Dear Diary,

I've spent my whole life in the country, I've been to the city

before but I love the land better, it's peaceful here. I used to be part

of a small family,it was just Mum, Alex, Nick, Tess, Meg, Terry and

Jodi, all adults and it drove me crazy. Now the family has grown

I have a 10 year old brother Josh, Nick and Tess got married and

they had three kids,Eden 14, Claudia 9 and Daniel 11. Becky came

back to drover's after her year at the college was up, she realised

she just couldn't be with Jake. Harry left Sandra and now were al

l on good terms with him it's just one big happy family.

Alex was the best dad any girl could have, but every father's day I

couldn't help wanting to meet the real thing. It had been 15 years

since I had seen him last, I was only a baby and I don't remember

anything. My mother had told me what he had done in the past, she

had always been open and told me the truth. I just want to see for

myself what he's really like, I want to have my own impression.

Alex was sitting outside in the hammock with a beer, I went up and

sat down on a chair next to him.

"I want to meet him" I said

"Meet who" Alex questioned

"Peter" I replied

"Oh!"

He sounded suprised and there was definately a hint of hurt in his voice.

"I don't want to go live with him or anything, I love it here

and I love all you guys. And your the best dad in the world.

I just want to meet him."

"Alright " He said

"Really " I asked

"Yeah sure how about we arange for a little trip to Queensland

I'll say I'm doing some work for Harry and that you want to

get out a bit" Alex suggested.

"Not tell mum?" I asked

"You and I both know she doesn't like him, I don't think she

could handle seeing him again and I don't think she'd

approve of you going even if was there aswell"

"Yeah I guess" I said

Alex was right she would never let me go, good thing I came to

him first. So a week later it was set me and Alex were set for

Queensland, I don't know how he conned mum into letting me

go but whatever it was, it worked.

It was a long and very boring drive to Queensland from Drover's

but finally we arrived. It was 6:00pm when we got there and

we were both exausted.

"It's a bit late to go see him now so how about we wait till

morning?" Alex asked.

"Yeah sure, I'm really tired anyway" I replied.

We got our bags out of the car and checked in at out hotel,

Alex had booked two of the best rooms, they had queen size

beds, spa's and free bathrobes, soap and shampoo, it was going

to be the best time ever I could tell. The next morning I woke up

early and went to have a shower, then I picked out some nice

clothes to wear. I chose a pair of black pants, a white blouse, a

black jacket, my boots and of course my black akubra. It looked

classy but casual, perfect for metting someone for the first time.

I grabed a little bag through in my mobile, make-up, a purse and

then knocked on Alex's door, he was dressed and ready to leave..

"You look good" Alex complimented

"Thanks" I replied

"Ready to go?" He asked

"Yep" I said not so convincingly

"Don't worry it'll be fine, he'll love you" He assured.

I gave him a small smile and headed to the lobby, We got into

the ute and drove off.

"What's he like?" I asked Alex

"Trust me you don't want to know what I think of him." He said

"How long till we get there?" I asked

"Were here" He replied

We pulled into a driveway that led up to a large property, not

as huge as Drover's but fairly big. I started to get out of the

car but Alex stopped me.

"Let me get him first ok?" He said

"Yeah alright" I replied

He went up and knocked on the door, a man appeared who I

figured was Peter by the way Alex was talking as if he knew him.

"Alex, what are you doing here?" He asked with hatred.

"You daughter wanted to meet you" He replied with the same

amount of hatred in his voice.

"You brought her here?" He asked in shock

"She wanted to meet her father" Alex exclaimed

"I can't believe you would do that your risking all

I have done to make things better with my wife, we are finally

happy" He said

"So you don't want to meet her, see the wonderful young woman

she has grown up to be, you don't want to know how strong and

intellegent she is?" Alex asked outraged.

I could hear what they were saying, every word, it was obvious

that he didn't want to see me. I opened the door and shut it

quietly so that the bickering men couldn't hear, I walked closer

and saw that Alex had his fist up about to punch Peter.

"Alex" I yelled. Alex droped his fist and turned round to face me.

"What's wrong sweety?" He asked

"I want to go" I said

"I thought you wanted to meet me" Peter said

"I did, but your not worth fighting for, why would I want to meet

my father when he doesn't want to meet me" I replied and walked

back to the ute and got in. Alex gave Peter a loatheing look, got

into the ute and drove off, leaving Peter standing there in shock

and me sitting in the car with tears running silently down my

cheeks. Alex and I didn't say anything the whole way back to

the hotel, we both went to out seperate rooms I just got into

the bed and cried. I felt rejected, defenceless and alone, Alex

knocked on the door then entered the room, he sat down on

the bed next to me.

"You alright?" Asked Alex

"Yeah I'll get over it" I replied

"I hate seeing you crying, makes me wanna cry"He said

"It's the only way to get everything of my chest."I explained

"Charlotte, I may not be your biological father but I am your

dad and I love you more than anything in the whole entire

world you know that right?" He asked. I sat up, put my arms

around his neck and gave him a hug.

"I love you too, your the best dad ever." I told me

"How about we do a bit of shopping tommorrow, you can

get heaps of cool stuff in the city and with all the work you've

been doing you must be rollin' in the money"Laughed Alex

"That'd be great"I said

"Well you get some rest"He said

"Don't worry i will I'm so tired from today"I told him

"Cheer up kiddo" He said as he walked out of the room closing

the door behind him.

The next day we went into every good store we could find,

from clothes to accessories to surf gear.

"One more shop then back to the hotel" said an exuasted Alex.

"Ok just that book store across the street then I'm done" I said

I wander aimlessly around the shop, stopping now and then to

pick up random novels, the shelves seemed endless, stocked

with books of all sorts. Alex was looking at some journals he

grabbed one, purchased it and slipped it into one of the many

bags he was holding before Charlotte could see.

"You ready to go?" Alex asked

"Yep all done" I said

We went back to the hotel and collapsed onto the couch.

"Get all your stuff packed and we'll get going" Alex instructed

It took a while but eventually we got all the things packed and

we were back on the road again heading for Drover's.

We had been gone three days and everyone was so glad we

were back, I bet only cause now they have someone to babysit

for them now. Even though I had a ball in the Queensland it was

great to be back home with the whole family. Tess and Meg

cooked a big dinner and we all sat outside around a table talking.

Everyone asked how Queensland was and if Alex got the work

done he needed to do for Harry, we said said a quick 'Yeah

everything went fine' and then changed the subject.Alex slipped

away unnoticed by everyone and went up to Charlotte's room. He

found a pen and wrote a quick not in the cover of the journal he

bought in Queesland, he then placed it on her pillow and went

back downstairs. It was getting late so I said goodnight, gave

everyone a hug and went upstairs, I tried to forget what Peter

said but the words wouldn't leave my mind, I tried to ease the

pain but It only brought more. I went into my room and saw

that on my pillow was a book. It was a black, leather bound

journal, I opened it up and there was something written on the

inside cover, it said:

To Charlotte,

Everyone should have something that is their private

release from the world, get everything off you chest and let your

feelings loose, it's what you think and no-one can tell you it's wrong.

I understand that as a teenager, you often don't have the kind of control

you want in life, I'm sorry about Peter but remember you have heaps of

poeple that love and care for you, stay strong kiddo.

Love you Dad

Alex

xoxoxo

The feelings of rejection and lonliness melted away.

From then on I kept a diary, it was an outlet for my feelings.

It was a new place. A new world. My world. It became a part of me

as I poured my heart and soul onto the flawless white paper like a

running river of dark blue ink. I wondered how to begin my story. I

grabed a pen and put it to the paper and started to write my journey

Dear Diary,

I've spent my whole life in the country........