Getting Off The Griefmobile
By Annakovsky
See part 1 for all relevant info and disclaimer.
***********
CHAPTER FIVE
***********
"I can't believe Dawn thinks I don't know about her and Andrew," Buffy complained to Willow and Xander at Dairy Queen one afternoon. They were all sitting outside with their blizzards, sun glaring off the parking lot. "It's not like I'm some kind of mentally impaired, short-bus riding blind person, you know. I mean, 'Charlie's Angels was a delightful romp?' Squirrels could come up with a more believable line than that."
"Oh, c'mon, Buffy, you remember being a teenager. All adults were morons," said Willow.
"All adults *are* morons," said Faith, returning from the bathroom and straddling the picnic table bench as Buffy handed her back her ice cream. "I can feel my brain rotting away more every year."
Giles had mentioned to Buffy that maybe she should invite Faith to do things with them once in awhile, saying something about Faith seeming a little left out. Buffy was surprised and thought Giles was completely clueless, since she was pretty sure Faith wasn't hanging out with them because she thought they were lame and un-fun. But Buffy dutifully invited her and was shocked when Faith seemed glad to come along. Score one for the clueless British man. And it actually turned out to be kind of cool. She... fit with them, somehow. And it seemed like she was really trying. Either Faith had become way more responsible or Buffy had loosened up a lot, 'cause it wasn't all Goofus and Gallant anymore.
"Well, okay, so maybe we're getting towards dumb adulthood, but I'm not Dawn's mom, I'm her cool older sister! Shouldn't she be, like, confiding in me? Also, does this mean that my mom knew that I wasn't really going to the library on Friday nights?"
"But, um, Buffy?" said Willow. "We *were* going to the library on Friday nights. Remember?"
"Oh my God, I had the lamest adolescence ever."
"Least you didn't spend what would have been your senior year in jail," Faith joked, wiggling her eyebrows and taking a big bite of her ice-cream.
"It was actually touch and go on that at one point," said Buffy. "Funny story. But yeah, okay, I guess we were not your average teens. But even so, we weren't dating, like, the biggest freaks in school..."
"Buffy, we *were* the biggest freaks in school," interrupted Willow.
"Well, okay, yes, but at least we had the sense to not date ex-arch-villains who'd tried to kill... and that's not really working either, so I'm just going to stop this sentence right now and move on to something else. So, how 'bout this heat, huh?"
"In your defense, I just have to say that at least Angel and Spike were cool," said Xander. They all stared at him. "What? They were. In an annoying, showing-me-up kind of way. So Buff, do you want me to give Andrew the "I have a .45 and a shovel; I doubt anyone will miss you" talk about breaking Dawn's heart?"
"Sounds good to me. Though I think Dawn's more likely to break his. Have you seen them? She's all, 'Andrew, get me a Diet Coke.' 'Andrew, we're going to the mall now, put the action figure down.' 'Andrew, if you're done with my laundry, I'm really in the mood for chocolate chip cookies, made from scratch.' And he's like, 'Sure, Dawn, I just found a great new recipe, so I'll get started on that as soon as I finish ironing your underwear.'"
"That's my girl," Xander said proudly.
"It's ridiculous. But anyway. Enough about my lame baby sister. What do you guys think about," Buffy's eyes suddenly widened as she stared over Willow's head, "that enormous demon coming out of the trees at that end of the parking lot?"
Faith turned her head casually. "Well, I gotta give it points for the scales, but the horns are very 1998." She and Buffy were up and moving before she finished the sentence, pulling weapons out of their purses (both had stakes, but Faith bypassed hers to pull out a knife) and heading smoothly towards their opponent. Xander and Willow turned to watch, and in tandem, each thoughtfully took another bite of his or her ice cream.
The double-team was quick and effective. When the demon lashed out an arm at Faith, she ducked under and plunged her knife into its gut. It made a little mewling noise of anger and this time smacked Faith hard with the back of its scaly hand, knocking her flat. In the meantime, Buffy had leaped onto its back and was holding on for dear life as it frantically grabbed at her, It had nearly pulled her free before Faith was back up and delivering a high kick to its chest. It staggered backwards, now focusing on Faith, who tossed Buffy her knife. Buffy caught it and slit the demon's throat in one smooth motion, jumping free at the same moment so she wouldn't get blood on her new shirt.
"You guys know what this means, right?" Buffy asked, looking disgustedly at her bloody hands and then taking one of the napkins Willow mutely held out.
"The sacred parking lot of Dairy Queen has been desecrated?"
"Yes, but also? Summer's over."
"Aw, man. It's barely August."
"And somehow the demons are already coming out to play. Time to call in Giles Exposition and get back to work." They all sighed.
"You know what I hate most about demons?" Faith asked as the four of them dragged the corpse back into the little wooded area behind the Dairy Queen.
"Body detail?" asked Xander.
"Body detail."
*****************************************
TBC...
By Annakovsky
See part 1 for all relevant info and disclaimer.
***********
CHAPTER FIVE
***********
"I can't believe Dawn thinks I don't know about her and Andrew," Buffy complained to Willow and Xander at Dairy Queen one afternoon. They were all sitting outside with their blizzards, sun glaring off the parking lot. "It's not like I'm some kind of mentally impaired, short-bus riding blind person, you know. I mean, 'Charlie's Angels was a delightful romp?' Squirrels could come up with a more believable line than that."
"Oh, c'mon, Buffy, you remember being a teenager. All adults were morons," said Willow.
"All adults *are* morons," said Faith, returning from the bathroom and straddling the picnic table bench as Buffy handed her back her ice cream. "I can feel my brain rotting away more every year."
Giles had mentioned to Buffy that maybe she should invite Faith to do things with them once in awhile, saying something about Faith seeming a little left out. Buffy was surprised and thought Giles was completely clueless, since she was pretty sure Faith wasn't hanging out with them because she thought they were lame and un-fun. But Buffy dutifully invited her and was shocked when Faith seemed glad to come along. Score one for the clueless British man. And it actually turned out to be kind of cool. She... fit with them, somehow. And it seemed like she was really trying. Either Faith had become way more responsible or Buffy had loosened up a lot, 'cause it wasn't all Goofus and Gallant anymore.
"Well, okay, so maybe we're getting towards dumb adulthood, but I'm not Dawn's mom, I'm her cool older sister! Shouldn't she be, like, confiding in me? Also, does this mean that my mom knew that I wasn't really going to the library on Friday nights?"
"But, um, Buffy?" said Willow. "We *were* going to the library on Friday nights. Remember?"
"Oh my God, I had the lamest adolescence ever."
"Least you didn't spend what would have been your senior year in jail," Faith joked, wiggling her eyebrows and taking a big bite of her ice-cream.
"It was actually touch and go on that at one point," said Buffy. "Funny story. But yeah, okay, I guess we were not your average teens. But even so, we weren't dating, like, the biggest freaks in school..."
"Buffy, we *were* the biggest freaks in school," interrupted Willow.
"Well, okay, yes, but at least we had the sense to not date ex-arch-villains who'd tried to kill... and that's not really working either, so I'm just going to stop this sentence right now and move on to something else. So, how 'bout this heat, huh?"
"In your defense, I just have to say that at least Angel and Spike were cool," said Xander. They all stared at him. "What? They were. In an annoying, showing-me-up kind of way. So Buff, do you want me to give Andrew the "I have a .45 and a shovel; I doubt anyone will miss you" talk about breaking Dawn's heart?"
"Sounds good to me. Though I think Dawn's more likely to break his. Have you seen them? She's all, 'Andrew, get me a Diet Coke.' 'Andrew, we're going to the mall now, put the action figure down.' 'Andrew, if you're done with my laundry, I'm really in the mood for chocolate chip cookies, made from scratch.' And he's like, 'Sure, Dawn, I just found a great new recipe, so I'll get started on that as soon as I finish ironing your underwear.'"
"That's my girl," Xander said proudly.
"It's ridiculous. But anyway. Enough about my lame baby sister. What do you guys think about," Buffy's eyes suddenly widened as she stared over Willow's head, "that enormous demon coming out of the trees at that end of the parking lot?"
Faith turned her head casually. "Well, I gotta give it points for the scales, but the horns are very 1998." She and Buffy were up and moving before she finished the sentence, pulling weapons out of their purses (both had stakes, but Faith bypassed hers to pull out a knife) and heading smoothly towards their opponent. Xander and Willow turned to watch, and in tandem, each thoughtfully took another bite of his or her ice cream.
The double-team was quick and effective. When the demon lashed out an arm at Faith, she ducked under and plunged her knife into its gut. It made a little mewling noise of anger and this time smacked Faith hard with the back of its scaly hand, knocking her flat. In the meantime, Buffy had leaped onto its back and was holding on for dear life as it frantically grabbed at her, It had nearly pulled her free before Faith was back up and delivering a high kick to its chest. It staggered backwards, now focusing on Faith, who tossed Buffy her knife. Buffy caught it and slit the demon's throat in one smooth motion, jumping free at the same moment so she wouldn't get blood on her new shirt.
"You guys know what this means, right?" Buffy asked, looking disgustedly at her bloody hands and then taking one of the napkins Willow mutely held out.
"The sacred parking lot of Dairy Queen has been desecrated?"
"Yes, but also? Summer's over."
"Aw, man. It's barely August."
"And somehow the demons are already coming out to play. Time to call in Giles Exposition and get back to work." They all sighed.
"You know what I hate most about demons?" Faith asked as the four of them dragged the corpse back into the little wooded area behind the Dairy Queen.
"Body detail?" asked Xander.
"Body detail."
*****************************************
TBC...