On to chapter 3! I kinda had writer's block on this chapter, because I was
distracted with Christmas shopping, and I get over-generous, so I now owe
my dad money for a month. ^_^;; So, again, this chapter sucks. Please
forgive me, I don't have time to be inspired! And if you are hyper while
you read this, it will help. A lot.
Thank you to fani90 and Cettie-girl for reviewing!
Notes: If I don't finish this story by Christmas, which I doubt I will, it'll be okay if I prolong the Christmas spirit for a little while, right? And also, the pairings may seem a little rushed. Or they might have no details whatsoever, because I'm focusing this fic on Yami and Bakura. I will consider writing side-stories for this later, though. Can't say anything about what the ratings will be, yet. . . .
Warnings: Tea bashing, implied yaoi, various other character bashing (c'mon, it's Bakura)
#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
Chapter 3: Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree
~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*
DING DONG!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Bakura?"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
DIIIINNNNG DOOONNNNG!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Bakuurra?"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
DDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG DDDDDDOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG!!!!!!!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Bakkuuurrrrrraaaaaa. . ."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
WHAM WHAM WHAM!
"-BAKURA-!"
"CHIKUSHO, YAMI, OPEN THE FRICKING DOOR! I'M STUCK OUT HERE FREEZING OFF MY- -"
The door of the house nextdoor opened up.
"Bad temper?" said a smirking multicolored head, sticking out.
I blinked, looking from Yami to the house I was currently in front of and back again. Wait. . . . .
"Um, I -was- trying to tell you that you had the wrong house," offered Ryou quietly, hiding his face behind his hand so as not to betray his giggling.
. . . . . . . . WHAT?!
Yami didn't bother holding it in and openly cracked up.
"You'd think the big sign that says 'GAME' above the door would give you a clue, baka!"
"I CAN'T -READ- IT, YOU *******!" I fumed.
I swear to Ra, one of these days, I'm going to snap and murder -all- of these people while laughing hysterically!
On the other hand, I could pretend to snap now and. . . . . . . .Oh yeah, that one -definitely- wins. I'm such a genius! Go me!
I let out an enraged screech (I'm such a good actor) and launched my self at Yami, tackling him (feeling him up, of course) and bringing us both crashing down the stairs.
. . . . . . . -Ouch-.
What a stupid place to put concrete steps.
Okay, maybe that -wasn't- such a good idea. Everyone has to screw up sometimes.
Yes, even inlcuding those of us that are perfect.
. . . . . . . . . . Of course I'm perfect, where have -you- been?! Okay, you know what?! I'm sick and tired of your critisism and slander against me! If you don't have anything nice to say, go insult Tea!
Hmph.
I get off of Yami nonchalantly without even punching him, leaving him, Ryou, and Yugi, who has just come out the door, very discombobulated.
I love that word.
It means confused, for any of you who are not flawless like moi and have a very limited vocabulary.
"Well?! Are we going to go get the k'so tree or what?!" I demand impatiently. Actually I couldn't care less about the stupid tree. I just want to drive the Hummer.
About that, where in Ra's name is the old geezer who runs this pathetic gameshop going to get a Hummer?! That's what -I- want to know! As long as I get to drive it, though, I won't bring up anything about the blackmarket. . . . . . until we're home, that is.
After a year or two, Yami finally stops staring at me and gets off the ground. He wordlessly (although, I dare say, Yugi and Ryou are talking quite enough for the four of us. . . hmm, suspiscious. . . it occurred to me that since -I'm- gay, Ryou probably is too, and if -he's- gay and attracted to -Yugi-, then I'll -have- to spend more time with Yami, and eventually I'll get laid! -But-, if I spend time with him, I might get -attached- to him, and then there might be ::shiver:: -emotions- involved, and then our relationship would come to a screeching halt because I would have no idea what to do and I would have to stop trying to take the Puzzle and I might go crazy and hurt Ryou or Yugi or go be a mass murderer and a wave of terror would sweep the nation and country western music would be playing everywhere and everyone would commit suicide and it would be the end of the world as we know it! . . . Forget about that though, all that -really- matters is that I'll get to screw Yami senseless! Booyah! All that depends on Ryou falling in love with Yugi, though. . . Remind me to look into this later. Uh oh! I almost overran my typical American 15 second attention span! Warn me next time, why don't you?!) leads us around back to the car.
I take a deep breath, and then turn around the corner where the beautiful, high-tech (reminder to self: go swipe a Sean Paul Navigator as soon as they make one in Japan) metal shrine to Ra is waiting!
IT'S ABSOLUTELY GLORIUS!
Although, I didn't remember the one on the commercial being so small. Or having that rusty, 50s look, with two flat tires. Or having tacky, hot-pink fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror, or being such a barf-green shade. Or missing the bumper, one of the headlights, and the antenna.
. . . . . . . . . . Ra help me.
I'm about to drive a Yugo.
@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@
For anyone who doesn't know what a Yugo looks like, think 'cardboard box' and you're getting pretty close. Ryou is -so- gonna have hell to pay for this!
I am currently sitting crammed underneath Yami (that part I'm not complaining about, although I think he's doing all these rough swerves and twisting around in his seat so much to get me hard on purpose) due to the fact that there are only TWO FRIGGIN SEATS IN THIS ACCURSED PIECE OF CRAP, -and- I don't even get to drive it!
-Yami- does, because he's shorter (hence why he's sitting on top), more trustworthy, and has only gotten 1 ticket since Yugi taught him how to drive! That is -so- unfair! 1 ticket, 37 tickets, what's the big difference?! He won't even do wheelies, run through red lights, drive backwards, -or- flick off cops while going 50 miles over the speed limit and tossing weed out the window!
Party pooper.
Also, the only radio station that will come in plays -classical- ::shudder::, and the heat just barely works.
No heat is just another perk to our seating arrangement, though.
Next to me, Yugi (ha ha, Yugi sounds like Yugo, and they're -both- tiny and annoying!) is sitting on Ryou's lap, talking animatedly to him.
Okay, just a totally off-subject thought here, but when do we ever -not- talk animatedly! We -are- animated, duh!
. . . . . . . . . . . . Apparently I wasn't supposed to know that. Oh, shut up, why don't you?!
Anyway, he's getting quite close to Ryou, and I would probably have them start something, if it wasn't for the hunk of pure hotness currently sitting on top of me.
Come to think of it, I don't think I hate this car so much after all.
I'm still jacking a Navigator though.
By Ra, are we there -yet-? Are we even still in -Japan-? It's been what 25 minutes?! I haven't got my whole life to waste away, you know!
Okay, so -technically- I already -did- waste my life away, and -tecnically- I'm -not- alive -anyway-. . . I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!
AAAARRRRGH!
"We're here," said Captain Enthusiasm, softly stopping the car. If -I- had been driving, I would've given him some serious whiplash!
Which is another reason I'm not driving.
. . . . . . . . Kso.
We all get out of the car and look around.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . What. The. Hell.
I just got deprived of Yami's body to look at some stupid -FOREST-?! RA! There were trees JUST LIKE THESE in the backyard a few houses down! But -NOOOO-, we have to come halfway around the -world- to get a stupid -tree- -here-, so that we can put it -inside- for -Christmas-.
Sigh.
I don't think I will ever understand mortals. Maybe I should move to America, where people are -normal-. Or at least more like -me-.
Sigh again.
It's really cold out here.
I hate winter.
I think I mentioned that before.
Okay, so now we're being given an ax and directed to the forest.
Um, I can find the forest on my own buddy, I'm not a blind old coot like you. Hey! They just gave the ax to Ryou! Not fair!
Hmph.
I am -so- underappreciated around here.
Okay, so now we're going into the mini-forest. These trees are crap. They all have these little green needle things on them, why doesn't Ryou want a palm tree instead?
. . . . . . . Oh. I see. Palm trees are not -traditional-. Well, up yours, Ryou! They're traditional in -Egypt-!
The Pharoah seems to agree with me, looking at the weirded out expression on his face.
Yugi is still talking, Ryou picks a tree, I tell him it sucks, Yugi is -still- talking, Yami is ignoring us, Ryou picks another tree, I tell him that one sucks too, Yugi is -STILL- talking, and on, and on, and on. . . . . .
I'm bored.
Yes Ryou, -that- tree sucks too.
No, Ryou, I could -not- care less about which tree you pick.
No, Ryou, I'm -not- sorry for not saying so before.
Yes, Ryou, I -am- bored out of my skull.
Yes Ryou, I -do- want to go home.
No, Ryou, I--hold up.
-Socks- for the -fireplace-?!
-Please- tell me this is all a bad dream!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Sigh. Evidently it's -not- just a nightmare, and it's snowing again.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . My life is a joke.
$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$
TBC
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Yes, it sucked. Yes, the ending was rushed. Yes, I am out of ideas. SO HELP ME HERE! I know what I want to happen, but have no fillers in between! Please review and give me your ideas!
Thank you to fani90 and Cettie-girl for reviewing!
Notes: If I don't finish this story by Christmas, which I doubt I will, it'll be okay if I prolong the Christmas spirit for a little while, right? And also, the pairings may seem a little rushed. Or they might have no details whatsoever, because I'm focusing this fic on Yami and Bakura. I will consider writing side-stories for this later, though. Can't say anything about what the ratings will be, yet. . . .
Warnings: Tea bashing, implied yaoi, various other character bashing (c'mon, it's Bakura)
#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
Chapter 3: Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree
~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*
DING DONG!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Bakura?"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
DIIIINNNNG DOOONNNNG!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Bakuurra?"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
DDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG DDDDDDOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG!!!!!!!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Bakkuuurrrrrraaaaaa. . ."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
WHAM WHAM WHAM!
"-BAKURA-!"
"CHIKUSHO, YAMI, OPEN THE FRICKING DOOR! I'M STUCK OUT HERE FREEZING OFF MY- -"
The door of the house nextdoor opened up.
"Bad temper?" said a smirking multicolored head, sticking out.
I blinked, looking from Yami to the house I was currently in front of and back again. Wait. . . . .
"Um, I -was- trying to tell you that you had the wrong house," offered Ryou quietly, hiding his face behind his hand so as not to betray his giggling.
. . . . . . . . WHAT?!
Yami didn't bother holding it in and openly cracked up.
"You'd think the big sign that says 'GAME' above the door would give you a clue, baka!"
"I CAN'T -READ- IT, YOU *******!" I fumed.
I swear to Ra, one of these days, I'm going to snap and murder -all- of these people while laughing hysterically!
On the other hand, I could pretend to snap now and. . . . . . . .Oh yeah, that one -definitely- wins. I'm such a genius! Go me!
I let out an enraged screech (I'm such a good actor) and launched my self at Yami, tackling him (feeling him up, of course) and bringing us both crashing down the stairs.
. . . . . . . -Ouch-.
What a stupid place to put concrete steps.
Okay, maybe that -wasn't- such a good idea. Everyone has to screw up sometimes.
Yes, even inlcuding those of us that are perfect.
. . . . . . . . . . Of course I'm perfect, where have -you- been?! Okay, you know what?! I'm sick and tired of your critisism and slander against me! If you don't have anything nice to say, go insult Tea!
Hmph.
I get off of Yami nonchalantly without even punching him, leaving him, Ryou, and Yugi, who has just come out the door, very discombobulated.
I love that word.
It means confused, for any of you who are not flawless like moi and have a very limited vocabulary.
"Well?! Are we going to go get the k'so tree or what?!" I demand impatiently. Actually I couldn't care less about the stupid tree. I just want to drive the Hummer.
About that, where in Ra's name is the old geezer who runs this pathetic gameshop going to get a Hummer?! That's what -I- want to know! As long as I get to drive it, though, I won't bring up anything about the blackmarket. . . . . . until we're home, that is.
After a year or two, Yami finally stops staring at me and gets off the ground. He wordlessly (although, I dare say, Yugi and Ryou are talking quite enough for the four of us. . . hmm, suspiscious. . . it occurred to me that since -I'm- gay, Ryou probably is too, and if -he's- gay and attracted to -Yugi-, then I'll -have- to spend more time with Yami, and eventually I'll get laid! -But-, if I spend time with him, I might get -attached- to him, and then there might be ::shiver:: -emotions- involved, and then our relationship would come to a screeching halt because I would have no idea what to do and I would have to stop trying to take the Puzzle and I might go crazy and hurt Ryou or Yugi or go be a mass murderer and a wave of terror would sweep the nation and country western music would be playing everywhere and everyone would commit suicide and it would be the end of the world as we know it! . . . Forget about that though, all that -really- matters is that I'll get to screw Yami senseless! Booyah! All that depends on Ryou falling in love with Yugi, though. . . Remind me to look into this later. Uh oh! I almost overran my typical American 15 second attention span! Warn me next time, why don't you?!) leads us around back to the car.
I take a deep breath, and then turn around the corner where the beautiful, high-tech (reminder to self: go swipe a Sean Paul Navigator as soon as they make one in Japan) metal shrine to Ra is waiting!
IT'S ABSOLUTELY GLORIUS!
Although, I didn't remember the one on the commercial being so small. Or having that rusty, 50s look, with two flat tires. Or having tacky, hot-pink fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror, or being such a barf-green shade. Or missing the bumper, one of the headlights, and the antenna.
. . . . . . . . . . Ra help me.
I'm about to drive a Yugo.
@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@
For anyone who doesn't know what a Yugo looks like, think 'cardboard box' and you're getting pretty close. Ryou is -so- gonna have hell to pay for this!
I am currently sitting crammed underneath Yami (that part I'm not complaining about, although I think he's doing all these rough swerves and twisting around in his seat so much to get me hard on purpose) due to the fact that there are only TWO FRIGGIN SEATS IN THIS ACCURSED PIECE OF CRAP, -and- I don't even get to drive it!
-Yami- does, because he's shorter (hence why he's sitting on top), more trustworthy, and has only gotten 1 ticket since Yugi taught him how to drive! That is -so- unfair! 1 ticket, 37 tickets, what's the big difference?! He won't even do wheelies, run through red lights, drive backwards, -or- flick off cops while going 50 miles over the speed limit and tossing weed out the window!
Party pooper.
Also, the only radio station that will come in plays -classical- ::shudder::, and the heat just barely works.
No heat is just another perk to our seating arrangement, though.
Next to me, Yugi (ha ha, Yugi sounds like Yugo, and they're -both- tiny and annoying!) is sitting on Ryou's lap, talking animatedly to him.
Okay, just a totally off-subject thought here, but when do we ever -not- talk animatedly! We -are- animated, duh!
. . . . . . . . . . . . Apparently I wasn't supposed to know that. Oh, shut up, why don't you?!
Anyway, he's getting quite close to Ryou, and I would probably have them start something, if it wasn't for the hunk of pure hotness currently sitting on top of me.
Come to think of it, I don't think I hate this car so much after all.
I'm still jacking a Navigator though.
By Ra, are we there -yet-? Are we even still in -Japan-? It's been what 25 minutes?! I haven't got my whole life to waste away, you know!
Okay, so -technically- I already -did- waste my life away, and -tecnically- I'm -not- alive -anyway-. . . I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!
AAAARRRRGH!
"We're here," said Captain Enthusiasm, softly stopping the car. If -I- had been driving, I would've given him some serious whiplash!
Which is another reason I'm not driving.
. . . . . . . . Kso.
We all get out of the car and look around.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . What. The. Hell.
I just got deprived of Yami's body to look at some stupid -FOREST-?! RA! There were trees JUST LIKE THESE in the backyard a few houses down! But -NOOOO-, we have to come halfway around the -world- to get a stupid -tree- -here-, so that we can put it -inside- for -Christmas-.
Sigh.
I don't think I will ever understand mortals. Maybe I should move to America, where people are -normal-. Or at least more like -me-.
Sigh again.
It's really cold out here.
I hate winter.
I think I mentioned that before.
Okay, so now we're being given an ax and directed to the forest.
Um, I can find the forest on my own buddy, I'm not a blind old coot like you. Hey! They just gave the ax to Ryou! Not fair!
Hmph.
I am -so- underappreciated around here.
Okay, so now we're going into the mini-forest. These trees are crap. They all have these little green needle things on them, why doesn't Ryou want a palm tree instead?
. . . . . . . Oh. I see. Palm trees are not -traditional-. Well, up yours, Ryou! They're traditional in -Egypt-!
The Pharoah seems to agree with me, looking at the weirded out expression on his face.
Yugi is still talking, Ryou picks a tree, I tell him it sucks, Yugi is -still- talking, Yami is ignoring us, Ryou picks another tree, I tell him that one sucks too, Yugi is -STILL- talking, and on, and on, and on. . . . . .
I'm bored.
Yes Ryou, -that- tree sucks too.
No, Ryou, I could -not- care less about which tree you pick.
No, Ryou, I'm -not- sorry for not saying so before.
Yes, Ryou, I -am- bored out of my skull.
Yes Ryou, I -do- want to go home.
No, Ryou, I--hold up.
-Socks- for the -fireplace-?!
-Please- tell me this is all a bad dream!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Sigh. Evidently it's -not- just a nightmare, and it's snowing again.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . My life is a joke.
$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$
TBC
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Yes, it sucked. Yes, the ending was rushed. Yes, I am out of ideas. SO HELP ME HERE! I know what I want to happen, but have no fillers in between! Please review and give me your ideas!