Day Twenty-One,

Elizabeth had a baby boy! He is absolutely adorable! Will decided he should be called Jack. I had to stifle laughter when I heard this. The world is bad enough with just ONE Jack!

We got back to The Ebony Swann late. Torrennes came with us. Jack followed me to my room but I just told him "Goodnight!" and shut the door in his face. I was much too tired.

We left port in the dead of night for fear that The Avengers crew might make good of their ship's name and come after us as we slept.

Torrennes and I spoke this morning. She is quite kind and courteous. We talked about nothing in particular. She told me how head-hunting brings in great money, and I told her about how as far as jailers go, Jack was quite amazing. (he still is my jailer, you know I never thought of that!)

Day Twenty-Two,

I'm in a rower, slowly heading back to port alone and bitter. Life has a way of spiting me. But let me start where this all started.

Torrennes isn't just a head-hunter. I may be bitter but I will admit that I owe her. She must've decided that the best and most profitable option was to kill Jack quietly, just like she did to Barbossa. And she decided that since I was close to Jack, I was a good route to take.

This evening when Jack was in his room and I just happened to be emerging from mine, Torrennes walked in on Jack, intending to kill him. There was just one little flaw in her plan; he wasn't alone.

Anna-Maria was with him. And I mean 'with' him. I saw

That jackass! I hope he rots in hell! I've left The Ebony Swann. I never want to see him again. He may have hit on Aletté but this is different! He actually 'did' Anna-Maria! And not a day after me! I cant believe I ever thought he'd be faithful!

Day Twenty-Three,

When I awoke this morning I suddenly knew what I had to do. Jack may have tore me away from my old life, but I know of a way I can get back again.

Head-hunting.

And there's only one pirate I know I can get for sure. The last real legendary pirate on the sea.

I'm going to kill Captain Jack Sparrow.

Day Twenty-Four,

"Where's Jack?" Elizabeth seemed startled. "Tell me!"

"He's below decks. I think in your old room, Morgan how did you get back here?" I clipped past her and dashed down the worn staircase I'd climbed so many times before. I opened the door to my room, pistol at the ready. There was Jack, looking despondent, sitting on my bed. He looked up when he heard me enter, and raised his hands (and eyebrows) in surprise. At the sight of him my whole body surged with anger, hatred, and confusion. I wanted to touch him, to love. But I also wanted to turn and run.

"I've missed you, luv."

I glared at him. "Why would you miss me, you've got Anna-Maria?"

We were both silent. "I-" he stammered, as if it were painful to speak.

"I love you."

It was the last thing I expected him to say. I felt weak in the knees again. My pistol fumbled in my hands. I staggered and almost fell.

He caught me. His touch made me tremble. I wanted to just lie there weakly in his arms forever, but I knew I couldn't. But I couldn't kill him either. And I know why.

I'm in love.

Sad but true.

I leaned in close to him and whispered in his ear so that only he could hear. "I despise you, Captain Jack Sparrow."

Our cheeks brushed as I turned to leave, but his arms grabbed me gently at the waist.

He kissed me.

I just stood there, letting my lips be kissed, letting him hold me so tenderly. And then, for reasons unfathomable by mortal or god, I began to kiss him. I wanted to just freeze the world right there and never have to move on. When he stopped kissing me I whispered to him again.

"This doesn't mean I don't still despise you." His arms loosened and just cradled me softly.

"Maybe this will change your mind." He kissed me again, longer and harder. He paused. "Forgive me." As we kissed , his hands slid from my back to my chest, and he began to gently undo my shift.

Not this time, Jack. I placed my hands on top of his to sill them. I re-tied my shift, and pulled away, leaving Jack looking puzzled.

I flew across the deck to the swan bearing. I sat there and cried as the sky around me grew dim. My cheeks stung with cold where tears had made them wet.

Love is a horrible thing. You cant help who you love, love just is. I don't know what I love him for. I cant seem to live without him, but he's a pirate. A traveller. A rouge.

He'll never marry me.

I wanted to hurl myself off the bearing and be crushed into the foam of the sea, but something tells me I have some idyllic, some heroine to play before my life ends.

I wish I was dead.

Suddenly Will climbed onto the bearing from around the swan's wings. He slid down into the seat beside me. I got up to leave but his hand stayed me. "Rotten weather."

"I suppose." I sighed. My voice sounded hollow and emotionless. I wasn't going to let him see me cry.

"So you came back." He continued, "I had a feeling Jack would draw you back here."

I scowled. "Jack had nothing to do with it! Well…" He did, though. I came back to square with him. "… its not what you think."

"Its exactly what I think." He said in an acid tone. "You love him."

I surged with anger in every part of my being. "Don't you EVER presume that you know what or whom I care for, William Turner." My voice sliced through the chilly air like a blade. "How would you know anyways? Just because I came back-"

He cut me off. "Doesn't mean you came back to love him." Pause. "You came back to hurt him, didn't you?"

Tears spilled from my eyes. "How do you know these things?" I choked through a sob. He drew close to me and placed his arms around me gently, but in a brotherly way. He didn't make me flutter like Jack, but he gave me comfort.

Comfort enough to make me spill my guts to him.

I told him everything, starting where this diary starts, and ending where he comes in, when we first kissed thirteen days ago.

I didn't tell him about spending the night with Jack. Twice. He doesn't need to know that.

After all was said and done we were quiet. "Can I ask you something?" I nodded. "Did you ever tell him that you loved him back?" I was about to nod, but I stopped myself. I never did. I never said anything even remotely LIKE I love you.

"I suppose I never did." I sighed.

"Do you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you love him?" He repeated.

"I… I don't know." My voice was racked with emotion.

"Then I suggest you figure that out before you two.. Well, before you go any further."

He meant before I sleep with him.

Too late, Will. Much too late

Day Twenty-Five,

I've said it before. I'll say it again. Life has a way of spiting me.

Everything I own (two shifts, three belts, a jacket, and a pair of old shoes) is packed away in a carpet bag. I'm leaving, and I should be happy. But I'm not.

It started this morning. Will burst into my room disgustingly early with rather shocking news; my father is in port looking for his "poor daughter who was kidnapped by pirates." Will asked me if I wanted to row myself into port, or if I wanted someone to help me. And then he added, almost as an afterthought, that I might want to stay.

But I'm an aristocrat. No matter how much I adapt, I'll always be one. I was brought up in a house were everything was structured and scheduled. I was taught by a private tutor. I've always had my own maid. And no matter how much I think I love Jack, he can never replace my family. He can never be the kind of man I could have children with.

To put it another way; I will never be Morgan Sparrow.

I'm not leaving because I cant be a pirate or I'm afraid of a new life. I'm leaving because it's the right thing to do. Because Jack keeps making me go crazy and because if I love someone I want him to be faithful and true, like Will. I want to have children and live a happy life and be a good mother. I want to be a wife.

And I want Jack.

But I want all these other things so much more, and he cant give them to me. He cant be a father or a faithful husband. Some people just aren't cut out to be.

Tomorrow Jack's rowing me to shore. I'm getting out at the outskirts of the port, and then I'm to wait an hour so that The Ebony Swann can be safely on its way before my father sends out his redcoats.

The first thing I'll do when I get home is have a hot bath. I haven't had one for a while. I'm putting this whole pirate episode out of my head. Its over. Its past. As fleeting as wind in the sails.

Day Twenty-Six,

This morning I said goodbye to Elizabeth and baby Jack in their room. Up on deck, Aletté and I had a rather vague but sad parting. Anna-Maria came to bid me adieu but I didn't really feel like having some sort of sisterly tearful goodbye with HER.

As I prepared to leave, Will ran up on deck for a last farewell. He must've sensed my heavy heart because he immediately hugged me, carpet bag, which did make me feel just a bit better. Its funny; at first I would have had anyone but him see me cry, but now I trust him more than anyone else.

All of the strangest days of my life have been grey and foggy. This was no exception. We rowed to shore in silence. He glanced at me the odd time, but I kept my eyes on the water gliding smoothly past the whitewashed sides of our rower. When we pulled up on an old gravel beach Jack jumped from the boat into knee-deep water and offered me his hand to help me out.

Once I was standing safely on the beach with my bag, he turned back to the boat and got ready to push off. Will's words had been echoing in my head. "Did you ever tell him you loved him back?"

"Jack?" My nails dug into my bag. He turned back to me and left the rower half-docked. I hesitated. "I cant love you."

He drew me close to him, stroking my cheek gently. "I figured as much, luv." He kissed me, but so lightly I could barely feel it. Then he turned and pushed the rower back out on the water.

I watched him disappear into the grey fog. I wanted to cry but my eyes were parched and dry.

Why is it so hard to say goodbye to the man who ruined my life?

Day Thirty,

For the last few days I've been to sad to write. I'm home. I'm safe. I'm with my family. I must admit that I was happy to see them -especially mother- but not happy enough to forget about Jack. I miss Will and Elizabeth too, but especially Jack.

Have you ever wondered if maybe doing the right thing is sometimes the wrong thing to do? I've been thinking a lot lately. Maybe I should've stayed. Maybe I should've run after him. But I didn't. And now I'm at home in an airy and scenic town in the southern bay. Sad. And alone.

Day Thirty-One,

I'm restless. I've taken to pacing my bedroom over and over during the day. I've read and re-read this diary time and time again. At night I cannot sleep. I lie awake and replay everything in my mind. Last night I got up in that witching hour between night time and dawn when the sky turns that murky grey colour. I made my way down to the shore. The water lapped silently at the smooth and worn rocks.

I missed Jack.

I suppose standing on that gravel beach with a warm fog billowing off the dark waters brought me back. I could almost see Jack rowing away in the distance. Rowing back to his ship. Back to his life. And out of mine.

Tears spilled down my cheeks.

"Forgive me." I whispered to the night.

And it did. The night forgave me. Fate forgave me. I could see someone, now, rowing into shore. It was a man, judging by the set of his shoulders. I took a few timid steps backward. And then I saw it; his hat. Jack's hat. He was close enough that I could make out the distinctive shape of his hat.

"Jack?" I cried out across the waters. He stopped rowing. His boat drifted slowly toward the shore. I could see him through the fog now. Not clearly, but clear enough to recognise him by. He stepped out of the boat into knee-deep waters.

"Morgan?"

At the sound of his voice I ran toward him. My dress became horribly heavy and its excruciatingly hard to run in knee-deep water, but I didn't care. I ran to him and flung myself into his arms.

He fell backwards into the water, and I fell on top of him. "Jack!" I laughed. I was soaked and freezing cold but his arms were so warm.

I kissed HIM this time. It was the only time I'd ever kissed him first. When we stopped he picked me up and spun me around by the waist. "So have you made a decision, luv?"

"About what?"

"About me." He answered.

I giggled and whispered in his ear. "I despise you, Captain Jack Sparrow."

He lifted me off the ground and kissed me softly.

"I love you." I whispered.

A light flickered coming down the hill from the port. My father's voice was calling in the distance. Jack helped me into the boat and began to row away. As we did, Papa stepped onto the beach, candle in hand, calling my name with only echoes to answer him.

I waited until we were safely engulfed in fog and out of earshot before I spoke.

"Why did you come back?"

He looked surprised. "Well the dearest captain of The Swann decided you were best left to your own devices and let go, so I had to commandeer a new ship, didn't I luv?"

"What ship?"

"A nice big one. A real powerful flagship. Maybe you've heard of it, 'The Imprintor'."

My jaw dropped. "The Imprintor?" He nodded. "You stole my father's ship?" I began to laugh. "Oh he is going to EXPLODE!"

We laughed and he gently pulled me over to him by the waist. I lay my head against his shoulders.

We reached The Imprintor quicker than I'd expected. Went to my usual room. Jack followed me.

I turned around, kissed him and said "Goodnight Jack." The crew didn't see, and it deterred him from following me any further. How much energy does he think I have?