Disclaimer:I don't own Erik,Christine and other Leroux characters,but I created some new characters.
Author's note:this chapter is only about Erik and Christine's love…
Chapter IV
"I'll hold you and I'll hide you..."
Christine felt she could hardly stood on her feet when she felt his lips on hers.All her experience was one and only clumsy Raoul's kiss that evening on the Opera roof.But when Raoul kissed her she felt nothing.She was only surprised because she did not expect it.Raoul was her childhood friend,his kiss was neither pleasant nor unpleasant for her.And her thoughts were preoccupied by Erik that moment...And now Erik kissed her.She felt something she could not describe...She was scared by this new feeling but she also felt she was out of danger,in her protector's arms.And his kiss was not like Raoul's.Raoul's kiss was clumsy and...weak,as Raoul himself.And Erik's kiss was gentle but sure and strong.His embrace was powerful and protective. All her troubles and difficulties faded away.There stayed only love and fear that united and became one whole feeling and that strange mixture brought Christine somewhere...to another world...She felt something like this every time when Erik sang or played the piano or violin or when they sang together, but now it was also something different.Now she knew she loved him.And he said he loved her...She could not believe it,but he kissed her...She was afraid of him and she loved him...Love and fear,fear and love together in a beautiful combination.She was in the arms of her master,her owner,her God...She felt as if all the world disappeared and they two were alone in the universe.
At last Erik broke the kiss and looked at her face.Her eyes were closed but her face expression...He could see that combination of love and fear there.Poor girl.You have to discover so strong feelings in yourself and also meet my feelings...Christine opened her eyes.Their eyes met.The girl blushed and lifted her head down but then quickly lifted it up.He understood.She was afraid that he would think she still could not look at his face.He caressed her cheek with his fingers.
-Don't worry,my angel.I know you can look at this terrible face.
-It is not terrible...-she whispered.-It is...the most beautiful...I...
-They says love is blind.-he noted.-And it is true...especially for women...Woman's love is blind...or maybe not blind on the contrary...But I am not blind at all.And I love you, my little songbird...No,don't say it is impossible.
-But I really can't believe it!...-she murmured.-Because I'm only silly...
He pressed his fingertips against her lips to make her silent.
-I forbid you to say such things.-he said quietly.-I forbid you not to believe me.Do you understand?And you certainly know,my dear,-he continuoed with mock threat.-that I dislike disobedience.
She looked at him fearfully.
-I...
But he did not let her finish the phrase and covered her mouth with his. Christine felt her knees became weak.She felt she was not something whole,she was only part of him and she could not exist without him,without his protective arms,without his magic voice...He was her world and her life.
Erik could read all her emotions on her face or fell them holding her.Wandering child,so lost,so helpless...Don't worry now. You are with me. Everything will be all right.He finished the kiss and pressed her head against his chest stroking her golden curls.He was preoccupied by one thought.He have never thought about it earlier because he was sure Christine could not love him.But now...he wanted her to be his completely.He felt passion rose in him.He wanted to undress her and make her his own,to see her young innocent body,to hold her naked...He had never wanted any woman so much.He have never had such strong and gentle feeling.To do it now or wait untill their wedding?He needs to wait...but...no...He wants it too much.He can stop himself but he does not want to stop.One time.The next time will be only after the wedding...
Erik kissed her once more and looked at her.
-My dear,-he said slowly.-everything is clear between us now,isn't it?
Her eyes asked him a question.
-I mean we love each other,my girl and none of us reject this fact now.
_Ilove you...-she whispered.-I love you more than...
He pressed his fingertips against her lips.
-I know that,my child.And I love you too.Very much.So we both made our decisions.You will be my wife,will not you?
-Are you...are you really serious?...
-Yes,I am.
Tears ran over her cheeks.He framed her face with his hands and kissed her every tear.Her tears were more beautiful than any jewels in the world.
-I've already told you,my dear girl,that your soul is that gift which any monarch would like to have.Your tears are more expensive than any diamonds...And this gift is mine.Your sweat tears...But you must answer.You will be my wife,will not you?
-Yes,I will...if you really want it...
-Yes,I really want it.And?...
-All I want is to be always besides you...-she whispered.
-So you need to be my wife.-he noted.
-But...
-I do not want to hear this "but" anymore.I've already told you-I forbid you to hesitate asking yourself if I love you or not.I love you,little doubting Thomas.I want you to be my wife.And I'm still waiting for your answer.You try my patience...And you know,my little nightingale,-he added ironically.-that it is dangerous.So tell me if you will be my wife?
She looked at him.
-I will.-she murmured.
He kissed her forehead,then her lips.
-So the decision is made.-he whispered.-And now...Christine,we love each other.You decided to be with me,to follow me wherever I go.To be my wife.That's what you want.That's what I want.Now you belong to me.Your body and soul.You are mine.And I may do what I want.
-Yes,I belong to you...-she whispered.-And you may do with me all that you want.
She said it but he knew she did not understand.She was ready to accept everythind he wanted to do with her, but it was clear that she had no idea what exactly he was going to do with her.She looked at him with her innocent childish look.She knew nothing about physical wishes of mature 32 year old man.He sighed.Poor child,it will be difficult for her.
-So we've crossed the Rubicon.-he said lifting her up.He carried her upstairs.She will be his tonight.
He entered the room where she has never been before.She could not see what the room was look like because it was absolutely dark there.Erik closed the door and went forward.After several steps he stoped and stood her on the floor.Then he did something.She saw he lit up a gaslight on the little table near the big canopied bed,making the flame not very high,so the room was half-lighted.Christine looked around.There were also another table in the room where some papers were lying,the chair and several bookshelves.
-What the room is it?-she asked shyly.-I've never seen it before.
-It is my bedroom.-he answered quietly.
She hesitated.
-Your...bedroom?
-Yes.Are you afraid?
-No,I simply...You want to show me this room?
How naive she is!
-No,I'm not going to show your this room now,my dear.
-Maestro...
-Again?-he interrupted.-When you were looking for me near the lake,my girl,you pronounced another word.And now again?We are not at the music lesson now,my little Lotte.
She looked fearful.
-Call me by name now.-he continuoed.-Call me Erik,my love.
She looked as if it was very difficult for her to pronounce the word.He came up to her.
-Call me Erik,little angel.-he repeated.-It is not so difficult as you think.I know I've been your master of music all this time and now you do not understand how you can call me by name,but do it,Christine.Do it now.
She hesitated.He embraced her.His grey eyes met hers.
-It is rather strange,my love,to call your husband "maestro",isn't it?
He kissed her lightly.
-I love you...Erik...-her voice was trembling.
-You see,my angel,it is rather simple.And now...
He kissed her again and she felt that kiss was not like all his kisses before.There was something different in it,something that scared her.He hold her tighter and his hands stroke her waist in a strange manner.No man touched her like this before and she was afraid of that touch.Then his hands moved up and began to stroke her back.His kiss became deeper,he pressed her against him and she felt his breath became heavy.At last he broke the kiss and released her.Her eyes asked...His hands moved to her neck and he began to unbutton her dress.She was shoked,her eyes full of fear and disbelief.She could not understand what was happening.He stoped for a moment and looked into her fearful eyes.
-Don't be afraid,my love.-he said gently.-Believe me and don't be afraid.
He finished with the buttons and put her sleeves off.Now her arms and shoulders were naked.His hands slid down then up her arms,caressed her exposed shoulsers.
-Your skin is so soft and gentle...-he murmured.-Lovely Christine...
The look of his eyes became strange.She could not understand what exactly was there...As if the mist covered those eyes...And also there was strange flame which scared her.He was speaking and doing so strange things.She was ashamed and scared.
It was a new emotion in her eyes-shame.Erik understood it very well.He knew Christine has grown up in good Protestant family.She knew nothing about sex.Absolutely nothing.Her parents have never discussed such things.All she knew was that there were some "forbidden terms",something honest girl could not do if she was not married.And also honest girl could not stay alone with a man because of those "forbidden terms".But she had no idea what kind of terms was it,what exactly man could do with a girl.She has never seen anybody naked,even woman.To say nothing about a man.And when he unbuttoned her dress and put her sleeves off it was something terrible and shameful for her.She did not know what he was going to do but she felt terribly ashamed.
-Don't be afraid,mon ange.-he repeated with his deep magic voice.-I know how scared you are but there is nothing terrible in all this.Remember that I love you and don't be afraid.Believe me,my beautiful child...
His voice surrounded her,caressing her ears.She looked at him as if saying "I believe you."
His arms circled her waist and pulled her dress and petticoats down.They fell on the floor to girl's little feet.Now she was standing in front of him wearing only satin pants and chemise.Erik could see she was trembling of fear and shame.He felt very sorry for this poor child but this feeling also made his passion stronger.He took her hands and helped her to step out of folds of material.She obeyed following the direction where he brought her.He put his arms around her and looked into couple of blue lakes on her face.
-I love you,my little northern fairy.-he whispered.-I love you...
He kissed her deeply,caressing her lips with his.Then he caressed her lips with his fingertips.
-This little mouth is so gentle as a rosebud...-his voice was low and gentle but there were some new notes in it.-It is so pleasant to touch it,to kiss it...
He framed her face with his hands and kissed her eyes.
-Your eyes remind me of Scandinavian lakes.-he whispered.-The lakes of purity and innocence...and beauty...Angel's eyes.You are an angel lost on our sinny Earth...But I'll protect you.I'll hold you and I'll hide you...from this terrible world...My little angel...
He released her again and made her to take a step backward to look at her whole-from her golden-haired head to her little white feet.
-You are so beautiful.-he said slowly.-Perfect beauty...If I really was an Angel or ghost I would only look at you-at your puriest beauty and it would be the greatest pleasure for me...But I am only human-a man made of flesh and blood...I am a genius,I am a villain,but I am also only human...
Christine looked at him with her eyes wide open.Oh,she has never heard such words from anybody.Such beautiful words...And those words were not from some play this time.He told those words to her.Oh,could it be the truth or maybe she was sleeping?..But what he was going to do-his voice sounded so strange and the look of his eyes...Why did he put her dress off?..What was it?..But he have right to do what he wants.He is her master,she is his slave so she must obey in any situation.
Erik took a step forward and moved his hands to her hair.He put out the pins that held several of her golden locks on the back of her head making her face open.Released locks cascaded down her breasts.Then his hands moved to the ribbons of her chemise.The girl'a heart almost stoped that moment.The chemise fell on the floor exposing her little breasts.She instinctively crossed her arms to cover her breasts.Her look was so pitiful that Erik had mercy on her and covered her breasts with her long golden curls.She looked at him with shy wordless thank which touched him deeply.He hold her in his arms feeling bared skin of her back and little naked breasts pressed against him
-Christine,little Christine,my love...-he murmured kissing the top of her head then her face.
There was such pitiful obedience in her eyes,as if she was speaking "You may do with me everything you want.Please don't harm me if it is possible.But if it is impossible so I'me ready to accept everything." He knew,he could see that if he would going to kill her and take knife she would let him do it with the same obedience in her eyes.
-I will never harm you.-he said puting his fingers on her chin and lifting her face up to his.-I've already said it and now I repeat it again-I'll never do you any harm,little fairy of north.
He passionately kissed her lips, then urged her down onto the bed concurrently putting the cover and the blanket out of it.He laid the girl on the bed and sat down near her.Her eyes were looking at him being still full of fear,shame and obedience.He caressed her cheek with his fingers,then moved down and kissed her forehead and cheeks.He controled himself for he did not want to scare her too much by his passion but that passion was really so strong...He stood up to undress himself.He put off his waistcoat,shirt,waist-belt,then boots and trousers.His naked body was very beautiful-slim,but athletic with tight muscles.Standing there absolutely naked with his dark curls he looks like Greek God.But Christine was too scared to think about it.Man's naked flash was terrible sight for her.Lying on the bed she could see him only up his waist but even this was too much.She was lying motionless hardly breathing.He slowly came up to the bed and lay down covering her body with his.The feeling of his naked flesh touching hers and of his weight was shoking,it made her gasp.She could not understand how could it be.He was her maestro,her master of music and drama.He taught her to sing,to use her voice rightfully,to act.He discussed literature and art with her,he explained her difficult aspects of literature and music compositions;he played the piano and violin,he sang with her.They walked at Bois de Boulogne and he declaimed Shakespeare and Goethe...And now they were lying there,both naked and something mysterious and shameful was happening.It was unbelievable,it was terrible...but it was HIS wish and her obligation was to obey.But also,though she was scared to death and ashamed,those words he said...Those magic words...She could not understand some of them but they all were beautiful music for her ears.And knowledge that he let her to stay with him,that he will bring her somewhere and they will be together...He said he wanted her to be his WIFE...All this was so wonderful...
He touched her naked body,his hand caressed her breast gently,then he covered her mouth with his.His passion was growing.She felt it though she could not understand what was happening to him. He felt she was trembling from her head to her feet.He kissed her golden locks,her little chin,her eyes.
-My darling,my little love,how beautiful you are,how gentle...Mon ange...I love you...-he whispered.-Don't worry...Relax,my little songbird...Everything will be very well.Relax,don't be afraid...Remember that I love you...My Christine...My love,my bride,my wife...My liitle girl...
He kissed her and whispered those sweet words of love and at last she relaxed and thought maybe it was not so terrible to lie their with him...He Ws waithing for that moment.When he felt her body relaxed and it was a little less fear in her eyes he did that.He took her.She felt their bodies united.It was sharp pain which went through all her tiny body.She uttered a cry,pitiful weak cry.He drank that cry from her lips as sweetest drink of love,more sweet than any vine.He saw two tears ran over her cheeks and he kissed those tears,tears of innocence,love and obedience...
-Don't cry,my love.The pain is alredy left behind.There will not be a pain anymore.Believe me.The pain is necessary price but it is over now and will never be repeated.I love you,my dear girl.
The pain was really over and was not repeated.But Christine was still terribly frightened by that was happening.He was moving in strange manner over her.His heavy breathing burnt her face,his eyes were covered with that mist...But his magic voice quitened her.She felt even stronger as if they were alone in whole world-he and she.Her shame was made a little smaler by thought that she obeyed his will.She did not understand clearly what was happening but she felt somehow that she was completely his now-her body and soul belonged to him and that fact made her happy.
All this was also new feeling for Erik.He has never felt such way,even when he made love to woman for the first time being seventeen years old.That time and all the years after that he has made love to many women and for didderent reasons.Sometimes it was simply his flesh need,sometimes he did it to get something else such way,using his beautiful body.And every time when he made love to woman he had to lie so much to stay masked even in bed...So much lie for not to let those women to see his disfigured face.And he succeeded in it every time-women believed his artistic lies and he made love to them wearing his mask.They loved his beautiful body but if they would see his face...It happened only once,many years ago.And that woman cryed of fear...Anyway he has never loved any of those women he made love to.It was flesh need or it was some other goal,but it was not love.An now for the first time he was making love to the girl he really loved and he was unmasked.And she was not afraid of his terrible face,she was afraid of his perfect body because of her innocence.For the first time in his life he felt not only flesh satisfaction as when he made love to woman and not only soul satisfaction as when he composed, sang or played the piano but all this together,magic pleausure for body and soul. Her innocence, her obedience, her beauty were wonderful. And he was happy.But even that moment little corner of his mind was clear and watched all that was happening and Erik had control over himself even then.It has been unchanged in him and he knew it would never change.
-Mon ange...My beloved Christine...
Christine felt something strange has happened again.He stoped and trembling went through his body.He kissed her lips,very long kiss.He was lying still for some time then he rolled onto his back holding Christine in his arms.She was still so ashamed and scared that she was afraid of meeting his eyes.She instinctively put her head onto his shoulder such way she could not met his eyes and stayed motionless.Erik was also lying still his arms around her and she felt his breathing also became still.