Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot and Phoebe.
Author's Note: Sheesh, only one review for the last chapter..ok, I know it's not very interesting, but oh well, I hope there will be more reviews this time round. =(
Thanks Ti by the way (Shorti?!), and Dark-moon-Angel for reviewing my 8th chapter! I do hope you will continue reading! ^__^
Chapter Ten
That night, before the boys went to bed, Sirius, James and Peter cornered Remus into one side of the dorm.
"Out with it, Re," James started, grinning.
"With what?" Remus asked weakly, though he knew what was coming.
"Lily!" Peter exclaimed, exasperated.
"I have nothing to say about her!" Remus point-blank refused to admit that he liked Lily. He knew what would happen if he did. The whole school would know by the next day.
"You know.." Sirius told Remus thoughtfully, "Lily confessed to James she liked you, you know. I guess we will have to tell her that you don't return her feelings," Here, Sirius made an exaggerated sigh. "She will be so hurt."
James snickered. "Yeah, can you bear the thought of hurting her?"
"No way! She likes me? Oh man!" Remus suddenly grinned and hugged all his friends.
"SHE LIKES ME! OH MY GOSH! LILY LIKES ME! AHHHHH!" Remus gave James a tight hug.
"Did she tell you anything else?" Remus asked James eagerly.
James and Sirius looked at each other uncertainly.
"Uh," James gulped, "She said she liked everything about you..that you are the hottest boy she has ever seen."
"Really?"
"Uh, so you like Lily huh.."
"DUH! I'm going to sleep now guys! Oh my god! She likes me!"
"Ok now we are in deep trouble the moment Lily finds out about this," Sirius muttered.
"Not really," Peter replied. Then they three huddled together to form a plan to bring those two together. (A/N: haha!)
~*~
The next morning, as James and Lily were walking to their Astronomy lesson, James suddenly sighed. Lily looked surprised.
"What is it?"
"Sigh..I don't know if I should tell you this," James sighed again, then looked at her from the corner of his eye, "Remus, he- sigh.."
"What's up with Remus?" Lily nudged James, getting more curious by the minute.
"He..has a crush. A REALLY BIG CRUSH," James told her, waiting for her reaction.
Lily's face lit up with hope, then fell again. "So urm, who's the lucky girl?" She asked after some hesitation, trying to squash the disappointment that was welling inside her.
James took a deep breath. "He told me, she's the best person he has ever known, she can't even be compared to his best friend-" Here Lily winced, but James continued, "And of course, I, JAMES POTTER, was offended, but then again, the one he likes is his other best friend..so what can I say?"
Lily looked at James, uncertainty in her eyes. "His other best friend, best person he has ever known..me..Me..ME?! ME!!! AHH!!!" Lily squealed, then hugged James.
"THANK YOU JAMES! THANKS FOR TELLING! REMUS LIKES ME!" With that, she squealed once more and ran all the way to her lesson.
"Some friend she is," James stood there dumbfounded. "She didn't even wait for me!"
That night, in the Gryffindor common room, no one could miss the HUGE grins on both Remus' and Lily's faces. They were absolutely bursting with happiness.
Finally, Remus approached Lily. "Uh, Lily?" He asked tentatively.
Lily, who was concentrating on her Charms assignment, looked behind and saw him. "Oh Remus!" She exclaimed, and promptly dropped her quill in surprise. James and Sirius sniggered.
"Uh, yeah. Remus. I mean, yeah, I am Remus." Remus replied, equally flustered, "I was wondering if..you are free this Saturday..maybe we could go down to Hogsmeade together.."
Just then, Peter interrupted, pretending to look confused. "But you two ALWAYS go to Hogsmeade together!"
"Well, uh, yeah. That's true," Remus blabbered, while Lily turned crimson, "I was just uh, asking Lily to see if..she has other plans.."
"Nonononononono.eh, I mean, no, of course not!" Lily quickly cut in.
Remus grinned. "it's a date then," He smiled, and Lily returned it. Seeing the exchange between the two of them, James and Sirius grinned and gave each other a high five.
~*~
Saturday came. Lily, hand in hand with Remus, walked down the streets. It was nearing nine, which meant they had to return to Hogwarts soon. As both of them slowly halted to a stop, Remus took a deep breath.
"Lily," He began.
"Hmm?" Lily looked up at him, her eyes sparkling like they always did.
Slowly, Remus ran his hands through his light brown hair, confused. Should he tell her? But he took one look at her upturned face, and he took a deep breath.
"Lily, I..I like you."
Lily looked surprised; she hadn't expected Remus to confess to her on their first date, and certainly not a time like that. Jeez, none of the romance novels she read had ever been so unromantic, Lily thought. Why didn't he wait till like, he saved her from some danger, then confessed to her?
Nevertheless, Lily was determined to make her first romance romantic. With a small smile, she gave Remus a totally unexpected kiss on his lips.
Remus jumped. He had expected her to confess too, or just to hug him. The kiss totally caught him off guard. Still, he kissed back hesitantly.
Lily could feel Remus' warm lips still on hers. It was a strange feeling, yet it held no sparks, like how the romance novels depicted. She felt happy, though. The kiss was warm and reassuring, just like Remus. Slowly, she pulled back, and gave Remus a smile, a happy smile.
Remus' heart leapt when she smiled at him. He returned it with a stupid daft grin, and gave her a hug before walking into the direction of Hogwarts.
When they came back, James, Sirius, Peter and Phoebe were already seated in the common room expecting them and eagerly awaiting their return.
"So how was it?" Phoebe asked slyly.
"How was what?" Lily answered her question with another one, trying to avoid the unavoidable question.
"C'mon guys! How was your date?" Sirius pressed on.
Remus smiled, and Lily shrugged. She was still thinking about their kiss, thinking about how she could have made her first kiss more romantic.
Lily yawned. "I'm going up to bed. I'm tired. Night Remus. Night everyone," She muttered, and walked up the stairs.
"Ok, so what did you do to her?" James asked, worried.
"I don't know! I mean, we kissed, then after that kiss, she smiled, but during the walk back, she started to turn moody," Remus confided, his face falling.
"Well, Lily is a sucker for romance; we all know that," Peter commented. Phoebe nodded fervently.
"She has always been telling me how wonderful her first kiss would be like. Like the one for her will be her knight in shining amour or something like that," Phoebe added.
Sirius sniggered. "Sheesh," He laughed, "I can't imagine Remus in any type of amour."
Remus' face turned sour. "Ah shut up Sirius. Maybe I..didn't make it romantic enough for her.."
"Hmm, buddy, cheer up. Things like that require fate. You don't have to MAKE it," James patted his back sympathetically.
"I guess so," Remus sighed.
~*~
Slowly, Lily got used to having Remus around, not as a best friend, but as a boyfriend. Sure, she got teased and all, but she still stuck by him.
Before they all knew it, it was nearing Christmas, and they each returned to their own home respectively. Lily had been acting strange all day, and it had worried Remus, so he had told James to take care of her on his behalf. However, James was baffled.
"How do you expect me to? I mean, why me?" He had asked.
"She is-" Here Remus was cut off by Lily, who then gave him a light kiss on the lips and shoo-ed him into the train. He beamed and waved goodbye to her, apparently all thoughts of James forgotten. James groaned.
That night, James trudged into the Gryffindor common room wearily, having just finished sending Peter, Sirius and Phoebe home (Remus was with Lily).
"I wonder how I'm going to waste my time this holidays -again-," James muttered to himself as he told the fat lady the password dully. To further irritate him, she gave a big beam.
"Staying over for the holidays again, Mr. Potter? Well I hope you have fun then! And it's indeed the password!" She smiled as she swung open the door. James gave an irritated grunt in response, and entered the common room, intending to spend the night on one of those cozy couches again.
However, to his surprise, there was already someone sitting here, and that person was no other than-
"Lily! What are you doing here?" James asked in surprise, half-happy that he wasn't going to spend another holiday alone in Hogwarts like before. Lily, though not on close terms with him, was better than nobody anyway.
"Well, everyone's got to be somewhere. I just choose to be here," Lily answered grumpily, staring into the fire, with a book on her lap, forgotten.
"That's true. At least you have something to look forward to while staying here," James observed, grinning at her.
"And what's that? To be able to spend Christmas with you? It isn't a really ideal choice, James,"
James laughed. He didn't know why, but seeing Lily's pissed face always managed to cheer him up. (Kind of mean here huh, but oh well...)
"Aww come on, I can't be that bad can I?" He joked, trying to get her into a good mood so that he wouldn't end up getting screamed at or worse, with a broken bone.
"MmmHm..better than my pa-" Lily started, then seeming to realize what she was talking about, she shut up again.
"Better than who? Come on, tell.." James asked with curiosity.
As Lily looked into his face, she felt the sudden urge to tell. Not because her listener was James, but because she needed to pour her heart out to someone, and she didn't know whom to at that moment. She had wanted to tell Remus, but ever since their relationship changed direction, she felt differently about him.
"I..I meant staying over with my parents during the holidays. I hate those times," She mumbled, her eyes straying from the fire to James' face.
As she expected, James' eyebrows shot up. "You don't like them?" He asked, "But why? I mean- you always look like a girl with a happy family and stuff to me.." He trailed off, waiting for her explanation.
"They..my parents have been having a cold war ever since I was in my second year. My dad, he..he doesn't like me coming to Hogwarts after he realised my mum was a witch. At first he thought I was just like those muggle born witch, but when he knew i was a witch because of my bloodline, he wanted to cut off ties with the wizarding world and just lead a normal life.
On the other hand, my mum, she was adament about me finishing my education in Hogwarts. She was proud that at least one of her daughters had inherited her magic abilities. Thus, because of this issue, my mum and dad had a big quarrel and ended up..separating.
Because of all this, I'm scared. I don't want to go back to my home, if you can still call that one, and listen to all the shouting that was caused indirectly by me. Morever, my sister Petunia is now even angry at the mention of my name. She blamed me for causing the rift between Mum and dad.
Truthfully, I don't blame her..I..I think it's my fault too.." As Lily talked, she could feel the tears welling up, forming a blurred veil in front of her eyes.
Angrily, Lily brushed them away and tried to control herself. However, it was hard. The thought of her parents actually getting a divorce at that moment was still hard for her to accept. Wasn't it just not long ago when they were still one big happy family? How did it turn out like this? Was it really her fault? Her fault that her parents were no longer together?
As these thoughts ran through Lily's mind, her shoulders shook uncontrollably, and the tears started to spill out by themselves against her will. She was crying now, letting her sorrows out finally.
The tears flew, swift and fast down her cheeks. At that moment, she forgot that James was even there. All she cared about at that moment was about releasing the pent up emotions in herself.
Suddenly, she felt a pair of strong arms encircle herself. "Don't...urm, don't cry. Things will get better eventually...Lil'," James patted her head awkwardly as he held her.
He didn't know what made him do that, but after hearing her story and seeing her real self, he was overcome with a sense of protectiveness coupled with guilt (since he always played pranks on her), a sudden urge to comfort her and take away her sorrows, and before he knew it, he had reached over to her couch and hold her.
Surprised by his affectionate response, Lily did not pull away, just continued letting James hold her as silent tears streaked down her cheeks. For that moment, it felt like she was in a safe haven where no one could hurt her, and she closed her eyes, breathing in his nice scent contentedly.
For a long time, they just sat together, James holding Lily, accompanied by nothing but comfortable silence. Finally, Lily spoke, her voice muffled against James' chest.
"What about you? Why do you always stay back during the holidays?"
As Lily asked, she could feel James' arms tensed.
"My family.." He started, his eyes staring into space. "My family is broken. That's right, like yours," he added, "but in a different way. You know why I didn't attend Phoebe's party in the first year? My mum.."
At here, he made a strangled sound as he formed silent words in his throat. The memory still pained him. Lily gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.
"Look, it's ok if you don't want to continue," Lily told him, her eyes boring into his. He gulped.
"No it's fine..My mum, she was murdered by the Dark Lord," James muttered, as tears sprang to his eyes. It had been a long time since he cried. He tried to stop his tears as he took a deep breath.
"My dad was devastated after that incident. He was at work at that time, and I was at Sirius' house. My mum was all alone..and The Dark Lord murdered her. She died..she died..just like that. I didn't get to tell her I love her..I didn't get to do so many things for her. I didn't get to show her my school report..I..I miss her.." James choked on his words as his sentences became incoherent.
Roughly, he took off his glasses and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. Lily gave him a quick hug.
"Don't think too much about it..it's already over.." She soothed, but somehow, James seemed to berate himself for his mother's death.
"It was all my fault!" He cried. "Had I been at home, maybe all this wouldn't have happened..maybe I could protect my mum..maybe I could go to Heaven with her..yet, my dad still blamed himself for her death. Ever since then, he has been drowining his sorrows every night. He doesn't even care about me now. I have a messed up life now, thanks to Voldemort! I hate him!"
As James said that, his dark brown eyes flashed with anger for the first time, raw anger radiating out of him, unlike the usual times when it would be masked by humor. However, within the anger itself, Lily sensed sadness and hurt..and deep hatred.
It was not like James to show his true feelings in front of anyone, maybe even in front of himself. Lily was scared for a moment. As she looked deep into her eyes, she felt as though she could see his whole soul for the first time, as though she suddenly understood all his thoughts. Lily knew from there and then they shared a bond, a special bond.
James stood up abruptly. "I'm going up to my dorm," he told Lily in a monotone. She nodded, then reached out to give him another hug.
"Just don't think too much k? Have a good night," She gave him a small smile. He nodded curtly.
"You too." He turned towards his dorm, but halfway up the stairs, he turned back again. "And please don't tell anyone what I..told you. Thank you."
"I won't. By the way, it's Christmas tomorrow. Want to go to Hogsmeade?"
"Sure. Night."
"Night."
With that, Lily settled herself on the couches, watching the flames flicker, just like her thoughts at that moment. She sighed. She couldn't help but compare James' and her situation. Suddenly, she felt very lucky. At least her parents..were alive. As she watched the fire, it slowly died down just as her eyelids began to get heavy. Without knowing, she was in dreamland.
Ok I hope you guys like this chapter.I don't really press people for reviews before I upload a chapter..and anyway, I know the last chapter wasn't very interesting. Still, I really hope you guys will review this chapter! Please! =(
Author's Note: Sheesh, only one review for the last chapter..ok, I know it's not very interesting, but oh well, I hope there will be more reviews this time round. =(
Thanks Ti by the way (Shorti?!), and Dark-moon-Angel for reviewing my 8th chapter! I do hope you will continue reading! ^__^
Chapter Ten
That night, before the boys went to bed, Sirius, James and Peter cornered Remus into one side of the dorm.
"Out with it, Re," James started, grinning.
"With what?" Remus asked weakly, though he knew what was coming.
"Lily!" Peter exclaimed, exasperated.
"I have nothing to say about her!" Remus point-blank refused to admit that he liked Lily. He knew what would happen if he did. The whole school would know by the next day.
"You know.." Sirius told Remus thoughtfully, "Lily confessed to James she liked you, you know. I guess we will have to tell her that you don't return her feelings," Here, Sirius made an exaggerated sigh. "She will be so hurt."
James snickered. "Yeah, can you bear the thought of hurting her?"
"No way! She likes me? Oh man!" Remus suddenly grinned and hugged all his friends.
"SHE LIKES ME! OH MY GOSH! LILY LIKES ME! AHHHHH!" Remus gave James a tight hug.
"Did she tell you anything else?" Remus asked James eagerly.
James and Sirius looked at each other uncertainly.
"Uh," James gulped, "She said she liked everything about you..that you are the hottest boy she has ever seen."
"Really?"
"Uh, so you like Lily huh.."
"DUH! I'm going to sleep now guys! Oh my god! She likes me!"
"Ok now we are in deep trouble the moment Lily finds out about this," Sirius muttered.
"Not really," Peter replied. Then they three huddled together to form a plan to bring those two together. (A/N: haha!)
~*~
The next morning, as James and Lily were walking to their Astronomy lesson, James suddenly sighed. Lily looked surprised.
"What is it?"
"Sigh..I don't know if I should tell you this," James sighed again, then looked at her from the corner of his eye, "Remus, he- sigh.."
"What's up with Remus?" Lily nudged James, getting more curious by the minute.
"He..has a crush. A REALLY BIG CRUSH," James told her, waiting for her reaction.
Lily's face lit up with hope, then fell again. "So urm, who's the lucky girl?" She asked after some hesitation, trying to squash the disappointment that was welling inside her.
James took a deep breath. "He told me, she's the best person he has ever known, she can't even be compared to his best friend-" Here Lily winced, but James continued, "And of course, I, JAMES POTTER, was offended, but then again, the one he likes is his other best friend..so what can I say?"
Lily looked at James, uncertainty in her eyes. "His other best friend, best person he has ever known..me..Me..ME?! ME!!! AHH!!!" Lily squealed, then hugged James.
"THANK YOU JAMES! THANKS FOR TELLING! REMUS LIKES ME!" With that, she squealed once more and ran all the way to her lesson.
"Some friend she is," James stood there dumbfounded. "She didn't even wait for me!"
That night, in the Gryffindor common room, no one could miss the HUGE grins on both Remus' and Lily's faces. They were absolutely bursting with happiness.
Finally, Remus approached Lily. "Uh, Lily?" He asked tentatively.
Lily, who was concentrating on her Charms assignment, looked behind and saw him. "Oh Remus!" She exclaimed, and promptly dropped her quill in surprise. James and Sirius sniggered.
"Uh, yeah. Remus. I mean, yeah, I am Remus." Remus replied, equally flustered, "I was wondering if..you are free this Saturday..maybe we could go down to Hogsmeade together.."
Just then, Peter interrupted, pretending to look confused. "But you two ALWAYS go to Hogsmeade together!"
"Well, uh, yeah. That's true," Remus blabbered, while Lily turned crimson, "I was just uh, asking Lily to see if..she has other plans.."
"Nonononononono.eh, I mean, no, of course not!" Lily quickly cut in.
Remus grinned. "it's a date then," He smiled, and Lily returned it. Seeing the exchange between the two of them, James and Sirius grinned and gave each other a high five.
~*~
Saturday came. Lily, hand in hand with Remus, walked down the streets. It was nearing nine, which meant they had to return to Hogwarts soon. As both of them slowly halted to a stop, Remus took a deep breath.
"Lily," He began.
"Hmm?" Lily looked up at him, her eyes sparkling like they always did.
Slowly, Remus ran his hands through his light brown hair, confused. Should he tell her? But he took one look at her upturned face, and he took a deep breath.
"Lily, I..I like you."
Lily looked surprised; she hadn't expected Remus to confess to her on their first date, and certainly not a time like that. Jeez, none of the romance novels she read had ever been so unromantic, Lily thought. Why didn't he wait till like, he saved her from some danger, then confessed to her?
Nevertheless, Lily was determined to make her first romance romantic. With a small smile, she gave Remus a totally unexpected kiss on his lips.
Remus jumped. He had expected her to confess too, or just to hug him. The kiss totally caught him off guard. Still, he kissed back hesitantly.
Lily could feel Remus' warm lips still on hers. It was a strange feeling, yet it held no sparks, like how the romance novels depicted. She felt happy, though. The kiss was warm and reassuring, just like Remus. Slowly, she pulled back, and gave Remus a smile, a happy smile.
Remus' heart leapt when she smiled at him. He returned it with a stupid daft grin, and gave her a hug before walking into the direction of Hogwarts.
When they came back, James, Sirius, Peter and Phoebe were already seated in the common room expecting them and eagerly awaiting their return.
"So how was it?" Phoebe asked slyly.
"How was what?" Lily answered her question with another one, trying to avoid the unavoidable question.
"C'mon guys! How was your date?" Sirius pressed on.
Remus smiled, and Lily shrugged. She was still thinking about their kiss, thinking about how she could have made her first kiss more romantic.
Lily yawned. "I'm going up to bed. I'm tired. Night Remus. Night everyone," She muttered, and walked up the stairs.
"Ok, so what did you do to her?" James asked, worried.
"I don't know! I mean, we kissed, then after that kiss, she smiled, but during the walk back, she started to turn moody," Remus confided, his face falling.
"Well, Lily is a sucker for romance; we all know that," Peter commented. Phoebe nodded fervently.
"She has always been telling me how wonderful her first kiss would be like. Like the one for her will be her knight in shining amour or something like that," Phoebe added.
Sirius sniggered. "Sheesh," He laughed, "I can't imagine Remus in any type of amour."
Remus' face turned sour. "Ah shut up Sirius. Maybe I..didn't make it romantic enough for her.."
"Hmm, buddy, cheer up. Things like that require fate. You don't have to MAKE it," James patted his back sympathetically.
"I guess so," Remus sighed.
~*~
Slowly, Lily got used to having Remus around, not as a best friend, but as a boyfriend. Sure, she got teased and all, but she still stuck by him.
Before they all knew it, it was nearing Christmas, and they each returned to their own home respectively. Lily had been acting strange all day, and it had worried Remus, so he had told James to take care of her on his behalf. However, James was baffled.
"How do you expect me to? I mean, why me?" He had asked.
"She is-" Here Remus was cut off by Lily, who then gave him a light kiss on the lips and shoo-ed him into the train. He beamed and waved goodbye to her, apparently all thoughts of James forgotten. James groaned.
That night, James trudged into the Gryffindor common room wearily, having just finished sending Peter, Sirius and Phoebe home (Remus was with Lily).
"I wonder how I'm going to waste my time this holidays -again-," James muttered to himself as he told the fat lady the password dully. To further irritate him, she gave a big beam.
"Staying over for the holidays again, Mr. Potter? Well I hope you have fun then! And it's indeed the password!" She smiled as she swung open the door. James gave an irritated grunt in response, and entered the common room, intending to spend the night on one of those cozy couches again.
However, to his surprise, there was already someone sitting here, and that person was no other than-
"Lily! What are you doing here?" James asked in surprise, half-happy that he wasn't going to spend another holiday alone in Hogwarts like before. Lily, though not on close terms with him, was better than nobody anyway.
"Well, everyone's got to be somewhere. I just choose to be here," Lily answered grumpily, staring into the fire, with a book on her lap, forgotten.
"That's true. At least you have something to look forward to while staying here," James observed, grinning at her.
"And what's that? To be able to spend Christmas with you? It isn't a really ideal choice, James,"
James laughed. He didn't know why, but seeing Lily's pissed face always managed to cheer him up. (Kind of mean here huh, but oh well...)
"Aww come on, I can't be that bad can I?" He joked, trying to get her into a good mood so that he wouldn't end up getting screamed at or worse, with a broken bone.
"MmmHm..better than my pa-" Lily started, then seeming to realize what she was talking about, she shut up again.
"Better than who? Come on, tell.." James asked with curiosity.
As Lily looked into his face, she felt the sudden urge to tell. Not because her listener was James, but because she needed to pour her heart out to someone, and she didn't know whom to at that moment. She had wanted to tell Remus, but ever since their relationship changed direction, she felt differently about him.
"I..I meant staying over with my parents during the holidays. I hate those times," She mumbled, her eyes straying from the fire to James' face.
As she expected, James' eyebrows shot up. "You don't like them?" He asked, "But why? I mean- you always look like a girl with a happy family and stuff to me.." He trailed off, waiting for her explanation.
"They..my parents have been having a cold war ever since I was in my second year. My dad, he..he doesn't like me coming to Hogwarts after he realised my mum was a witch. At first he thought I was just like those muggle born witch, but when he knew i was a witch because of my bloodline, he wanted to cut off ties with the wizarding world and just lead a normal life.
On the other hand, my mum, she was adament about me finishing my education in Hogwarts. She was proud that at least one of her daughters had inherited her magic abilities. Thus, because of this issue, my mum and dad had a big quarrel and ended up..separating.
Because of all this, I'm scared. I don't want to go back to my home, if you can still call that one, and listen to all the shouting that was caused indirectly by me. Morever, my sister Petunia is now even angry at the mention of my name. She blamed me for causing the rift between Mum and dad.
Truthfully, I don't blame her..I..I think it's my fault too.." As Lily talked, she could feel the tears welling up, forming a blurred veil in front of her eyes.
Angrily, Lily brushed them away and tried to control herself. However, it was hard. The thought of her parents actually getting a divorce at that moment was still hard for her to accept. Wasn't it just not long ago when they were still one big happy family? How did it turn out like this? Was it really her fault? Her fault that her parents were no longer together?
As these thoughts ran through Lily's mind, her shoulders shook uncontrollably, and the tears started to spill out by themselves against her will. She was crying now, letting her sorrows out finally.
The tears flew, swift and fast down her cheeks. At that moment, she forgot that James was even there. All she cared about at that moment was about releasing the pent up emotions in herself.
Suddenly, she felt a pair of strong arms encircle herself. "Don't...urm, don't cry. Things will get better eventually...Lil'," James patted her head awkwardly as he held her.
He didn't know what made him do that, but after hearing her story and seeing her real self, he was overcome with a sense of protectiveness coupled with guilt (since he always played pranks on her), a sudden urge to comfort her and take away her sorrows, and before he knew it, he had reached over to her couch and hold her.
Surprised by his affectionate response, Lily did not pull away, just continued letting James hold her as silent tears streaked down her cheeks. For that moment, it felt like she was in a safe haven where no one could hurt her, and she closed her eyes, breathing in his nice scent contentedly.
For a long time, they just sat together, James holding Lily, accompanied by nothing but comfortable silence. Finally, Lily spoke, her voice muffled against James' chest.
"What about you? Why do you always stay back during the holidays?"
As Lily asked, she could feel James' arms tensed.
"My family.." He started, his eyes staring into space. "My family is broken. That's right, like yours," he added, "but in a different way. You know why I didn't attend Phoebe's party in the first year? My mum.."
At here, he made a strangled sound as he formed silent words in his throat. The memory still pained him. Lily gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.
"Look, it's ok if you don't want to continue," Lily told him, her eyes boring into his. He gulped.
"No it's fine..My mum, she was murdered by the Dark Lord," James muttered, as tears sprang to his eyes. It had been a long time since he cried. He tried to stop his tears as he took a deep breath.
"My dad was devastated after that incident. He was at work at that time, and I was at Sirius' house. My mum was all alone..and The Dark Lord murdered her. She died..she died..just like that. I didn't get to tell her I love her..I didn't get to do so many things for her. I didn't get to show her my school report..I..I miss her.." James choked on his words as his sentences became incoherent.
Roughly, he took off his glasses and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. Lily gave him a quick hug.
"Don't think too much about it..it's already over.." She soothed, but somehow, James seemed to berate himself for his mother's death.
"It was all my fault!" He cried. "Had I been at home, maybe all this wouldn't have happened..maybe I could protect my mum..maybe I could go to Heaven with her..yet, my dad still blamed himself for her death. Ever since then, he has been drowining his sorrows every night. He doesn't even care about me now. I have a messed up life now, thanks to Voldemort! I hate him!"
As James said that, his dark brown eyes flashed with anger for the first time, raw anger radiating out of him, unlike the usual times when it would be masked by humor. However, within the anger itself, Lily sensed sadness and hurt..and deep hatred.
It was not like James to show his true feelings in front of anyone, maybe even in front of himself. Lily was scared for a moment. As she looked deep into her eyes, she felt as though she could see his whole soul for the first time, as though she suddenly understood all his thoughts. Lily knew from there and then they shared a bond, a special bond.
James stood up abruptly. "I'm going up to my dorm," he told Lily in a monotone. She nodded, then reached out to give him another hug.
"Just don't think too much k? Have a good night," She gave him a small smile. He nodded curtly.
"You too." He turned towards his dorm, but halfway up the stairs, he turned back again. "And please don't tell anyone what I..told you. Thank you."
"I won't. By the way, it's Christmas tomorrow. Want to go to Hogsmeade?"
"Sure. Night."
"Night."
With that, Lily settled herself on the couches, watching the flames flicker, just like her thoughts at that moment. She sighed. She couldn't help but compare James' and her situation. Suddenly, she felt very lucky. At least her parents..were alive. As she watched the fire, it slowly died down just as her eyelids began to get heavy. Without knowing, she was in dreamland.
Ok I hope you guys like this chapter.I don't really press people for reviews before I upload a chapter..and anyway, I know the last chapter wasn't very interesting. Still, I really hope you guys will review this chapter! Please! =(