Tell Me the Truth (Steffany Gretzinger)

Brittany's POV

She was lying to me, I could see it in her eyes, and it was killing me to watch her do it, but I didn't want to fight with her.

I hadn't been home long enough, and there was way too much that I didn't know, so I had to be patient.

The truth will out.

Ari always said to me that if I pushed Ana too hard, she'd hide behind her walls, so I had to play it Ari's way.

Wait her out.

So when she agreed not to go to Al Motta again, I gave her a super kiss before skipping off to the closet, much like I used to when I was more naïve.

But I'd grown up.

I knew better.

After getting a suite reserved at Wrigley for the next day, I stood in the closet, trying to gather my thoughts.

My hands itched to search the drawers or maybe her office, but instead, I pulled out a cute outfit and then headed into the shower.

She asked to sleep a little longer because I'd worn her out, which was more than okay. It'd been over a year since I'd showered alone, so I savored being away from watchful eyes.

When I stepped out from the steam, smelling amazing and feeling cleaner than I had in a while, I felt calmer.

Ana was sitting on the toilet, staring at her phone screen and didn't look up right away.

I took my time brushing my teeth, and then I ran a brush through my hair until there weren't any more tangles.

She grinned at me in the mirror as she washed and dried her hands, and I couldn't get over how fucking gorgeous she was.

Or the fact that she was still mine.

Her cool hands slipped around my waist, and her chin rested on my shoulder.

"Hey, Baby." I smiled at her even though I could still see the secretive look in her eyes.

"You don't believe me." She whispered, and I remembered then that she knew my eyes too. "I'm an open book, B."

"My life paused when I went to jail, you'd just done some really sneaky stuff, and all I know is that you should still be broke. There is no way that we should be standing in this beautiful house, but somehow we are. I'm not complaining, but it will take time for me to believe it."

"What do you need? Receipts? You could talk to Walker or my accountant. Maybe you can talk to my probation officer?"

"Are you still on that?"

"Yeah. There's a lot that I have to account for to everyone, and nobody on this planet should know more about me than you. So ask, and I'll do my best to answer the best way I can, and if I am having trouble, I will show you instead."

"How about I just shadow you for a few days?'

"Shadow me?"

"Yeah, you weren't expecting me, so move about like I'm not here. I want to see what your life is like now so that I know how I fit."

"You're kidding, right? You should already feel like you fit in."

"Things changed a whole lot since I went away, so it's going to take me a minute to adjust. I need this, please?"

"Why?"

She let me go and stood there with her hip pressed to the sink while she looked up at me.

"Because in the past, when we've been apart, I've come back trying to run things or make you fit into some box that I've built for you. This time, I just want to do whatever you do, even if it makes me uncomfortable."

"Are you sure? What about the game or having that talk with Isaac?"

"He just got here too, I'll give him a day to get settled, and tomorrow we'll talk. I got us a suite for tomorrow afternoon. For today I just want to be here with you. Is that okay?"

"More than okay."

"Good. So, it's Saturday morning. What would you be doing right now?"

She looked at her watch and then smiled up at me.

"Pancakes."

"Okay, well, let's go then."

She seemed nervous when I suggested it, but now I could see that she was a little excited.

Good.

It would be easier to wait her out this way.

I followed her into the kitchen, and she handed me a bowl before pulling out her own mix of pancake flour that had special seasonings that only she and Ari knew.

They'd perfected their pancakes together, although Ari's were a touch better than Ana's, I knew I'd never have those again.

Ana poured the flour into the bowl before handing me a whisk, "Hold this."

Then I watched her go to the intercom and whisper, before turning to grin at me.

Moments later Dani came into the kitchen looking bright-eyed, and excited.

"Morning, Mama. How did you sleep?" She asked me, as she hugged my leg.

"Good, Dani. How did you sleep?"

"Awesome, Norah has a boyfriend. Can I have one?"

I looked over at Ana, who was glaring.

"You're 7. No boys until you're 15."

"No fair!" Dani used to stomp her feet and give attitude but instead, she rolled her eyes and grabbed the milk, climbing onto a stool next to me.

I watched as she poured it in by eye, before nudging me. "Huh?" I muttered.

"Stir it, Mama."

"When did you get so big?"

"Since always, I won't stop growing until I die." She said flatly, sounding way too much like Ana.

My wife was so chipper as she sipped her tea.

TEA.

"You hate tea." I blurted out, and my wife looked into her cup and then back at me.

"I don't drink much coffee anymore."

"Since when?" Who was she? Coffee was a part of her personality.

"Since my overdose, I try not to have too many stimulants. Smoking has been the hardest to kick, but I've been without cigarettes for a month now."

"Wow."

"Okay, stop please." Dani barked at me, before taking the bowl back. When she saw my face, and how startled she made me, she grinned at me before adding more flour and stirring it herself.

"Can I help?" Quinn said from behind me.

When I turned around, I could see that she'd been up for a while.

She'd completely showered and dressed, looking like she was going to the country club instead of just lounging around the house.

"You can make the coffee, I need some." I said as I watched Dani flip a pancake like a pro.

"Are you okay, B?" Ana stood beside me now, running her long nails over my bicep.

For years she'd been getting simple gel manicures, but while I'd been gone she'd been getting those long nails again.

Maybe she thought she was being careful about her spending, but anyone with eyes could see that she was spending way more than she was bringing in.

There was no way the Feds weren't suspicious.

I felt anxious about it.

Everyone was bustling around, jumping in to cook or clean, while Ana stood to the side and watched it all play out.

Then her watch chimed and she looked panicked for a split second.

"Beba, finish up, we need to leave in a half-hour." She said, and then she took Gigi from Sugar's arms and handed her to me.

Gigi smiled up at me and then rested her head on my shoulder. Ana rubbed her back and drained her cup before putting it on the counter.

She leaned in close to Gigi and kissed her face. "You need to wake up, Preciosa."

The baby grumbled and curled up tighter in my arms, which made Ana roll her eyes.

"What's going on?"

"I need to drop them off and then I have to get my day going, you still shadowing me?"

"Yes."

"Good, then eat quick, we need to get going."

"Wait, San are you leaving?" Quinn asked and then everyone stopped moving.

"Yeah, I love you all, but I need to stay on my routine, it's important to my recovery and my probation, so enjoy your day, I'm sure you'll find ways to entertain yourselves."

Quinn stepped closer, "What about Izzy?"

Ana nodded, understanding that Quinn thought she'd forgotten to include our son into the day.

"He's already gone, Q. Saul is super Tio, and Rob couldn't pass up the chance for guy time, look around, do you see any of the boys other than your son?"

Quinn looked around and huffed, as she cut up Quincy's pancake.

"Quincy could have gone."

"Yeah but he still sleeps with his Moms, so he missed the round-up. He's four, maybe it's time for you to let him roam free."

"You have a point."

"Okay, Q, I'd love to continue this jam session, but I really do need to get going."

"Right, I'm going to hang out here today, and work on my tan. Have a great day!"

"Thanks." Ana plopped a wet kiss on Quinn's cheek and then was pulling me towards the foyer.

Gigi was grinning up at me while I got her dressed in a cute little jumper, while Ana brushed Dani's hair into submission.

Dani was drumming as she glared at Ana in the mirror.

"Too tight?" Ana asked.

"Yes, a little looser please?"

Ana wiggled the bright-colored balls that held Dani's pigtails then took a step back.

"Better?"

"Yes."

"Great, take your sister to your room, grab your overnight bag."

I watched our daughters walk out of the room, then turned to see Ana wiping her eyes.

"Are you okay, Baby?"

"Prepare yourself, B. I cry on and off the whole time they're with him."

"Still?"

"Yeah, well, every time they come back it's an adjustment. This is the only day of the week that he gets them all day and overnight…I know he's good with them, he has a lot of help, it's just…this was not the plan."

I hugged her to my chest, knowing just how she felt.

At least now, she wouldn't have to do it alone.

I would be her peace.

Her watch chimed again, and she pulled away.

"Times up, you ready?"

"Sure, Baby."

"I'm happy you're here, B."

"Me too."

Dani had asked me to help her find something she wanted to take with her, so Ana had gone ahead to the car with Gigi.

When we were alone, Dani stopped searching under her bed and tapped my shoulder as I knelt, looking through her toy box.

"Yeah?"

"Mama, we need to talk."

I turned to her and waited for her to say more but she was waiting for something.

"Okay, Squirt. What's up?"

"Mami is not the same as when you left."

"Oh, is there something I should know?"

"She is sad a lot, like when she thinks I don't see. You has to keep her busy."

"I'm sure she knows how to be busy."

"She's not doing drugs anymore, but she looks sad like before."

"Like last time?"

"Yes, sometimes."

"I will make sure that she stays busy, anything else?"

"She needs lots of cuddles, and some managing."

"Managing? What do you know about managing, Dani?"

"A lot. So, when I goes to Papa, I need you to keep her happy. Okay?"

"Okay."

"I love you most, don't forget."

"Still?" I teased and she grinned.

"Always, you and Mami are my most favorite, and then Gigi, Norah, and Izzy. Then Nikolai, and Sweetie, Abuela, Gamma, Beya, Poppy, and after all of them is Papa. Okay?"

She actually had a list of her favorites, and I was at the very top.

"Can I tell you a secret, Dani?"

"You can tell me anything."

I smoothed back her wild hair, and dug my finger in her little dimple, then she giggled.

"Even if I stop being your favorite, because someday that might happen, I will never stop loving you."

"I know that Mama." She sucked her teeth, "That's not a secret."

"Okay, maybe it's not a secret but it's something I don't want you to ever forget."

"I love you, Mama. I'm happy you're back."

"Me too."

When I got outside with Dani's hand in mine, I saw Sugar crouched down in front of her son tying his shoe, while she talked to him.

He had that calculating stare that Nico had when he was trying to solve something, and he was looking from Dani to me. He bent close to Sugar and whispered, then she looked back at me and at him again.

It was a weird exchange.

Even stranger was the way that she helped him into the backseat of her SUV, before turning around and holding her hand out for Dani to help her inside.

Ana sat in the passenger seat of the SUV, with tears in her eyes but she smiled anyway.

After Sugar closed the car door, she walked a little away from the car. "Come talk to me for a second, B." I followed her until she turned to me and patted my shoulder. "Ana says you're shadowing her today…if you have any questions that you don't want to ask her, just ask me…okay?"

"Sure. Why is your son coming with us?"

"Because we have been raising these kids together, Britt. Sure, we didn't fuck but in every other way, I was filling your shoes. Which is why I'm going to go to the store and complete that errand you asked me for while you take your place back." She gave me the keys and nodded to the car.

"Is he going to Marco too?"

"Yes, the only way that Ana allowed an overnight was if Nikolai was there because he is very protective of your girls. He won't let anything happen to them."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Okay. Thanks for everything, Sugar. You've been a good bitch." I teased and she rolled her eyes.

"I've been the best bitch." She winked before walking off towards Ana's old convertible.

I clutched the keys, and then walked to the car, feeling so thrown off by all the changes but I was going to do my best to roll with them.

At least I wasn't in my small prison cell, wishing that I was out in the world next to my wife and kids.

When I got behind the wheel for the first time, I took a moment to savor it before starting the car up.

Mercy's newest song was blasting through the speakers, and I froze when I heard a familiar rasp in the background.

When I looked over, I expected Ana to be singing along with the music, but she wasn't, she was just staring at me.

"Is this where the extra money is coming from, you made music with Mercedes?" I asked her, and she smirked.

"Me and Dani are producing her album, so yes. That song last night was for my own project, but most days we are working on Mercy's stuff. I don't put my actual name on things, just Snix because I don't want the spotlight, especially not while I'm still on probation, and just getting my life together. I want Mercedes to be the star, it's all she asked for after I left her high and dry after the explosions. She and Z were at the Rage Cage when it happened, he broke both legs getting her out. I never called, never checked in, not even when she had her baby."

"Wow, and she still forgave you?"

"Yes, Mercy has always been good like that. She was the best of the glee club. Anyway, when I finally went to make amends, she asked me to produce her album for free…and I agreed as long as I could get royalties and could retain ownership of my masters. I've been making enough to sustain us."

"That's so awesome."

"Yeah, plus the Grammy foundation also takes care of me, that's how we have health insurance. I shouldn't have taken money from him while I'm still neck-deep in things, I promise you that I won't talk to him again. You have my word, B." She glanced back at Nikolai, and I knew she meant Al Motta.

"You don't know how happy that makes me." I said and then leaned towards her, kissing her with everything I had.

Her phone came to life over the speaker, and she pulled back when the car announced who it was.

Marco.

"Shit. We're late, he won't let me hear the end of this. Let me drive, B." She said, looking shaken.

No.

That's not right.

After all this time, she was still jumping at his every command, no me gusta.

I was home now, and there was no way that I was going to let him run my wife into a frenzy.

"No. Just tell me where to go and I'll get us there."

"But B…what if he tries to use this to get more time?" She looked like she was ready to break even more.

I looked in the backseat and caught Dani's eyes. "See." She whispered, and I did.

Marco was making her lose it.

Fuck that.

"It's in the GPS under Ari, I didn't have the heart to change it." She muttered, moving with shaking hands to reset the GPS for me.

When she finished, I put my hand on her thigh and waited for her to look at me. Her beautiful eyes were bloodshot, and she was biting her lip so hard that it was bright red.

"I'm only going to say this once, so pay attention." I raised an eyebrow, pulling out all of my extra dominance and like always she fixed her face and nodded.

"Okay."

"WE are their parents, so even though he has visitation, it doesn't mean that he gets to run things. If we are late for any reason, then we are late. I don't want you to let him have any control in this situation."

"It's just hard not to give into him, even after all this time, B…he's embedded in my psyche."

"That's why you have me. I'm home, and I'm not going to see you break down like this over his demands. You have all the control, my love. Take it knowing that I've got your back."

"Thanks, B. I needed to hear that." She wiped her face and then turned up the music. Once she seemed calmer, I double-checked that the kids were strapped in before following the GPS into Lima Heights.

The last time I had been home, that part of town had looked like a war zone, with people sleeping on the streets, and a lot of crumbled buildings.

Now, it looked like Brooklyn, with brownstones, and beautiful front yards.

Kids were playing on the sidewalks and riding their bikes.

It was beautiful to see.

We drove past Breadstix, and Ian's old neighborhood until we reached near the train tracks.

Even there, the houses looked manicured, and beautiful.

Marco sat in his chair on the porch with his father, and two other women. They waved at the car as we pulled into the driveway.

Ana got out of the car, and opened the back door, her smile was in place and her tears were long gone.

But there was still this look in her eyes that made me ache.

The look she used to carry way back in our senior year of high school, when she was battling drugs, dealing with my craziness, and abuse, and then all the shit Marco put her through…was in her eyes and I wanted to beat him over the head again.

"B?" Ana called from the passenger side, and I realized that I hadn't stopped glaring at Marco. "Come give kisses, I won't step foot on that porch…not with the way I'm feeling."

"Right."

I kissed my girls, and ruffled Nikolai's hair before wrapping my arm over Ana's shoulders while we watched the kids follow Marco's chair inside the house.

Before we could get back in the car, Ari's mom was coming over to us with a box in her hands.

I thought she was going to talk to Ana, but she was looking right at me.

"Hi, Brittany."

"Bendición, Senora." I said, proud of myself for remembering that greeting.

She looked from me to Ana, impressed with my Spanish.

"Dios te bendiga. I wanted to give you this, my daughter wanted you to have them."

She handed me an old shoebox, and I took a moment to open it.

Inside was a beat up pair of pointe shoes.

"Her shoes." I whispered, and then I saw an envelope on the inside.

I handed the box to Ana and opened the letter.

And read Ari's words out loud.

Britt, It seems like from the first day that we met, we've been saving each other's lives. It was our destiny. I need you to know that I am grateful for you. In the end, I know you felt like you could have done more to save me, but it was my time. Please know that without your bone marrow, I would have never lived long enough to get a Tony award or achieve any of my dreams. Because of you I was able to meet Goli and fall in love. You saved my life in so many ways, our ledger is clean. Please take my shoes and hang them wherever you go. If anyone can keep my spirit alive, it's you.

Make sure that you pass on our love of dance to your kids. Remember to keep dancing with your favorite dance partner, keep giving all the love and all the laughter that the world needs. You are the ultimate unicorn. I love you, and I'm so proud of you for everything you've overcome. We are blood sisters in this life, and the next. Take care of our girl and yourself. Saving a place for you in the spotlight until we meet again.-Ari

Inside the envelope were a few pictures, but the one that stuck out to me was one from that day where I made her dance by my side, not knowing how sick she'd been. She'd shaken off her exhaustion and danced her heart out because I demanded it of her, and she'd delivered. Tony must have taken it.

She was looking at me in the mirror, with a sly grin on her face while I was dancing with my eyes closed.

I flipped the picture over and in her loopy scrawl she'd written, "B, this is the moment when I realized what Santana sees in you. You are magic."

I showed it to Ana, and she rolled her eyes, before nodding. "You are magic, Britt Britt."

Marco had soured my mood by making Ana crazy, and I was so close to flipping out about it but then Ari's mom came to me with this amazing gift and made me remember just how much I had lost by going away.

Including the chance to dance with Ari again, and a chance to say goodbye.

Ari's mom looked so small and vulnerable. I took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Senora, I want you to know that you raised an amazing woman. She inspired so many people. I am going to hang her shoes in my studio and will take them with me on every show that I perform so that she is always with me. I will keep her alive in my heart always."

"Thank you, Brittany." She squeezed my hand back, and I could tell she was holding back, so I opened my arms up for her.

"Can I hug you?" I asked and she nodded before stepping into my arms.

It felt good to have that moment, and to give her a bit of peace by letting her know that a piece of her daughter would always live on.

By the time we left Lima Heights, I was in tears and Ana was the one trying to cheer me up. She took over driving since I was shadowing her and had no idea what came next.

She turned the music down and kept her hand on my thigh as she drove us to our next destination.

I wiped my tears and tried to keep a straight face but all I could think of was the last time I'd really seen Ari, and how she'd been yelling in my face.

We'd been at odds, and I thought she'd died hating me.

But she hadn't.

Ana was always better at cheering me up than I gave her credit for.

To be real though, it was only because all it took was her pulling to the side of the road and climbing into my lap to make me smile.

Ana touched me softly and made-out with me all to make me feel okay again, so of course it cheered me up.

And made me moan.

"Horn dog." She teased.

"You have no idea." I teased back.

I kissed her again, and then her watch chimed.

She climbed off my lap and fixed her lip gloss before turning back to me and holding her hand out.

"Do you feel better, B?"

"Yeah."

"Good. So, I'm running behind schedule and it's already starting to throw me off. Do you mind if we save any detours or make-outs for lunch?"

"Of course, I'm sorry you're late."

"It's fine, I just need to get back on track. The meeting started like 2 minutes ago."

"You lead, I'll follow."

She kissed my nose, and then hopped down from the car. I met her on the curb, and then she took my hand and pulled me towards the side of the church.

We went down a path, and then she quietly pulled us into her meeting.

Everyone was moving around, talking, and eating snacks. There wasn't a meeting yet, which made me feel relieved because we hadn't missed anything.

But then Ana let go of my hand, and walked to the front of the little chapel, and clapped her hands.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and began clapping in response as they made their way to their seats.

Walker took my hand and led me to the front pew, "Hi Brittany, our girl is leading the meeting, so you can sit with me."

"Wait, she is?" All of a sudden her urgency made sense, the meeting hadn't started because she wasn't there to start it.

I sat next to Walker, and watched Ana stand in the front of the room looking just as confident as she used to when she was leading the Cheerios.

"If you're here, you know that this meeting isn't the traditional kumbaya where we hold hands and sway, or bitch about how people still won't forgive us for what we've done. Today's meeting will be breakout groups, if you've got 5 years or less, you'll get to sit with someone who's been rocking this sobriety thing for a decade. There's no judgment, here. Sometimes people like me, who made it five years and then broke six months ago, need to sit with someone who's been there."

I watched as the group split in two, and then Ana came and sat with us, and Walker took her hands.

"You're doing great. Tell them what they need to do next."

"Right. Thanks." Ana winked at me before clapping her hands once, everyone looked up at her as they sat with their new breakout buddy. "Once everyone has a buddy, I want you to share your stories, it can be any story about your worst day, then talk about what brough you here. We'll breakout for ten minutes, and then we'll do a roleplay. I want the newbies to come share a story from their breakout buddy, as if you are them."

"What's the point of this exercise?" Someone asked, and Ana smiled.

"For old junkies who have figured out how to make this thing stick, it will be a good reminder of what it feels like to have no control, because for all of us day 1 is always a possibility. If you remember where you came from, it will strengthen where you're going. For the rest of us, giving a testimony from the other side, will help us see that there is a way through. If you imagine that it is so, until it becomes so, then you can achieve what you're pushing for."

"Do we get a prize at the end?" Someone said, and then chuckled. "I'm joking, this sounds kind of dope."

I could tell the girl talking was young, and from the look in Ana's eyes, she knew the person talking. Her eyebrow raised, and I saw that old spark come back.

"The prize is clarity, and hopefully this isn't dope at all. Are you done, Sofia, or do you need to keep heckling me? If this arrangement doesn't work, there's a traditional meeting at six." Ana was close to snapping.

I turned around and recognition dawned on me.

Sofia.

The girl she'd fucked in the apartment below her old one what felt like a million years before.

I could see Ana's face harden, so I cleared my throat and when my wife looked at me, she smirked and clapped her hands.

She hit her watch screen, and then nodded towards the room. "Ten minutes starts now."

When Ana came over, she squeezed my shoulder, "I'm going to leave you here to talk to Walker, B. I'm going to chat with a different person."

I wasn't an addict, but I did have my own addictions.

Anger, for one.

Walker told me her story, and it gave me a newfound respect for her.

And when I told her about my anger, something I was way more comfortable talking about now that I'd been in anger management for a year, she took my hands and squeezed them just like she always did with Ana.

"Brittany, I pray that being separated from your family and being made to deal with your demons, has helped you on the road to recovery."

"I think it has."

"Think?" She raised an eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes, "I know it has."

"Good girl." She grinned.

After everyone got up and talked like their breakout buddy, we said the serenity prayer, and Ana encouraged everyone to keep in touch with their buddy, because people needed a sponsor, but it was also good to have a coach.

I turned to Walker and nudged her. "Do you think we can spend some one-on-one time together soon?"

"I'd like that."

"Great because I need a job, and I feel like you are just the person to talk to about opening a dance studio."

Walker gave me a business card, and then patted my back.

"Call me when you're ready."

Santana's POV

"I'm sorry about that." Sofia said to me as I cleaned up coffee cups in the back of the room while Britt and Walker talked a little bit more.

"Make yourself useful or leave me be, please." I said, trying to control my voice, because I knew that if I raised it, Britt would be across the room in an instant.

After seeing the rage she had when she beat Marco, there was a part of me that felt terrified to push her to that point again.

I didn't think she'd hurt me or the kids, I could tell that Britt had changed but I knew better than anyone that all it took was being pushed to the edge at just the wrong moment for everything to go to shit.

Sofia began to stack the unused plates and cups neatly so that they'd be ready for the next meeting, while I continued to collect trash.

"I'm in town because I have a new client, I'm not even an addict, but I heard that you lead this session, and I wanted to see you."

"Why?"

"Well, I was going to ask if you were still with your wife but seeing as she's staring me down from across the room at this very moment, I guess I have my answer."

"Did you bump your head and forget that you and I didn't end well?"

"We didn't really end at all, we screwed for a week and then you ran back to her…or was it Sugar…or maybe Ari?"

"LEAVE." I growled, and just like I knew she would, I could feel Britt's presence as she came over to us.

"Okay, fine, you can't blame a girl for trying…I wouldn't want to get my face beat in. I'll go."

By the time Britt and Walker were by my side, Sofia was out the door, and I was finally able to breathe.

My watch chimed, and I checked the message.

Just got the song, ready to record. Free tonight?-Mercy

I wish! Maybe tomorrow.-Santana

I huffed, frustrated that I couldn't just focus on recording all the time. I took a deep breath and refocused myself on finishing up my cleaning, before moving over to the sink and washing my hands.

"Can I help you with anything, Baby?" B asked.

"Actually, would you mind checking the pews for any trash? We need to be out of here in five minutes."

Britt kissed my forehead and then danced her way through the empty pews while I dried my hands.

"You can't have her help you with your community service, you know that." Walker reminded me.

"Yes, I know. She's my shadow today, after seeing the house, she had the same reaction that you did."

"Anyone would have that reaction. Hiding that mansion behind wrought iron gates and a big garden doesn't help matters."

"You are still auditing me though, right?"

"Of course I am, if you get too close to the business, that's it for all of us."

"I haven't been frivolous. I use my song money, that's it."

"Just be smart about your moves, she just got out of jail, so don't be surprised if your probation officer starts snooping around."

"You make a good point, luckily for me, the house isn't in my name or anyone else's."

"Technically…you do own the LLC."

"Look, I'm doing everything that you've told me to do. I check in with my accountant, and Sal every few days, and I'm fucking focused. I have everything scheduled."

"Which means?"

"You and Dr. Clover becoming friends was a bad idea."

"What does it mean when you put yourself on a strict schedule with no room for error, Santana…just tell me and I'll leave it be."

"It means that I'm not managing my expectations well, because anything could happen."

"Exactly."

"I'll do better."

"How are your cravings?"

"Minimal. I want to smoke more than anything else, so that's an improvement."

"If you say so."

It's not until Britt says to me, "You're like the bunny with his watch." That I realized how much I missed being one of the few people on Earth that understood Brittany's random thoughts.

"Sometimes I feel like that bunny." I muttered as I drove us through town towards school.

I had a Saturday tutoring session in an hour, so it was finally time to have a moment to just relax.

B seemed anxious, but when I pulled through the We Lime's new drive-thru and ordered waffles, she grinned.

"Are we going somewhere?"

"Yeah, I was thinking we could take a blanket down to the lake, have a little lunch, and feed the ducks."

"Sweet! I missed them."

"Well, they are there all the time, and Gia is obsessed just like you. She took Quackers from me, and now I have nothing of yours to cuddle."

"You have me."

"Now I do."

We sat by the water, enjoying our sandwiches while Britt leaned her head on my shoulder.

"Tell me something good, Ana banana."

"Well, B, after all these years, I finally feel worthy of you and our kids. After losing Ari, and my 5-year chip…and you, well I had to start taking stock of what I wanted for the next chapter of my life. I'll be 30 soon, and I want to go into that part of my life differently."

"Different how?"

"We can both agree that from the moment I turned 13, my life has been shit. Right?"

"A lot of times, it was yes…but you had good things."

"Of course, what I mean to say is that I am finally ready to stop letting all the bad stuff dictate what comes next. I'm ready to love myself like I deserve to be loved. I don't want to look to anyone for love without turning it inside first."

"That's so awesome, Ana."

"Yeah, I know."

"I love that you love yourself. It's going to change your life, watch."

"It already has. My love for myself is what built that house and wrote those songs. I've been pouring all this positivity into our girls, trying to teach them that they don't need other people to give them love to be happy. I'm trying to make them stronger than I was, in teaching them to be confident and love themselves, I'm learning to do it too."

"That's amazing."

"Thanks, B. I'm glad you think so."

Walker had been way too right about my P.O. sniffing around.

I was putting our trash into the bin while Britt fed the last few pieces of bread to the ducks when my P.O. came around the bend in a cheap suit that was way too wool for a hot June day.

"Santana! Just who I was looking for."

"Well, here I am, at the park just like I am every Saturday at 1pm." I said sarcastically, but she just raised her eyebrow.

She pulled a cup out of her fanny pack and handed it to me.

"There are public restrooms at the end of the trail, let's get this done."

I sighed and looked down towards the lake, where Britt was staring up at us.

"Linda, listen, I'm doing everything by the book. At the very least can we go across the street to the Bean and do this?"

She sighed, "Tell you what, how about we head to the medical annex, and I get a full panel."

"I have a tutoring session today."

"Then cancel it."

"Why can't you just put me on the patch like I had in New York?"

"You haven't questioned me once until today, Santana. Is there a reason for that?"

I was so pissed that I didn't even notice Britt coming up behind me until she was touching my lower back and kissing the side of my head.

"Don't fight her, baby."

I nodded, and pulled out my phone, sent a quick message to the tutoring center and then shoved it back into my pocket.

"Are we allowed to drive there or are you going to handcuff me or something?" I snapped at Linda, and she shrugged.

"Don't tempt me."

"Baby." Britt said, and I nodded.

"Right, you lead, and we'll follow." I said, parroting Britt from earlier and that seemed to placate Linda enough to get her to calm the fuck down.

Britt tucked our blanket under her arm before grabbing my hand and leading us to the car.

"Do you want me to drive, Baby?"

"Yeah, could you…I need to text my sponsor."

"Okay." She ran around the car and opened the passenger door for me, before skipping to the driver side.

It made me smile, but it wasn't enough to rinse the bitter taste out of my mouth.

You were right, I didn't manage my expectations. I'm feeling like shit.-Santana

Stop beating yourself up, you don't feel like shit. It's one moment of crap in a day full of sunshine. You're fine. Text your sponsor.-Walker

Yeah. I am.-Santana

Hey, I'm feeling off today, still sober.-San

That's good to hear. Take it a moment at a time today, be honest about your boundaries, and show up to the meeting tonight-April

I was going to skip it, fam is in town-San

Do you think that's the best idea?-April

I think it is, but I know it's not.-San

A moment at a time. Stay open. See you at the meeting!-April

Britt had been singing along to the music while following Linda over to the new hospital annex.

When we stopped, she turned to me and cupped my cheek, her blue eyes sparkling.

"What comes after this?"

"Honestly, B, I have no idea. My schedule is thrown for the day. I had tutoring, then I was supposed to meet my study group at 3, on campus. Then I was supposed to be meeting Sugar for our weekly nail appointment and massages, but with everyone at the house…and this whole bullshit I have to do, I'm thinking that I'm throwing out my schedule."

"The whole thing? Didn't you say the routine was good for your sobriety? Please don't let me being here change things. I want to see you as you were before I got here."

"That's impossible, B…maybe when the family leaves and Linda calms-" I began to say when there was a harsh knock on my window. "She's worse than Sue." I growled, and then climbed out of the car.

It was then that I saw the black car that I'd been seeing for months.

The feds.

Fuck.

Britt didn't let my hand go as we followed Linda into the building, and she didn't move far from me when they decided to do a blood test, a breathalyzer, and a urine sample.

I froze, remembering something big that I hadn't told B.

Once they were done taking all of my samples, Linda hovered, and I didn't think it was fucking necessary.

"Can we have a moment alone, Linda?"

"Only a moment, I'll be right outside the door."

"I know."

Once she was gone, I stood up and put my hands on Britt's cheeks.

I could see the distrust that her eyes had been carrying since Isaac was born, it had existed there, just a bit of doubt with every glance.

At first, it wrecked me, but I'd come to expect it.

I was a liar.

"I want you to be proud of me, B. I want so much for you to be happy with the way I'm living my life."

"I am."

"Before those results come back, there's something you need to know."

"Okay, you can tell me anything."

"Remember when I lost Angel?"

"How could I forget?" She wrinkled her nose, totally not expecting that.

"I saw a lot of doctors after that, before the girls were born but after I lost her…they said that I had insanely low levels of progesterone for someone who was carrying twins. I was told that if I ever wanted to have kids again, I'd need to level those out for longer than traditionally advised before IVF."

"Okay, so is that what you want to do?"

"It's what I've been doing. When I got sober this time, I wanted to give myself incentives to carry me to each month. I've been taking shots, and pills to prepare myself for carrying our next child. I wasn't going to get implanted until you got home."

"You were serious about having another baby?" She squeaked.

"Yes but this time, I want to be fully healthy, I want to do everything by the book, and I want to make sure that my body is in the best shape it can be. I want to be still and give you every moment that you missed the last time."

"I've had moments."

"No, with Isaac, you came around at the end, with Daniela I was in the hospital for a lot of it…and with the girls, I left. This next time, I want to be still…and I want you to be there every step of the way."

"That's-" She began, but then the door opened, and Linda came in looking satisfied.

"You're clean, the blood work will take a few hours, but for now, you're free to go."

"Thanks."

"And Santana?"

"Yes?"

"Remember that you have a court hearing on Monday morning, bright and early."

"I'll be there."

"Good."

"You ready, B?" I asked, and Britt nodded, but then she cupped my cheeks and kissed me so hard that for just a moment, everything felt right in the world again.

Brittany's POV

"So, did your plan to figure her out, work?" Quinn asked me when we finally got home after a day spent watching my wife go through so many emotions that I felt dizzy.

"A little." I said, as I watched Ana sitting in her song booth, playing as she wrote music.

We'd gone to the meeting and come home to a pool party going on outside.

The guys were on their way back and the sisters wanted to make sure that dinner would be ready for them. They'd taken one look at Ana's bloodshot eyes and told her to go do something that made her happy.

I couldn't leave her alone, so I followed her into the studio and Quinn followed me.

We had the noise turned off, so that Ana couldn't hear us, and we couldn't hear her, but my eyes never left my wife's stiff body as she moved from playing to writing and back again.

"I've figured some stuff out, like how she's back to being herself with the exception of her confidence, I know how to fix that though. Mostly I've seen a different person than either of us thought she'd be."

"How so?" Quinn and I had been talking for weeks, so much so that she was the only person other than my parents that knew I was getting out early. She was worried about the person that Ana was becoming without me.

I knew that her fear came from a place of concern just like always, but things were different now. She couldn't kiss away Ana's pain anymore, and that had put a wall between them. Celia had to be the more important sister for Quinn, but I could tell that in her heart of hearts, Ana would always come first.

It was Q's default, and I understood it because it was mine too.

I was worried that she'd be full of lies, and even her lies would have lies…just like always but what I had seen was my wife, giving the greatest effort, more than any she'd ever given.

She was a real mom now, not just one that would die for our kids but a mom who planned to live for our kids.

I was proud of her.

"She's the Santana that we lost on her 18th birthday. She's OUR Santana again, vulnerable, open, and focused." I said, hoping that Quinn could understand, and she didn't let me down.

Ana wasn't the only person that understood my mind, Quinn did too.

"You really think so, B? I miss that version of her, it'd taken so long for her to accept herself and be open to letting the light in. It'd be great if that's where she is again. Do you think she'll stay this way now that you're home?"

"I do. After getting to know Ari, I know now that so much of Ana's personality is like a mirror of Ari. It's like when Ari died, she broke off pieces of her soul and spread them out over us."

"Sounds like something she'd do." Quinn smirked, and then sighed. "Do you think that she'll stay here now that she has this mansion?"

"Yes."

"Who would have thought that the one person that couldn't wait to get the hell out of Lima, would make herself this fortress of solitude, that is so permanent?"

"Me. She's always been a hometown girl at heart. New York is great, but think of everything it's taken from her, Q. She hasn't been fully herself, or fully happy since she was right here in this town. It makes sense that she'd want to be here."

"I was afraid you'd say that."

"Seriously, Q, if you're unhappy in Connecticut, just tell Celia." I said to her because I could see it all over her face. She was done with med school, and was a real doctor now, but she seemed to have become her mom.

Stuck.

Preppy.

And unhappy.

"It's not that simple, B."

"Didn't she leave Texas and follow her fiancé all the way to Chicago?"

"Yes."

"So what makes you think that she wouldn't do the same thing if you decided that you wanted to be here?"

"There's just still this fear that she has that I'll run off with San."

"Over my dead body, and even then I'd haunt you right out of my bed."

"But why, B? You have let Ari be with her, and you let Sugar stick around even though I'm sure she's going to end up as your sister wife soon enough." I shrugged, and Quinn's jaw dropped. "What her and not me?"

I raised my eyebrow, and Quinn blushed, throwing up her hands in defeat.

"You know why, Quinnie."

"Maybe I want to hear you say it."

"You're the only person that stands a chance of taking my place and doing it better."

"Ari was better than me."

"Yes, she was but even she backed down because she knows that no matter how many people choose Ana, she will always choose me."

"And don't you forget it!" I heard Ana's voice come through the speaker sounding far away, and when we looked up, I could see her with her headphones on, grinning.

"You heard all of that?" Quinn said into the mic.

"Every single word…and Q, Britt is right, if you want to be closer to us, just tell Ceily. She'd move here for you if that's what you want."

"I'll think about it."

"In the meantime, Q ball, what Britt isn't saying is that you ruined any chances of being our sister wife when you literally fucked my sister."

"That'll do it." I said, and Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Noted."

Ana's phone buzzed and her face got like stone as she looked at the screen.

Her eyes met mine, and then she came out of the song booth looking pale.

"What's wrong?"

She handed me the phone with shaky hands, and I saw a message that made me jump up so fast that I nearly stumbled.

Get to the hospital fast. It's the baby-Marco

In the past, I would have watched my wife fly into a panic, but instead I watched as she turned into Quinn.

She grabbed her keys, and then began to leave the room before turning back.

"You need to be with me, both of you. Gone is the Santana that rushes off into the unknown, I need backup. Please?"

We followed Ana out to the car, stopping only for Quinn to update Celia on what was happening and promising to call before we headed to the hospital.

When we got there, Dani was sitting in the waiting room next to Marco, with blood all over her shirt, with dazed eyes.

"What happened?" Ana asked him, and when I stepped behind her, I watched Marco flinch.

"It's my fault, Anita, I didn't mean to hurt her."

"What did you do?" I growled at him, and he flinched again.

"I was on the couch, playing Zingo with the kids and had left my chair unlocked, she climbed up and tried to ride in it, it jammed, and she flew off. It happened so fast."

"Parents of Gia Lopez?" A doctor called, and I pulled Ana over.

"That's us."

I heard the whirl of his chair but didn't bother turning back around.

"Gia is awake, we gave her four stitches, and have concluded that she's suffering from a mild concussion."

"Can we see her?" Ana asked, and the doctor nodded.

"Two at a time."

"Come on, B."

Ana's strong façade cracked when we stepped into the triage room. Gigi was sitting in a large crib and had gauze on her forehead. Her golden ringlets framed her tan face, and I froze at the resemblance.

She looked like Ari.

"I know." Ana said to me. "It's weird isn't it, that I gave birth to my soulmate?"

"It's fate."

Gia clapped her hands when she saw me and Ana on either side of the crib.

She kept turning her face back and forth, grinning at us.

The doctors wanted to keep Gia for observation overnight but said it was more of a precaution than anything else.

We stayed with her for a long time, until Ana seemed sure that the baby was going to be okay, and then I watched the rage take over as we stepped into the hallway.

"No." I warned. "Be better than him."

"I knew something was going to happen, B."

"You didn't."

"She has stitches!"

"But she's fine."

"How can you be so fucking calm about this?"

"You have all of the power, Santana." At the sound of her full name, her anger turned into shock. Good. "You need to go out there and be better than him. Trust me, he doesn't want to lose visitation, so he's not going to let this happen again."

"It's not that simple, B."

"Nothing is, but you aren't alone anymore."

"Thanks, B."