Chapter VII

Erik's tale

-Yes.-Erik repeated quietly.-This is my real name.

-But... you are not dead!...-Christine said without thinking what she was saying-she was too surprised.

-Oficially I am dead, my dear.-he answered.

-But how... what's really happened... after the fire?

-What's really happened after the fire?-he repeated her question. Something appeared in his grey eyes-something terrible.-It is very simple, mon ange. When my dearest mother saw (the words "dearest mother" sounded as curse) what's happened with my face, she decided she did not need me anymore. So she found way to get rid of me. She paid one... doctor (if it is possible to call him so) and he signed the document which declared I was dead.

-Your mother did so... Oh, no! How could she?! You was her son!

-She did not need a son with such a face.-he explained shortly.

-But... mother always needs her son!...

-Not my mother, Christine. Le Comtess de Leroy did not want her friends to feel sorry for her because of her son disfigurment. She wanted to have only beautiful, perfect things.

-But you was not a thing!

-For her I was a thing. Beautiful toy. Her pet. She embraced me, she kissed me and said I was her beloved little prince... but all this took place before the fire... before my face had been disfigured. She loved me when I was handsome. She was very proud of my talent and my talent was that thing I did not lose at all. But the talent together with disfigured face... she did not want it. She liked the picture but that picture had to have the beautiful frame. And when that frame was deformed... she did not want the picture anymore. What do people usually do with broken toy, with ill dog, with old horse? They get rid of them. With toy it is simple-it is not alive. And if that creature is alive? So it must be killed.

Those terrible words were pronounced so calmly, without any emotion. Erik was very good at hidening his feelings. But Christine was not so calm. Her face became absolutely white.

-To be... killed?-she repeated automatically.-You mean your mother wanted... to kill you?

-Certainly, my dear, at first she wanted to kill me. But madame did not want to do it herself so she offered doctor Verdieu a lot of money for my death. But my godfather was very honest man... He was shocked by that wish of hers and certainly he refused to kill me. So she found the other doctor. He was young, and he liked cards, so he needed money very much. And when my mother offered him a lot of money... Doing him justice, he refused to kill me. He did it because being not very honest person he was not a murderer and could not kill helpless boy of nine years old... or maybe he was scared by possibility that somebody would discover his crime and he would be executed... or those two reasons together. Anyway he refused to kill me. But he signed the document which declared I was dead. Than she organized the false funeral. The coffin was filled by stones and closed-my mother told everybody that the body was disfigured and that it was terrible sight and she could not see it... She was crying bitterly during the funeral and it was brilliant performance of hers. Those false tears... But everyone of those people that attended the funeral, had no doubts that she was almost killed by her grief and by her loss...

-And... your father?-Christine asked with weak voice.

-My father. O, my darling, he was my mother's lapdog since their first meeting. He did not want my death and those false funeral but he could not make himself say her "no". He was so weak. He could not forbide to do all this.

-But you were his only son!-the tears were running over her cheeks.

-Don't cry, my dear, don't cry.-he caressed her cheek with his fingers and kissed her hair.-Maybe it would be better to stop my telling?

-Oh, no, please, tell me everything!-Christine cryed.-Please, Erik...

-So the funeral was perfect.-he continuoed.-And I, who was officially buried, was at Dr. Verdieu's house. I came to senses only two days later. Dr. did his best for not let me know the truth, I mean the truth about my face. He took away all the mirrors and he did not tell me anything. But was it possible to hide this truth? They... I mean my parents came to visit me several days later. And she did not let me kiss her. She pushed me and her face had such expression... And he, my father, he looked so unhappy and lost. I was shocked by mother's gesture and asked what was wrong. She did not answer. "Wasn't I right when I asked you to do that?" she said turning to Dr. Verdieu."And how could you look at it?" And she left the room.My father followed her. Dr. tryed to stop him saying something like "Reginald you can't behave like this!" but he whispered something and ran out of the room with his eyes full of tears. Dr. tryed to explain their behaviour and I believe him... because I coul not imagine that moment my mother did not want me anymore and my father could not change the situation. Dr. said last several days were so terrible for them and they were so afraid of possibility to lose me and they were too nervous and everything would be as usual when they would have a rest. I think Dr. really hoped my mother would understand how terrible her behaviour was and woul embrace me again. Foolish dreams of too honest and sentimental person!-Erik's fingers clutched chair's arm. Christine was listening to him almost without breathing.-And Dr. had to understand it soon. But before it I knew the truth about my disfigurment.-he made a pause.-I was almost healthy already and I did not want to stay in the room all time. So one day when Dr. was out I opened the door carefully and ran downstairs. And there still was big mirror in the hall... I did not understand at first. It was so unbelievable that ugly-faced little creature in the mirror was me. I... was coming closer and closer to the glass.-his voice became strange, bodiless, the words were flying slowly in the silent.-I saw that creature copied my actions. And I had already seen it was me but I did not want to believe... And then I felt the cold glass-I was standing touching the reflection by my both hands and forehead. I was touching the reflection's ugly terrible face by my face and the reflection was me and that ugly moveless mask of burnt skin was my own face... And then I cryed as wounded animal cries. And I hit the damned glass with my fists but it was too hard. I took the chair... And the chair broke the glass to pieces and those pieces covered the floor. And the reflection disappeared but my face was there--it could not disappear. I could touch it. And my beautiful happy world was broken to pieces as that mirror and I was buried under its ruins.-he closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and continuoed and his tone became calm and cold again.-I was in hysterics. I was crying as if I was mad "No!!!" Dr. ran into the hall and held me in his arms but I did not care. I tryed to free myself and transform those damned pieces of glass to dust. I cryed "It is not my face, give me back my face! That freak was not me! I can't have such face!" Dr. could not stop it and he had to give me opium by force. His assistant brought it and he made me drink it though I tryed to push the cup away and struggled as wild animal. But certainly they won the battle and I fell into darkness. When I awoke Dr. was sitting near my bed weeping.