Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Part 4
Author: Rhasa
Category: Angst/Romance.
Rating: PG 13
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Not mine, no money being made and all that.
Summary: Max still wrestles with her confusion but moves closer to a choice.
Archive: Sure just let me know where and keep my name on it.
Author's note: At end
Feedback: Rhasa4@yahoo.com please, please, please.
Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Part 5
By Rhasa
Max gunned the engine of her Ninja a little harder as she tore through the streets of Seattle in the early hours of the morning. The roads had been slickened by a light downpour earlier in the evening causing her to concentrate just a little harder in order to not lose control - of her motorcycle at least.
As she pushed the machine faster and faster along the hard surface, she felt the restraint that she had shown earlier in Logan's apartment begin to slip. Every time another tear threatened to fall she hit the accelerator once again, but try as she might, she couldn't out run the ache, the confusion and the sense of loss that seemingly ran through her veins.
"I think you should go to him." Logan had told her earlier. In all honesty that's not what she had expected him to say to her when she went there tonight. But then she hadn't really known what to expect. Every since her last heat session she was having trouble making sense of everything. How had it become so complicated all of a sudden?
The truth was it all had always been complicated. All of it. Her life. Her past. Logan.. and then Alec..
"I think you should go to him." Max heard Logan's voice in her head again.
She hadn't bothered to tell Logan that she had already gone to Alec. She hadn't told Logan that Alec had managed to be typically Alec and confuse the hell out of her by rejecting her and declaring his love for her at the same time. She hadn't bothered him with those small details. .. and now she wondered why.
Nor had she bothered to tell Logan of her true feelings or of the realisations she had come to make in the past few days. There was something there between her and Alec- something from her end-she couldn't deny that now. Ever since Alec had made his confession, she couldn't get him out of her head.
She had gone over every past encounter they had had together and seen everything he had said and done in a new light. Damn him for that. Once she had been secure in her contempt for him. Before, she had hated him, he had barely tolerated her and all had been right with the world. But now.. Now things were different.
"Find out for sure who it is that you're in love with," Logan's voice whispered to her again. Logan had been right.
She had to get this sorted.
She had never been so distracted before.
But how?
Alec had made it clear that he wasn't interested in a one night stand. If they were to be together like that he'd want it all. Somehow the thought of her having it all with Alec, terrified Max. She feared Alec may consume her. Logan had always kept her at arms length even on the few occasions that they had enjoyed any intimacy. It was like Logan revered her, as if she was fragile and only to be handled with care. But with Alec, Max knew it would be different.
With Alec it would be fast and wild and raw. He was an Alpha male. He hadn't made a move towards her, despite having feelings for her, for that she'd give him credit. But Max had no doubts that if they'd ever get together there'd be no holding Alec back. He'd claim her. He'd die to protect her and that thought both thrilled and terrified her at the same time.
"Find out who you're *in* love with," Logan's voice said again. "Then if you come back to me, I'll know. I'll know for sure."
She couldn't stop the tear falling this time. Logan didn't really know what he was asking of her. If she went to Alec to find out, she wouldn't be coming back, of that much she was almost certain. But could she risk that? Should she risk that? Was she truly ready to give Logan up?
She rounded a sharp corner and hit a large puddle, its spray splashing up into her face. She closed her eyes against the sting of the cold droplets. Before her in her mind were images of her and Alec entwined together. Arms and legs and hands all moving, roaming, groping. Lips sliding and sucking and soothing. She opened her eyes quickly blocking out the scene before her and tamping down the accompanying sensations.
"Damn him," she cursed again. Damn him for loving me. Things would be so much easier if he didn't love me. The big jerk.
Max suddenly felt an anger rising up in her. What was it with Alec and him falling for women he couldn't have? He had pretty much confessed that after Rachel he doubted that he'd ever allow himself to feel that deeply for anyone ever again. And yet he had stood before her and told Max he loved her, in effect, complicating everything. How could she love him and hate him at the same time?
She didn't hate him. Not really. She never really had.
Which is why she had to get this sorted.
And why she suddenly turned the bike in the opposite direction. She was going to him. To do just what Logan had said. She was going to him to ask.. to beg him to love her... even if it was just for one night.
TBC
Next chapter: the big confrontation.
I know this was a little bit disjointed, but I wanted to capture Max's confusion and conflicting emotions. I think it is totally possible for some to feel two totally opposite emotions at the same time. I'm a Leo - we're mercurial. Others call us unstable, but I'm sure other Leos know what I mean.
Please feed the monster and review or reply. I so love to hear from you guys. I also had such a hard time writing this chapter so if you are a M/A OR M/L fan please drop me suggestions. I don't know which I will use but they at least get me thinking.
Rhasa4@yahoo.com
Author: Rhasa
Category: Angst/Romance.
Rating: PG 13
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Not mine, no money being made and all that.
Summary: Max still wrestles with her confusion but moves closer to a choice.
Archive: Sure just let me know where and keep my name on it.
Author's note: At end
Feedback: Rhasa4@yahoo.com please, please, please.
Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Part 5
By Rhasa
Max gunned the engine of her Ninja a little harder as she tore through the streets of Seattle in the early hours of the morning. The roads had been slickened by a light downpour earlier in the evening causing her to concentrate just a little harder in order to not lose control - of her motorcycle at least.
As she pushed the machine faster and faster along the hard surface, she felt the restraint that she had shown earlier in Logan's apartment begin to slip. Every time another tear threatened to fall she hit the accelerator once again, but try as she might, she couldn't out run the ache, the confusion and the sense of loss that seemingly ran through her veins.
"I think you should go to him." Logan had told her earlier. In all honesty that's not what she had expected him to say to her when she went there tonight. But then she hadn't really known what to expect. Every since her last heat session she was having trouble making sense of everything. How had it become so complicated all of a sudden?
The truth was it all had always been complicated. All of it. Her life. Her past. Logan.. and then Alec..
"I think you should go to him." Max heard Logan's voice in her head again.
She hadn't bothered to tell Logan that she had already gone to Alec. She hadn't told Logan that Alec had managed to be typically Alec and confuse the hell out of her by rejecting her and declaring his love for her at the same time. She hadn't bothered him with those small details. .. and now she wondered why.
Nor had she bothered to tell Logan of her true feelings or of the realisations she had come to make in the past few days. There was something there between her and Alec- something from her end-she couldn't deny that now. Ever since Alec had made his confession, she couldn't get him out of her head.
She had gone over every past encounter they had had together and seen everything he had said and done in a new light. Damn him for that. Once she had been secure in her contempt for him. Before, she had hated him, he had barely tolerated her and all had been right with the world. But now.. Now things were different.
"Find out for sure who it is that you're in love with," Logan's voice whispered to her again. Logan had been right.
She had to get this sorted.
She had never been so distracted before.
But how?
Alec had made it clear that he wasn't interested in a one night stand. If they were to be together like that he'd want it all. Somehow the thought of her having it all with Alec, terrified Max. She feared Alec may consume her. Logan had always kept her at arms length even on the few occasions that they had enjoyed any intimacy. It was like Logan revered her, as if she was fragile and only to be handled with care. But with Alec, Max knew it would be different.
With Alec it would be fast and wild and raw. He was an Alpha male. He hadn't made a move towards her, despite having feelings for her, for that she'd give him credit. But Max had no doubts that if they'd ever get together there'd be no holding Alec back. He'd claim her. He'd die to protect her and that thought both thrilled and terrified her at the same time.
"Find out who you're *in* love with," Logan's voice said again. "Then if you come back to me, I'll know. I'll know for sure."
She couldn't stop the tear falling this time. Logan didn't really know what he was asking of her. If she went to Alec to find out, she wouldn't be coming back, of that much she was almost certain. But could she risk that? Should she risk that? Was she truly ready to give Logan up?
She rounded a sharp corner and hit a large puddle, its spray splashing up into her face. She closed her eyes against the sting of the cold droplets. Before her in her mind were images of her and Alec entwined together. Arms and legs and hands all moving, roaming, groping. Lips sliding and sucking and soothing. She opened her eyes quickly blocking out the scene before her and tamping down the accompanying sensations.
"Damn him," she cursed again. Damn him for loving me. Things would be so much easier if he didn't love me. The big jerk.
Max suddenly felt an anger rising up in her. What was it with Alec and him falling for women he couldn't have? He had pretty much confessed that after Rachel he doubted that he'd ever allow himself to feel that deeply for anyone ever again. And yet he had stood before her and told Max he loved her, in effect, complicating everything. How could she love him and hate him at the same time?
She didn't hate him. Not really. She never really had.
Which is why she had to get this sorted.
And why she suddenly turned the bike in the opposite direction. She was going to him. To do just what Logan had said. She was going to him to ask.. to beg him to love her... even if it was just for one night.
TBC
Next chapter: the big confrontation.
I know this was a little bit disjointed, but I wanted to capture Max's confusion and conflicting emotions. I think it is totally possible for some to feel two totally opposite emotions at the same time. I'm a Leo - we're mercurial. Others call us unstable, but I'm sure other Leos know what I mean.
Please feed the monster and review or reply. I so love to hear from you guys. I also had such a hard time writing this chapter so if you are a M/A OR M/L fan please drop me suggestions. I don't know which I will use but they at least get me thinking.
Rhasa4@yahoo.com