Title: Twelve Days 2
Author: ZenosParadox
Rating: PG-13
Summary: RS, Tu. Reed and Sato have a nursery rhyme experience with 4 calling birds, 5 golden rings and 6 geese a-laying. 3 of 3 chapters, 2nd of four episodes. WARNING: Even more puns ahead.
Disclaimer: The Enterprise characters belong to Paramount. This fiction was written solely for personal enjoyment.
TWELVE DAYS 2
FOUR CALLING BIRDS
December 29
Ensign Hoshi Sato rolled her shoulders while she sat at her station at the bridge. She closed her eyes for a moment and could feel his hands on her shoulders again. She had spent the night dreaming about decon and having her shoulders rubbed--among other things. Mmm.
"What was that, Ensign?" asked Captain Archer.
Sato blushed as she realized she must have moaned aloud. "Mm, breakfast was just delicious, don't you think? Waffles, yummy!"
Sato glanced back at the Captain's chair and was relieved that he seemed to accept the lame excuse. She then caught an odd expression on the face of Lieutenant Malcolm Reed from his station at tactical and couldn't prevent the suspicious glance she threw at him.
Reed noticed Sato's look and began to frown as he tried to remember what he possibly could have done wrong. Something in decon, perhaps? That was it; Hoshi was probably regretting he had ever touched her. Malcolm swallowed his disappointment and quickly looked down.
At that moment Sato wondered if Reed was thinking of decon, too? Her musings were interrupted when T'Pol called their attention to the screen.
"Sir, the vessel on our view screen is sending a distress call," came the voice of the Science Officer. Reed immediately chimed in with, "No weapons, it appears to be a small private craft, sir."
"Lieutenant Reed, use the grappler and bring it in. Take a security team to the launch bay. Hoshi, why don't you go with Malcolm in case the UT starts acting up again?" Archer then called engineering to say, "Commander Tucker, be prepared to head to the launch bay once it's cleared by security. It looks like we have another vessel that needs a fix-it man."
-----
Reed and Sato left the bridge to head to the launch bay. Reed released a heavy sigh before he said, "I just hope we don't have more poultry to deal with."
Sato offered him a sympathetic look. "Still recovering from smell of chicken excrement?"
Reed flashed his characteristic half-smile, "Actually, I was dreading another encounter with Ensign Partridge. Even another go at the chickens is preferable to his company."
Sato grinned and laughed softly. Reed enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment in being able to make her smile. It was just unfortunate that laughter was the only feeling he could evoke from her.
Reed and Sato entered the alien vessel while the security detail waited outside. Sitting on the floor all tangled in wires was an alien that was obviously from an avian species. The head was smooth and white with a black stripe running down the back and two black bars extending into the face like points of arrows. The top bar encompassed the black eyes and the other fell along the chin line. The yellow-orange mouth was narrow and Sato had to make several adjustments before the message was decoded.
"Does that look like a Christmas goose to you?" whispered Reed to Sato.
"A very BIG one, in fact," responded Sato. She was making adjustments to the UT while the avian muttered.
The officers soon heard a rather lisping voice. "O, thith ith wonderfful! P-pardon my enthuthiathm. I need athithtanthe!"
"Athithtanthe?" repeated Reed. He hated it when the UT burped like this. "Could you get the UT to cut out the lisp?"
Sato shrugged. The UT could translate languages, but speech impediments were a different matter.
Reed spoke to the alien, "You're in the launch bay of the thtar--starship Enterprise. My name is Reed. Could you please rephrase your earlier statement?"
"Thertainly; I need help. My name is Indicus. My preciouth and her thisters were on a transport ship visiting their mother, but there was a malfunction." Indicus now looked down sadly, but at least the UT was eliminating most of the lisp. "The ship went down in the solar sythtem you are approaching, but I can't be sure which planet. If I don't get to preciouth in time, I'll--I'll..."
At this point there was a hiss and loud honk from the proboscis, as Indicus could no longer contain his sorrow. His arms flapped at his side as he honked again loudly. "I am so sorry, but as you can thee, my little vethel lacks many resources. I MUST find my preciouth or--or--it's a matter of life and death."
Reed was somewhat suspicious, but Indicus looked so harmless. Reed glanced over at Sato and saw she already had that sympathetic expression about her. She moved closer to Indicus and gave him a warm smile.
Indicus flapped his arms in delight when he saw Sato. "Ah, a female of your species? How wonderful! Such beautiful eyeth!"
Indicus had drawn near Sato as she blushed at his compliment and reached out to touch her hair. His own eyes were almond shaped as well. "Pity they're not feathers. You must be blethed indeed to have your females with you."
Reed's eyes narrowed at the attention Indicus was paying to Sato, but merely said, "This is Ensign Hoshi Sato, Indicus, but the women of the crew are not our mates; they're colleagues. Uh, we work together."
"Oh? How strange! Well, perhapth that will change and you will find your mate here." Indicus patted Sato reassuringly on the back, then noticed Reed's intense gaze. Indicus merely cocked his head to one side and bobbed his head up and down. Yes, he was certain this young one would find her mate.
"Why don't you speak with our Captain? I'm sure he'll want to help you," assured Sato. The Ensign notified the bridge that all was clear. In the meantime, Reed and Sato untangled Indicus from the wires. Soon Captain Archer and Commander Tucker were at the launch bay.
"Welcome aboard, Indicus. I'm Captain Archer. Now, tell me about this party you're trying to rescue..."
Captain Archer walked along side the waddling Indicus as they made their way to the bridge. Tucker shook his head. Now he'd seen everything! He turned to his friends saying, "Does that alien look like a--"
"Yes," said Reed and Sato in synchrony. They suddenly exchanged a quick glance and the barest of nods. Time for some payback to the Commander. It was his fault they had wound up in decon together yesterday.
Tucker shrugged, but as he turned around, he felt the pinch on his bottom. He turned immediately to confront the culprit, but all he saw were Reed and Sato walking away in perfect step. Please, please, let it be Hoshi, thought Tucker. At that very moment, Reed turned his head for a backward glance and winked at the Commander. Tucker's groan could be heard as the officers retreated.
"Well done, Ensign," said Reed quietly to his companion.
"Goosing men is just one of my many talents, Lieutenant," responded Sato with a flash of her eyebrows. Reed told himself to quit imagining where her other talents lay.
-----
Archer proceeded to introduce the officers at the bridge stations to Indicus as Reed and Sato took their stations. The formalities were soon dispensed as Archer got down to business. "Now, which planet should we begin searching first? I'm sure our scanner will be able to detect the life forms you're looking for."
"I thought to begin with the furthest planet and work my way in until I found the distreth beacon. Our life forms are often difficult to dithtinguish from indiginous spethies." Indicus turned to the Captain. "Where should I take up my position, Captain? I don't want to get in your way."
"Why don't you take the seat near Lieutenant Reed?" Archer indicated the tactical station with a wave of his arm and Indicus waddled over. Reed held a tight smile on his face. Perfect, just perfect. Having a Christmas goose looking over his shoulder at the tactical station was just why he'd joined Starfleet. Perfect.
"The frequency you specified has not been detected; however, we should do a slow orbit around each planet to be certain." This suggestion came from the science station. T'Pol sounded just a bit miffed. Unlike other species they had encountered, Indicus exhibited no interest in the Vulcan.
"Very well. Travis, proceed with orbit until scans are complete." Archer settled back in his chair while Indicus settled into the chair beside Reed.
-----
Unlike a certain ensign that Reed would rather forget, Indicus knew how to be quiet. He would respond to Archer's queries, but appeared to be content to hum softly to himself and look at Sato from where he sat. Rather than find his presence irritating, the Tactical Officer found the alien a comfortable companion. The fact that Sato absorbed Indicus' attention meant that Reed could also find excuses to look at her. The next few hours passed quite pleasantly, but the first two planets failed to have any sign of the beacon.
The big surprise of the day came as they moved toward the third planet. Four Klingon scouters suddenly came into view as their ships whipped around the planet as if they were in a race. Archer could feel Reed tense, then heard the claxon sounding as Reed's quiet voice said, "Captain, tactical alert has been initiated."
"Incoming calls from the Klingon Raptors, Captain," said Sato from her station. She seemed to hesitate, then continued, "Sir, they're all trying to relay their messages at once. . . Wait. I think I can patch through and split the screen. Lieutenant, I'll need to move to your station."
Reed sat up and stepped aside as Sato punched in some quick commands. She managed to overlay the comm lines with the visuals used to inspect the phase cannons and hull plating.
The Klingon Captains immediately appeared on screen with each one occupying a quadrant. The Klingon on the upper right appeared to suddenly pull himself out of a doze. The one below him had a tic that kept shutting his left eye. His colleague to his right had a problem with both eyes closing while above him the last Klingon continually bobbed his head. This was the quirkiest set of Klingons the Enterprise had ever encountered.
The Captains of the Raptros began to speak again, but the interruptions thankfully went in clockwise order. "I am Snuz. Prepare to be de--!"
"Back off, Snuz, you old geezer. This is my kill. Prepare to be destroyed by Winq'm. You have--"
"No one is taking this kill from Blinq'm! Now go--"
At this point Reed whispered to Sato, "Just a guess, but I bet the last Captain is named Nod."
The last Klingon Captain transmitted as the other three were arguing among themselves, "You will be destroyed by Nahd! Prepare to die!"
Only the danger of the situation allowed Sato and Reed to contain their mirth, but Sato couldn't keep from whispering to Reed, "Think our goose is cooked?"
Without missing a beat, Reed responded with, "That's cruel punishment, Ensign." He was expecting the swat on the arm he received. "If only there were some way to get the Captains to quit bickering and pay attention."
"#######," Ensign Sato emitted a loud expletive in Klingon that got all of the Captains' attention. Sato turned sweetly to Captain Archer and said, "I think they'll listen now."
Sato saw Reed flash her that I'm-impressed look. She merely arched a delicate brow and gave her attention back to the situation. She loved getting those looks from Reed. Perhaps her next rubdown was just hours away?
"I am Jonathan Archer from the starship Enterprise. Perhaps you've heard of us?" Archer crossed his arms over his chest. He hadn't seen Klingons shrugging before. The crew waited for more of a response from the Klingon Captains. Silence. One Captain did yawn; perhaps it was Snuz?
"We returned Klaang to your homeworld and we helped the Klingon Raptor caught in the gas giant?" Archer added this hoping it would prod their memory. Suddenly, the Captains began to speak.
"Let's just all blow the ship up"
"And have you accidentally hit us, Winq'm?"
"Like you did to Snuz last time, Blinq'm?"
"No one takes a victory away from Nahd!"
Indicus suddenly stood up, waddled over to Captain Archer and hissed. His robe slid off his body and he extended his arms to fully reveal an impressive wingspan. "NO! Hold your fire!"
"You carry Ansers!" exclaimed the Klingon Captains in synchrony. They all bowed respectfully and Snuz offered, "Give us your blessing, Wise Anser, and we will withdraw."
Indicus did not seem surprised at the way the Klingons backed down. Instead he kept his wings outspread and turned his beak upward. "The blessings of the stars be upon you. You shall own the sky. Freedom of flight be yours. Now, you must complete the ancient ritual."
The four Captains immediately assumed identical positions. They first brought their hands in front of them into a pincer position, opening and closing their thumb against their fingers slowly four times. Next they brought their hands onto their shoulders and moved their arms up and down four times.
Sato again whispered to Reed, "Is that the..."
Reed was nodding, "Chicken dance."
Sure enough, the Klingon Captains next swung their hips four times and completed the ritual with four claps of their hands. Sato cast an incredulous look at Reed. Archer was staring open mouthed at the display and blinking rapidly. Only the Vulcan was expressionless as the ritual was completed, although her head was cocked to one side.
Indicus merely bobbed his head once to each Captain and said, "Well done. Fly free."
The four Klingon Raptors moved off. A collective sigh could be heard throughout the bridge.
"That's one hell of a goose!" observed Sato.
"More like a thunderbird," replied Reed. He saw the question on Sato's face. "Native American folklore, the Thunderbird."
Sato nodded and as she rose to regain her comm station, said, "In Japanese it's called a raicho."
T'Pol looked around at the humans and could sense their humor, but not its source. She caught Archer's eye, and he mouthed Later to her.
"The Klingon ships are maintaining their course away from us, sir," Reed said as he again took up his station. They watched the ships speed away.
"Why did the Klingons back down, Indicus?" asked Archer. He was still having trouble believing a harmless individual such as Indicus could chase off four Klingon Captains, even granted that they were probably facing the dregs of the Klingon fleet.
"They use our image for their warships, Captain. Ansers hold a place in Klingon mythology. To harm uth would be to bring great misfortune to their ship." Indicus had retrieved his robe and settled it back on his shoulders. The Anser was humming to himself again and appeared to be smiling between Reed and Sato.
-----
Although the search left them empty handed, Indicus seemed to maintain his happy spirits and the belief that the Enterprise would be able to help him find his preciouth. He waddled off to join Archer in the Captain's mess while the rest of the bridge crew dispersed.
After dinner Sato approached the gym. Reed had successfully avoided her during the meal by running off to check things in the armory. She shook her head as she considered what she wanted from him. If only he would be more open about his feelings. Instead he would be very professional then become flustered when they ventured into personal territory. She rolled her shoulders and pouted a bit. No rubdown tonight.
Her mood was uplifted as soon as she stepped into the gym. Reed was in the gravity running wheel, and bless his heart, he was wearing shorts and a nice, body hugging t-shirt for his work out. The man wasn't tall, but the muscles on his legs and thighs were well proportioned. Furthermore, she currently had a nice view of his backside as his body was turned upside down and away from her at the moment. Sato sighed in contentment and immediately pulled down the zipper of her jacket to shrug out of the garment.
Reed heard the zipping sound and immediately turned to see who had entered, but was still upside down. His eyes fell upon a very familiar naval and tummy. He scanned upward to find Sato smiling at him and immediately brought himself upright in the running wheel.
"Sorry, did I distract you?" asked Sato with that innocent look on her face. Oh, yes, she had had a very nice view.
Reed looked away as he shook his head. If only she knew what a distraction she had become to him. "I was just finishing up, Ensign. It's been a long day and rather fruitless."
"Do you think we'll have any luck tomorrow helping Indicus?" asked Sato as Reed stepped out of the running wheel and toweled off.
"I certainly hope so. I still find it hard to believe that his presence was sufficient to send four Klingon raptors on their way." Reed stole another covert glance at Sato. He was beginning to think he was more of a Belly Button Man than a Bum Man. If only she'd kept her jacket on!
"Imagine how scared I was. Calls coming in from all four... Malcolm, you still think it's just coincidence?" Hoshi looked perturbed, but she didn't have to explain it.
"Four calling birds, you mean?" Malcolm gave a quick shake of his head. "Coincidence. Besides, they're warships, not real birds with feathers."
"Want to make a bet we meet some variation of five gold rings tomorrow?" asked Sato with a quirk of her eyebrow.
Reed enjoyed a challenge. What harm could come from making a bet with the Ensign? "Very well. I say we don't meet with any more symbols from the Twelve Days of Christmas. I'm quite tired of fowl, by the way. What's the prize for winning the bet?"
Sato leaned into Reed. He could feel her hair brushing against his face as she whispered in his ear, "A shoulder rub."
A shoulder rub? Did that mean she didn't mind him touching her? No, he was not going to misread Ensign Hoshi Sato again; she just wanted some cheap physical therapy. "Done."
-----
That night, Malcolm had a disturbing dream. Hoshi kept saying she needed her shoulders rubbed again, but he couldn't get to her because four Klingon Captains kept doing the chicken dance and getting in his way. Malcolm woke up in a foul mood.
*****
Author: ZenosParadox
Rating: PG-13
Summary: RS, Tu. Reed and Sato have a nursery rhyme experience with 4 calling birds, 5 golden rings and 6 geese a-laying. 3 of 3 chapters, 2nd of four episodes. WARNING: Even more puns ahead.
Disclaimer: The Enterprise characters belong to Paramount. This fiction was written solely for personal enjoyment.
TWELVE DAYS 2
FOUR CALLING BIRDS
December 29
Ensign Hoshi Sato rolled her shoulders while she sat at her station at the bridge. She closed her eyes for a moment and could feel his hands on her shoulders again. She had spent the night dreaming about decon and having her shoulders rubbed--among other things. Mmm.
"What was that, Ensign?" asked Captain Archer.
Sato blushed as she realized she must have moaned aloud. "Mm, breakfast was just delicious, don't you think? Waffles, yummy!"
Sato glanced back at the Captain's chair and was relieved that he seemed to accept the lame excuse. She then caught an odd expression on the face of Lieutenant Malcolm Reed from his station at tactical and couldn't prevent the suspicious glance she threw at him.
Reed noticed Sato's look and began to frown as he tried to remember what he possibly could have done wrong. Something in decon, perhaps? That was it; Hoshi was probably regretting he had ever touched her. Malcolm swallowed his disappointment and quickly looked down.
At that moment Sato wondered if Reed was thinking of decon, too? Her musings were interrupted when T'Pol called their attention to the screen.
"Sir, the vessel on our view screen is sending a distress call," came the voice of the Science Officer. Reed immediately chimed in with, "No weapons, it appears to be a small private craft, sir."
"Lieutenant Reed, use the grappler and bring it in. Take a security team to the launch bay. Hoshi, why don't you go with Malcolm in case the UT starts acting up again?" Archer then called engineering to say, "Commander Tucker, be prepared to head to the launch bay once it's cleared by security. It looks like we have another vessel that needs a fix-it man."
-----
Reed and Sato left the bridge to head to the launch bay. Reed released a heavy sigh before he said, "I just hope we don't have more poultry to deal with."
Sato offered him a sympathetic look. "Still recovering from smell of chicken excrement?"
Reed flashed his characteristic half-smile, "Actually, I was dreading another encounter with Ensign Partridge. Even another go at the chickens is preferable to his company."
Sato grinned and laughed softly. Reed enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment in being able to make her smile. It was just unfortunate that laughter was the only feeling he could evoke from her.
Reed and Sato entered the alien vessel while the security detail waited outside. Sitting on the floor all tangled in wires was an alien that was obviously from an avian species. The head was smooth and white with a black stripe running down the back and two black bars extending into the face like points of arrows. The top bar encompassed the black eyes and the other fell along the chin line. The yellow-orange mouth was narrow and Sato had to make several adjustments before the message was decoded.
"Does that look like a Christmas goose to you?" whispered Reed to Sato.
"A very BIG one, in fact," responded Sato. She was making adjustments to the UT while the avian muttered.
The officers soon heard a rather lisping voice. "O, thith ith wonderfful! P-pardon my enthuthiathm. I need athithtanthe!"
"Athithtanthe?" repeated Reed. He hated it when the UT burped like this. "Could you get the UT to cut out the lisp?"
Sato shrugged. The UT could translate languages, but speech impediments were a different matter.
Reed spoke to the alien, "You're in the launch bay of the thtar--starship Enterprise. My name is Reed. Could you please rephrase your earlier statement?"
"Thertainly; I need help. My name is Indicus. My preciouth and her thisters were on a transport ship visiting their mother, but there was a malfunction." Indicus now looked down sadly, but at least the UT was eliminating most of the lisp. "The ship went down in the solar sythtem you are approaching, but I can't be sure which planet. If I don't get to preciouth in time, I'll--I'll..."
At this point there was a hiss and loud honk from the proboscis, as Indicus could no longer contain his sorrow. His arms flapped at his side as he honked again loudly. "I am so sorry, but as you can thee, my little vethel lacks many resources. I MUST find my preciouth or--or--it's a matter of life and death."
Reed was somewhat suspicious, but Indicus looked so harmless. Reed glanced over at Sato and saw she already had that sympathetic expression about her. She moved closer to Indicus and gave him a warm smile.
Indicus flapped his arms in delight when he saw Sato. "Ah, a female of your species? How wonderful! Such beautiful eyeth!"
Indicus had drawn near Sato as she blushed at his compliment and reached out to touch her hair. His own eyes were almond shaped as well. "Pity they're not feathers. You must be blethed indeed to have your females with you."
Reed's eyes narrowed at the attention Indicus was paying to Sato, but merely said, "This is Ensign Hoshi Sato, Indicus, but the women of the crew are not our mates; they're colleagues. Uh, we work together."
"Oh? How strange! Well, perhapth that will change and you will find your mate here." Indicus patted Sato reassuringly on the back, then noticed Reed's intense gaze. Indicus merely cocked his head to one side and bobbed his head up and down. Yes, he was certain this young one would find her mate.
"Why don't you speak with our Captain? I'm sure he'll want to help you," assured Sato. The Ensign notified the bridge that all was clear. In the meantime, Reed and Sato untangled Indicus from the wires. Soon Captain Archer and Commander Tucker were at the launch bay.
"Welcome aboard, Indicus. I'm Captain Archer. Now, tell me about this party you're trying to rescue..."
Captain Archer walked along side the waddling Indicus as they made their way to the bridge. Tucker shook his head. Now he'd seen everything! He turned to his friends saying, "Does that alien look like a--"
"Yes," said Reed and Sato in synchrony. They suddenly exchanged a quick glance and the barest of nods. Time for some payback to the Commander. It was his fault they had wound up in decon together yesterday.
Tucker shrugged, but as he turned around, he felt the pinch on his bottom. He turned immediately to confront the culprit, but all he saw were Reed and Sato walking away in perfect step. Please, please, let it be Hoshi, thought Tucker. At that very moment, Reed turned his head for a backward glance and winked at the Commander. Tucker's groan could be heard as the officers retreated.
"Well done, Ensign," said Reed quietly to his companion.
"Goosing men is just one of my many talents, Lieutenant," responded Sato with a flash of her eyebrows. Reed told himself to quit imagining where her other talents lay.
-----
Archer proceeded to introduce the officers at the bridge stations to Indicus as Reed and Sato took their stations. The formalities were soon dispensed as Archer got down to business. "Now, which planet should we begin searching first? I'm sure our scanner will be able to detect the life forms you're looking for."
"I thought to begin with the furthest planet and work my way in until I found the distreth beacon. Our life forms are often difficult to dithtinguish from indiginous spethies." Indicus turned to the Captain. "Where should I take up my position, Captain? I don't want to get in your way."
"Why don't you take the seat near Lieutenant Reed?" Archer indicated the tactical station with a wave of his arm and Indicus waddled over. Reed held a tight smile on his face. Perfect, just perfect. Having a Christmas goose looking over his shoulder at the tactical station was just why he'd joined Starfleet. Perfect.
"The frequency you specified has not been detected; however, we should do a slow orbit around each planet to be certain." This suggestion came from the science station. T'Pol sounded just a bit miffed. Unlike other species they had encountered, Indicus exhibited no interest in the Vulcan.
"Very well. Travis, proceed with orbit until scans are complete." Archer settled back in his chair while Indicus settled into the chair beside Reed.
-----
Unlike a certain ensign that Reed would rather forget, Indicus knew how to be quiet. He would respond to Archer's queries, but appeared to be content to hum softly to himself and look at Sato from where he sat. Rather than find his presence irritating, the Tactical Officer found the alien a comfortable companion. The fact that Sato absorbed Indicus' attention meant that Reed could also find excuses to look at her. The next few hours passed quite pleasantly, but the first two planets failed to have any sign of the beacon.
The big surprise of the day came as they moved toward the third planet. Four Klingon scouters suddenly came into view as their ships whipped around the planet as if they were in a race. Archer could feel Reed tense, then heard the claxon sounding as Reed's quiet voice said, "Captain, tactical alert has been initiated."
"Incoming calls from the Klingon Raptors, Captain," said Sato from her station. She seemed to hesitate, then continued, "Sir, they're all trying to relay their messages at once. . . Wait. I think I can patch through and split the screen. Lieutenant, I'll need to move to your station."
Reed sat up and stepped aside as Sato punched in some quick commands. She managed to overlay the comm lines with the visuals used to inspect the phase cannons and hull plating.
The Klingon Captains immediately appeared on screen with each one occupying a quadrant. The Klingon on the upper right appeared to suddenly pull himself out of a doze. The one below him had a tic that kept shutting his left eye. His colleague to his right had a problem with both eyes closing while above him the last Klingon continually bobbed his head. This was the quirkiest set of Klingons the Enterprise had ever encountered.
The Captains of the Raptros began to speak again, but the interruptions thankfully went in clockwise order. "I am Snuz. Prepare to be de--!"
"Back off, Snuz, you old geezer. This is my kill. Prepare to be destroyed by Winq'm. You have--"
"No one is taking this kill from Blinq'm! Now go--"
At this point Reed whispered to Sato, "Just a guess, but I bet the last Captain is named Nod."
The last Klingon Captain transmitted as the other three were arguing among themselves, "You will be destroyed by Nahd! Prepare to die!"
Only the danger of the situation allowed Sato and Reed to contain their mirth, but Sato couldn't keep from whispering to Reed, "Think our goose is cooked?"
Without missing a beat, Reed responded with, "That's cruel punishment, Ensign." He was expecting the swat on the arm he received. "If only there were some way to get the Captains to quit bickering and pay attention."
"#######," Ensign Sato emitted a loud expletive in Klingon that got all of the Captains' attention. Sato turned sweetly to Captain Archer and said, "I think they'll listen now."
Sato saw Reed flash her that I'm-impressed look. She merely arched a delicate brow and gave her attention back to the situation. She loved getting those looks from Reed. Perhaps her next rubdown was just hours away?
"I am Jonathan Archer from the starship Enterprise. Perhaps you've heard of us?" Archer crossed his arms over his chest. He hadn't seen Klingons shrugging before. The crew waited for more of a response from the Klingon Captains. Silence. One Captain did yawn; perhaps it was Snuz?
"We returned Klaang to your homeworld and we helped the Klingon Raptor caught in the gas giant?" Archer added this hoping it would prod their memory. Suddenly, the Captains began to speak.
"Let's just all blow the ship up"
"And have you accidentally hit us, Winq'm?"
"Like you did to Snuz last time, Blinq'm?"
"No one takes a victory away from Nahd!"
Indicus suddenly stood up, waddled over to Captain Archer and hissed. His robe slid off his body and he extended his arms to fully reveal an impressive wingspan. "NO! Hold your fire!"
"You carry Ansers!" exclaimed the Klingon Captains in synchrony. They all bowed respectfully and Snuz offered, "Give us your blessing, Wise Anser, and we will withdraw."
Indicus did not seem surprised at the way the Klingons backed down. Instead he kept his wings outspread and turned his beak upward. "The blessings of the stars be upon you. You shall own the sky. Freedom of flight be yours. Now, you must complete the ancient ritual."
The four Captains immediately assumed identical positions. They first brought their hands in front of them into a pincer position, opening and closing their thumb against their fingers slowly four times. Next they brought their hands onto their shoulders and moved their arms up and down four times.
Sato again whispered to Reed, "Is that the..."
Reed was nodding, "Chicken dance."
Sure enough, the Klingon Captains next swung their hips four times and completed the ritual with four claps of their hands. Sato cast an incredulous look at Reed. Archer was staring open mouthed at the display and blinking rapidly. Only the Vulcan was expressionless as the ritual was completed, although her head was cocked to one side.
Indicus merely bobbed his head once to each Captain and said, "Well done. Fly free."
The four Klingon Raptors moved off. A collective sigh could be heard throughout the bridge.
"That's one hell of a goose!" observed Sato.
"More like a thunderbird," replied Reed. He saw the question on Sato's face. "Native American folklore, the Thunderbird."
Sato nodded and as she rose to regain her comm station, said, "In Japanese it's called a raicho."
T'Pol looked around at the humans and could sense their humor, but not its source. She caught Archer's eye, and he mouthed Later to her.
"The Klingon ships are maintaining their course away from us, sir," Reed said as he again took up his station. They watched the ships speed away.
"Why did the Klingons back down, Indicus?" asked Archer. He was still having trouble believing a harmless individual such as Indicus could chase off four Klingon Captains, even granted that they were probably facing the dregs of the Klingon fleet.
"They use our image for their warships, Captain. Ansers hold a place in Klingon mythology. To harm uth would be to bring great misfortune to their ship." Indicus had retrieved his robe and settled it back on his shoulders. The Anser was humming to himself again and appeared to be smiling between Reed and Sato.
-----
Although the search left them empty handed, Indicus seemed to maintain his happy spirits and the belief that the Enterprise would be able to help him find his preciouth. He waddled off to join Archer in the Captain's mess while the rest of the bridge crew dispersed.
After dinner Sato approached the gym. Reed had successfully avoided her during the meal by running off to check things in the armory. She shook her head as she considered what she wanted from him. If only he would be more open about his feelings. Instead he would be very professional then become flustered when they ventured into personal territory. She rolled her shoulders and pouted a bit. No rubdown tonight.
Her mood was uplifted as soon as she stepped into the gym. Reed was in the gravity running wheel, and bless his heart, he was wearing shorts and a nice, body hugging t-shirt for his work out. The man wasn't tall, but the muscles on his legs and thighs were well proportioned. Furthermore, she currently had a nice view of his backside as his body was turned upside down and away from her at the moment. Sato sighed in contentment and immediately pulled down the zipper of her jacket to shrug out of the garment.
Reed heard the zipping sound and immediately turned to see who had entered, but was still upside down. His eyes fell upon a very familiar naval and tummy. He scanned upward to find Sato smiling at him and immediately brought himself upright in the running wheel.
"Sorry, did I distract you?" asked Sato with that innocent look on her face. Oh, yes, she had had a very nice view.
Reed looked away as he shook his head. If only she knew what a distraction she had become to him. "I was just finishing up, Ensign. It's been a long day and rather fruitless."
"Do you think we'll have any luck tomorrow helping Indicus?" asked Sato as Reed stepped out of the running wheel and toweled off.
"I certainly hope so. I still find it hard to believe that his presence was sufficient to send four Klingon raptors on their way." Reed stole another covert glance at Sato. He was beginning to think he was more of a Belly Button Man than a Bum Man. If only she'd kept her jacket on!
"Imagine how scared I was. Calls coming in from all four... Malcolm, you still think it's just coincidence?" Hoshi looked perturbed, but she didn't have to explain it.
"Four calling birds, you mean?" Malcolm gave a quick shake of his head. "Coincidence. Besides, they're warships, not real birds with feathers."
"Want to make a bet we meet some variation of five gold rings tomorrow?" asked Sato with a quirk of her eyebrow.
Reed enjoyed a challenge. What harm could come from making a bet with the Ensign? "Very well. I say we don't meet with any more symbols from the Twelve Days of Christmas. I'm quite tired of fowl, by the way. What's the prize for winning the bet?"
Sato leaned into Reed. He could feel her hair brushing against his face as she whispered in his ear, "A shoulder rub."
A shoulder rub? Did that mean she didn't mind him touching her? No, he was not going to misread Ensign Hoshi Sato again; she just wanted some cheap physical therapy. "Done."
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That night, Malcolm had a disturbing dream. Hoshi kept saying she needed her shoulders rubbed again, but he couldn't get to her because four Klingon Captains kept doing the chicken dance and getting in his way. Malcolm woke up in a foul mood.
*****