Chapter Three

"Alright, Legolas, we're going to be traveling by something called automobile. It will be strange for you, I would think, but you're going to be fine. I promise." Legolas looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

"Why will it be so strange?"

She grinned, wanting to see the surprise on his face. "You'll see. I'm going to get ready. Can you wait here?"

"Yes, I will wait for you."

"Great. I'll be out in about five." She held up her outstretched hand as she ascended the stairs.

Rhiannon came down the steps fully dressed and done up forty-five minutes later. Legolas noted that her face was painted up.

"Okay, are we all ready to go?" She grabbed her keys, cell phone, and a pen and stuffed them into her purse. " Hmm.. stove is off, doors…" She walked around the house, closing and locking. ".. are locked, windows.. " she took a glance around, beginning her mental checklist for leaving the house. and nodded her head. ".. are cool. Alright then." She took one last sweep over her downstairs, and did a double take at Legolas on her overstuffed couch, Avariel in his lap, watching her every move curiously. She gave him one look and said,

"Aw, shit."

"Is something wrong?" Legolas noticed her tone.

"You can't wear that! What else can we put you in?" She went to look around, knowing already that she wouldn't find anything, when his voice cut through her intentions.

"I see nothing wrong with it."

"Okay with me if it's alright with you! It's your thing." She was getting a little sick of hearing 'what is this called?' all morning. "Let's go."

Sitting in the car, Legolas watched as Rhiannon climbed up into her seat. She drove a black SUV, which Legolas just stared at. After he had finally gotten in, she started the car, and Legolas looked at her in utter confusion. She just smiled.

"Ready Legolas? Good." With that, she pushed the remote for the garage door, and watched Legolas' face of amazement and surprise out of the corner of her eye as she pulled out.

Rhiannon and Legolas strolled through the mall. As soon as they'd arrived, he started getting strange looks, and she pulled him frantically into the nearest store, with "Go. Go now," as her urging demand.
He took indignance to being pushed, but went anyway. She rarely went shopping for men, but at this point, anything was better than the olive tunic and leggings topped, of course, with the bow. They walked out, Rhiannon in her black leather heeled boots, dark wash jeans and a light spring sweater, her hair up messily and a smugly relieved look on her face.
Legolas was now in jeans, black shoes, a gray paperboy cap to both hide his ears and hold his long hair in, and a black blazer with a white, button-up collared shirt on underneath and a bag with his original clothes in it. After a quick trip back to the car, they were bag-free and began their trip into the mall anew.

In Nordstrom's, they went to the men's department, and were greeted by a female attendant in pinstriped pants, pointy white heels, a white baby tee that revealed plenty of cleavage and black cat-eye glasses. To Rhiannon, she reeked of simpering skank.

"Hello, and welcome to Nordstrom's. How may I help you?" The woman kept looking Legolas up and down approvingly. Rhiannon cleared her throat and called attention to herself once more.

"Yes, I want all the essentials for my friend here. He's visiting, from far away, and of course, the international baggage just didn't work, so we need everything new." Her eyebrows raised at the woman's gaze went back to Legolas.

"Alright, and… what's his size?" The woman asked in a completely inappropriate tone.

"I don't exactly know his sizes, so could we get him measured? The numbers are different where he's from," Rhiannon replied, stressing the plural and frowning at the walking sexual harassment suit.

"Yes, of course. Richard?" A man strolled over, measuring tape around his neck. "Could you get this man's measurements so we can continue with the shopping? Thankssomuuuch.." with that the woman walked away, and Rhiannon had the nerve to mutter under her breath, "Skank." She then turned to Legolas and spoke.
"I'm going to go and look for shoes for you, okay? I'll come back in like, 15 minutes."

"Does that actually mean 15 minutes, or two hours and 15 minutes?"

"What do you mean?"

"This morning, you said that you would be finished in five minutes, and you came down after forty-five minutes, and I was confused. Is time different in this era?"

"Legolas!" she stressed through her teeth. "Let's come over here and have a talk!" She led him away from Richard, his measuring tape and his curious look, and said urgently,
"Legolas, you cannot let anyone else know that you are not from this time." She looked around, and continued. "Especially since you don't know how to get back. The things they could do to you! And probably government regulated, so it might not even be illegal! Please. You've got to be more careful."

"I am sorry, Rhiannon. I did not know.." He got an uneasy look. "What would they do to me?"

"Oh, I don't know.. Keep you locked up, dissect you, run tests, something horrible like that."

"Men are absurd. They did not care for the Elves during my time, but now they wish to dissect me to gain information." He rolled his eyes before looking back at her. " I will be more careful."

"Thank you. And I mean fifteen minutes, not longer. Go get measured." She sent him away with a smile, and went to look at shoes.

Five hours, thirteen stores, and a complete wardrobe later, Legolas and Rhiannon (running high on shopping endorphins) climbed back into the SUV. Rhiannon clicked on the radio. Legolas turned to her.
"Rhiannon?"

"Hmm?" She replied absentmindedly, finding a song on her iPod to play for the drive home.

"What does 'skank' mean?" Rhiannon turned to him and burst out laughing. She had a hunch he'd been waiting the entire shopping trip to ask her that.

"Did you actually hear me?"

"Of course. I told you, my hearing is much advanced."

"It's those ears of yours." She reached out and playfully pulled down the paperboy cap. "A skank is someone who is.. promiscuous. Most commonly a woman. And I called 'Little Miss Attendant' a skank because she basically leaped into your jeans. Oh! I love this song!" She cranked up the volume, and sang loudly along.

Legolas gazed out of the window at the whizzing lights and buildings going by him, Rhiannon's voice breaking through his thoughts.

"Rhiannon?"

She stopped singing and looked at him.

"What do you mean, 'leaped into' my jeans?"
Rhiannon decided she found his curiosity adorable, and not annoying. Amazing what looks can do.

"Oh! Um, well. She wanted to f- um, have relations with you." Legolas looked appalled.

"Why would I have relations with a woman with such little honor?" Rhiannon snorted.

"Ya got me on that one!" She pushed the next song button, and began singing to Cher. She pressed the button for the next track, and squealed in delight. " Celiiine!! I love her!" Legolas watched her with a smile on his face, deciding her would ask about the music machine later. Legolas let out a laugh, watching her dance goofily along with the pop music blasting from the speakers. She stopped, and looked at him, smiling face and sparkling eyes. "Aw, shutup. Just for that, I'll give ya some more." She pushed the button four times, rolling the windows down as she went. "Bye bye bye! I'm doin' this tonight, you're probably gonna start a fight! I know this can't be right, hey baby come on!" Legolas laughed again. At the end, she was trying to teach him the one, two, three wave move from the videos as they laughed together loudly.

Back at home, Rhiannon got the adjoining bedroom prepared for Legolas. She hung up all his clothes with him, changed the sheets, and showed him the bathroom, and explained that her bedroom was through the other door in case he needed anything. She set up the colognes she had gotten him, noting the absence of deodorant and other toiletries. She'd tried to get them for him, but after she told him what they were for, he explained that he didn't need them, as he didn't sweat or dirty. He did mention something about an excellent invention for Dwarves, but she wasn't quite ready to tackle that hill just yet.

"Rhiannon? Could you please…" Legolas' voice sounded muffled. She crossed the bathroom to see him with boxers on, and the loose pants of one of the flannel pajama sets on his head. She collapsed in laughter, stomach still a little sore from the laughing and singing in the car. She walked to him, wiping the tears from her eyes, and took the pants off his head. She explained to him what to do, and covered her eyes as she walked out to her own bedroom to change for bed.

"What am I going to do with you?" She called through the rooms to him, pulling on a big shirt.

Legolas' blonde head poked through the door at this.

"You could try to help me figure out how I got here."