Title: Into the Deep
Author: Jennifer Campbell
Fandom: Alias
Spoilers: General season 2
Pairings: Sydney/Danny, Sydney/Vaughn
Rating: PG-13 for language
Disclaimer: The show Alias and its characters belong to people
with a lot more money than I have. Please don't sue.
Notes: For those who have been clammering for the S/V stuff, this is where the story starts to get shippy. Hello, love Triangle. The wait for the next chapter should only be a few days, as it's almost done. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this installment.
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Sydney arrived first and picked her way through the dark warehouse with less fear than she had only a week before. That surprised her, but then again, she had been through much since she last came here. The thought of a collapsing ceiling didn't compare with becoming embroiled in CIA spy games.
She passed through the gate in the chain-link fence and settled in on a crate. She didn't have to wait long before hearing footsteps on the cement floor. The shadowy figure at the gate also had no flashlight, but Sydney still recognized Vaughn from his tall, thin frame.
As he came closer, she saw that he had changed out his suit -- the only attire she had seen him in until now --and was wearing faded jeans, a button-down shirt and a black leather jacket. She caught herself admiring and quickly looked away, happy that the darkness hid her guilty blush.
"Hi," he said as he sat beside her. From his reserved manner, it seemed he wasn't going to grill her for details until she was ready to talk, and Sydney appreciated that.
"Hi. Thanks for coming," she said. "I hope I didn't pull you away from anything."
"Actually, I was on a dinner date."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I had no idea --"
"It's all right," he said. "Honestly, I was happy to have an excuse to leave."
Sydney smirked. "It was going that well, huh?"
"Yeah, well, I told her I had an urgent call from the office and had to go. I offered to take her home, but she wanted to finish her dinner. So I left her some cab money."
"She wasn't mad?"
"Surprisingly, no."
He gave her a warm smile, and she smiled back but couldn't think of the right words to say. A long pause fell between them, as Sydney gripped the crate below her in both hands, and Vaughn waited patiently for her to speak. He was being so good to her, and she knew she didn't deserve it.
Finally she said, "I have a confession to make, and you're not going to like it."
"Try me."
"I wasn't at Francie's tonight." She licked her dry lips and steeled herself for a tirade.
"You what?" Vaughn asked, incredulous. "But the homing device your father gave you tracked you to her apartment. Your car was there."
"I traded cars with Francie and arranged for the device to be left there," she said quietly.
Vaughn shot to his feet and loomed over her. "Do you know how dangerous that is? Do you have any idea? What if Derevko had found you? She could have done anything to you and we would have never known."
Sydney winced. She was beginning to realize how stupid she had been, but she hadn't called Vaughn for a lecture. Better to act contrite now and get them past this.
"I know. I'm sorry."
"So where were you?"
Sydney prepared herself for a second onslaught and said, "With Irina Derevko."
Vaughn ran one hand through his hair and set another on his hip. He started pacing in front of her in agitation. "I thought you were smarter than that, Sydney. Why would you give her an opportunity like that?"
"She wouldn't have hurt me," she protested. "We were in a public place."
"Do you think that matters to her?"
Sydney was getting fed up with this. She rose to her feet and planted herself directly in Vaughn's path, to stop his pacing and command his full attention.
"She is my mother, Vaughn. I thought she was dead for most of my life, but suddenly she reappeared and wanted to meet with me. What would you have done?"
Vaughn opened his mouth for rebuttal, then stopped, lowered his eyes and nodded. They returned to their seats, and Vaughn ran his hand through his hair again. The gesture seemed to be his way of expressing anxiety. Sydney couldn't help but think that his hair would probably fall flat if he didn't constantly run his fingers through it.
Her amusement faded, though, when she saw his troubled expression. When he spoke, his voice had calmed considerably. "Your father feared that Derevko had told you about your connection to her."
"You knew, too, didn't you? And you chose not to tell me."
"I was following Jack's lead, and he obviously didn't want you to know. I didn't agree with that choice but considering your close relation, I thought he would know best."
"I forgive you. In this, I blame my father."
Vaughn glanced sidelong at her and said, in a quiet, serious way, "My father was a CIA agent."
Sydney looked up at him, interested in where this was going. He gave her a sad smile.
"He was killed in the line of duty when I was eight. I guess part of why I went into the CIA was because of him. If I suddenly learned that it all wasn't true, that he had faked his death, was working for the other side and wanted to make contact with me -- I don't know what I would do. Probably the same as you."
Those words touched Sydney deeply. They meant that someone understood and sympathized with her predicament, that she wasn't an awful person for giving her mother a chance. It lifted a little of the guilt from her heart.
"Sydney, I can't blame you for what you did. Just, please, don't risk it again. She may be your mother, but the only person Irina Derevko is interesting in serving is herself. I wouldn't be able to stand it if she did something to you."
"I promise I'll be more careful," she said.
Feeling more at peace than she had in days, she reached into her purse for the tiny audio tape and held it out to Vaughn on her palm.
"What's this?" he asked, taking it.
"It's a recording of my conversation with Irina. There's probably nothing there you don't already know, but just in case, I want you to have it."
"Thank you." He put it in his jacket pocket. "Sydney, why did you ask me here tonight? I don't mean to push, but I don't think it was to get lectured and give me a tape."
She shook her head and said softly, "No, it wasn't."
"Then why?"
"Because I needed someone to talk to. I feel like I've lived lifetimes since finding out about my mother, and that was just last night. I know I can't trust her, but I can't trust Dad, either. He lied to me about her, and about his job, for years. As for Danny, he can never know any of this." She paused as a realization hit her. "I don't think I trust anyone right now. Except you."
He slid closer and hesitantly laid his hand over hers, resting on the crate. The gesture was shy, like he feared she would pull away at the slightest touch. On the contrary, it felt warm and comforting. When she didn't retreat, he grew bolder and weaved his fingers in with hers.
"Sydney, I know things look bad right now, but you can handle it."
"What if I can't?" she asked, tears welling up.
"You can. And you will."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because you are your father's daughter. You're stronger than you know." He smiled and squeezed her fingers. "And if it gets to be too much, you can call me, and I will always come. That's a promise."
A tear trailed down her cheek, and Vaughn reached up with his free hand to brush it aside. She turned away, embarrassed by her emotional display.
"You're a good friend, Vaughn. Thank you."
"You're welcome."
A loud buzzing noise startled them both, and it took Sydney a moment to realize that it was her cell phone --the one not associated with the CIA. She reclaimed her hand and dug into her purse.
"Hello?"
"Sydney, are you OK?"
"I'm fine, Danny."
Upon hearing her husband's name, Vaughn gave her a strange look and walked a few paces away. If she didn't know better, she would have thought his expression was one of jealousy, but that was crazy, and she didn't have the leisure to think about it now, anyway.
"Where are you?" Danny asked.
"I'm, um, at the grocery store."
"Syd, what is going on? There is a message from Francie on the machine. She says she's worried about you and wants to know when she can have her car back. What the hell does that mean?"
Oh, damn, Sydney thought. Caught in the act. Now she had to create a plausible story for both Francie and Danny, but at this moment, she was coming up with nothing.
"Hon, the reception isn't good in here. I'll be home soon. Can we talk about it then?"
"Yeah, sure," he said curtly, and Sydney winced.
"All right, I'll talk to you soon."
"Right. Bye."
The connection clicked off, and as Sydney turned off her phone, she noted that this was the first time Danny had ended a conversation without saying he loved her.
She looked up at Vaughn, who was leaning against the fence near the gate. "I have to go."
"I know."
She picked up her things and stopped next to him on her way out. This time, she squeezed his hand. "Thank you."
He said nothing as she let go and walked away.
#
She gave Francie a story she had cooked up on the drive back to the apartment. Francie seemed to buy it and switched their keys back, also returning the lipstick-disguised tracker that Sydney had dropped earlier that evening. Sydney didn't bother to act covert this time, even though those CIA agents probably still were staked out nearby, because Vaughn would have informed them of her ruse by now.
"Take care," Sydney said as she hugged her best friend. "Want to do lunch next week?"
"Sure. Oh, and Syd, I think I should warn you that Danny didn't sound too happy when he called here earlier looking for you."
Sydney sighed. "I know. Thanks."
Danny turned off the television when she came in, and Sydney joined him in the living room. She pulled up a chair. He watched her sullenly with arms folded from across the coffee table.
"Where are the groceries?" he asked.
"I wasn't at the grocery store."
"So you lied to me."
She looked down at her hands, wringing each other in her lap. "I'm sorry."
He shook his head. "Uh-uh. An apology is not good enough. What is going on? You've gotten so distant recently. We haven't had sex in more than a week. And this is the second time this week that you've vanished for more than an hour without so much as telling anyone where you were going. Now there's this thing with borrowing Francie's car."
"What are you implying, Danny?"
He took a deep breath. Sydney recognized it as his way of gathering courage to broach a difficult subject. "Are you cheating on me?"
She almost laughed and wondered whether she had heard him right. "Am I what?"
"Are you having an affair, Sydney? Yes, or no."
She had never considered that Danny would think such a thing, but the conclusion made sense after all her sneaking around. At least in answering this, she didn't have to lie.
She walked around the coffee table, sat next to him and took his hands in hers. She looked him straight in the eyes and said, "The answer is no. Danny, I have never cheated on you. I love you."
She expected a release of tension, but none came.
"Then explain to me what is going on," he said. "And no avoiding the issue this time. I want the truth."
"It's a long story."
"I have nowhere else to be."
Sydney took a moment to collect herself, then said, "It actually has to do with work. See, there's this administrator at the school who is running roughshod over the staff. The faculty knows something has to be done, but we haven't decided what, and we don't want to rush into a bad decision. So we've been meeting in secret to discuss the matter. I borrowed Francie's car because I didn't want anyone to recognize mine outside the house where we were meeting."
"That's all?" he asked, his voice hopeful for the first time.
"That's it. I promise. But I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, so please keep it quiet."
Finally, the anger left his eyes, and he looked as guilty as Sydney felt. "I'm sorry I doubted you."
She brushed her fingers down his cheek. "It's all right, baby."
He leaned in to kiss her soundly, and his hands found their way into her hair. Just when Sydney was beginning to think they should move to the bedroom, he pulled back and gave her such a tender look that she could hardly look back.
"I love you, Sydney. When I thought there was something you weren't telling me -- that maybe you were doing things behind my back -- it was driving me crazy."
She held up her left hand to display her ring. "When you gave me this, I made you a promise that I would be true to you. I intend to honor that."
"So do I, baby."
"So, now that we have that resolved, we probably should think about getting some dinner."
He quirked a smile. "Already done. I picked up some KFC on the way home, and something special ..."
Sydney followed his line of sight to the kitchen table, and there sat a big chocolate-frosted cake with pink icing flowers around the border. She went to inspect, and then looked back at Danny, who was sitting smug on the couch.
"What's the occasion?" she asked.
"Remember that cardiologist conference in Atlanta that the hospital could only send two people to, and I wasn't one of them? Well, Roger came down with the flu, so guess who gets to go, after all?"
Sydney smiled brilliantly, ran across the room and engulfed him in her arms. "Oh, that's wonderful! I know how much you had wanted to go. When does it start?"
"I leave Tuesday afternoon and get back Saturday night. Three days before Christmas."
"Baby, that is wonderful. I'm so happy for you."
She leaned in to kiss him again, but they broke off in laughter when her stomach growled loudly. So Danny got up to serve dinner. They had big sloppy helpings of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and biscuits, then cut the cake. Sydney swiped a finger full of frosting off the top and smeared it on Danny's nose, then went in to playfully eat it up. Danny responded with a frosting attack of his own, and before long, they had shed their clothes and had frosting in almost every place imaginable. There on the couch, Danny made love to her, and rarely could Sydney remember her husband being so tender and attentive.
Afterward, they cleaned up their chocolate mess and went to bed. Danny fell asleep almost immediately, scooped against her back and with one arm draped over her stomach. Sydney, however, lay awake for much longer. Now Danny would be gone for a week, and she regarded it as a good thing because it was a week in which she didn't have to sneak. Maybe by the time he got back, all this spy business would be resolved.
The evening with him had been so nice -- at least after she had satisfied him that she wasn't cheating. Best of all, for a few short hours, she had forgotten all about her parents and the CIA. Now it came back in a rush.
Her fingers clenched around the blankets, the only way she had to express her frustration. Danny accepted her lies so easily, and she felt like she was taking advantage of his trust every time she opened her mouth. If only she could talk to him like she could to Vaughn, then everything would be all right. At least she had Vaughn. Sydney knew she would hate herself even more if not for his understanding and support.
She closed her eyes and soon after fell asleep, with Danny's arm wrapped around her and Vaughn's gentle smile in her mind.
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