Getting Off The Griefmobile
By Annakovsky
See part 1 for all relevant info and disclaimer.
***********
CHAPTER SEVEN
***********
Willow had her new laptop out at the kitchen table, having seriously upped the pace on the spell she'd been working on for the past few weeks. It was a variation on the Potential Identifying spell she'd used earlier in the year to find Amanda. She'd been working on adapting it to identify Slayers instead of Potentials, and also on making it more practical for finding Slayers scattered throughout the world. Ideally, when it was finished, the spell would be keyed into the laptop and produce a spreadsheet of names, ages, phone numbers, and addresses. Ideally. So far nothing, but she was sure if she worked on it harder, she'd get it soon. And if the First really was getting active again, the first thing it would probably do would be try to kill the new Slayers, so finding them all and readying them all to protect themselves was very important. Buffy had already called all the ones they'd known from Sunnydale.
She sighed and tried to focus. Thinking about what might happen kept distracting her and she needed to concentrate. Also, thinking about what had happened.
It still just blew her away that Sunnydale was gone. It was weird how much it made her feel like she was a girl without a past, like everything before last May had just been wiped out. It was weird how adrift it made her feel.
She found herself wanting to be around Xander all the time, like the fact that he remembered all the same stuff she did made it real, made *her* real. There was no one else who remembered the creek where they used to catch tadpoles, or how there was one tree in her yard that was perfect for climbing. No one else remembered that Travis Bernard had been the biggest bully of junior high (until he, like many of their classmates over the years, had mysteriously disappeared in 8th grade), and remembered that one time in elementary school that Cordelia had tripped during gym class and fallen on her face in front of everybody. No one else had had dinner at her house with her family (back when her parents used to make an effort), and no one else remembered how dorky she had looked when she had braces and that horrible flippy haircut.
Her parents had made it out of Sunnydale in the mass exodus, and so had his, but it's not like either set were treasuring the memories of Willow and Xander's lives, willing to talk over the geography of the playground with them. The two of them had each other, and that was it. And Buffy, and Giles, and Faith, too, but their memories didn't date back to when Xander used to steal Willow's Barbies and she would tickle him 'til he cried. Xander was Sunnydale to her now, was the past. Was the anchor to everything that had happened before.
That was sort of part of the reason she had broken up with Kennedy. Most of the reason was that Kennedy was on the bossy side and totally rebound girl and Willow just didn't care that much, but also... it was just weird to have this person who thought they were everything to you, when they didn't even know you before you were gay, or before you had killed people, or before your girlfriend had died. Kennedy seemed to think Willow was this cool, lesbian witch, and while that was sort of gratifying, Willow just didn't feel like that was really her. She still felt like nerdy, softer-side-of-Sears Willow on the inside, and for Kennedy not to have known that Willow just felt like Kennedy didn't really know her at all.
Willow knew this was sort of silly, because obviously she'd only have one friend and would be doomed to a life of celibacy if she required everyone to have known her her whole life, but at this point, it mattered to her. And Xander was what she needed. It was almost like it was back sophomore year of high school, when she had that huge crush on him and her whole world revolved around what Xander was doing and feeling. Except without the whole crush part and the desperate disappointment when he made it obvious he just thought of her as a friend.
But spell, spell, what did she need for this spell? She rubbed her head. Okay, if she replaced the chrysalises, or whatever the plural was, with full-grown butterflies, and then changed some of the wording... okay. She started typing away.
Xander came in and started opening cupboards.
"How's the spell coming?" he asked, pulling out a pitcher.
"I'll get it eventually."
"Of course you will," he said, smiling at her. "I'm making Kool-Aid, you want any?"
"What kind, Purplesaurus Rex?"
"But of course."
"Then absolutely. You remember that time that we brought some up to your room and you spilled the whole container on the carpet by your bed?"
"Yeah, and so we rearranged all the furniture to cover it? That stain's still there, it...." He stopped. They both pictured the floor of Xander's childhood bedroom, with its beige carpet and round purple stain, splintering into floorboards with a rush of dust and debris, his old toys and shelves of childhood memories smashing together and collapsing, along with the rest of his house and neighborhood, into the crater. Xander started mixing the Kool-Aid with a fierce energy, and picked the pitcher up as he moved to the fridge to get ice, still mixing.
At that moment, Dawn and Andrew came tearing through the kitchen towards the outside door, Xander directly in their path. Xander saw them at the last minute and tried desperately to move the Kool-Aid out of their way, but Andrew, in trying to dodge around him, managed to knock the pitcher so that almost all the Purplesaurus Rex went down Xander's front.
"Sorry!" Andrew called as Dawn pulled him out the door. "The movie starts in, like, 2 minutes!" He waved apologetically and disappeared as Xander looked down at his now completely purple shirt front.
"Are you okay?" Willow asked, trying not to laugh. She got up and grabbed a handful of paper towels and wet a few of them under the tap. Xander disgustedly tried to pull his shirt away from his body.
"I had forgotten how sticky Kool-Aid is," he said. He looked down again before just pulling his shirt off over his head and using the back of the shirt, which had mostly missed the Kool-Aid flood, to wipe uselessly at the sticky purple traces all over his upper body. "Have I mentioned that I hate Andrew?" he joked, wiping at his left arm.
Willow handed him some of the paper towels, and found herself looking at his chest and arms. Xander had been working out, she noticed vaguely. It looked... hmm. Willow was suddenly very aware of Xander as male. And not in a bad way. She noticed a trail of hair beginning around his belly button and disappearing into the waistband of his jeans, and felt... whoa! Hey! Lesbian! What do you think you're doing, brain?
"I think I better just go shower," Xander said.
"Huh? Yes! Shower! Good. Okay, you go shower. I'm gonna get back to this spell because wow, it's pretty important and I think I'm on the verge of cracking it, and... yeah," she finished lamely, realizing she was babbling and desperately trying to stop.
"Okay, then," Xander said, looking at her strangely. "Will, how much caffeine did you have today?"
"Huh? Oh, way too much, you have no idea. I better lay off that now." He grinned at her and shook his head affectionately as he headed upstairs.
She went back over to the laptop and rested her head on her left hand for a minute. Spell, think about the spell. What do you need to do? After a few seconds she began to type again, determinedly not thinking about Xander in the shower. At all.
**************
TBC...
By Annakovsky
See part 1 for all relevant info and disclaimer.
***********
CHAPTER SEVEN
***********
Willow had her new laptop out at the kitchen table, having seriously upped the pace on the spell she'd been working on for the past few weeks. It was a variation on the Potential Identifying spell she'd used earlier in the year to find Amanda. She'd been working on adapting it to identify Slayers instead of Potentials, and also on making it more practical for finding Slayers scattered throughout the world. Ideally, when it was finished, the spell would be keyed into the laptop and produce a spreadsheet of names, ages, phone numbers, and addresses. Ideally. So far nothing, but she was sure if she worked on it harder, she'd get it soon. And if the First really was getting active again, the first thing it would probably do would be try to kill the new Slayers, so finding them all and readying them all to protect themselves was very important. Buffy had already called all the ones they'd known from Sunnydale.
She sighed and tried to focus. Thinking about what might happen kept distracting her and she needed to concentrate. Also, thinking about what had happened.
It still just blew her away that Sunnydale was gone. It was weird how much it made her feel like she was a girl without a past, like everything before last May had just been wiped out. It was weird how adrift it made her feel.
She found herself wanting to be around Xander all the time, like the fact that he remembered all the same stuff she did made it real, made *her* real. There was no one else who remembered the creek where they used to catch tadpoles, or how there was one tree in her yard that was perfect for climbing. No one else remembered that Travis Bernard had been the biggest bully of junior high (until he, like many of their classmates over the years, had mysteriously disappeared in 8th grade), and remembered that one time in elementary school that Cordelia had tripped during gym class and fallen on her face in front of everybody. No one else had had dinner at her house with her family (back when her parents used to make an effort), and no one else remembered how dorky she had looked when she had braces and that horrible flippy haircut.
Her parents had made it out of Sunnydale in the mass exodus, and so had his, but it's not like either set were treasuring the memories of Willow and Xander's lives, willing to talk over the geography of the playground with them. The two of them had each other, and that was it. And Buffy, and Giles, and Faith, too, but their memories didn't date back to when Xander used to steal Willow's Barbies and she would tickle him 'til he cried. Xander was Sunnydale to her now, was the past. Was the anchor to everything that had happened before.
That was sort of part of the reason she had broken up with Kennedy. Most of the reason was that Kennedy was on the bossy side and totally rebound girl and Willow just didn't care that much, but also... it was just weird to have this person who thought they were everything to you, when they didn't even know you before you were gay, or before you had killed people, or before your girlfriend had died. Kennedy seemed to think Willow was this cool, lesbian witch, and while that was sort of gratifying, Willow just didn't feel like that was really her. She still felt like nerdy, softer-side-of-Sears Willow on the inside, and for Kennedy not to have known that Willow just felt like Kennedy didn't really know her at all.
Willow knew this was sort of silly, because obviously she'd only have one friend and would be doomed to a life of celibacy if she required everyone to have known her her whole life, but at this point, it mattered to her. And Xander was what she needed. It was almost like it was back sophomore year of high school, when she had that huge crush on him and her whole world revolved around what Xander was doing and feeling. Except without the whole crush part and the desperate disappointment when he made it obvious he just thought of her as a friend.
But spell, spell, what did she need for this spell? She rubbed her head. Okay, if she replaced the chrysalises, or whatever the plural was, with full-grown butterflies, and then changed some of the wording... okay. She started typing away.
Xander came in and started opening cupboards.
"How's the spell coming?" he asked, pulling out a pitcher.
"I'll get it eventually."
"Of course you will," he said, smiling at her. "I'm making Kool-Aid, you want any?"
"What kind, Purplesaurus Rex?"
"But of course."
"Then absolutely. You remember that time that we brought some up to your room and you spilled the whole container on the carpet by your bed?"
"Yeah, and so we rearranged all the furniture to cover it? That stain's still there, it...." He stopped. They both pictured the floor of Xander's childhood bedroom, with its beige carpet and round purple stain, splintering into floorboards with a rush of dust and debris, his old toys and shelves of childhood memories smashing together and collapsing, along with the rest of his house and neighborhood, into the crater. Xander started mixing the Kool-Aid with a fierce energy, and picked the pitcher up as he moved to the fridge to get ice, still mixing.
At that moment, Dawn and Andrew came tearing through the kitchen towards the outside door, Xander directly in their path. Xander saw them at the last minute and tried desperately to move the Kool-Aid out of their way, but Andrew, in trying to dodge around him, managed to knock the pitcher so that almost all the Purplesaurus Rex went down Xander's front.
"Sorry!" Andrew called as Dawn pulled him out the door. "The movie starts in, like, 2 minutes!" He waved apologetically and disappeared as Xander looked down at his now completely purple shirt front.
"Are you okay?" Willow asked, trying not to laugh. She got up and grabbed a handful of paper towels and wet a few of them under the tap. Xander disgustedly tried to pull his shirt away from his body.
"I had forgotten how sticky Kool-Aid is," he said. He looked down again before just pulling his shirt off over his head and using the back of the shirt, which had mostly missed the Kool-Aid flood, to wipe uselessly at the sticky purple traces all over his upper body. "Have I mentioned that I hate Andrew?" he joked, wiping at his left arm.
Willow handed him some of the paper towels, and found herself looking at his chest and arms. Xander had been working out, she noticed vaguely. It looked... hmm. Willow was suddenly very aware of Xander as male. And not in a bad way. She noticed a trail of hair beginning around his belly button and disappearing into the waistband of his jeans, and felt... whoa! Hey! Lesbian! What do you think you're doing, brain?
"I think I better just go shower," Xander said.
"Huh? Yes! Shower! Good. Okay, you go shower. I'm gonna get back to this spell because wow, it's pretty important and I think I'm on the verge of cracking it, and... yeah," she finished lamely, realizing she was babbling and desperately trying to stop.
"Okay, then," Xander said, looking at her strangely. "Will, how much caffeine did you have today?"
"Huh? Oh, way too much, you have no idea. I better lay off that now." He grinned at her and shook his head affectionately as he headed upstairs.
She went back over to the laptop and rested her head on her left hand for a minute. Spell, think about the spell. What do you need to do? After a few seconds she began to type again, determinedly not thinking about Xander in the shower. At all.
**************
TBC...