silent.
His initial fears at the beginning of summer had been what it would be like to see where the maze had been, to see Cho again, knowing he was to blame for Cedric's death. The end of last year had been awful. Now… He needn't worry about that. Dumbledore cleared his throat and pointed to a shiny bright blue package.
"Perhaps that would do for Harry to open next," Dumbledore said. Ron silently lifted the package and handed it to Harry. The paper looked like see-through saran wrap, but when Harry pulled it open, there was indeed something inside. A tiny golden lapel pin of a stag, with flecks of emerald for each eye. Harry looked at it admiringly. Although he'd never worn jewelry before, the sentiment was keenly felt.
"Thank…" Harry said.
"Actually, that's no ordinary pin, Harry," Dumbledore interrupted before Harry could finish. "That is a portkey. It's been set to go to specific deserted classrooms within Hogwarts. The wards are all still in place," Dumbledore said reassuringly before anyone could ask, "But you will be able to travel to your classes with ease, rather than facing the moving staircases," he finished. Harry was astonished. He'd spent so much time trying to face his fear of leaving his friends and the only home he'd ever really known behind, that he didn't quite know what to say now that in one moment it had been alleviated. He knew his mouth was hanging open.
"I.." Harry said, but couldn't finish. Ron's smile was enormous, and Hermione was discretely trying to wipe her eyes. Ron glanced over at her, her head hanging low, frizzy hair falling all around to hide her face. He leaned into her and bumped her with his shoulder playfully. She laughed, but her voice trembled as she did so, and she sniffled loudly. Harry sighed. He always felt at a loss when she cried. Fred and George gave each other a 'high-five'… 'Now where would they learn that?' Harry wondered. That was a Muggle thing. Remus put a hand on Sirius' shoulder, and Harry realized Sirius' eyes were glistening, too. Apparently he'd been worried about the same thing. Harry knew his own face probably mirrored Sirius'. He couldn't have asked for a better gift.
"There are such things as handicapped wizards and witches. Some injuries cannot be healed by magic. Hogwarts is appropriately equipped to handle these special circumstances, although we haven't had a need for many years. Besides…" Dumbledore said with a mischievous grin, "I think there will be more than a few surprised students seeking solitude for reasons other than study purposes that need to be evicted from those rooms. You will be doing Hogwarts a favor." Harry happened to glance over at Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, who were both blushing furiously. Dumbledore looked over at them as well, and Mr. Weasley coughed uncomfortably.
"Wow, Harry…" Mr. Weasley squeeked. "Great gift, there." Ginny and Hermione both giggled as Dumbledore watched Mr. and Mrs. Weasley for a moment more. Dumbledore then turned a stern gaze on Sirius, who'd been snickering not-so-discretely.
"Yes, Mr. Black?" Dumbledore asked, and now it was Sirius who blushed. Remus had to cough to cover his laughter. Sirius scowled at him momentarily, then attempted an innocent look. He failed miserably.
"You'll have more to gossip about than Lavender," Hermione said to Harry, her eyes puffy but the tears thankfully abated. Harry shook his head bemusedly. The idea of walking in on people… It didn't sound too amusing to him. He refused to let his imagination go anywhere with that thought, or he knew he himself would be blushing in a moment.
"Open another present, Harry," Sirius stated, and Harry grinned at the not- so-subtle attempt to steer the conversation away from empty classrooms.
"Thank you, Headmaster," Harry said sincerely. His voice was solemn as he looked Dumbledore in the eyes. Words seemed inadequate to express his relief. Fawkes chirped quietly, breaking the tension. Dumbledore smiled warmly.
"What other presents do you have there?" Dumbledore asked, directing Harry's attention back to the table. Ron had picked up another suspicious book-sized package.
"Who's this from?" Ron asked.
"Remus and I," Sirius said.
"Are you sure it's not another one from you, Hermione?" Ron teased. Hermione tossed a napkin at Ron, which he deftly avoided while handing the package to Harry. Harry smiled at both men and quickly unwrapped the gift. Quiddich throught the Ages was the title, and the cover showed a game of Quiddich being played with brooms that looked like they belonged in the 1800s. Harry smiled gratefully.
"Open it," Sirius prompted. Harry did so, and the text on the inside of the book said something quite different. The Animagus in All of Us by Katrina Feral. Harry thumbed through it eagerly. Step by step instructions, no less, on becoming an Animagus. Ron had been reading over Harry's shoulder and nearly exclaimed his enthusiasm, if Harry hadn't kicked his chin discretely.
"Sometimes it's helpful that an opponent not know all ones capabilities," Remus said, his expression unreadable as he glanced at Sirius. Sirius' own expression spoke volumes.
"Thank you both," Harry said, grateful they were in his life. "A lot," he added, and they seemed to understand Harry's thanks was for more than the gift. Sirius nodded, and Remus smiled.
"Whoah," Ron said as he picked up an enormous box wrapped in fluorescent orange, pink and blue. Pictures of clowns ran across the paper throwing confetti, which was actually falling outside the present to collect in a now rather large pile on the Weasley table.
"And by those colors, I cannot fathom how you could not know who that is from," Ginny said ironically. Harry glanced up at her. She still stood in the corner, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed in front of her, a wry smile playing on her face as she watched the twins. They positively squirmed in glee. Harry laughed as he accepted the box, holding it gingerly away from his face.
"I don't know if it's wise to open it," Harry said, not entirely joking.
"Oh, go on," George said with a stern look reminiscent of Professor McGonagall.
"It's nothing bad," Fred promised. Harry looked him square in the eye for a moment, trying to gauge his sincerity. Nodding after a moment, Harry tore the paper open and lifted the lid on the box, suppressing a flinch. Nothing exploded. That was a good start. Peering inside, the box was filled with many smaller boxes, baubles and packets of all sizes and colors. Harry frowned as he glanced inquisitively at the twins.
"Samples, Harry. For our new joke shop. Consider yourself a beta tester. Each joke comes with instructions and even a suggestion or two for optimal results," George said proudly. Hermione's mouth now hung open in surprise.
"Beta? Optimal? Okay, you're scaring me," Hermione joked with the twins. They smiled broadly.
"We take jokes very seriously," George said. Fred nodded solemnly. Harry knew the Triwizard winnings couldn't have been better spent.
"It looks like there is only one more," Ron said, picking up the odd shaped package he'd nearly grabbed first. Ron handed it to Harry solemnly, and Harry glanced around as the rest of the Weasley clan approached closer to the table.
"Open it, Harry," Ginny said with a smile. Harry did so. It was a small vase. Harry peered inside and saw…
"Floo powder?" Harry asked. The Weasleys were nodding.
"Actually, follow me," Ron said, grabbing Harry's elbow enthusiastically. Harry winced in pain as Ron's fingers pressed into the injury Pettigrew gave him. Ron's hands pulled back quickly, his eyes dark with sympathy. "Sorry, mate," Ron said, then grabbed Harry's sleeve. "Come on!" He said and bounded up the stairs. Harry followed more slowly. Everyone else in the room stood up and followed as well. Ron was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet at Percy's door, hand on the door handle, waiting for Harry. Harry held his arm close and had to fight the urge to press the crook of his elbow. It burned. Damn Pettigrew, anyway. As Harry walked up to Ron, Ron looked over his shoulder as if waiting for a cue. Nodding when apparently he received one, Ron threw the door wide open. Percy's room was… different.
Harry had seen Percy's room before. It was meticulously clean, with a shelf for all his school books. Pictures of his family decorated his wall in a mural style Martha Stewart would be proud of (Aunt Petunia owned every single one of her books). Percy had only a couple of posters that were mainly of wizarding authors Harry had never heard of. A few trophies had sat on Percy's desk that Harry never had the chance to see what he had gotten them for.
But Percy's room looked totally different now. Splashed across every wall were Quiddich posters of all the currently popular teams. The bed, normally so flat and sterile looking with white sheets and a brown woolen blanket, was now covered with a down filled duvet comforter, and a quilt Mrs. Weasley must have made. The walls, once tame and mellow, were bright Gryffindor colors. Harry's trunk lay at the foot of the bed, along with Hedwig's cage. Harry felt a chill run down his back as he stared in shock at what the Weasleys seemed to be showing him.
"The floo powder is our version of a house key, Harry," Mr. Weasley said from behind, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder. His voice was low with emotion.
"You know mum's already practically adopted you," Ron said, nodding his head in the room. Harry stepped inside, his legs feeling jerky as he looked around him.
"Percy moved out a while ago, you know," Ginny nearly had to yell from behind the twins. Comically, she was leaping to catch glimpses of what was going on from over Fred and George's shoulders.
"It's the best this room has looked in a long time!" Fred said enthusiastically. George nodded.
"We know you'll want to stay with Sirius when he's cleared, Harry. But that doesn't mean we can't offer you a home in the meantime," Mrs. Weasley said, her voice alternating in pitch oddly as she tried to keep from crying. "The floo powder is so you know you will always have a place here," she said solemnly. Ron watched Harry with an intense expression on his face, his eyes searching Harry's. Harry knew tears now did flow down his face.
"Oh, give him a hug!" Fred said, his own voice suspiciously tremulous as he tried to mock the moment. Ron crossed the room in a heartbeat, grabbing Harry up in a big hug.
"Now I'm not the only target in this house for Fred and George's antics!" Ron said, letting go of Harry abruptly, eager for the awkwardness to quickly pass.
"What about Ginny? Don't they play tricks on her?" Harry asked, grateful for the light banter to allow him to recover.
"I think they're afraid of her. It must have something to do with her being the youngest and able to get away with anything," Ron replied with a snort. Harry glanced at Ginny in surprise. She had finally shouldered the twins to the side and stood proudly next to her mom. The quirk of the side of her mouth and the knowing nod indicated she agreed with Ron. Harry had a hard time imagining the twins thinking twice before pulling pranks on anyone. Although he knew it was only a matter of time before they felt that way about Sirius. He still hadn't told them about the Marauders. Harry had to admit it was too much fun to watch them plot and scheme, knowing they didn't stand a chance against Sirius.
A room of his own. A normal room, with posters and… He could put things on the walls. He could keep his trunk out. He could sit with Hedwig and not worry about anyone seeing her. He could do homework whenever he wanted. A gift like this was too much.
Harry took in the sight of the Weasleys standing around him expectantly. Fred and George were grinning broadly, as was Ginny. Mrs. Weasley was sobbing openly, and Harry let her grab him up in a crushing bear hug that Harry speculated could have rivaled one of Hagrids. She held him close, and Harry closed his eyes, letting himself be held, comforted. In his heart he knew there was no refusing this gift. He just prayed they didn't live to regret it.
Harry glanced over at Mr. Weasley as Mrs. Weasley finally let him go, absentmindedly trying to straighten his hair. His face held a strange expression. Harry almost thought he read guilt there, along with affection and pride. Harry realized that although he was fond of Mr. Weasley, he didn't know him that well. The look in Mr. Weasley's eyes was the most candid Harry had ever seen them. It wasn't the eyes of a man bemusedly fond of his son's best friend. This was the expression of a man who cared for Harry. Who wanted to see Harry happy and healthy. Much to Mr. Weasley's surprise, Harry hugged him as well. He seemed stiff for a moment, then pulled Harry close, thumping his back soundly.
"You don't ever have to go back to them. You hear me?" Mr. Weasley whispered quietly in Harry's ear before letting him go. "Your place is here," he said solemnly. Harry nodded. The 'Awwws' coming from the twins was finally too much. Harry hugged them both, much to their embarrassment, then Ginny as well. She blushed furiously as she stepped away, her eyes suspiciously watery, but didn't say anything. Harry suspected her composure might crack if she did.
"Well, enough of this! I say let's have more cake!"
"Agreed. But before Harry joins you, I'd like to have a word in private with him," Dumbledore said. Harry watched as everyone headed downstairs. Sirius and Remus both kept looking over their shoulders as they left, clearly not wanting to do so. Sirius especially seemed keen not to let Harry out of his sight. Dumbledore closed the door and gestured for Harry to sit on the bed. "There are a few things we must discuss," Dumbledore said, his face solemn. Harry shifted uncomfortably. This didn't sound good.