Pained
[Rolls up her sleeves] I've left this thing alone for far too long, so I'm going to make amends and get writing right this instant. For all who've reviewed this, this chapter is for you.
Malon survived seven years of hardship and pain, to be rescued by her knight in shining armour - but her knight isn't quite so shining as she would have liked him to be. Is this what she spent so long hoping for?
~/*\~/*\~/*\~
Another day has dawned, and again I am up before the sun. Oh glorious morning rays dancing over the water in the horses' troughs, why can't you light me up as well? I feel like a shadow, blotting out everything good in the world. And I know I shouldn't feel like this at all - I've everything I need and more. Father is back home and Ingo is at last himself. All the darkness is over, so why am I not happy?
Because he is not happy. Oh cruel heart, so long did I yearn for him - for anyone - to rescue me during the years of torment. But then when he came, so worn and weary and so...so terribly *human*. I was disappointed, because I knew then that my fantasy could never have been reality. It was all just the dreams of a silly little girl.
Though my flights of fancy do live on, that I admit. I still pray fervently that he'll wake up from his stupor and come back to me. That he will come back to the world.
Don't I deserve that? Seven years of torture, of waiting and hoping; don't I deserve my recompense as much as the next? Surely all that I have endured entitles me to my little piece of happiness? I had it for a few hours...had him for a short while. But then he had to carry on in his quest, and leave me alone to deal with life again. And now I doubt he will ever come back.
His burden is hard to bear, that I know all too well. I could see it in the wildness in his eyes - like a young foal beset by wolves, filled with primal fear of what's to come. And yet...when we lay together, he was calmed somewhat - dare I believe that I helped him? That I gave him what it was he needed to escape himself for a while? To escape the world that demands so much of him, and that he cannot pay back for all that is given.
I feel cruel to dwell on my own burdens...but who else will if I do not? Who else can I rely on to ask for redemption if I do not? No one, that is who. Father does not understand - he had his safe haven during the darkness. And Ingo was trapped within himself so far that I don't think even he fully understands what he became. So it is only I who can know what it is truly like to be alone, and to wonder day in, day out whether you shall see the next dawn, or die through the sheer horror of being made to live another day within your own mind.
I had to grow up fast - as all the children had to within the rising. I learned how to work the farm almost single-handedly within a few short months, with help from beatings and threats of starvation if I made a mistake.
All too soon, Ingo found my weak spot to be the horses, and every time I dared to stand up to him, he would find it easy to beat me down again with threats against them. Poor creatures - unable to defend themselves from their own futures, as steeds to Ganondorf and his disgusting followers. More than likely to also end up on a spit being roasted if they did not run fast enough.
And, twas not just the horses I had to worry for - as I grew, it was obvious that Ingo and his friends would take some more interest in me - crude jokes, unwanted gazes lingering too long over me as I carried things back and forth between the paddock and the barn in the evenings. Even a few careless touches which caused me to shiver and my skin to crawl as I dreaded what may come next.
Luckily, it never came. I managed to hide myself away quite well, to become as small and unnoticeable as possible, so that I was just another nameless slave amongst many nameless slaves in the empire.
It came close many times though...those times I don't like to recount, as I dread to think what might have happened had circumstances changed. Had I remained as outspoken as I was as a child, I doubt I would have survived those times at all.
Link...oh, he pops into my mind at the most inopportune times. And the thing is, I do not even mind that it happens, because deep in my heart I still believe him to be my knight - to be my shining hero, and nobody else's. Pah, it's the same with most of the young women in the Castle-town as well - I cannot deny that my dear 'Fairy boy' grew up to be quite the handsome man. But I can claim that I am the only to have known him truly - though I fear that was not how either of us really wished it to be.
I may be with his child...and I may not. I would have to see a soothsayer to know for sure, and leaving the farm right now is impossible. There are so many years to catch up on - so many deliveries of milk to be prepared now that it is back in demand. And I have to pack every single one of the crates - at least until we can get some staff back. Father's 'ill' - though I fear he is probably just so used to wasting time that he couldn't work if he wanted to. And Ingo is busy repenting of his sins, so will not help either.
It pains me a little to move these crates...I like to think that the pain can only be a little of what the whole nation feels. I can share in their grief, with my own little grief. My own little wish, shredded by the sharp knives of fickle fate.
Knight in shining armour...where are you? If not to save me, then to save the fallen knight who weeps and grieves for wrongs that were not his to right. Come and save him - save me - save all of us. The darkness is gone, but nothing else but a miracle will take away from us all the pain and the anger. Nothing can bring back the dead, no matter what we may try, they will still be dead, and those alive still in pain, and those not in pain will be angry that they aren't.
I'm in pain - not just the physical pain as I have to force my aching muscles to carry on working. But of course mental - maybe even spiritual, if I can believe that anyone has a soul anymore. I think perhaps I would prefer it that this is the only existence I will have, because I dread to think what another life may bring to me, other than more pain, and more evil. But I suppose if there is another a world, I'm prepared for it after what's happened in this one.
Seven years. Seven years Link - that's a long time for anyone to wait. But I did - I kept myself alive for you. I waited for so long, and you finally came; at first, not intent on rescue, but then your heroic nature forcing you to do so.
It did not force you to anything else, did it? You had free will over your other actions...didn't you?
Can you love, my dark knight? Or has all the love been taken away by the death and the pain you saw?
It hasn't taken it from me quite yet. I still feel love sometimes - heck, I even smile occasionally! Mostly when I think of you...or the times before I lost my innocence - before I had to see blood spilt. Before you had to see blood spilt.
Before all this, I believed in a shining knight in shining armour, who would arrive on his valiant steed and rescue me from the clutches of darkness. All right - you may not have shone, or donned polished armour of brightest steel - but your steed was valiant. I know, as I raised her myself. And you did rescue me from darkness' claws, whisking me away to safety and then vanquishing the proverbial dragon from my home. And then you gave me your own piece of light - a piece of you that I would not forget.
But it is this piece of light that you may need back, because you have fallen dull since then - you have not come back for me. You are alone, and I am alone - we are supposed to be alone together...forever is a strong word, but the words always have to rhyme in fairytales, so I suppose I shall have to use it...
Oh knight - shine again. One day you will, and I will be waiting.
Waiting as always.
~/*\~/*\~/*\~
Sorry for the a/u idea of Malon and Link perhaps having some relations of a sexual nature...I just thought it would add a nice angsty twist of a sort.
R+R - Soda
[Rolls up her sleeves] I've left this thing alone for far too long, so I'm going to make amends and get writing right this instant. For all who've reviewed this, this chapter is for you.
Malon survived seven years of hardship and pain, to be rescued by her knight in shining armour - but her knight isn't quite so shining as she would have liked him to be. Is this what she spent so long hoping for?
~/*\~/*\~/*\~
Another day has dawned, and again I am up before the sun. Oh glorious morning rays dancing over the water in the horses' troughs, why can't you light me up as well? I feel like a shadow, blotting out everything good in the world. And I know I shouldn't feel like this at all - I've everything I need and more. Father is back home and Ingo is at last himself. All the darkness is over, so why am I not happy?
Because he is not happy. Oh cruel heart, so long did I yearn for him - for anyone - to rescue me during the years of torment. But then when he came, so worn and weary and so...so terribly *human*. I was disappointed, because I knew then that my fantasy could never have been reality. It was all just the dreams of a silly little girl.
Though my flights of fancy do live on, that I admit. I still pray fervently that he'll wake up from his stupor and come back to me. That he will come back to the world.
Don't I deserve that? Seven years of torture, of waiting and hoping; don't I deserve my recompense as much as the next? Surely all that I have endured entitles me to my little piece of happiness? I had it for a few hours...had him for a short while. But then he had to carry on in his quest, and leave me alone to deal with life again. And now I doubt he will ever come back.
His burden is hard to bear, that I know all too well. I could see it in the wildness in his eyes - like a young foal beset by wolves, filled with primal fear of what's to come. And yet...when we lay together, he was calmed somewhat - dare I believe that I helped him? That I gave him what it was he needed to escape himself for a while? To escape the world that demands so much of him, and that he cannot pay back for all that is given.
I feel cruel to dwell on my own burdens...but who else will if I do not? Who else can I rely on to ask for redemption if I do not? No one, that is who. Father does not understand - he had his safe haven during the darkness. And Ingo was trapped within himself so far that I don't think even he fully understands what he became. So it is only I who can know what it is truly like to be alone, and to wonder day in, day out whether you shall see the next dawn, or die through the sheer horror of being made to live another day within your own mind.
I had to grow up fast - as all the children had to within the rising. I learned how to work the farm almost single-handedly within a few short months, with help from beatings and threats of starvation if I made a mistake.
All too soon, Ingo found my weak spot to be the horses, and every time I dared to stand up to him, he would find it easy to beat me down again with threats against them. Poor creatures - unable to defend themselves from their own futures, as steeds to Ganondorf and his disgusting followers. More than likely to also end up on a spit being roasted if they did not run fast enough.
And, twas not just the horses I had to worry for - as I grew, it was obvious that Ingo and his friends would take some more interest in me - crude jokes, unwanted gazes lingering too long over me as I carried things back and forth between the paddock and the barn in the evenings. Even a few careless touches which caused me to shiver and my skin to crawl as I dreaded what may come next.
Luckily, it never came. I managed to hide myself away quite well, to become as small and unnoticeable as possible, so that I was just another nameless slave amongst many nameless slaves in the empire.
It came close many times though...those times I don't like to recount, as I dread to think what might have happened had circumstances changed. Had I remained as outspoken as I was as a child, I doubt I would have survived those times at all.
Link...oh, he pops into my mind at the most inopportune times. And the thing is, I do not even mind that it happens, because deep in my heart I still believe him to be my knight - to be my shining hero, and nobody else's. Pah, it's the same with most of the young women in the Castle-town as well - I cannot deny that my dear 'Fairy boy' grew up to be quite the handsome man. But I can claim that I am the only to have known him truly - though I fear that was not how either of us really wished it to be.
I may be with his child...and I may not. I would have to see a soothsayer to know for sure, and leaving the farm right now is impossible. There are so many years to catch up on - so many deliveries of milk to be prepared now that it is back in demand. And I have to pack every single one of the crates - at least until we can get some staff back. Father's 'ill' - though I fear he is probably just so used to wasting time that he couldn't work if he wanted to. And Ingo is busy repenting of his sins, so will not help either.
It pains me a little to move these crates...I like to think that the pain can only be a little of what the whole nation feels. I can share in their grief, with my own little grief. My own little wish, shredded by the sharp knives of fickle fate.
Knight in shining armour...where are you? If not to save me, then to save the fallen knight who weeps and grieves for wrongs that were not his to right. Come and save him - save me - save all of us. The darkness is gone, but nothing else but a miracle will take away from us all the pain and the anger. Nothing can bring back the dead, no matter what we may try, they will still be dead, and those alive still in pain, and those not in pain will be angry that they aren't.
I'm in pain - not just the physical pain as I have to force my aching muscles to carry on working. But of course mental - maybe even spiritual, if I can believe that anyone has a soul anymore. I think perhaps I would prefer it that this is the only existence I will have, because I dread to think what another life may bring to me, other than more pain, and more evil. But I suppose if there is another a world, I'm prepared for it after what's happened in this one.
Seven years. Seven years Link - that's a long time for anyone to wait. But I did - I kept myself alive for you. I waited for so long, and you finally came; at first, not intent on rescue, but then your heroic nature forcing you to do so.
It did not force you to anything else, did it? You had free will over your other actions...didn't you?
Can you love, my dark knight? Or has all the love been taken away by the death and the pain you saw?
It hasn't taken it from me quite yet. I still feel love sometimes - heck, I even smile occasionally! Mostly when I think of you...or the times before I lost my innocence - before I had to see blood spilt. Before you had to see blood spilt.
Before all this, I believed in a shining knight in shining armour, who would arrive on his valiant steed and rescue me from the clutches of darkness. All right - you may not have shone, or donned polished armour of brightest steel - but your steed was valiant. I know, as I raised her myself. And you did rescue me from darkness' claws, whisking me away to safety and then vanquishing the proverbial dragon from my home. And then you gave me your own piece of light - a piece of you that I would not forget.
But it is this piece of light that you may need back, because you have fallen dull since then - you have not come back for me. You are alone, and I am alone - we are supposed to be alone together...forever is a strong word, but the words always have to rhyme in fairytales, so I suppose I shall have to use it...
Oh knight - shine again. One day you will, and I will be waiting.
Waiting as always.
~/*\~/*\~/*\~
Sorry for the a/u idea of Malon and Link perhaps having some relations of a sexual nature...I just thought it would add a nice angsty twist of a sort.
R+R - Soda