Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own RK or any of the American Pie stories, but hey, this one is my original idea since the creators of the American Pie movie haven't come up with this yet! Haha, I beat them to it! Enjoy!
Prologue
"I think we're early..." Yahiko said earnestly, his hand still holding onto the brass doorknob he had just opened, and he looked back at the cheap K-mart watch on his wrist.
It read 2:34 pm. Turning back into the house, he took a step inside and tugged on Misao's hand for her to follow suit. The house was completely quiet, all the lights were off, and no one was in sight. Checking again, Yahiko called out another 'hello' into the empty house, but again received no response.
Shrugging his shoulders, he closed the door behind them, and scanned his dark eyes over the house he had grown up in with his grandfather and older brother. It looked just like it had when he left it only a little over a year ago for college and of course, not at all surprising to Yahiko, Okina had even taken the "liberty" of leaving his dirty magazines out for everyone to see.
"Eheheh... sorry about that," Yahiko chuckled nervously to his girlfriend and he swiftly lifted the playboy magazine up and tossed it into a corner of the living room, "Grandpa's kind of um... how would I put this? Sexually charged for his age? Yeah, really really sexually charged."
"You mean he's horny?" Misao automatically translated for him and at her boyfriend's embarrassed nod, she smiled and grabbed a fist full of his ass, which Yahiko had actually gotten quite used to by now, "Yeah, people are always horny, no matter how old you get. I think this is gonna be great though, reunions are always fun! Now I finally get to meet your family!"
"They're actually not that great..." Yahiko muttered under his breath as he remember a not-so-amusing incident that happened at a family camp trip a few years before that involved a scary dream, a jar of warm water, and a whole lot of suspicious snickers surrounding Yahiko's sleeping bag.
"What'd you say, Yahiko?"
"I said, 'They'll think you're great!'" Yahiko assured her brightly and he smiled as she turned to him with beaming eyes, "Aunts, uncles, idiot older brothers, everybody! They're all pretty excited to meet the girl I chose over Tsubame Tits-a-lot." Misao, unsure if she was supposed to offended as a woman or as Yahiko's girlfriend, raised her eyebrows in his direction and tried to decide whether or not she should hit him over the head. Before she could make up her mind, Yahiko gave out a nervous laugh at his 'honest mistake' and quickly changed the subject. "And uh, besides, Grandpa likes hearing really long stories from pretty girls. I dunno if he's familiar with band camp, but you guys will get along just fine, you'll see."
Now satisfied with the compliment, Misao smiled and nodded her head in approval, already forgetting her alleged plan to slap him silly for talking about another woman's boobs that were apparently bigger than hers. Yahiko sighed in relief as Misao turned away, obviously no longer intent on hurting him for his little slip-up.
"When did your family say they were gonna arrive?" she asked curiously, looking around for a digital clock. She had a watch, but hated trying to figure out which arrow meant the hour and which meant the minute. "Are they gonna get here anytime soon?"
"Actually, we got here a lot earlier than everyone else so..." Yahiko trailed off as he averted his eyes over to the staircase of his old house and lifted his eyebrows up as an idea popped into his head. Putting an arm around her, he nodded toward the steps. "So what do you say you and I go upstairs and uh... you know..." At his pause in words, Yahiko put more emphasis of what he was trying to say with a couple hinting hand gestures, sexy whistles, and vulgar noises. Misao pulled away with a face.
"Right now? Here? In a house that I've never before been in my entire life?!" Misao questioned, raising her eyebrows to the ceiling as if it were the most absurd idea she'd ever heard in her life, her voice flabbergasted. A look of disappointment crossed over Yahiko's face at her answer and laughing, she punched him in the arm, a little harder than she had aimed it to be, and he practically toppled over his own feet. Misao barely noticed. "Sounds fun! Let's go!"
A mischievous glint in her ocean blue eyes, Misao bounced over to the stairs and happily climbed up to his room (well, the room that she figured was his since it was the only one with a huge sign on the door saying, 'Do Not Pee In The Pool!'. Only Yahiko would put an outdoor sign on the inside of his house). Giggling behind her hand at Yahiko's eager run to the stairs after her, tripping a little in his haste, Misao let him reach her first before they entered the room, lip to lip.
Yahiko gave the door a small kick with his left foot as he pushed her farther into the room, his hands already tearing at her clothes, and he quickly lifted off her shirt before settling her down onto his bed. Pressing her down into the mattress, Yahiko pushed off a couple embarrassing stuffed animals that Okina had undoubtedly placed on the sheets for decoration and prayed to God that his girlfriend hadn't seen them. Getting down to the more intimate details, Yahiko allowed Misao to switch their position so that she lay on top and after doing this, she quickly undid his jeans with anxious hands and threw them aside.
Filling his palm with a fist full of her hair, Yahiko pulled her back down to his mouth, partially because his hands were getting tired of doing all the work and also to stifle the small groan that rose in his throat. Sweeping his hand away from her for a brief moment, Yahiko reached over and pulled the bed sheet over their joined bodies, dropping it only a second later as a wave of pleasure ran through him at her touch.
Misao's lips lightly trembled as they brushed against his, her form already beginning to perspire from their rough movements on his bed, and she ran her hands over the smooth skin of his back.
"Say... my... name... bitch..." Misao murmured softly through small gasps, her pale lips lightly brushing against the corner of his earlobe, and she lightly blew into his ear, earning a shudder from him. At no response, Misao became agitated. "Say it!" she suddenly yelled.
"Mi..."
"YAHIKO?! WHAT IN THE WORLD?!" Okina shouted from the doorway, which Yahiko had idiotically left wide open with the thought that nobody would be home anytime soon. Obviously, he was wrong, very wrong. Surprised, the old man automatically dropped the grocery bag he had been holding in his hands as he realized that not only one pair of shocked eyes turned to him, but two. "Oh! You're with a girl! Good then! Phew, okay, for a second I thought you were experimenting again and..."
"Grandpa!!! Do you mind?!?!" Yahiko practically screeched, his hands quickly moving to cover himself and his girlfriend, who was by now, too shocked to speak, "We're kinda DOING something right now!"
"Yes, I know, I can see that. Good for you. But you know what, Yahiko, I think me and you should have a little um... chat before you two lovers continue in your wild animal sex," Okina offered and to Yahiko's and Misao's complete horror and embarrassment, he casually walked over to where the two were huddled underneath the too small of a blanket, stretched out his legs, and began making himself comfortable beside them. Misao gave Yahiko a bewildered look of 'What-is-he-doing?!,' which Yahiko only returned with one of his own.
"Well, forty-two years ago when I first met your grandmother, we were in one of the local bars that one of my buddies worked at. She and I were both quite young back then, capable of anything and definitely up for it, and she was just looking for a good time, which was all okay by me. So we arranged a time to meet at the back alley. I think it was at nine o-clock... and so once she got there, I was already waiting and boy, was I ready! I was so horny that...!"
"GRANDPA!" Yahiko stopped him mid-sentence, knowing fully well that he definitely did not want to hear the rest of what his sixty year old grandfather had to say. Already with only half of the explanation, Yahiko's eyes were practically bulging out of their sockets and his ears were aching to be covered from the very disturbing detailed pictures of two old people getting it on in the back alley of a bar. A shudder escaped him at the thought.
Not in any better of a state, Misao had her face buried in a nearby pillow, silently singing, 'I've been working on the railroad, all the live long day!' over and over again to try and drown out the sound of Okina's voice.
"Yes, Yahiko?"
"GET OUT!!!"
"Hey Grandpa, I heard yelling up here and thought I should check if there was anything... WHOA! Yahiko? You've got a GIRL up here?!"
If Yahiko had a brick in his room, he would have bashed himself over the head with it. Or no, a gun sounded better. His brother was not who Yahiko wanted to see right now, he didn't want to see anybody right now. Especially when they both kept exclaiming that he had a girl in his room. Was it really THAT weird? Yahiko pouted. He was already scarred for life for hearing Okina's horror story of just how he created Yahiko's father, but now with Yutaro here, things would be getting a lot worse before they got better.
"Hi, I'm Yutaro, Yahiko's brother," he said to the nude girl on the bed, a big smile etched across his face, "Nice to breast you. I mean! Meet you!"
Cautious, Misao accepted his hand and nervously shook it with a nod of her head, trying her best to smile and be casual about being completely naked in front of her boyfriend's family. Beside her, she felt Yahiko tense as he gave his older brother a look that couldn't turned a grown man into stone.
"It's nice to meet you too, Yutaro, Mr. Myojin," Misao replied, her hands desperately clutching at the bed sheet covering her from their smiling eyes, and she gave a small tug at the cloth in her direction, which earned her a yelp from Yahiko, who was also afraid of exposure, and he yanked it right back. Covering herself with a pillow as well, she turned back to his family and managed a weak smile. "But um... if you don't mind, we were in the middle of something and..."
"Well, good for you! Some sex a day keeps the doctor away! Wait... or maybe it was apples... I'm not sure," Yutaro interjected, still not quite getting the point that the couple wanted to be alone as he continued pondering his quote of apples and screwing.
Misao took his stupidity as a sure sign that he really was related to Yahiko. Beside her, Yahiko felt like screaming, but before he could blow up on his idiot of a brother and his sexually charged grandfather, yet another uninvited guest entered the room.
"Oh, Father, here you are, we were in the driveway and we saw the door open so we figured you were... Oh my LORD!" Yahiko's aunt, Okon, exclaimed, her hand flying to cover her mouth as she caught sight of her very naked nephew and his blue-eyed girlfriend, "Yahiko, where are all your clothes?!"
"Yahiko hath no clothesh!" Yahiko's one year old baby cousin gurgled, throwing his chubby little arms in the air in declaration, "Yahiko go bang! BANG BANG!"
Misao's eyes went wide at the very "informed" baby yelling at them and they only got wider as even more of Yahiko's family filed into the room, one by one, either congratulating him on finally "becoming a man," which was mostly from the men, or asking him what the hell he was thinking, which was mostly from the women. Even distant family members from towns over came by that afternoon and joined the small gathering around them, some neighbors even visited. One of his uncles even took a picture with his camera and offered to send it to them by e-mail. Shrinking back against the headboard, Misao waited for the mattress to swallow her up.
"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm thankful we didn't catch them dancing with chairs or anything like that," Yahiko's other aunt, Omasu, spoke up through the murmurs and constant jabbering of the crowd and at the mention of his internet incident, Yahiko sunk lower into the covers.
"Hey, I have that on video tape!" someone yelled from the back of the room and Yahiko dejectedly buried his face in his hands as whoever unfortunately had the mortifying tape in their possession at the time went to the VCR and put it in.
"Not again..." his voice on the TV said and Yahiko in his room did his best to keep from ripping his arm off and beating himself with it.
"Yahiko go splath!" his baby cousin shouted again and the entire room burst into huge fits of laughter, leaving Yahiko and Misao to hide underneath the covers and rethink their views on how fun reunion parties really were.
A/N: So sorry for the delay, I'm sure most people have actually forgot about this story already. But here it is, couple months late! The prologue of my continuing series! Woohoo! Leave a review for me please and I'll post up another chapter soon. Thanks! Oh and just so you know, since this story doesn't go along with any story line (since there is no real American Pie 3 movie... yet) that means that everything I write is gonna be my own stuff, but I might just steal a couple scenes from other movies if they work. Also, if you want anything particular, requests are always welcome and I'll try my best to work it all in, k? Loves!