A/N: Didn't take the time this time to answer the reviewers. Sorry, but I'm getting lazy now. =)
Gorged, messy pigs dressed in human clothes. Wispy black spirits wandering the streets. Fluttering panic beating against her ribs. Night slowly beckoning her loss. Brightlights and tacky colors loitering the shops.
Then Sen woke up. Quick, shallow gasps racked her throat as cold sweat beaded her face. Clutching the blanket, she squeezed her eyes shut, muttering, "Only a nightmare, it's only a nightmare."
But why did her nightmare feel more like a memory?
Her cell suddenly shrilled and Sen sat up on her bed, wiping her face with the blanket. Picking up the phone, she rasped, "What."
"Phoenix HQ wants you to capture to free spirit. This is the first time in years since they've been able to get their hands upon an untainted one. Don't mess this up, Sen. This could mean a major breakthrough with research quarters."
"Whatever, Daiyu. I don't tell you how to do your job, so don't tell me how to do mine," she snapped and tossed her phone to the floor.
Lifting her eyes, Sen noticed a man blocking her doorway, looking at her with those eyes she hated.
"What is it, oji-san."
In a short second, he crossed the room and slapped her face, pain stinging as she spat out the blood pooling in her mouth.
"Ungrateful ass. I specifically ordered that you make rice everytime we run low. Is that such a hard thing for a stupid bitch like you to understand?" Each insult followed a blow at her head and she grit her teeth, holding in her retorts. His breath reeked of alcohol and pain glittered into her skull as he pulled her hair, tossing her onto the floor like a rag doll.
Holding her head, she yelled, "I'm not your fuckin' maid, you asshole. God dammit, if you wanted some rice, then make them yourself instead of taking your drunken ass and blaming me for something so fucking retarded like that!"
He smiled in a way that sent chills down her body, threatening to close her throat and suffocate all her breath out. A heavy kick punched her side and she clutched it out of reflex, trying to hold in her cry of pain. Iron-like hands gripped her wrists, pinning her to the floor, her face only inches away from his.
"I love it when you get feisty like that," he murmured as he pressed his hard lower body upon her struggling body.
'No, no, no, no, no!' She cried inwardly. Tears washed down the corner of her eyes; she hated being weak, being female. More blood filled her mouth as he bit down her lip and his tongue drove into her mouth.
"Don't forget who brought you back into this world, Sen. Don't forget, without us, you are nothing," he murmured as his hand moved under her clothes.
Sen was practically sobbing now, but it was true. This was her life and nothing she did could change that. With a half-crazed, watery laugh, she surrendered to his grubby touches like she always had for as long as she could remember. She no longer felt him push inside her, bruising her as he pleasured himself, as he groaned when he emptied himself within her, as he flipped her over and began the ordeal again, because she was lost in her own world, one that took her far away from the present, from the life she knew she could not escape.
------------------------
Sen carefully observed her face in the mirror of the school's restroom. The wonder of makeup; the foundation covered up the shallow bruises and the heavier ones were hidden behind her hair since she let it down today. The beads clicked against each other as her glittery pink band hung loosely around her wrist as well.
"Well, I thought I'd never see _you_ worry over your looks," chirped Chinatsu from behind her. She arched her brows devilishly. "Maybe a certain boy has caught your eye...?"
Snorting, Sen said, "Don't even joke about it. What happened last night was a mistake. A blunder from the result of alcohol, nothing more."
Chinatsu pursed her lips doubtfully, but said nothing. Shrugging, she said, "By the way, Nushi-san is looking for you." A thoughtful look graced her features. "He said he'll be at the library and said something about a project you guys had to do."
Mentally smacking herself on the head, Sen grinned thanks and hurried out the restroom. Walking down the empty hallway save for a few lingering students, she made her way into the library and searched the premise for that damn messy hair of his. Plopping down at the table he was at, she raised her brows at the books surrounding him.
"Took you a while. I borrowed the books we need for the project and..." Nigihayami stopped.
Sen looked at him with inquiring eyes.
In a quieter tone, he asked, "Who did it."
"Huh?"
Grabbing her arm, Nigihayami dragged her outside the library until they were outdoors where no one was seen.
His words hissed out, "Don't play dumb with me Sen. Who did this to you?" He pulled up the sleeve of her uniform, revealing dark bruises decorating her arm. He pushed back her hair and Sen knew he saw the bruises on her face as well. Her heart thudded against her chest as he wiped away the makeup hiding the other bruises.
Throat dry, she finally pushed him away, panic overflowing her senses. "I'm just clumsy, that's all." Gathering her frayed nerves, she muttered, "What does it matter to you, anyway?"
Nigihayami practically roared in her ears as he shook her shoulders. "Don't be stupid, Chihiro! Tell me who the fuck messed you up last night because I can't stand to see you suffering!"
Silence weighed heavily between them, and after many agonizing minutes, Nigihayami asked, "Don't you remember, Chihiro? Don't you remember anything?"
Pushing him away, Sen yelled, "Stop that! Just... stop! I am not Chihiro, I am Sen. SEN. Get that fact through your thick head first and stop trying to make me remember things when I can't! My life is none of your concern no matter who you think I am and even if it was, you can't do anything to change it! This is what I have to live with, this is what I was born to. You can't change it." Tears trailed down her face, frustration and anger overwhelming her usually coldly hidden feelings.
Warm arms embraced her and she heard his voice calmly soothe her. "It's okay, it's okay."
"No it's not!" she cried as she struggled against his arms. "I hate being female, I hate following their orders, I hate being indebted to them, I hate killing, I hate it all!" Unable to escape, she finally sobbed bitterly into his uniform. "You can't... change it..."
Feeling him cover her hand, she looked up to his face, and was surprised to see pain and anguish swimming in his green eyes. "I know I can't expect you to remember, I know I can't erase what happened to you all these years, but Chihiro... can't you at least understand how much it hurts me to see you hurt?"
A feeling she never felt before fluttered in her veins, confusing her. "Stop it... just stop. I'm not this Chihiro you keep talking about and it doesn't help when-"
Her words were interrupted as Nigihayami kissed her. It was a soft, gentle kiss, full of emotion, and sincere. It was a kiss Sen had never experienced, but was not all together unpleasant. It was a kiss that brought new tears to her eyes because it was a kiss that told her that he loved her, an emotion Sen knew she could never handle.
She continued to cry because it was a kiss that spoke of a future she knew she could never have.
"I'm... not her..."
A/N: Yes, finally a chapter is released. Think of this as my Christmas present to you. I'm sorry for the long update, but with all these hectic classes, I don't even have weekends off. Review plz, and Merry Christmas to all!
Gorged, messy pigs dressed in human clothes. Wispy black spirits wandering the streets. Fluttering panic beating against her ribs. Night slowly beckoning her loss. Brightlights and tacky colors loitering the shops.
Then Sen woke up. Quick, shallow gasps racked her throat as cold sweat beaded her face. Clutching the blanket, she squeezed her eyes shut, muttering, "Only a nightmare, it's only a nightmare."
But why did her nightmare feel more like a memory?
Her cell suddenly shrilled and Sen sat up on her bed, wiping her face with the blanket. Picking up the phone, she rasped, "What."
"Phoenix HQ wants you to capture to free spirit. This is the first time in years since they've been able to get their hands upon an untainted one. Don't mess this up, Sen. This could mean a major breakthrough with research quarters."
"Whatever, Daiyu. I don't tell you how to do your job, so don't tell me how to do mine," she snapped and tossed her phone to the floor.
Lifting her eyes, Sen noticed a man blocking her doorway, looking at her with those eyes she hated.
"What is it, oji-san."
In a short second, he crossed the room and slapped her face, pain stinging as she spat out the blood pooling in her mouth.
"Ungrateful ass. I specifically ordered that you make rice everytime we run low. Is that such a hard thing for a stupid bitch like you to understand?" Each insult followed a blow at her head and she grit her teeth, holding in her retorts. His breath reeked of alcohol and pain glittered into her skull as he pulled her hair, tossing her onto the floor like a rag doll.
Holding her head, she yelled, "I'm not your fuckin' maid, you asshole. God dammit, if you wanted some rice, then make them yourself instead of taking your drunken ass and blaming me for something so fucking retarded like that!"
He smiled in a way that sent chills down her body, threatening to close her throat and suffocate all her breath out. A heavy kick punched her side and she clutched it out of reflex, trying to hold in her cry of pain. Iron-like hands gripped her wrists, pinning her to the floor, her face only inches away from his.
"I love it when you get feisty like that," he murmured as he pressed his hard lower body upon her struggling body.
'No, no, no, no, no!' She cried inwardly. Tears washed down the corner of her eyes; she hated being weak, being female. More blood filled her mouth as he bit down her lip and his tongue drove into her mouth.
"Don't forget who brought you back into this world, Sen. Don't forget, without us, you are nothing," he murmured as his hand moved under her clothes.
Sen was practically sobbing now, but it was true. This was her life and nothing she did could change that. With a half-crazed, watery laugh, she surrendered to his grubby touches like she always had for as long as she could remember. She no longer felt him push inside her, bruising her as he pleasured himself, as he groaned when he emptied himself within her, as he flipped her over and began the ordeal again, because she was lost in her own world, one that took her far away from the present, from the life she knew she could not escape.
------------------------
Sen carefully observed her face in the mirror of the school's restroom. The wonder of makeup; the foundation covered up the shallow bruises and the heavier ones were hidden behind her hair since she let it down today. The beads clicked against each other as her glittery pink band hung loosely around her wrist as well.
"Well, I thought I'd never see _you_ worry over your looks," chirped Chinatsu from behind her. She arched her brows devilishly. "Maybe a certain boy has caught your eye...?"
Snorting, Sen said, "Don't even joke about it. What happened last night was a mistake. A blunder from the result of alcohol, nothing more."
Chinatsu pursed her lips doubtfully, but said nothing. Shrugging, she said, "By the way, Nushi-san is looking for you." A thoughtful look graced her features. "He said he'll be at the library and said something about a project you guys had to do."
Mentally smacking herself on the head, Sen grinned thanks and hurried out the restroom. Walking down the empty hallway save for a few lingering students, she made her way into the library and searched the premise for that damn messy hair of his. Plopping down at the table he was at, she raised her brows at the books surrounding him.
"Took you a while. I borrowed the books we need for the project and..." Nigihayami stopped.
Sen looked at him with inquiring eyes.
In a quieter tone, he asked, "Who did it."
"Huh?"
Grabbing her arm, Nigihayami dragged her outside the library until they were outdoors where no one was seen.
His words hissed out, "Don't play dumb with me Sen. Who did this to you?" He pulled up the sleeve of her uniform, revealing dark bruises decorating her arm. He pushed back her hair and Sen knew he saw the bruises on her face as well. Her heart thudded against her chest as he wiped away the makeup hiding the other bruises.
Throat dry, she finally pushed him away, panic overflowing her senses. "I'm just clumsy, that's all." Gathering her frayed nerves, she muttered, "What does it matter to you, anyway?"
Nigihayami practically roared in her ears as he shook her shoulders. "Don't be stupid, Chihiro! Tell me who the fuck messed you up last night because I can't stand to see you suffering!"
Silence weighed heavily between them, and after many agonizing minutes, Nigihayami asked, "Don't you remember, Chihiro? Don't you remember anything?"
Pushing him away, Sen yelled, "Stop that! Just... stop! I am not Chihiro, I am Sen. SEN. Get that fact through your thick head first and stop trying to make me remember things when I can't! My life is none of your concern no matter who you think I am and even if it was, you can't do anything to change it! This is what I have to live with, this is what I was born to. You can't change it." Tears trailed down her face, frustration and anger overwhelming her usually coldly hidden feelings.
Warm arms embraced her and she heard his voice calmly soothe her. "It's okay, it's okay."
"No it's not!" she cried as she struggled against his arms. "I hate being female, I hate following their orders, I hate being indebted to them, I hate killing, I hate it all!" Unable to escape, she finally sobbed bitterly into his uniform. "You can't... change it..."
Feeling him cover her hand, she looked up to his face, and was surprised to see pain and anguish swimming in his green eyes. "I know I can't expect you to remember, I know I can't erase what happened to you all these years, but Chihiro... can't you at least understand how much it hurts me to see you hurt?"
A feeling she never felt before fluttered in her veins, confusing her. "Stop it... just stop. I'm not this Chihiro you keep talking about and it doesn't help when-"
Her words were interrupted as Nigihayami kissed her. It was a soft, gentle kiss, full of emotion, and sincere. It was a kiss Sen had never experienced, but was not all together unpleasant. It was a kiss that brought new tears to her eyes because it was a kiss that told her that he loved her, an emotion Sen knew she could never handle.
She continued to cry because it was a kiss that spoke of a future she knew she could never have.
"I'm... not her..."
A/N: Yes, finally a chapter is released. Think of this as my Christmas present to you. I'm sorry for the long update, but with all these hectic classes, I don't even have weekends off. Review plz, and Merry Christmas to all!