I sit in and dwell on faces past Like memories seem to fade No color left but black and white And soon will all turn gray But may these shadows rise to walk again With lessons truly learnt When the blossom flowers in each our hearts Shall beat a new found flame Must it take a life for hateful eyes To glisten once again Cause we find ourselves in the same old mess Singin' drunken lullabies -Flogging Molly, Drunken Lullabies
Chapter 10
Secrets Revealed
They returned to Hogwarts and Harry went straight to lunch, Dumbledore didn't say anything to him. When he walked in everyone turned and stared at him, he guessed they heard about his duel with Malfoy. He walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat between Ron and Hermione.
"What happened, mate? Did you get in trouble? Are you expelled?" Ron asked him all in one breath. Harry shook his head.
"What do you mean?" Ron asked him.
"Nothing... I didn't get in trouble and I'm not expelled," Harry replied calmly.
"But, you were gone all morning! What happened?" Ron asked eagerly.
"My wand snapped. Dumbledore took me to Ollivanders to get a new wand that's all" Harry replied wearily.
"This is awful! I can't believe he did this!" Hermione said from behind The Daily Prophet.
"What isn't?" Harry asked her. And she handed Harry the newspaper and Ron looked off of it. There was a large picture of the muggle Prime Minister talking to Cornelius Fudge.
Secrets Revealed
Cornelius Fudge ex. Minister of Magic, is being sent to Azkaban today, for breaking the International Statue of Secrecy. Muggles everywhere know our secret and very few of them are happy about this.
Fudge spoke to the Muggle Prime Minister yesterday evening. He let a few names of some wizards and witches. Harry Potter, 16, current student at Hogwarts School was one of the names mentioned. Another was Ronald Weasley, 16, student at Hogwarts School.
Students must be on the look out for any muggle acting peculiar. As must any wizard or witch. I spoke to Albus Dumbledore, Minister of Magic and Headmaster of Hogwarts earlier today:
"I am taking all the steps possible to make it safe for wizards and witches. I can't just go and do memory charms on them all, now can I? I'm not trying to put those of you with students at Hogwarts to have a false sense of security. They're as safe as being at home, here at Hogwarts. Muggles can't penetrate the walls of Hogwarts unless the Secret Keeper tells them where it is."
When we asked Dumbledore if he was going to tell his students, he replied with a nod.
"I am going to tell them, however most of them will find out on their own anyway." Dumbledore said with a slight chuckle.
Harry looked up to Hermione; "I can't believe it... Fudge.... He's like, I dunno... he must want me killed or something! I just can't believe he'd do something like that! I mean he's not stupid!" Harry said heatedly.
"Harry do you know what this means? The muggles will be looking for you. You can't go with the Quidditch team; you stick out more then Ron or me. I mean you're the boy-who-lived. You have the scar, and it's not really hard to miss Harry." Hermione was saying but Harry tuned out. He stood and walked out of the Great Hall and up to the Common Room.
He didn't notice where he was going until he walked head on into Professor McGongall.
"Potter! Do watch where you're going, won't you?" She said, and he nodded. "What's wrong with you?" She asked him staring him up and down.
"Nothing... j-just thinking..." Harry replied stammered.
"About what, Potter?" Professor McGongall asked. "Surly not about You-Know-Who?"
"Er- the Quidditch cup," Harry lied. He knew by Professor McGongall's piercing stare that she didn't believe it.
"Potter, come to my office for a cup of tea, won't you? I have something to ask you;" She said and then pivoted and started marching off in the other direction. Harry followed reluctantly. When they arrived at her office she walked in and sat down behind her desk, she gestured for him to sit down. He obeyed and sat waiting for her to say something.
"Professor Dumbledore told me to tell you this. Snape, was spying for the light as you may of known. Well, Voldemort found out. So we want you to do the spying for us. Voldemort wants you either on his side or dead. Right now he thinks you're too noble to join the Dark. We want you to act as one of his supporters-"
"Why? Wouldn't that put me at a great risk of dieing?" Harry asked her.
"Yes, it would, also there's always the chance of getting sent to Azkaban, but we need you. We have another Order member in the Death Eater ranks, but they aren't in his inner circle, and you would be. Snape wasn't in the inner circle. We need you to do this Harry."
"Would I have to get the Dark Mark?" Harry asked and rubbed his left forearm.
"Yes, I'm afraid so," Professor McGongall said, and Harry's mind seemed to have gone blank. "Before you can do so, Professor Snape is going to test your mind, to see if Voldemort would be able to read your thoughts using Legitimacy." Professor McGongall stood up. "Professor Snape is in my classroom. Through here," she pointed to a passageway connected to her classroom. Harry nodded and walked through. And Snape was waiting for him. He was seated in the front of the classroom.
"Potter, so you're whom they drafted for the new Death Eater spy? I never thought someone as big headed, as you would even try to be a Death Eater. Anyways, Dumbledore told me I have to test whoever they chose. And I suppose that's you," Snape said glaring daggers at Harry.
"I'll test you on three things; you're mind, your tolerance for pain and your magical strength. All of these are important before facing the Dark Lord. Ever get hit with the Cruciatus Curse, Potter?" Snape asked him. Harry nodded and Snape continued. "When you get your Dark mark it hurts about 1,000 times worse. It'd be worse if Voldemort can get into your mind.
"We'll start with the mind test. I know you were taught Occlumency, having taught you this myself... Legilimens!"
Harry who had cleared his mind one second previous to the attack didn't see anything; he concentrated on Snape's thoughts. And a few blurred visions came to his mind, Voldemort glaring down upon him, James Potter ridiculing him... And then it stopped.
"Very good, Potter. I see you improved after that Black died. Now you passed that test, But be heed Voldemort would be harder to get out of your thoughts...
"We'll do the pain part next..." Snape's lipless mouth curled into a cruel smile. He pointed his want at Harry, and taking aim, "Brace yourself, Potter... When the pain gets too intense raise your hand... Crucio!"
And Harry was thrown off of his feet and onto all fours. He bit down on his back teeth, and his eyes were watering in pain, but he knew he couldn't give in. Not there... not now. His head was surly going to burst along his scar, as what felt like a million daggers slashed non-stop along his body.
After what felt like hours the pain ceased to be and he rolled limply onto his back, trying to catch his breath. He felt as if he couldn't move a muscle. He heard Snape's footsteps and he saw Snape's face look down at him.
"Potter, could you handle it, or were you just trying to play the hero?" Snape asked Harry.
"I could handle it... but-" Harry started. The truth was he was feeling the after mass of the curse. And he could still feel the pain. His breath was short, as if he was having trouble breathing. He felt light-headed.
"All right, Potter, if you're fine get up. I'm going to keep doing the curse until you are unable to stand, because the pain is so great. If you want to play the hero again, I'll make you see how big headed you are. And when you are facing the Dark Lord you'll thank me for deflating you're head." Snape pulled him up by the back of his robes and then let go Harry swayed for a second and then caught his balance. "You can get yourself out of this situation now, Potter and save yourself the pain... Crucio!"
This time Harry was ready, but it didn't make much of a difference, he once again was on all fours and hands against the cold stone floor... he made sure the faintest moan didn't escape his lips. The pain was getting worse, how long did he have before he'd be insane? His hands slipped on the stone and he fell straight onto his stomach and he accidentally let a faint whimper escape his lips. The pain felt ten times worse, I mustn't give in. I can't I have to prove he could take the pain... he wasn't going to let Snape know that he was getting to him.
The curse stopped and Harry rolled onto his back for the second time, and he lay motionless. All of his muscles cramped up, and his breathing thin and shallow.
"Potter get up, now!" Snape bellowed.
Harry couldn't, all of his muscles were aching and his scar was throbbing. Snape pulled him up once again by the back of his robes and sat him in one of the desks.
"Now stand up, Potter," said Snape softly. Harry pushed himself up from the desk and stood in front of Snape. Snape's black eyes glairing down hungrily at him. He stored his wand in his pocket and then grabbed Harry's jaw. "I could break your jaw right now and it wouldn't bother me the least, nor does torturing you. Now, answer me, could you handle the pain, or were you just being thick?"
Harry didn't answer, Snape put more pressure on his jaw and Harry didn't know Snape was that strong. He couldn't have answered if he wanted to. Snape threw him backwards and he fell to the floor and hit his tailbone. He quickly got to his feet.
"Now, ready for another little dose of pain, Potter?" Snape asked.
Harry didn't say anything. He looked Snape in the eye and knew he was going to do it whether Harry said 'yes' or 'no'. He waited for Snape to do the curse, but he then had his wand stuck in Harry's thought. Harry backed up and Snape's wand didn't come dislodged from the front of his windpipe. Harry backed into the wall.
"This time Potter, get back up after I finish the curse, am I clear?"
"Yes, Professor!" Was all that Harry could get out.
"Good, now" he didn't remove the wand from Harry's windpipe. He pushed harder so that Harry couldn't breath easily. Every breath was shallow and forced. "There are more ways to cause pain besides the Cruciatus Curse; did you know that Potter?"
Harry nodded.
"You did? Name one," Snape said and Harry took this chance and pushed Snape's wand away and he quickly moved to the side of Snape. "We're not playing games, Potter."
"We'll you want me to talk, I very much can't talk with your wand jammed in my thought!" Harry shot back.
"Well then answer me now," Snape said.
Harry wasn't going to answer him. He wasn't going to play these little games... Snape wanted him to give in. and he wasn't about to give in.
"Ok, seems to me that you don't know. How about I show you all of them? One must be worst then the Cruciatus Curse... Wizards can inflict pain upon each other in different ways... By killing someone close to them or mental pain.
"By killing someone close to them, I mean, when Bella killed Black, you felt pain, did you not?"
Harry didn't answer. He knew the answer. Yes, it did bring him pain. And it still does. It brings him anger too.... He as good of killed Sirius...
"I'd take that as a yes," hissed Snape.
"Now, you have to be able to get over that kind of pain, like that" he snapped his fingers. "You have to be able to work the Unforgivables at command. If you can't then you could never be a death eater. Now, I will teach you to work them, and how to over power the Cruciatus, but I can't make you learn them. And if you are set and are ready to turn to the Dark Arts then you are ready. If not then you should leave now."
"I'm staying," said Harry firmly. "I don't want to use the Unforgivables, but if I have to for the light, I will."
"Right, Now I will teach you a few other curses that would come in handy when in the Dark Lord's training program. He will teach you those and only those that he thinks you couldn't use against him. I'm going to teach you one that you could," Snape looked into Harry's eyes and his scar burnt.
"First off, The Imperius Curse. There isn't a lot of power behind this curse, but an ordinary wizard couldn't perform it. Concentrate on what you want the person to do then say, Imperius, OK, now you try."
Harry concentrated on making Snape get away from him, and then pointed his wand at Snape and said "Imperius!" And Snape backed up into the corner. Harry made the spell lift and Snape stood there perplexed for a moment and then walked back to Harry.
"Very good, Potter. As you might have noticed I didn't fight back, but all the same. Next is the Cruciatus curse. It's harder then Imperius.... You have to want to harm the person... to enjoy it..."
"Then I wouldn't be able to do it, because I don't want to hurt anyone. I'm just here to be a spy for the Order and help," Harry said.
"Always playing the hero, aren't you Potter? Just like your fool of a father, big-headed..."
"AT LEAST MY DAD DIDN'T DO DARK ARTS, LIKE YOU! HE WAS A GREAT QUIDDITCH PLAYER, I BET YOU WERE JEALOUS, WEREN'T YOU? YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN A SLIMY GIT! AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I WANT TO BE LIKE MY DAD, AND NOT GO TO THE DARK, EVEN IF IT HELPS THE LIGHT! AND MY DAD WASN'T BIGHEADED, HE KNEW YOU WERE A BLOODY FUCKING GIT! AND I'M NOT ALWAYS PLAYING THE HERO, I PICK WHAT WAS RIGHT INSTEAD OF WHAT IS EASY, AND IF THAT IS PLAYING THE HERO THEN I WANT TO PLAY THE HERO. I CHOSE BETWEEN WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT WAS EASY, AND I PICKED WHAT WAS RIGHT. VOLDEMORT CAN KISS MY ASS, CAUSE I'LL NEVER JOIN THE DARK!" Harry yelled, and turned on his heal and walked out. Except he felt a hand on his shoulder stopping him and he tried to shake free, but Snape's grip was too strong.
"100 points from Gryffindor and another weeks worth of detentions!" Snape said, calmly. Harry managed to break free and turned to face Snape.
"For what?" Harry spat, "not wanting to join your old mate Voldemort?"
"Don't say the Dark Lord's name," hissed Snape.
"What are you afraid of old Voldemort? I could care less about you, and i don't see why my dad saved your life! You disgust me," Harry said darkly, not believing the words were his own. And he then turned on his heal and marched out of the room. No one was objecting him leaving.
***
That night at Quidditch Practice, the team was looking bad. Harry guessed the team was exhausted from classes. The only two people that were on the ball were Hermione, Mark and Ginny. The weather was terrible, the pitch was soaked, and it still was raining.
The Gryffindor team played a scrimmage with the Hufflepuff team. Hufflepuff won 190-110, Their seeker caught the snitch first, because Harry was thinking about today's events.
Harry landed next to his team who was looking discouraged.
"Sorry guys, I wasn't concentrating on the game, today's been a bad day for me," and Harry paused. "You guys were playing great, though." He added.
"We sucked," muttered Mark.
"Not that bad, we would of won if I'd caught the snitch we'd of won," Harry replied.
"If you'd of caught the snitch, we should be up there so even if they caught the snitch we'd still win. Why'd you pick Ginny and me? We both suck."
"No you don't, you got all twenty-in." Harry looked at his watch. "Mark, you got to get up to the castle now, it's ten minutes past eight, you have to be back and if your caught it will be both of our necks! And I already have two weeks of detentions."
"Why don't you have to leave?" Mark shot back.
"I'm Head Boy, and Ginny, Hermione and Ron are Prefects, Lavender's a sixth year, and Katie's a seventh, which means... we're your upperclassmen, and we're allowed to stay out later then you," Harry said through gritted teeth.
"Fine," he turned on his heel and walked off of the pitch.
"I think we'd better go up to the castle too, and get some rest. I don't know about you guys, but I had a really long day."
So without another word they marched off toward their common room. In their common room they all bid each other farewell and the girls walked to their dorms and the boys did the same.
Harry laid on his bed, deep in thought. His head pounding and his scar burning dully. He knew he wasn't going to get to sleep no matter how much he tried.
When his thoughts finally drifted aside he managed to fall asleep.
"Wormtail, did you find Bellatrix's location?" Harry asked in a high pitched cold voice.
"No, m-master... we haven't been able to yet. But we brought someone t-that might be u-useful-" stammered Wormtail, kneeling at Harry's feet.
"Who, Wormtail?" Harry said lazily, twirling his wand through his fingers.
"R-Remus L-Lupin.... H-he's in t-t-the Order, Master... I d-don't know h-how much h-he knows-"
"Silence! Bring this Remus Lupin to me, Wormtail. If he is no use to me then I will kill him like the others," Harry said taking a seat on his large throne with serpents carved into the arms.
"Master," pleaded Wormtail. "Lupin is a werewolf-!"
"Silence! I already knew, did I ask for a explanation?" Harry said and pulled out his wand and pointed it to Wormtail.
"No, master, of coarse not," Wormtail said backing up and then out of the room. A few minutes passed and then Wormtail walked in, with an man, graying brown hair and robes with the Slytherin crest on the front and serpents going down the sleeves. Remus Lupin looked tired. Even though he was young, he looked elderly. Lupin was struggling against his magical bindings and tried with all of his might to escape.
"Lupin," Remus Lupin looked up to being addressed by his name. Harry looked down on him with little pity or care. Harry had his wand drawn and pointing down at Lupin. "Where is Bellatrix Lestrange?"
"I'll never tell you anything, Voldemort!" Lupin said loudly.
"I think you'll change your mind..." And at that moment Harry realized he was inside of Voldemort's mind. When Voldemort tried to say 'Crucio', Harry stopped him and all that Voldemort got out was 'Cru.'
Harry couldn't tell what happened next. All he knew was that he was flying through time and space. In a whirlwind of color and life, the darkness of evil and for a moment he realized how he could kill Voldemort... And what Dumbledore meant by the power the Dark Lord knows naught... He'd have to sacrifice himself for Voldemort's life... Give Voldemort the force that he detests... love....
And Harry somehow knew when he'd wake up he wouldn't remember this and have to learn it all over again.