Chapter 6
Something was licking him.
"He he. Stop, that tickles" Vash muttered. He tried to lift a hand but discovered that he was trapped. He could feel that he was securely bound by an abundance of rope to what seemed to be a couch that he was lying on. Opening his eyes, he found his view blocked by a canine face. The dog, that was comfortably sitting on his chest, barked once.
Vash turned his head to take in a sideways view of what seemed to be a child approaching him. He had to assume it to be a child, especially the way it was walking on all fours, and then leapt onto his chest and stared intently into his face.
"Ein says that it is awake!" The child crooned.
"Um, hey." Vash said, confused. "What's going on? Who are you?"
Before the strange child could answer, Spike walked over.
"I don't think you want her to formerly introduce herself. It'll just confuse you more. Just call her Ed."
"Her? A girl named Ed?" Vash asked.
"That is me! I am Edward!" The child bolted off, cart wheeling wildly and making highly unnatural sounds. The dog followed her.
"Comfortable?" Spike asked.
Vash wiggled a bit. "I've been in worse."
"I can attest to that!" Nicholas said, joining them.
"What - you crazy priest, what are you doing, just standing there! This is all your fault in the first place!" Vash yelled, struggling to free himself. "I'm really gonna give it to you, you hear me? Aren't churchmen supposed to be full of compassion and sympathy? Get me outta here!!" He thrashed about on the couch wildly as Spike and Nicholas watched indifferently.
Spike looked to the priest and gestured to the other room. "Hey, can I get you a drink?"
"That's very kind of you." Nicholas said.
They walked out, leaving Vash yelling and thrashing against his bonds.
The two men sat at a table and Spike pulled some scotch from the shelf. Nicholas watched as the drinks were poured.
"I can't believe that I'm really in a space ship. This is incredible." Nicholas said.
"Well," Spike said, sipping his drink, "I guess you get used to it after a while. Just wait till you see Ganymede. It's a huge satellite colony. That's where we'll be collecting our bounty." Spike produced a 'wanted' poster sporting Vash's portrait. They had taken it while Jet had been collecting the pieces of the busted Swordfish. "I still can't believe that guy has such a huge bounty. I mean, he's got the skills. I only won because of a fluke. But- he's such a weirdo."
"Yeah, I know." Nicholas laughed. "But you know something?"
Spike looked up.
"I've noticed that you two have something in common."
"I'm choosing to not take that as an insult." Spike said.
"No, seriously." Nicholas said. "It's a subtle thing, really. In your eyes. I told Vash the day I met him, it was like a sadness that's written all over your face."
Spike swished the alcohol around his glass. "Well, I guess I've got a lot of stuff to be sad about"
Nicholas walked around the table. He grinned.
"What are you doing?" Spike asked fearfully.
"I've got just the thing for you!" Nicholas said reaching around his back. From out of nowhere, he produced a small replica of a church. "Look! It's a portable confessional! A bounty hunter like you must have a bunch of sins you need to confess, right? Just pop in a coin, right here, see?"
He tried to put in on Spike's head, but Spike ducked under the table and backed out the door.
"I don't know what kind of priest you are, but you're starting to scare me just as much as the other guy!" Spike bolted down the corridor.
"Hey, wait! Don't you want to save your soul from eternal damnation?!" Nicholas shouted, running after him.
Spike called back, "I'll be dammed if I let you get anywhere near me with that thing!"
Nicholas was about to reply when he tripped over something and went sprawling, the confessional flying from his hands. The thing he tripped over was Ed, who had curled up right in the middle of the floor.
"Ooooooohhhhh!" Ed crooned, crawling over to the confessional. She picked it up and put it on her head backwards. "Ed likes the church-helmet! What does it do? Does it give Ed x-ray vision? It's all dark! How does Ed make it work?"
Nicholas sat up. "Oh, well, you put a coin in the top there, and then you confess all the bad things you've done in your life."
"Confess! Confess!" Ed shouted theatrically, waving her arms about. She magically produced two woolong coins from somewhere on her person and popped them into the small slot. "Ed confesses! Ed ate the last of the pickles!!"
"I guess that counts." Nicholas said, pulling the confessional off Ed's head. "Why don't you show me how to get back to Vash."
"Follow Ed!" The child hopped and crawled off.
As Nicholas followed, he opened the roof of the confessional and took out the two woolongs. He felt a bit guilty about taking money from a child, but he shrugged and pocketed them anyway. These guys were about to get 60 billion, they wouldn't miss two little coins.
After many twists and turns through the corridors, Ed led Nicholas back to the lounge room where Vash was lying. Vash had given up struggling and was staring blankly at the ceiling.
"Where are we?" Vash asked in a haunted voice. "The floor is vibrating. It feels like we're on a star ship."
"How would you know that?" Nicholas asked, sitting on a chair.
"It's kind of a long story, actually a really long story, but I grew up on a space ship." Vash said nostalgically.
"Really? How -" Nicholas stopped when Jet poked his head through the door.
"We're here." Jet said.
He disappeared again, and a moment later Vash and Nicholas felt the ship slow and stop. The engines cut off. They had arrived at Ganymede.
Something was licking him.
"He he. Stop, that tickles" Vash muttered. He tried to lift a hand but discovered that he was trapped. He could feel that he was securely bound by an abundance of rope to what seemed to be a couch that he was lying on. Opening his eyes, he found his view blocked by a canine face. The dog, that was comfortably sitting on his chest, barked once.
Vash turned his head to take in a sideways view of what seemed to be a child approaching him. He had to assume it to be a child, especially the way it was walking on all fours, and then leapt onto his chest and stared intently into his face.
"Ein says that it is awake!" The child crooned.
"Um, hey." Vash said, confused. "What's going on? Who are you?"
Before the strange child could answer, Spike walked over.
"I don't think you want her to formerly introduce herself. It'll just confuse you more. Just call her Ed."
"Her? A girl named Ed?" Vash asked.
"That is me! I am Edward!" The child bolted off, cart wheeling wildly and making highly unnatural sounds. The dog followed her.
"Comfortable?" Spike asked.
Vash wiggled a bit. "I've been in worse."
"I can attest to that!" Nicholas said, joining them.
"What - you crazy priest, what are you doing, just standing there! This is all your fault in the first place!" Vash yelled, struggling to free himself. "I'm really gonna give it to you, you hear me? Aren't churchmen supposed to be full of compassion and sympathy? Get me outta here!!" He thrashed about on the couch wildly as Spike and Nicholas watched indifferently.
Spike looked to the priest and gestured to the other room. "Hey, can I get you a drink?"
"That's very kind of you." Nicholas said.
They walked out, leaving Vash yelling and thrashing against his bonds.
The two men sat at a table and Spike pulled some scotch from the shelf. Nicholas watched as the drinks were poured.
"I can't believe that I'm really in a space ship. This is incredible." Nicholas said.
"Well," Spike said, sipping his drink, "I guess you get used to it after a while. Just wait till you see Ganymede. It's a huge satellite colony. That's where we'll be collecting our bounty." Spike produced a 'wanted' poster sporting Vash's portrait. They had taken it while Jet had been collecting the pieces of the busted Swordfish. "I still can't believe that guy has such a huge bounty. I mean, he's got the skills. I only won because of a fluke. But- he's such a weirdo."
"Yeah, I know." Nicholas laughed. "But you know something?"
Spike looked up.
"I've noticed that you two have something in common."
"I'm choosing to not take that as an insult." Spike said.
"No, seriously." Nicholas said. "It's a subtle thing, really. In your eyes. I told Vash the day I met him, it was like a sadness that's written all over your face."
Spike swished the alcohol around his glass. "Well, I guess I've got a lot of stuff to be sad about"
Nicholas walked around the table. He grinned.
"What are you doing?" Spike asked fearfully.
"I've got just the thing for you!" Nicholas said reaching around his back. From out of nowhere, he produced a small replica of a church. "Look! It's a portable confessional! A bounty hunter like you must have a bunch of sins you need to confess, right? Just pop in a coin, right here, see?"
He tried to put in on Spike's head, but Spike ducked under the table and backed out the door.
"I don't know what kind of priest you are, but you're starting to scare me just as much as the other guy!" Spike bolted down the corridor.
"Hey, wait! Don't you want to save your soul from eternal damnation?!" Nicholas shouted, running after him.
Spike called back, "I'll be dammed if I let you get anywhere near me with that thing!"
Nicholas was about to reply when he tripped over something and went sprawling, the confessional flying from his hands. The thing he tripped over was Ed, who had curled up right in the middle of the floor.
"Ooooooohhhhh!" Ed crooned, crawling over to the confessional. She picked it up and put it on her head backwards. "Ed likes the church-helmet! What does it do? Does it give Ed x-ray vision? It's all dark! How does Ed make it work?"
Nicholas sat up. "Oh, well, you put a coin in the top there, and then you confess all the bad things you've done in your life."
"Confess! Confess!" Ed shouted theatrically, waving her arms about. She magically produced two woolong coins from somewhere on her person and popped them into the small slot. "Ed confesses! Ed ate the last of the pickles!!"
"I guess that counts." Nicholas said, pulling the confessional off Ed's head. "Why don't you show me how to get back to Vash."
"Follow Ed!" The child hopped and crawled off.
As Nicholas followed, he opened the roof of the confessional and took out the two woolongs. He felt a bit guilty about taking money from a child, but he shrugged and pocketed them anyway. These guys were about to get 60 billion, they wouldn't miss two little coins.
After many twists and turns through the corridors, Ed led Nicholas back to the lounge room where Vash was lying. Vash had given up struggling and was staring blankly at the ceiling.
"Where are we?" Vash asked in a haunted voice. "The floor is vibrating. It feels like we're on a star ship."
"How would you know that?" Nicholas asked, sitting on a chair.
"It's kind of a long story, actually a really long story, but I grew up on a space ship." Vash said nostalgically.
"Really? How -" Nicholas stopped when Jet poked his head through the door.
"We're here." Jet said.
He disappeared again, and a moment later Vash and Nicholas felt the ship slow and stop. The engines cut off. They had arrived at Ganymede.