Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Part 4
Author: Rhasa
Category: Angst/Romance.
Rating: PG 13
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Not mine, no money being made and all that.
Summary: Max still wrestles with her confusion.
Author's note: I've said it before.. This is going to be an angst-fest. If it's action and hot monkey sex on every page you're after best bail out now. If however you enjoy angst and romance, and character development and exploration... If you, like me, enjoy the chase then maybe this will appeal to you.
Between the Devil and the Deep blue Sea part 4
By Rhasa
"Why? Why bring Alec into this," Max asked angrily. "This is about us. This has nothing to do with Alec."
"Like it or not Max, Alec is in this. It has everything to do about Alec."
Max swung to look at him, trying to read his eyes, to understand just what it was that he feeling. "You're jealous," she finally said, pinning him with an accusing glare. He dropped his gaze at her words and Max knew then that her instincts were right. If he had been any other man, she would've have kicked his ass right there and then. Not once had she given him reason to not trust her when it came to Alec. His jealousy wasn't due to anything she had done - but to his own perceived inadequacies. Against an alpha transgenic male like Alec, Logan was only half a man. Being paralysed on top of that made him even less.
"There's nothing going on between me and Alec," she said. "Alec and I aren't like that." Technically speaking what she was saying was true. Maybe if she said it enough times she'd really believe it.
"Funny," Logan scoffed. "That's what you used to say about us," he threw back at her.
"What is it that you want from me, Logan?" She asked. She couldn't escape the sensation of her heart twisting inside her chest. Why did he have to make it so difficult? Why did everything have to be so hard when it came to Logan?
"I want a lot of things," he answered.
"You're pushing me away," she said truthfully, her eyes filling with tears.
"I'm not pushing you anywhere, where you don't already want to go," he said sadly.
"That's not fair," Max turned on him. "I've never done anything to make you not trust me."
"I know that, Max. But that doesn't mean that what I'm saying isn't true."
Max stood and stared. Her instincts were screaming at her to run. She didn't have to take his accusations or his shit. What was she waiting for? Why was she punishing herself like this? She'd walked out on Logan many times before for much less. She had every right to walk out on him now. But she found herself rooted to the spot nevertheless. She couldn't leave, not yet... not until there was a sign..not until she knew.. not until she knew if she was ever going to come back again.
Logan saw the emotions warring inside of her.
"I think you should go to him," he said, quietly defeated.
"What?"
"I think you should go to Alec," he explained. He looked into her eyes. "I love you Max," he whispered, his own words strangled with emotion. "I always have and I'm pretty sure I always will-"
"Logan, please-" she began, the tears coming in earnest now.
"But I think you should go to him... And find out for sure... Find out for sure who it is that you're in love with."
"Logan I do love you," she told him, it was more of a plea than a declaration.
"Go to him. Sleep with him. Don't sleep with him. The particulars don't really matter."
"Logan-"
"Max, go to him and find out.. find out who you're *in* love with. Then if you come back to me.." he choked. "Then if you come back to me, I'll know. I'll know for sure."
"And if I don't come back?" she asked after a moment's silence, anger suddenly replacing her confusion and heartache.
"Then I guess I'll have to comfort myself with that old saying, 'it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all'."
TBC
Yeah yeah yeah. I hear you. Many of you wanted me to get to the 'good' stuff. But I had to resolve this little thing between Logan and Max before Max and Alec see each other again which made for a really short chapter. Next one will be a lot longer - I promise.
I know, I know, nothing is really resolved. I guess the ball is in Max's court so to speak.
I know many of you think that Logan is a sleeze. Funny, that's not how I saw him during the show, but now I having my doubts.... don't know why. I keep wondering just why it is that so many DA fans see that Max and Alec should be together at all. Maybe because the seeds of the idea were panted in the episode "love amongst the ruins" with Max pretending that her and Alec were together. Would people have thought about this if it hadn't had been somewhat explored by the show? Or would people naturally want to see Max and Alec hook up because they seemed so similar --- ie, young, attractive, both transgenics etc etc. Is it just a physical thing????? What ever happened to opposites attract? Just a thought.... drop me a line with your views I'd love to hear them.
A Note about Feedback: I would love to hear from each and every one of you. It's funny, I'm getting all of these emails to my yahoo account, saying "I never review because I can never think of anything to say but.." Which go on to say the nicest and most constructive things. So keep it up. I really appreciate ALL your comments. And if you have been unsure of yourself and what you should say in a review in the past which has prevented you from reviewing, start with baby steps. Start by saying: I read it. I liked... or I didn't like...or whatever.
For me, the next best thing to writing fic is having a dialogue with people about the fic I've just written.
For those people who have asked me about my other DA series "Today They Won the Battle" (which if you are a M/A and or angst fan I highly recommend), I've kind of hit writer's block but am working on the final 2 chapters. Once again, if you have any and I mean ANY suggestions on where that should go (other than straight to the hot monkey sex) than drop me a line.
Til next time
Rhasa aka Sarah
For those of you who have asked about directly emailing you each chapter, if you read these at Fanfiction net and you have a log on name there you can set it up to notify each time I post. Just go to Author Alerts. That way you won't miss a chapter.
Author: Rhasa
Category: Angst/Romance.
Rating: PG 13
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Not mine, no money being made and all that.
Summary: Max still wrestles with her confusion.
Author's note: I've said it before.. This is going to be an angst-fest. If it's action and hot monkey sex on every page you're after best bail out now. If however you enjoy angst and romance, and character development and exploration... If you, like me, enjoy the chase then maybe this will appeal to you.
Between the Devil and the Deep blue Sea part 4
By Rhasa
"Why? Why bring Alec into this," Max asked angrily. "This is about us. This has nothing to do with Alec."
"Like it or not Max, Alec is in this. It has everything to do about Alec."
Max swung to look at him, trying to read his eyes, to understand just what it was that he feeling. "You're jealous," she finally said, pinning him with an accusing glare. He dropped his gaze at her words and Max knew then that her instincts were right. If he had been any other man, she would've have kicked his ass right there and then. Not once had she given him reason to not trust her when it came to Alec. His jealousy wasn't due to anything she had done - but to his own perceived inadequacies. Against an alpha transgenic male like Alec, Logan was only half a man. Being paralysed on top of that made him even less.
"There's nothing going on between me and Alec," she said. "Alec and I aren't like that." Technically speaking what she was saying was true. Maybe if she said it enough times she'd really believe it.
"Funny," Logan scoffed. "That's what you used to say about us," he threw back at her.
"What is it that you want from me, Logan?" She asked. She couldn't escape the sensation of her heart twisting inside her chest. Why did he have to make it so difficult? Why did everything have to be so hard when it came to Logan?
"I want a lot of things," he answered.
"You're pushing me away," she said truthfully, her eyes filling with tears.
"I'm not pushing you anywhere, where you don't already want to go," he said sadly.
"That's not fair," Max turned on him. "I've never done anything to make you not trust me."
"I know that, Max. But that doesn't mean that what I'm saying isn't true."
Max stood and stared. Her instincts were screaming at her to run. She didn't have to take his accusations or his shit. What was she waiting for? Why was she punishing herself like this? She'd walked out on Logan many times before for much less. She had every right to walk out on him now. But she found herself rooted to the spot nevertheless. She couldn't leave, not yet... not until there was a sign..not until she knew.. not until she knew if she was ever going to come back again.
Logan saw the emotions warring inside of her.
"I think you should go to him," he said, quietly defeated.
"What?"
"I think you should go to Alec," he explained. He looked into her eyes. "I love you Max," he whispered, his own words strangled with emotion. "I always have and I'm pretty sure I always will-"
"Logan, please-" she began, the tears coming in earnest now.
"But I think you should go to him... And find out for sure... Find out for sure who it is that you're in love with."
"Logan I do love you," she told him, it was more of a plea than a declaration.
"Go to him. Sleep with him. Don't sleep with him. The particulars don't really matter."
"Logan-"
"Max, go to him and find out.. find out who you're *in* love with. Then if you come back to me.." he choked. "Then if you come back to me, I'll know. I'll know for sure."
"And if I don't come back?" she asked after a moment's silence, anger suddenly replacing her confusion and heartache.
"Then I guess I'll have to comfort myself with that old saying, 'it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all'."
TBC
Yeah yeah yeah. I hear you. Many of you wanted me to get to the 'good' stuff. But I had to resolve this little thing between Logan and Max before Max and Alec see each other again which made for a really short chapter. Next one will be a lot longer - I promise.
I know, I know, nothing is really resolved. I guess the ball is in Max's court so to speak.
I know many of you think that Logan is a sleeze. Funny, that's not how I saw him during the show, but now I having my doubts.... don't know why. I keep wondering just why it is that so many DA fans see that Max and Alec should be together at all. Maybe because the seeds of the idea were panted in the episode "love amongst the ruins" with Max pretending that her and Alec were together. Would people have thought about this if it hadn't had been somewhat explored by the show? Or would people naturally want to see Max and Alec hook up because they seemed so similar --- ie, young, attractive, both transgenics etc etc. Is it just a physical thing????? What ever happened to opposites attract? Just a thought.... drop me a line with your views I'd love to hear them.
A Note about Feedback: I would love to hear from each and every one of you. It's funny, I'm getting all of these emails to my yahoo account, saying "I never review because I can never think of anything to say but.." Which go on to say the nicest and most constructive things. So keep it up. I really appreciate ALL your comments. And if you have been unsure of yourself and what you should say in a review in the past which has prevented you from reviewing, start with baby steps. Start by saying: I read it. I liked... or I didn't like...or whatever.
For me, the next best thing to writing fic is having a dialogue with people about the fic I've just written.
For those people who have asked me about my other DA series "Today They Won the Battle" (which if you are a M/A and or angst fan I highly recommend), I've kind of hit writer's block but am working on the final 2 chapters. Once again, if you have any and I mean ANY suggestions on where that should go (other than straight to the hot monkey sex) than drop me a line.
Til next time
Rhasa aka Sarah
For those of you who have asked about directly emailing you each chapter, if you read these at Fanfiction net and you have a log on name there you can set it up to notify each time I post. Just go to Author Alerts. That way you won't miss a chapter.