Ok, finally my internet works again, so I decided since you've all been so
patient I'll type that fanfic up right now that it works again. actually I
typed this up a while ago, I just couldn't post it ^.^;; Anyhoo, its time
for another fun yet confusing episode of The Pyromaniac Prince of Flames!
HAZAA!
Disclaimer: I decided to get my friend to type this stupid thing. Carly, could you read this for me?
Carly: What?
Eileen: Read that. don't ask
Carly:....ok then. but if ya don't want me to ask then why did you tell that to me
Eileen: *shifty eyes* Er.
Carly: ya don't know. do you?
Eileen: *smiles stupidly* nope
Carly: Whatever, gimme that paper! *Grabs paper and in monotone says* Eileen does not own Dynasty Warriors 4, nor does she own any of the characters in this fanfic, so leave her alone! How was that?
Eileen: You call that a disclaimer?!
Carly: You wrote it!
Eileen: Oh yea. ON WITH THE STORY!
Carly whispering to the readers: She's psycho like Lu Xun *motions Eileen's a Kuku*
Lu Xun closed the dungeon door behind him and quietly tiptoed across the hallway with his Magic Sticks at hand. He looked around to make sure there were no guards there to make sure he was still locked up. "Hmph, those idiots really are stupid. no guards!" Lu Xun huffed. He decided it was safe for him to walk normally without worrying. He was about to make it to the door when one of his bodyguards suddenly came running.
"There you are Lord Lu Xun! There's a battle going on and I think we should go help!" the little soldier suggested in an exasperated voice. Lu Xun smirked and nodded.
"Yes peasant. I do believe we should. let us go now! And oh, peasant?" Lu Xun said like royally.
The bodyguard quirked an eyebrow but decided to ignore being called a peasant by someone who was younger than him and responded with a mere, "Yes?"
"Can you tell me where all that gunpowder I smell is? I need that for. my next attack, you know, strategy!" Lu Xun stuttered not wanting to blow his plan. The bodyguard scrunched his eyebrows.
"That gunpowder is being saved for drastic measures Sir, I cannot appoint you to it!" he said sternly as he could without getting himself in trouble. Lu Xun growled and tried picking his bodyguard up by his collar, but failed when he realized he was shorter by quite a few inches than his bodyguard. The bodyguard snickered but stopped when Lu Xun shot him a death glare. Since he couldn't lift the bodyguard, he drew one of his blades and put it to the poor bodyguard's neck.
"Tell me where it is, or you won't live to see what I mean to do with it!" Lu Xun ordered looking not angry, but displeased.
With wide eyes the bodyguard nodded only slightly so he wouldn't be cut and stuttered, "I-I'll gladly sh-sh-show you!" With that Lu Xun smirked and followed the terrified bodyguard. He led him no more than a few yards to a room with a few kegs. Lu Xun cracked his knuckles as he walked up to one of the smaller kegs. He bent down and wrapped his arms around the keg and attempted to lift it.
"Arg! Stu.pid. KEG!" Lu Xun let out in between breaths. The keg finally began to budge off the ground. It went about 2 centimeters when Lu Xun lost his grip and the keg slid from his sweaty hands. "AHHHH!" Lu Xun screamed as he was flung back a foot or two because of the sudden lack of force. He landed on his back and lay there looking at the ceiling with his head spinning. "Ow. damn heaviness!" he shouted in annoyance.
He got up and decided that he would try it again. He brushed his hands on his pants and took a deep breath. "Ok. here we go," he said quietly as the bodyguard watched. With one more breath, Lu Xun lunged himself at the keg and wrapped his 17 year old arms around the keg for a second time. With all of his might he managed to get the keg a good foot off of the ground. The massive weight caused him to get a bit off balance and he took a few steps back. Still trying to obtain the weight he leaned forwards a bit to gain balance only to get more off balance. He took a few quicker steps forward and almost ran into the wall but got himself to go back again. This time the weight beat the poor Lu Xun and he began falling backwards.
The bodyguard looked on in horror as the keg started overpowering Lu Xun. The "prince" struggled to get himself back in balance but it was already too late. He fell with the falling right on him. He made the same face Sammy hobbit (A/N: That's my pet name for Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings. Isn't it cute?) did when he was about to be squished by that cave troll's foot; only Lu wasn't so lucky like Sammy. The keg fell right on his pretty face and SQUISHED him.
The bodyguard opened his eyes and saw Lu's limbs sticking out from the keg. The bodyguard slowly walked over to Lu Xun and pulled a stick out of nowhere and began poking him. "Hey. hey! Are you alive!" he asked like Lu Xun was road kill. Then a growling noise came from the keg and the bodyguard backed away and made an eeping noise. "Lord. Lord Lu Xun?" he asked wearily.
Suddenly the keg shot up and flew into the wall and shattered into a million pieces causing gunpowder to fly everywhere. BG (A/N BodyGuard? Now you're getting it!) was sitting in a corner covering his head whimpering. Lu Xun on the other hand was lying on the ground covered in gunpowder with hunks of wood and whatnot sticking in his clothes and hat. He growled as he sat up to see he now looked like a ghost. "YOU! BG! You go pick up one of the kegs!" he demanded pointing a finger at BG. BG looked around then looked back at Lu Xun.
"Me?" he mouthed pointing to his face.
"OF COURSE YOU! WHAT OTHER BG'S ARE THERE?!" Lu Xun yelled in annoyance. (A/N: As for the BG thing, it is his name. just so you know) He got up and dusted himself off and leaned against the wall. "You heard me!" Lu Xun said in much the same fashion as moms do with their children. BG raised an eyebrow and sighed. No getting out of it, so why struggle? BG walked up to one of the *non-broken* kegs. He took a deep breath ready to lift one of the heaviest things he thought he'd ever lift. If Lu couldn't do it, how could a weak little bodyguard like him? He rubbed his hands together and got a good grip on the keg. With all of his might he lifted the keg only to realize that it didn't weigh much at all. probably no more than 50lbs!
Seeing the sour look Lu Xun got, BG tried acting like the keg was heavy. "Oh, agony! I can barely muster the weight! I'll probably faint!" BG tried acting, but he only looked like he was mocking Lu Xun. Now the fire was in Lu Xun's eyes and the smoke was coming from his ears. "No Lord Lu Xun. it. it really is heavy! I swear!" BG pleaded. Lu Xun did his famous knuckle- cracking pose as he slowly walked up to BG.
"Get ready to feel the wrath of the Prince of all Flames, peasant!" Lu Xun said pulling out his magic sticks laughing sadisticly.
"No! Don't do it, you'll-" BG tried warning Lu Xun that they were in a room packed with gun powder. But it was too late and the match was lit. As soon as the match had the tiniest of flames come up the whole room went BOOM!
Lu Xun and BG went flying right through the one of the walls. They were luckily on the bottom floor so they didn't have a drop any bigger then the height of how high the explosion caused them to fly. They both screamed in both pain and terror as they flew at least 15 to 20 yards onto the lawn of the base.
Meanwhile on the battlefield everyone, including Cao Cao and his army, watched the large explosion of flames. Zhou Yu smacked his forehead. "Ok, which one of you retards told Lu Xun where we hid his fire maker. things?!?" he shouted angrily. Xiao Qiao stepped up.
"We didn't really hide them, remember, we left them right next to the stack of cards." She admitted with her head hanging.
Cao Cao stepped up looking at Zhou Yu confused, not even caring about the battle anymore. "What the hell was that?!" he asked with wide eyes. Zhou Yu glared at him.
"Its none of your business, Hitler!" he shouted in defense. Cao Cao gave smirked.
"Now no need for flattery!" he said sarcastically. Zhou Yu rolled his eyes and grabbed Xiao Qiao's hand and they began running back to the base. The armies watched as the two ran off to their flaming base. Sun Jian sighed, "Can we. finish this some other time?" he asked biting his lower lip. Xiahou Dun snickered with his brother Yuan. Gan Ning glared.
"Just because you don't have teenagers still going threw puberty that are obsessed with fire in your army, doesn't mean you can laugh at us!" he scolded in defense. At this all of the Wei officers laughed. Xiao Qiao suddenly came back panting. "You're all just a bunch of old farts!" she insulted and ran off again. It was Wu's turn to laugh.
Ok, that's today's chapter, I'm sorry if it seems short, they all do and I don't know why. oh well. I'm so glad WOW works again! YEY! Tune in next time! Lu's gonna cause some real trouble in the next chapter! BWHAHAHA.. Yea, its kinda like that!
Disclaimer: I decided to get my friend to type this stupid thing. Carly, could you read this for me?
Carly: What?
Eileen: Read that. don't ask
Carly:....ok then. but if ya don't want me to ask then why did you tell that to me
Eileen: *shifty eyes* Er.
Carly: ya don't know. do you?
Eileen: *smiles stupidly* nope
Carly: Whatever, gimme that paper! *Grabs paper and in monotone says* Eileen does not own Dynasty Warriors 4, nor does she own any of the characters in this fanfic, so leave her alone! How was that?
Eileen: You call that a disclaimer?!
Carly: You wrote it!
Eileen: Oh yea. ON WITH THE STORY!
Carly whispering to the readers: She's psycho like Lu Xun *motions Eileen's a Kuku*
Lu Xun closed the dungeon door behind him and quietly tiptoed across the hallway with his Magic Sticks at hand. He looked around to make sure there were no guards there to make sure he was still locked up. "Hmph, those idiots really are stupid. no guards!" Lu Xun huffed. He decided it was safe for him to walk normally without worrying. He was about to make it to the door when one of his bodyguards suddenly came running.
"There you are Lord Lu Xun! There's a battle going on and I think we should go help!" the little soldier suggested in an exasperated voice. Lu Xun smirked and nodded.
"Yes peasant. I do believe we should. let us go now! And oh, peasant?" Lu Xun said like royally.
The bodyguard quirked an eyebrow but decided to ignore being called a peasant by someone who was younger than him and responded with a mere, "Yes?"
"Can you tell me where all that gunpowder I smell is? I need that for. my next attack, you know, strategy!" Lu Xun stuttered not wanting to blow his plan. The bodyguard scrunched his eyebrows.
"That gunpowder is being saved for drastic measures Sir, I cannot appoint you to it!" he said sternly as he could without getting himself in trouble. Lu Xun growled and tried picking his bodyguard up by his collar, but failed when he realized he was shorter by quite a few inches than his bodyguard. The bodyguard snickered but stopped when Lu Xun shot him a death glare. Since he couldn't lift the bodyguard, he drew one of his blades and put it to the poor bodyguard's neck.
"Tell me where it is, or you won't live to see what I mean to do with it!" Lu Xun ordered looking not angry, but displeased.
With wide eyes the bodyguard nodded only slightly so he wouldn't be cut and stuttered, "I-I'll gladly sh-sh-show you!" With that Lu Xun smirked and followed the terrified bodyguard. He led him no more than a few yards to a room with a few kegs. Lu Xun cracked his knuckles as he walked up to one of the smaller kegs. He bent down and wrapped his arms around the keg and attempted to lift it.
"Arg! Stu.pid. KEG!" Lu Xun let out in between breaths. The keg finally began to budge off the ground. It went about 2 centimeters when Lu Xun lost his grip and the keg slid from his sweaty hands. "AHHHH!" Lu Xun screamed as he was flung back a foot or two because of the sudden lack of force. He landed on his back and lay there looking at the ceiling with his head spinning. "Ow. damn heaviness!" he shouted in annoyance.
He got up and decided that he would try it again. He brushed his hands on his pants and took a deep breath. "Ok. here we go," he said quietly as the bodyguard watched. With one more breath, Lu Xun lunged himself at the keg and wrapped his 17 year old arms around the keg for a second time. With all of his might he managed to get the keg a good foot off of the ground. The massive weight caused him to get a bit off balance and he took a few steps back. Still trying to obtain the weight he leaned forwards a bit to gain balance only to get more off balance. He took a few quicker steps forward and almost ran into the wall but got himself to go back again. This time the weight beat the poor Lu Xun and he began falling backwards.
The bodyguard looked on in horror as the keg started overpowering Lu Xun. The "prince" struggled to get himself back in balance but it was already too late. He fell with the falling right on him. He made the same face Sammy hobbit (A/N: That's my pet name for Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings. Isn't it cute?) did when he was about to be squished by that cave troll's foot; only Lu wasn't so lucky like Sammy. The keg fell right on his pretty face and SQUISHED him.
The bodyguard opened his eyes and saw Lu's limbs sticking out from the keg. The bodyguard slowly walked over to Lu Xun and pulled a stick out of nowhere and began poking him. "Hey. hey! Are you alive!" he asked like Lu Xun was road kill. Then a growling noise came from the keg and the bodyguard backed away and made an eeping noise. "Lord. Lord Lu Xun?" he asked wearily.
Suddenly the keg shot up and flew into the wall and shattered into a million pieces causing gunpowder to fly everywhere. BG (A/N BodyGuard? Now you're getting it!) was sitting in a corner covering his head whimpering. Lu Xun on the other hand was lying on the ground covered in gunpowder with hunks of wood and whatnot sticking in his clothes and hat. He growled as he sat up to see he now looked like a ghost. "YOU! BG! You go pick up one of the kegs!" he demanded pointing a finger at BG. BG looked around then looked back at Lu Xun.
"Me?" he mouthed pointing to his face.
"OF COURSE YOU! WHAT OTHER BG'S ARE THERE?!" Lu Xun yelled in annoyance. (A/N: As for the BG thing, it is his name. just so you know) He got up and dusted himself off and leaned against the wall. "You heard me!" Lu Xun said in much the same fashion as moms do with their children. BG raised an eyebrow and sighed. No getting out of it, so why struggle? BG walked up to one of the *non-broken* kegs. He took a deep breath ready to lift one of the heaviest things he thought he'd ever lift. If Lu couldn't do it, how could a weak little bodyguard like him? He rubbed his hands together and got a good grip on the keg. With all of his might he lifted the keg only to realize that it didn't weigh much at all. probably no more than 50lbs!
Seeing the sour look Lu Xun got, BG tried acting like the keg was heavy. "Oh, agony! I can barely muster the weight! I'll probably faint!" BG tried acting, but he only looked like he was mocking Lu Xun. Now the fire was in Lu Xun's eyes and the smoke was coming from his ears. "No Lord Lu Xun. it. it really is heavy! I swear!" BG pleaded. Lu Xun did his famous knuckle- cracking pose as he slowly walked up to BG.
"Get ready to feel the wrath of the Prince of all Flames, peasant!" Lu Xun said pulling out his magic sticks laughing sadisticly.
"No! Don't do it, you'll-" BG tried warning Lu Xun that they were in a room packed with gun powder. But it was too late and the match was lit. As soon as the match had the tiniest of flames come up the whole room went BOOM!
Lu Xun and BG went flying right through the one of the walls. They were luckily on the bottom floor so they didn't have a drop any bigger then the height of how high the explosion caused them to fly. They both screamed in both pain and terror as they flew at least 15 to 20 yards onto the lawn of the base.
Meanwhile on the battlefield everyone, including Cao Cao and his army, watched the large explosion of flames. Zhou Yu smacked his forehead. "Ok, which one of you retards told Lu Xun where we hid his fire maker. things?!?" he shouted angrily. Xiao Qiao stepped up.
"We didn't really hide them, remember, we left them right next to the stack of cards." She admitted with her head hanging.
Cao Cao stepped up looking at Zhou Yu confused, not even caring about the battle anymore. "What the hell was that?!" he asked with wide eyes. Zhou Yu glared at him.
"Its none of your business, Hitler!" he shouted in defense. Cao Cao gave smirked.
"Now no need for flattery!" he said sarcastically. Zhou Yu rolled his eyes and grabbed Xiao Qiao's hand and they began running back to the base. The armies watched as the two ran off to their flaming base. Sun Jian sighed, "Can we. finish this some other time?" he asked biting his lower lip. Xiahou Dun snickered with his brother Yuan. Gan Ning glared.
"Just because you don't have teenagers still going threw puberty that are obsessed with fire in your army, doesn't mean you can laugh at us!" he scolded in defense. At this all of the Wei officers laughed. Xiao Qiao suddenly came back panting. "You're all just a bunch of old farts!" she insulted and ran off again. It was Wu's turn to laugh.
Ok, that's today's chapter, I'm sorry if it seems short, they all do and I don't know why. oh well. I'm so glad WOW works again! YEY! Tune in next time! Lu's gonna cause some real trouble in the next chapter! BWHAHAHA.. Yea, its kinda like that!