Disclaimer: I have this sneaking suspicion that you all know I don't own anything.
Author's Note: I'm still on spring break so that's why this has taken so long. I'm terribly sorry this took so long but I hope the wait was worth while. The next chapter should be fun for me to write you finally get to find out what I've been hinting about with Ben. No more speculation, you'll know the cold hard truth. Yay! ::evil grin:: it might take me a while to write it though since I'm on break. Isn't that horrible of me? I tell you this big thing is coming up when I know that I probably won't get the chance to update for awhile. Bad me.
Review, it might make me work faster.
Comin' to Get You
Chapter 9: Can we talk?
Max curled around herself, her knees drawn to her chest and her arms hugging them to her. Tangled clumps of hair fell around her like a curtain to cut off the dim light of street lamps that came through her apartment window. She buried her face in the crook of her knees and sobbed hard enough to shake her body. She shook and sobbed and salty tears flowed down her cheeks in torrents and all she could think was that this is not what a soldier is supposed to do.
Alec watched her quietly, trying to ignore the sobs that he heard being wrenched from her throat. He'd followed her for half an hour until she had fallen into a heap on the floor of her apartment. He waited now for some of the storm to abate, knowing that she wouldn't want him, of all people, to see her like this. He didn't even know why he had come, he knew full well that he was the last person she'd want to see, even if she wasn't heart broken.
The look on her face, though, when Jondy had told her about Logan had ripped his heart open. He had blindly followed Jondy's request to go after her, but now that he stood there watching her he had time to think. The chances were that Max would beat him senseless if he walked in then, but maybe that was just what she needed. Anger was the best cure for despair and he could get her angrier than anyone else in the world.
With a deep breath he walked over to her and placed one tentative hand on her hair. She turned to him blindly, tears still clouding her eyes, and clutched at him. She buried her face into the crook of his neck before he had time to react. He sat there with her arms wrapped around him as though he was her lifeline and had no idea what he should do next.
His arms came up slowly to wrap around her back and pull her in closer to him. She sobbed something unintelligible and he shushed her softly. "It's all right, Maxie, shh." She smelled of lilacs and motor oil, and he thought dully that there was no other woman who could pull that scent off. "I'll be all right."
She didn't seem inclined to talk so he sat there holding her and waiting for the floodgates to close, waiting for her to chew him out for following her and seeing her like this. He was at a lose; he didn't know the first thing about emotions much less the type that had a girl blubbering on his shoulder. Should he ask her to talk about it? Should he mummer into her hair lies of how everything would be all right with her and Logan? Should he tell her the truth that Logan was never worthy of her to begin with? Should he sit there quietly and just hold her?
The last won out for the simple fact that he didn't know what else to do. So she sobbed and he patted. It seemed like hours before she pulled away from him wiping at her nose with the back of her hand looking like a child. He wanted to hug her again but thought better of it.
She stared at him now, as though she hadn't realized whom it was that had held her. He thought it was very likely that all she had known was she needed to be held and someone was there.
He looked at her quietly his blue eyes taking in her wide brown eyes made red from crying the flushed rose of her dark cheeks and the halo of tangled brown hair. He thought simply that even now she was magnificent and it occurred to him to wonder how Logan could settle for anything less. For a squeak toy, he thought, and had to stifle the snort that threatened.
Not sure of his welcome he slowly lifted a hand to brush tangles off her forehead, she didn't move away but for a painful second he though she was going to flinch. He wanted to tell her that Logan was a lunatic, that she was beautiful, that if she wanted he would kill Logan and Asha both but all that came out of his hand made lips was a simple and heartfelt, "I'm sorry."
A bitter laugh escaped through a sneer but her eyes were flat, "it's not like you didn't warn me."
"Max, I…"
"I apparently was made to be a chump."
"You're human." He said it softly, quietly, and she almost didn't hear it over the pounding of her own blood. She stared at him with eyes gone wide, "Last time I checked broken hearts came with the territory."
"Why couldn't he have told me?" She wailed; all the training of a soldier flying out the window at the pain that was a dull throb deep in her chest. "He was supposed to love me."
"I think he did," he swallowed bitterly with the thought that Logan had never deserved the loyalty that Max had given him. "He's human too, though."
She growled deep in her throat, "are you on his side?"
Alec just shook his head, and tugged gently at her arm until she let him drag her in closer to place her head on his shoulder. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. It's not like I've ever had to comfort someone before."
"We weren't taught to handle emotion," the words were thick and he worried that she was going to start crying again. "It's why it hurts so much," she confided wondering for the life of her why she was telling this to Alec of all people. She should be screaming at him now for seeing her like this, but she couldn't bring herself to push him away.
"What do you mean?"
"I never let anyone in before. He forced his way in, took a sledge hammer to me until I couldn't see straight but I let him." She bit her lip as she blinked scratchy eyes down at her hands, that rested peacefully in her lap. "This is the result."
"No one ever said love was easy."
"What if it wasn't love…it couldn't have been if he's with Asha," she turned to him with eyebrows pulled together thoughtfully. "If it wasn't love than this pain is for nothing. It's worthless, but I can't just make it go away."
"It isn't worthless, Max." He smirked down at her, "I'm not too sure what it's good for but I don't think it's worthless. Maybe you have to look at it as a way of gauging…"
"Gauging what?" She was not too lost in her own self pity to be annoyed with him.
"How good it was at times." She wasn't annoyed anymore when she looked up at him. She had never seen Alec when he was being compassionate…that wasn't true. She had seen his compassion but had always blown it off, never looking at it for what it was worth.
"I want to wallow," she said with a pout and let her head drop into her hands. "Not have philosophical conversations."
"I have feeling that Jondy and Zane would know how to cheer you up better than I would." There was a soft twang in his chest when she looked up at him with a pained smile. "Come on. Let's go over there and Jondy can amuse you with her ability to make Zane's head spin."
"She does seem very good at that."
"Max, she's good at that with anyone she comes across. Zane just enjoys it more than anyone else."
~*~
"I never said that!" Jondy shook her head as they made their way to the apartment.
"Yes, you did."
"No, I didn't."
"I heard you, J, you said he was 'more than your brother.'"
"I said he 'wasn't just my brother.' If you'd pay attention you would have remembered that." She smiled at him wickedly and swung her hair over her shoulder with a flourish.
"What's the difference?" He threw his hands up in the air and wondered if he should be counting backwards from ten. He knew the only reason he was angry was that to him it was an important question, but to her, like most things, it wasn't. So he gritted his teeth in a smile.
Her hands started moving before her mouth did, fluttering in the air as she looked for words. "To say he is more that my brother cheapens the bond of two siblings, to say he isn't just my brother implies that both things that he had managed to be are equally important." She gloated when he had to nod his head in agreement to her logic.
He had to grumble at the way her logic, though twisted to everyone else, was perfectly acceptable to her. The problem, though, was it had a tendency to hit its mark even for the people that it confused. He watched for a long time as they walked her looking back at him with wide understanding eyes. She knew exactly the effect her logic had on the unsuspecting. "So than what did you mean when you said he wasn't just your brother," Zane finally asked when their apartment came into view.
"Why do you care?" She asked wiggling her eyebrows at him playfully.
"I just do."
"You can't 'just do,' ya gotta have a reason, Z."
"No, I don't."
"Yes…you do."
"I just want to know what you meant. Its not like it's supposed to be a secret, is it?"
Her smile widened slowly and he had the sudden urge to curse the large dose of feline DNA that the scientists back at Manticore had thrown into their cocktails. She was entirely too much like a cat. "Maybe, my darling Zane, it is."
His eyes narrowed as he opened the door to their apartment and held it open for her. "Why would you keep it a secret," his stomach dropped painfully to his knees.
"Cause secret are fun."
"No they're not."
"Oh, yes they are." He was starting to see a pattern forming for the night so dropped it. She patted her knee and whistled softly grinning wildly as Sasha bounded through the living room toward her. "There's my baby!"
"She's my baby," Zane exclaimed scratching at Sasha's ears happily.
"How about she's our baby?" Jondy asked sweetly, looking up at him with round eyes as she got down on her knees to hug Sasha to her. "None of us love you enough, do we?" she asked tousling her hair.
"I guess she can be ours as long as we live together."
"So then I guess we should live together forever, huh?" She bit her tongue with a wide grin that could have been a smirk.
Zane blinked as he watched her play with his dog, her face lit up with the simple pleasure of soft fur and a lolling tongue. "I don't think I would complain," he said seriously.
Jondy froze for one heartbeat before she went back to playing with Sasha; she turned to him with a soft smile. "It wouldn't be a hardship for me either." Then she was smiling again, laughing as Sasha licked at her chin and wagged her tail hard enough to knock her off the balls of her feet.
"So what did you mean?" He pursued, kneeling down next to where she had been knocked back on her rump.
She sighed and rolled her eyes, "I just can't turn your mind, can I?"
He smiled, "nope."
She turned to him with eyes as blue a lightening bolts, "He wasn't just my brother because he was also my best friend. For Christ's sake I got my tattoo with the boy, we had comfort systems worked out."
"Comfort systems?" Zane asked with a raised eyebrow, puzzling out what exactly a comfort system was.
"When Zack came around he could let loose and tell me all the things that bothered him while he was making his rounds…things he couldn't tell anyone else because there really wasn't anyone else. I would tell him what problems I'd had while he was away. We would both then make each other feel better about all the crap we had to muddle through. Comfort systems."
Zane let his butt connect with the floor next to hers as he looked at her with green eyes gone wide. His mouth moved for a full minute before sound came out. "Zack actually told you the things that bothered him?" It had never really occurred to him that Zack, their overly protective and demanding brother had actually told anyone what made him tick. That it was Jondy was both a reason for soft joy and a dull ache. "What was the system?"
"He liked to brush my hair and I like to have my hair brushed," she smiled at him as her eyes glazed over slightly. "It's been forever since I've had my hair brushed."
Zane had to swallow past the large lump that had suddenly formed in his throat, "I'm no Zack, or anything, but if you want I would love to brush it for you."
She smiled and he thought his heart would burst, "Anytime, love, any—"
The door to their apartment opened with a thud and Jondy looked up into Alec's smirking face and Max's sad one. "Hi, mind if we bother you?" Alec asked closing the door behind him.
"Not at all, make yourself at home," Zane growled before getting onto his feet. He threw and arm over Max and gave her a soft squeeze, "you ok, little sister?"
She nodded her head, but the red of her eyes spoke differently, "I just need some cheering up."
"I can do that!" Jondy called from the floor where she was rolling with the dog and Alec. Sasha was in doggy heaven as they both wrestled with her. "Better yet, let Sasha lick you. Doggy slobber can cure all that ails you, promise."
"Thanks anyway," Max could feel the glimmer of a smile and wondered at her sister's ability to deal with emotions. She was a torrent of them, a force of nature that didn't hold anything back and Max envied her.
"Aw, come on, Max." Alec call was loud as he wrapped his arms around Sasha's neck. "She'd love to get some slobber on you."
"You'd think with our upbringing we'd all be terrified of her," Zane mussed quietly as he smiled down at them.
Max blinked and turned to him, "you're right."
"Zack used to be," Jondy said quietly as she and Alec mad kiss-y faces at the dog.
"Not possible," Max said letting a laugh flow out of her throat, and enjoyed the feeling of it.
"Trust her," Zane said with a smirk, "she'd know."
"He got over it of course, he had a staring contest with Sasha here until she rolled onto her back for him to scratch her belly."
"Won over by the big brown eyes I bet," Alec said looking straight at Max.
"I'm tellin' you it's the slobber," Jondy said with a laugh.
"I've been meaning to ask you…" Max started and made her way over to the couch as she felt three pairs of eyes on her. "What did you mean when you said Zack was more than a brother."
Zane sighed and dropped his head into his hands and Jondy let a wicked smile stretch her lips, "I never said that."
"Yes, you did."
"No, I didn't."
"I heard you, Jondy, you said he was 'more than your brother.'"
"I said he 'wasn't just my brother.' If you'd pay attention you would have remembered that." She smiled at her, blue eyes flicking over to Zane as she swung her hair over her shoulder with a flourish.
"What's the difference?"
Zane waved his hands in the air before Jondy could go on, "She doesn't want to imply that what she has with Zack is better than him being her brother."
"I take it this has already happened with you," Alec said with a smirk.
"Oh," Max looked mollified for a second before catching Jondy's eye again, "so what do you have with Zack?"
"Why do you care?" She asked, smirking in triumph at Zane's failed attempt to not repeat history.
"I just do."
"You can't 'just do,' ya gotta have a reason, Maxie."
"No, I don't."
"Yes…you do."
Zane jumped up and waved his hands again, "he's her best friend!" He turned wide eyes on Jondy who was too busy laughing at him to see the pillow he hurled at her. It bounced off her head and the satisfying 'oof' had him grinning at her.
"That's good," Max said as Alec watched with a critical eye. He seemed just on the edge of bursting out with laughter.
"What's good?"
"That he was your best friend, I was kind of worried."
This had her blinking, "worried about what?"
"That you and Zack might have something more than friendship."
"We didn't, but why would that worry you?"
"It would be sick…" Zane choked and Jondy's eyes bulged.