Title: Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Part 7
Author: Rhasa
Rating: R (for language only)
Category: HEAVY ANGST/Romance
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: These characters are not my creation. No money is being made. No Infringement is intended.
Feedback: Yes. Rhasa4@yahoo.com
Archive: Just Ask
Summary: Alec's POV.
Author's Notes: At end.
Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Part 7
By Rhasa
Alec's first thought was that he must be coming down with something. The heaviness that seemed to have settled throughout his body was something he was not accustomed to. As was the ache and stiffness that resided in his joints. He took a deep breath in and held it as he blinked heavily a couple of times. With more effort than usually required by an X5 upon waking, he lifted his left arm which was draped high above his head and brought it down to rest against his chest. It was only when he unconsciously ran his palm over his pec and began scratching the skin around his navel lightly, did a nagging thought suddenly occur to him.
He was naked.
Shit.
The breath that he had been holding rushed out of him as consciousness took hold. His mind, totally alert having now thrown off the last lingering vestiges of sleep, couldn't halt that barrage of images and memories from the night before.
He had done it.
He had actually done it.
He had given in and slept with Max.
The words were more of an accusation than a realisation.
Alec sighed, and instantly felt sick to his stomach with worry, uncertainty - and self-recrimination.
The heaviness in his limbs seemed to mock him as he rolled over amidst a tangle of sheets and a pile of his discarded clothes, to find what his senses already alluded to - the bed was empty.
He brought his left hand up and over to now rest against the white sheets. They were cold. She had obviously been gone for some time.
"Shit," he mumbled to himself as he closed his eyes tightly against the post coital sensations that threatened to over run him.
It had been both the best and worst sex he had ever had.
He had tried to resist her. Hell, he had been trying to resist her ever since they first met. In the stillness of the room he chuckled with that thought, it being accompanied by a long lost memory. He remembered he had told himself that first day, back in her cell at Manticore, that he had a feeling that she would be his undoing. He had only taken one look at her - a dichotomy of neediness and stubbornness - and he had known that she was going to be trouble - in more ways than just those his superiors had warned him about.
Be alert, they had told him. Don't turn your back on her. She's cunning and savvy. She has training - outside experience - that gives her an edge over you. And she's desperate. Stay alert.
Two years later, Alec was still alert - but a lot of good it had done him.
He had tried to resist her.
But he had underestimated her persistence.
This was not how he had wanted it to be.
"I tried so hard not to love you," he had whispered, right before he had fiercely claimed her mouth with his own the night before.
The memory of their first kiss brought a flutter to his stomach and an almost imperceptible tingle to his lips. She had been everything he thought she'd be - soft and sweet and warm, but strong and eager and possessive. Her need and desperation had egged him on, and after that first kiss he quickly found himself drowning in the sensation of 'everything Max' - the experience so intense that he feared he may never survive.
It should be a crime to want her as much as he did, he thought, as she roughly undressed him. If not a crime, then it must be a sickness, an illness, a certifiable disease that requires intensive treatment.
Max was like some illicit drug - one that he had craved, but up until now one that he had managed to avoid least the inevitable side affects ruin him. She had been his addiction. Once he had her he knew that he wouldn't be able to give her up. The trick was not to let her get into his system. There should have been a twelve step program that helped him resist her. Maybe if he had put it in those terms she wouldn't have pushed as hard as she did.
She had not played fair, although she had accused him of that same thing. She had used his own confession against him. When she had shown up last night and begged him to love her - to love her like he had previously admitted wanting to lover her - not for the first time he cursed himself for ever saying those words to her.
It had been easier before - when she hadn't known how he felt. It had been easier when she had been untouchable, unreachable. It had been easier when he had lied to himself, deluded himself, tried to convince himself that he could go on not having her. In fact he had given that very reason for not sleeping with her. "I don't know if I can be with you and then have you not be with me," he had warned.
And yet here he was, alone just as he had feared he'd be. His body was sated but his soul was bereft. If only she had stayed..
But this was Max. And he knew she'd run...
He just didn't know if it would be him she was running away from, or Logan she'd be running to.
Logan.
Damn.
Alec rose from the bed suddenly, he felt dizzy. He felt choked. His last thought before he hurried to the bathroom was that he was going to throw up.
TBC
Author's Notes:
Yes, I hear your screams of 'where is the hot monkey sex'? Alas, you should know by now that I don't do hot monkey sex. I applaud those authors who can, but it seems that I can't. I do angst. And you can bet that there will definitely be more angst and more angst.
Yes they did sleep together, but it wasn't perfect as we all imagined it to be - well at least the emotion side of it wasn't perfect - the physical side went just fine thank you very much.
I have my own reasons for why Max isn't in this little scene, but I'd love to hear from you as to where you think she may be and what's going on. So drop me a line at Rhasa4@yahoo.com or push reply or whatever. Your comments last time really made my day - a big thanks.
Author: Rhasa
Rating: R (for language only)
Category: HEAVY ANGST/Romance
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: These characters are not my creation. No money is being made. No Infringement is intended.
Feedback: Yes. Rhasa4@yahoo.com
Archive: Just Ask
Summary: Alec's POV.
Author's Notes: At end.
Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Part 7
By Rhasa
Alec's first thought was that he must be coming down with something. The heaviness that seemed to have settled throughout his body was something he was not accustomed to. As was the ache and stiffness that resided in his joints. He took a deep breath in and held it as he blinked heavily a couple of times. With more effort than usually required by an X5 upon waking, he lifted his left arm which was draped high above his head and brought it down to rest against his chest. It was only when he unconsciously ran his palm over his pec and began scratching the skin around his navel lightly, did a nagging thought suddenly occur to him.
He was naked.
Shit.
The breath that he had been holding rushed out of him as consciousness took hold. His mind, totally alert having now thrown off the last lingering vestiges of sleep, couldn't halt that barrage of images and memories from the night before.
He had done it.
He had actually done it.
He had given in and slept with Max.
The words were more of an accusation than a realisation.
Alec sighed, and instantly felt sick to his stomach with worry, uncertainty - and self-recrimination.
The heaviness in his limbs seemed to mock him as he rolled over amidst a tangle of sheets and a pile of his discarded clothes, to find what his senses already alluded to - the bed was empty.
He brought his left hand up and over to now rest against the white sheets. They were cold. She had obviously been gone for some time.
"Shit," he mumbled to himself as he closed his eyes tightly against the post coital sensations that threatened to over run him.
It had been both the best and worst sex he had ever had.
He had tried to resist her. Hell, he had been trying to resist her ever since they first met. In the stillness of the room he chuckled with that thought, it being accompanied by a long lost memory. He remembered he had told himself that first day, back in her cell at Manticore, that he had a feeling that she would be his undoing. He had only taken one look at her - a dichotomy of neediness and stubbornness - and he had known that she was going to be trouble - in more ways than just those his superiors had warned him about.
Be alert, they had told him. Don't turn your back on her. She's cunning and savvy. She has training - outside experience - that gives her an edge over you. And she's desperate. Stay alert.
Two years later, Alec was still alert - but a lot of good it had done him.
He had tried to resist her.
But he had underestimated her persistence.
This was not how he had wanted it to be.
"I tried so hard not to love you," he had whispered, right before he had fiercely claimed her mouth with his own the night before.
The memory of their first kiss brought a flutter to his stomach and an almost imperceptible tingle to his lips. She had been everything he thought she'd be - soft and sweet and warm, but strong and eager and possessive. Her need and desperation had egged him on, and after that first kiss he quickly found himself drowning in the sensation of 'everything Max' - the experience so intense that he feared he may never survive.
It should be a crime to want her as much as he did, he thought, as she roughly undressed him. If not a crime, then it must be a sickness, an illness, a certifiable disease that requires intensive treatment.
Max was like some illicit drug - one that he had craved, but up until now one that he had managed to avoid least the inevitable side affects ruin him. She had been his addiction. Once he had her he knew that he wouldn't be able to give her up. The trick was not to let her get into his system. There should have been a twelve step program that helped him resist her. Maybe if he had put it in those terms she wouldn't have pushed as hard as she did.
She had not played fair, although she had accused him of that same thing. She had used his own confession against him. When she had shown up last night and begged him to love her - to love her like he had previously admitted wanting to lover her - not for the first time he cursed himself for ever saying those words to her.
It had been easier before - when she hadn't known how he felt. It had been easier when she had been untouchable, unreachable. It had been easier when he had lied to himself, deluded himself, tried to convince himself that he could go on not having her. In fact he had given that very reason for not sleeping with her. "I don't know if I can be with you and then have you not be with me," he had warned.
And yet here he was, alone just as he had feared he'd be. His body was sated but his soul was bereft. If only she had stayed..
But this was Max. And he knew she'd run...
He just didn't know if it would be him she was running away from, or Logan she'd be running to.
Logan.
Damn.
Alec rose from the bed suddenly, he felt dizzy. He felt choked. His last thought before he hurried to the bathroom was that he was going to throw up.
TBC
Author's Notes:
Yes, I hear your screams of 'where is the hot monkey sex'? Alas, you should know by now that I don't do hot monkey sex. I applaud those authors who can, but it seems that I can't. I do angst. And you can bet that there will definitely be more angst and more angst.
Yes they did sleep together, but it wasn't perfect as we all imagined it to be - well at least the emotion side of it wasn't perfect - the physical side went just fine thank you very much.
I have my own reasons for why Max isn't in this little scene, but I'd love to hear from you as to where you think she may be and what's going on. So drop me a line at Rhasa4@yahoo.com or push reply or whatever. Your comments last time really made my day - a big thanks.