Mother has finally started talking to me again properly now, for which I
am very glad. I do not like being at odds with her, and although we may not
always see eye to eye, it pains me when things are awkward between us,
especially when the cause is something as trivial as the events of the
other evening. Things are still a little strained, but I hope soon that the
situation will return to normal again. However, I do feel that soon I may
have more reason to be annoyed with her than she with me, although I hope
that for once I am wrong.
Anyway, today I spent the afternoon at Grace's, a call which I grudgingly agreed to make despite my reservations over spending a day in the company of someone whose main topic of conversation was the number of dresses she planned to purchase for the summer. Her cousins Isobel and Charlotte Chandler were also visiting; the family resemblance at once apparent, as was also, unfortunately, a severe lack of personality.
Several hours of tea sipping and idle conversation passed in a blur, and I found myself paying more attention to the pattern on the carpet than to what anyone was actually saying. Suddenly though I became aware of everyone watching me expectantly, and I realised that I must have missed whatever question had just been directed to me.
"I am sorry, I was miles away," I admitted with a small laugh, hoping as I did so that they would not take offence at my inattention. While I did not greatly enjoy their company, I did not wish to needlessly cause them to think unfavourably of me. I need not have worried though, as Grace was only too happy to ask her question again.
"I was just asking what have you been doing lately Ginny?" she repeated, smiling. I thought for a moment, and as my trip to the theatre with Charles was the only event of note that I could call to mind that they might be even slightly interested in, I proceeded to tell them about the performance. They listened well enough, but I received the distinct impression that they were not as interested in the merits of Garrick's latest piece as I was myself, and accordingly I cut short my explanation of the dance performed by the shepherdesses in the third act, contenting myself with simply commenting on the magnificence of the production as a whole.
"And so," I concluded eventually, "after a slight incident on the way out of the theatre that I fear Charles is never going to forgive me for, we returned home." I was still feeling considerable resentment towards Charles for his part in the recent bad feeling between Mother and myself, otherwise I would surely never have mentioned the occasion again, but I was unable to quite shake myself of the irritation he had caused me and therefore could not stop myself from alluding to the situation that had caused it all in the first place.
"Incident?" Charlotte enquired curiously, and suddenly I found myself the focus of their undivided attention in a way that I had not been during the whole of my previous tale.
"Oh it was nothing really," I added hurriedly, wary of placing unwarranted importance upon something that really was of little consequence to me in one way or another.
"Obviously enough to ruffle Charles' feathers though," Grace commented with slight smirk. "He was visiting here yesterday, I did wonder what had been the cause behind the frightful mood he was in. Had a face like a thundercloud for the entire afternoon, it really was quite tiresome." I shook my head, marvelling once more at how such trifling events as those of the other evening could cause a man to be in bad humour for days. They really were the most awkward of creatures, was it any wonder that I was so wary of committing myself to one for the rest of my days?
"I do wish Charles would not exaggerate matters so!" I sighed, rolling my eyes. "Honestly, as I keep insisting to Mother, it was of no consequence whatsoever. Some youths pushed me on leaving the theatre, that was all. It was exceptionally crowded that night, and one can hardly expect to attend such a performance without occurrences of that nature. No harm came from it, and besides, Mr Kennedy." I got no further in my explanation however, as at the mention of that name I was suddenly interrupted.
"Mr Kennedy?" Isobel questioned with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes, one of the gentlemen involved. we spoke briefly after the incident, a very charming young man." I offered, wishing as I did so that my cheeks would not redden so at the mention of his name. It was of no interest to me in the slightest after all, it was simply the importance placed upon the whole episode by others that caused me to react so. It really was beginning to be rather bothersome, and I was starting to feel cross as I always did when I became flustered.
"Oh Ginny, no wonder Charles was so upset." Grace exclaimed with a laugh. "I expect your Mother would not be best pleased either if she were to learn of it."
"She already knows. And no, she is not pleased, although I cannot for the life of me imagine why!" I burst out, sick and tired of being the only one who seemed to be in the dark concerning the great offence I had apparently committed. I was soon to find out though, as Grace, leaning forward conspiratorially, told me all that I needed to know.
"The Kennedys are not. well, let us just say that they're not the kind of family that someone in your position should be too eager to associate herself with." She informed me knowingly.
"But why?" I replied, surprised, and wishing for the first time in my life that I had paid more attention to the meaningless gossip that I so frequently chose to ignore. "He was most polite, I do not see."
"It was all a bit of a scandal really," Grace interrupted once more, clearly relishing the fact that we were hanging on her every word and reluctant to lose her position of power. "Before we were born obviously, but these things have a habit of sticking, especially when certain people make no effort to hide the fact." I was beginning to become rather irritated at her by that point, something that Grace clearly noticed as she continued hurriedly, "Lord Kennedy - the current Lord's father I mean - was a splendid figure in his time. Indeed it was considered one of the greatest honours to be received at one of Lady Kennedy's gatherings, very select you understand, wouldn't admit just anyone. For as long as anyone could remember, his eldest son, Theodore, and Harriet Gosford, the Earl of Gosford's niece, were betrothed to be married. It had been arranged since they were both in their cradles I believe, a most fitting match for all concerned. The Gosfords had a fortune almost as great as that of the Kennedy's, they still do in fact, I'm sure you have seen young Samuel posing about at someplace or other. anyway, as I said, it was all planned out to the satisfaction of both parties, a date was even set for the ceremony from what I have heard, and invitations were sent out to some of the best known names in the land. It was to a the event of the decade if you believed what people were saying about it, no expense spared.."
"Yes, but what happened?" I demanded impatiently, caught by the story despite myself. Grace laughed at me then, pausing to take another sip of tea before continuing, refusing to be rushed.
"Even you are not above a little gossiping I see Ginny," she commented, and I flushed, realising that my disdain at her previous gatherings for those she surrounded herself with and their idle chatter had not passed as unnoticed as I had thought. She continued though, evidently enjoying the role of storyteller that she had taken on for herself.
"About a week before the wedding it seems, Theodore, or Teddy as everyone called him, suddenly turned around and said he wasn't going to marry Harriet after all, that he was in love with someone else and that it would not be fair to anyone concerned if the marriage took place! You can imagine the uproar that caused - Lady Kennedy fainted and didn't come round for at least five minutes, everyone was dreadfully worried about her, and as for his Lordship." she broke off, shuddering delicately. "Not a scene I should have cared to witness. And to make matters even worse, the girl he was proposing he now marry was the daughter of an artist of all things!" she added finally, a look of complete horror crossing her face that anyone could dare to stoop to such a travesty.
"And Archie is their son?" I queried finally, wanting to make sure that I fully understood the situation. When she nodded I fell silent for a moment, unsure of what, if anything this meant for me.
"I do not see that it matters," I ventured finally. "I mean, surely it is better to marry someone you love, rather than simply doing so because your parents believe they have found you a suitable match that will make them happy? The looks of incomprehension on the face's of the two sisters coupled with the condescending smile on Grace's informed me only too well that clearly this was not the case.
"Oh Ginny, always the romantic," she twittered, laughing. "My dear, you know as well as I do that none of us will be marrying for love - if it comes later then that is all well and proper, but to even suggest that we should be allowed to marry any common lad who takes our fancy. it is sheer madness! Money Ginny, and more importantly, making a good match, that is all that is important." I stared at her and the other two as they nodded in agreement, horrified that anyone could actually believe what they were saying as strongly as they seemed to.
"Well I can see nothing wrong with it," I stated firmly, refusing to allow myself to care that they were all looking at me with a mixture of pity and disdain. "And when I marry, if indeed I ever do, it will be because I love the man in question, not because I have been told to!" Charlotte opened her mouth to protest at that point, but Grace, perhaps foreseeing a scene and wishing to prevent it, quickly intervened.
"I admire your courage Ginny, really I do." she informed me, the conciliatory smile she offered me only causing to irritate me even more, "But I think you will find in reality events will be quite different. Unless of course." she lowered her voice slightly, "Are you in love with Charles? Is that what you are trying to tell us?" I could only stare at her for a moment, unable to force any response out of my mouth at all in the wake of the surprise her unexpected words had caused and the ridiculousness of the whole situation.
"No! I managed to exclaim finally, my tone containing as much indignation as I could muster. "Whatever makes you even ask such a thing? It was then Grace's turn to look surprised.
"Well. I thought it was more or less accepted Ginny that you would be the next Lady Wilson," she informed me, laughing slightly. "I mean, your parents clearly approve of him, and it would be a very advantageous match for all concerned. I cannot see him turning down such an opportunity now, can you?" I was shaking so much I could hardly hold my fan straight, but somehow I managed to stand, ignoring the startled exclamations of the other girls as I hastily grabbed my bonnet from the chair on which I had abandoned it earlier.
"Thank you for you hospitality Grace, but I feel I really must be leaving now," I informed her, somehow managing to keep my voice steady as I gathered my scattered belongings together. "As for Charles, I am afraid Hell will have frozen over before I should consent to be his wife, so the position for Lady Wilson is still open. Indeed, perhaps you yourself would like to fill it? With your obvious passion for meddling in other people's affairs, I do feel you would be so well suited." And then, with as much dignity as I could muster under the circumstances, I left the room, ignoring everyone and refusing to stop until I was safely outside again.
It was not time for the carriage to arrive to take me home, but I could not bear the thought of remaining a moment longer. After a brief consideration I decided to walk - it was not that great a distance I felt that the fresh air might do some good and help me to clear my mind. As I walked I recalled my conversation with Mother a few days earlier, and my suspicions as to her plans and motives. It seems that everyone knows I am to marry Charles other than the one person whom it most concerns - myself. But I will not do it, I will not marry someone who I do not love, or in fact if I am honest, even like all that much. I will not, and they cannot make me, something in which I can at least take a small amount of comfort. I almost told Mother so when I arrived home, but the walk had done a little to calm me and I could see no earthly good in causing another disruption when there would be little to gain from it in any way.
Yes, I will hold my tongue for now, but if they try so much as hinting at anything of this nature again, I will not be slow in telling the world what I think of such ideas. Grace's story may have been aimed at dissuading me, but it has had the opposite effect in that it has shown me that it is possible to marry for love - and if it is good enough for Lord Kennedy, then surely it can be good enough for lowly Ginny Dewhurst.
Anyway, today I spent the afternoon at Grace's, a call which I grudgingly agreed to make despite my reservations over spending a day in the company of someone whose main topic of conversation was the number of dresses she planned to purchase for the summer. Her cousins Isobel and Charlotte Chandler were also visiting; the family resemblance at once apparent, as was also, unfortunately, a severe lack of personality.
Several hours of tea sipping and idle conversation passed in a blur, and I found myself paying more attention to the pattern on the carpet than to what anyone was actually saying. Suddenly though I became aware of everyone watching me expectantly, and I realised that I must have missed whatever question had just been directed to me.
"I am sorry, I was miles away," I admitted with a small laugh, hoping as I did so that they would not take offence at my inattention. While I did not greatly enjoy their company, I did not wish to needlessly cause them to think unfavourably of me. I need not have worried though, as Grace was only too happy to ask her question again.
"I was just asking what have you been doing lately Ginny?" she repeated, smiling. I thought for a moment, and as my trip to the theatre with Charles was the only event of note that I could call to mind that they might be even slightly interested in, I proceeded to tell them about the performance. They listened well enough, but I received the distinct impression that they were not as interested in the merits of Garrick's latest piece as I was myself, and accordingly I cut short my explanation of the dance performed by the shepherdesses in the third act, contenting myself with simply commenting on the magnificence of the production as a whole.
"And so," I concluded eventually, "after a slight incident on the way out of the theatre that I fear Charles is never going to forgive me for, we returned home." I was still feeling considerable resentment towards Charles for his part in the recent bad feeling between Mother and myself, otherwise I would surely never have mentioned the occasion again, but I was unable to quite shake myself of the irritation he had caused me and therefore could not stop myself from alluding to the situation that had caused it all in the first place.
"Incident?" Charlotte enquired curiously, and suddenly I found myself the focus of their undivided attention in a way that I had not been during the whole of my previous tale.
"Oh it was nothing really," I added hurriedly, wary of placing unwarranted importance upon something that really was of little consequence to me in one way or another.
"Obviously enough to ruffle Charles' feathers though," Grace commented with slight smirk. "He was visiting here yesterday, I did wonder what had been the cause behind the frightful mood he was in. Had a face like a thundercloud for the entire afternoon, it really was quite tiresome." I shook my head, marvelling once more at how such trifling events as those of the other evening could cause a man to be in bad humour for days. They really were the most awkward of creatures, was it any wonder that I was so wary of committing myself to one for the rest of my days?
"I do wish Charles would not exaggerate matters so!" I sighed, rolling my eyes. "Honestly, as I keep insisting to Mother, it was of no consequence whatsoever. Some youths pushed me on leaving the theatre, that was all. It was exceptionally crowded that night, and one can hardly expect to attend such a performance without occurrences of that nature. No harm came from it, and besides, Mr Kennedy." I got no further in my explanation however, as at the mention of that name I was suddenly interrupted.
"Mr Kennedy?" Isobel questioned with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes, one of the gentlemen involved. we spoke briefly after the incident, a very charming young man." I offered, wishing as I did so that my cheeks would not redden so at the mention of his name. It was of no interest to me in the slightest after all, it was simply the importance placed upon the whole episode by others that caused me to react so. It really was beginning to be rather bothersome, and I was starting to feel cross as I always did when I became flustered.
"Oh Ginny, no wonder Charles was so upset." Grace exclaimed with a laugh. "I expect your Mother would not be best pleased either if she were to learn of it."
"She already knows. And no, she is not pleased, although I cannot for the life of me imagine why!" I burst out, sick and tired of being the only one who seemed to be in the dark concerning the great offence I had apparently committed. I was soon to find out though, as Grace, leaning forward conspiratorially, told me all that I needed to know.
"The Kennedys are not. well, let us just say that they're not the kind of family that someone in your position should be too eager to associate herself with." She informed me knowingly.
"But why?" I replied, surprised, and wishing for the first time in my life that I had paid more attention to the meaningless gossip that I so frequently chose to ignore. "He was most polite, I do not see."
"It was all a bit of a scandal really," Grace interrupted once more, clearly relishing the fact that we were hanging on her every word and reluctant to lose her position of power. "Before we were born obviously, but these things have a habit of sticking, especially when certain people make no effort to hide the fact." I was beginning to become rather irritated at her by that point, something that Grace clearly noticed as she continued hurriedly, "Lord Kennedy - the current Lord's father I mean - was a splendid figure in his time. Indeed it was considered one of the greatest honours to be received at one of Lady Kennedy's gatherings, very select you understand, wouldn't admit just anyone. For as long as anyone could remember, his eldest son, Theodore, and Harriet Gosford, the Earl of Gosford's niece, were betrothed to be married. It had been arranged since they were both in their cradles I believe, a most fitting match for all concerned. The Gosfords had a fortune almost as great as that of the Kennedy's, they still do in fact, I'm sure you have seen young Samuel posing about at someplace or other. anyway, as I said, it was all planned out to the satisfaction of both parties, a date was even set for the ceremony from what I have heard, and invitations were sent out to some of the best known names in the land. It was to a the event of the decade if you believed what people were saying about it, no expense spared.."
"Yes, but what happened?" I demanded impatiently, caught by the story despite myself. Grace laughed at me then, pausing to take another sip of tea before continuing, refusing to be rushed.
"Even you are not above a little gossiping I see Ginny," she commented, and I flushed, realising that my disdain at her previous gatherings for those she surrounded herself with and their idle chatter had not passed as unnoticed as I had thought. She continued though, evidently enjoying the role of storyteller that she had taken on for herself.
"About a week before the wedding it seems, Theodore, or Teddy as everyone called him, suddenly turned around and said he wasn't going to marry Harriet after all, that he was in love with someone else and that it would not be fair to anyone concerned if the marriage took place! You can imagine the uproar that caused - Lady Kennedy fainted and didn't come round for at least five minutes, everyone was dreadfully worried about her, and as for his Lordship." she broke off, shuddering delicately. "Not a scene I should have cared to witness. And to make matters even worse, the girl he was proposing he now marry was the daughter of an artist of all things!" she added finally, a look of complete horror crossing her face that anyone could dare to stoop to such a travesty.
"And Archie is their son?" I queried finally, wanting to make sure that I fully understood the situation. When she nodded I fell silent for a moment, unsure of what, if anything this meant for me.
"I do not see that it matters," I ventured finally. "I mean, surely it is better to marry someone you love, rather than simply doing so because your parents believe they have found you a suitable match that will make them happy? The looks of incomprehension on the face's of the two sisters coupled with the condescending smile on Grace's informed me only too well that clearly this was not the case.
"Oh Ginny, always the romantic," she twittered, laughing. "My dear, you know as well as I do that none of us will be marrying for love - if it comes later then that is all well and proper, but to even suggest that we should be allowed to marry any common lad who takes our fancy. it is sheer madness! Money Ginny, and more importantly, making a good match, that is all that is important." I stared at her and the other two as they nodded in agreement, horrified that anyone could actually believe what they were saying as strongly as they seemed to.
"Well I can see nothing wrong with it," I stated firmly, refusing to allow myself to care that they were all looking at me with a mixture of pity and disdain. "And when I marry, if indeed I ever do, it will be because I love the man in question, not because I have been told to!" Charlotte opened her mouth to protest at that point, but Grace, perhaps foreseeing a scene and wishing to prevent it, quickly intervened.
"I admire your courage Ginny, really I do." she informed me, the conciliatory smile she offered me only causing to irritate me even more, "But I think you will find in reality events will be quite different. Unless of course." she lowered her voice slightly, "Are you in love with Charles? Is that what you are trying to tell us?" I could only stare at her for a moment, unable to force any response out of my mouth at all in the wake of the surprise her unexpected words had caused and the ridiculousness of the whole situation.
"No! I managed to exclaim finally, my tone containing as much indignation as I could muster. "Whatever makes you even ask such a thing? It was then Grace's turn to look surprised.
"Well. I thought it was more or less accepted Ginny that you would be the next Lady Wilson," she informed me, laughing slightly. "I mean, your parents clearly approve of him, and it would be a very advantageous match for all concerned. I cannot see him turning down such an opportunity now, can you?" I was shaking so much I could hardly hold my fan straight, but somehow I managed to stand, ignoring the startled exclamations of the other girls as I hastily grabbed my bonnet from the chair on which I had abandoned it earlier.
"Thank you for you hospitality Grace, but I feel I really must be leaving now," I informed her, somehow managing to keep my voice steady as I gathered my scattered belongings together. "As for Charles, I am afraid Hell will have frozen over before I should consent to be his wife, so the position for Lady Wilson is still open. Indeed, perhaps you yourself would like to fill it? With your obvious passion for meddling in other people's affairs, I do feel you would be so well suited." And then, with as much dignity as I could muster under the circumstances, I left the room, ignoring everyone and refusing to stop until I was safely outside again.
It was not time for the carriage to arrive to take me home, but I could not bear the thought of remaining a moment longer. After a brief consideration I decided to walk - it was not that great a distance I felt that the fresh air might do some good and help me to clear my mind. As I walked I recalled my conversation with Mother a few days earlier, and my suspicions as to her plans and motives. It seems that everyone knows I am to marry Charles other than the one person whom it most concerns - myself. But I will not do it, I will not marry someone who I do not love, or in fact if I am honest, even like all that much. I will not, and they cannot make me, something in which I can at least take a small amount of comfort. I almost told Mother so when I arrived home, but the walk had done a little to calm me and I could see no earthly good in causing another disruption when there would be little to gain from it in any way.
Yes, I will hold my tongue for now, but if they try so much as hinting at anything of this nature again, I will not be slow in telling the world what I think of such ideas. Grace's story may have been aimed at dissuading me, but it has had the opposite effect in that it has shown me that it is possible to marry for love - and if it is good enough for Lord Kennedy, then surely it can be good enough for lowly Ginny Dewhurst.