Getting Off The Griefmobile
By Annakovsky
See part 1 for all relevant info and disclaimer.
***********
CHAPTER NINE
***********
Faith soon found that if you've told one girl that it's her destiny to slay vampires and protect the world from evil, you've told them all. The first time was sort of interesting, the second time a little less so, and by the third she had to hold herself back from rolling her eyes at the "But there's no such thing as vampires!" and the "But I can't be chosen! I'm normal, I swear!" and blah dee blah blah. It was a good thing Giles was there and had inhuman patience, or else the sessions would be "Vampires are real, you slay them, here's a stake, have fun, later!"
Even so, she and Giles started making bets to liven things up.
"Okay," she said as they sat in the driveway of yet another suburban home. (They were doing North America first.) "Five dollars. I'm thinking she'll say, 'You're both crazy,' 'Get out of my house!' and 'But I can't be a vampire slayer.' In that order."
"That's just like shooting fish in a barrel! Put some sport into it, Faith." She grinned.
"Okay, then. Blond, brunette or redhead?"
"Blond," they said together. Slayers, at least the white ones, seemed to be disproportionately blond.
"Okay, um... already seen vampires and in the process of repressing, or not?" Faith said. She'd finally stumped him.
"Hmmm. I'll say not. For five dollars," Giles said after thinking it over.
"You're on." They got out of the car. "You know, this'd be easier if we still had a pet vamp to haul around. Just get Spike to give her the fang face and cut out the whole first section of the convincing."
"But then there'd be the tedious explanation of why you aren't supposed to kill this particular vampire, and moral ambiguity and souls and what all else, and in the end you just have a much more confused new Slayer thinking that vampires are noble, isolated creatures who belong in an Anne Rice novel."
"In other words, chaos," said Faith.
"Indeed," he said, knocking on the door. She leaned against the brick of the house, waiting for the girl to open the door, and yawned loudly. He rolled his eyes at her.
**
The sun had set by the time they emerged from the home of Allison Young, brand spanking new slayer, and Faith was five dollars richer. Turned out Ms. Young had encountered a vampire just two nights before, but managed to outrun it. Faith had given her a few lessons in martial arts, handed over a some stakes, and Giles had told her all the basic vampire slaying principles, as well as a little bit about the First. Then they hit the local graveyard and actually found a vamp for her to dust (away from a Hellmouth, there was no guarantee that you'd find one for the newbies to practice on). She did all right; a little clumsy, but hit the heart on her first try and was definitely moving more securely by the end of the fight.
"Did you guys see that! He just turned to dust!" she gushed, eyes wide.
"Yup," said Faith, smiling despite herself.
"Good work," said Giles. "Very competent for your first attempt."
"Wow, don't bowl her over with the enthusiasm there, Giles," teased Faith. He ignored her.
"I think you'll do quite well on your own," he said. "Just remember to always stay on the alert, and we'll be in touch." He actually shook hands with her.
"Thanks," Allison said. She looked at her watch. "Whoa! Curfew! I gotta run, but thanks, guys." She waved and took off running, clearly enjoying her new speed. "This is awesome!" she yelled back over her shoulder before she jumped the cemetery wall and disappeared. Faith and Giles grinned at each other, and began walking towards the car. Faith was enjoying the night air and thinking about the obvious delight on Allison's face as she had staked the vamp. She was enough lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the gang of vampires until they were practically on top of her and Giles.
The fight was a good one; standard, 'cause they were just vamps, but there were around six or seven of them which made it more of a challenge. For awhile after Faith's whole evil-is-rad phase, she was wary of her enjoyment of the slaying, felt like that had been what had pulled her down. She thought that maybe if she had been like Buffy, tried to not enjoy it so much, she'd be safer. From herself.
But seeing all these new slayers, with their joy in their strength – not in the killing part, but in the movement, in the feeling of doing what you were made to do – had reminded her that it wasn't enjoying the slaying that was bad, it was what you did with the slaying.
She should write inspirational posters, she really should.
But she'd found the joy again. When she moved so fast the vamp could hardly see her, or delivered an awesome high kick, or grabbed one vamp and whirled him so that he slammed into another one... she loved it, loved the feel of her muscles stretching and moving and pulling to their limits, loved the complete absorption in the moment, the clarity of it, the spur of the moment creativity, seeing what was around and using it and running and jumping and hitting and kicking. Oh, it was good, and she loved the vamps and loved the cemetery and loved her body that was so strong and fought so well and loved Giles and loved the stake and the moon and she could fight and fight forever.
That is, she loved it all until the very end. She staked a vamp and turned to find that there was only one left, which Giles was grappling with. She went over to help, and was just behind Giles' shoulder when he staked it himself. Then he whirled as he felt her right behind him, his stake up and ready and a look on his face like... well, it was almost scary, that look. Hell, it *was* scary. He looked like a killer, Giles did, and he only stopped the stake an inch away from her heart.
"Whoa!" she said, disturbed but trying not to show it. "Hey, Mr. Overenthusiastic, you could hurt someone with that." Giles immediately looked apologetic and lowered the stake, but it didn't erase the memory of the look in his eyes a second before. Faith was almost shaking, which was stupid because she could have easily stopped it before he'd hurt her. It wasn't the whole I-could-have-died thing, it was just... Giles shouldn't look like that.
"Sorry. I thought you were another vampire," he said. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, don't worry about it," she said after a second. She started walking to the car, and noticed that her hand actually *was* shaking now. When did she become the wuss of the century?
She didn't say much to Giles that night, or the next day as they drove to their next target. She put her headphones on and looked out the windows, or pretended to be asleep. She just... didn't want to talk to him.
When they got back into the car after a bathroom break in the middle of the afternoon, Giles just sat there, without starting the engine. Faith started getting out her CD player again, hoping to get the headphones on before he said anything.
"Faith," he said. Damn it!
"Yeah?" she said, going for casual and mostly succeeding. She started looking through her CD wallet for something new to listen to.
"Is everything all right?"
"Sure, everything's fine." She flipped a page.
"Because you haven't said a word all day."
"I'm just... you know, tired."
"You've pretended to be asleep three times already, and normally you're talking like mad."
Faith didn't know what to say, and closed her eyes for a second. She almost felt like she was going to start crying; there was that feeling of weight in her head, behind her eyes. She didn't even really know why.
"I just... I thought you were safe," she said finally. There was a pause.
"Oh," he said. He was staring straight out the windshield. He suddenly looked much older.
"And you're not," she said. "Are you." A statement, not a question.
"No. I suppose not." The silence in the car was like a physical thing, hovering over them.
"It's stupid, I'm sorry, no big deal," Faith said finally. "I just, you know, got a little rattled, but really, I'm over it."
"Please don't lie to me." Faith was taken up short and ducked her head.
"Okay," she said. They sat in silence.
"I'm sorry," he said finally. "I know what I was feeling last night at that moment and I understand how it could..." he waved a hand vaguely. The next sentence came out softer. "Sometimes it frightens me as well."
"Did you use to be...?" Faith trailed off, not knowing quite what the adjective was that would complete that sentence. He kind of half nodded.
"I used to be very... reckless. There was a group of us who would raise demons for the high, and other... well. It was a long time ago now. But it's still in me."
"Have you killed anybody?" Faith asked in a small voice.
"Yes," he said simply.
"So have I," she said, and immediately felt stupid because of course he knew that. But he didn't look like he thought she was stupid. He looked at her compassionately.
"I know," he said. After a moment he resumed staring out at the trees in front of the car. A man was walking his dog in the pet area of the rest stop, just to their left.
"How do you keep... how do you live with it?" Faith asked. She still felt like she might cry and her head was aching. He turned to look at her, his eyes vulnerable and weary, and he sort of shrugged helplessly.
"You just... do," he said. They looked at each other.
"Yeah."
After a long minute of silence, Giles started the car. The highway stretched for miles in front of them, long and straight and lonely.
*******************
TBC...
By Annakovsky
See part 1 for all relevant info and disclaimer.
***********
CHAPTER NINE
***********
Faith soon found that if you've told one girl that it's her destiny to slay vampires and protect the world from evil, you've told them all. The first time was sort of interesting, the second time a little less so, and by the third she had to hold herself back from rolling her eyes at the "But there's no such thing as vampires!" and the "But I can't be chosen! I'm normal, I swear!" and blah dee blah blah. It was a good thing Giles was there and had inhuman patience, or else the sessions would be "Vampires are real, you slay them, here's a stake, have fun, later!"
Even so, she and Giles started making bets to liven things up.
"Okay," she said as they sat in the driveway of yet another suburban home. (They were doing North America first.) "Five dollars. I'm thinking she'll say, 'You're both crazy,' 'Get out of my house!' and 'But I can't be a vampire slayer.' In that order."
"That's just like shooting fish in a barrel! Put some sport into it, Faith." She grinned.
"Okay, then. Blond, brunette or redhead?"
"Blond," they said together. Slayers, at least the white ones, seemed to be disproportionately blond.
"Okay, um... already seen vampires and in the process of repressing, or not?" Faith said. She'd finally stumped him.
"Hmmm. I'll say not. For five dollars," Giles said after thinking it over.
"You're on." They got out of the car. "You know, this'd be easier if we still had a pet vamp to haul around. Just get Spike to give her the fang face and cut out the whole first section of the convincing."
"But then there'd be the tedious explanation of why you aren't supposed to kill this particular vampire, and moral ambiguity and souls and what all else, and in the end you just have a much more confused new Slayer thinking that vampires are noble, isolated creatures who belong in an Anne Rice novel."
"In other words, chaos," said Faith.
"Indeed," he said, knocking on the door. She leaned against the brick of the house, waiting for the girl to open the door, and yawned loudly. He rolled his eyes at her.
**
The sun had set by the time they emerged from the home of Allison Young, brand spanking new slayer, and Faith was five dollars richer. Turned out Ms. Young had encountered a vampire just two nights before, but managed to outrun it. Faith had given her a few lessons in martial arts, handed over a some stakes, and Giles had told her all the basic vampire slaying principles, as well as a little bit about the First. Then they hit the local graveyard and actually found a vamp for her to dust (away from a Hellmouth, there was no guarantee that you'd find one for the newbies to practice on). She did all right; a little clumsy, but hit the heart on her first try and was definitely moving more securely by the end of the fight.
"Did you guys see that! He just turned to dust!" she gushed, eyes wide.
"Yup," said Faith, smiling despite herself.
"Good work," said Giles. "Very competent for your first attempt."
"Wow, don't bowl her over with the enthusiasm there, Giles," teased Faith. He ignored her.
"I think you'll do quite well on your own," he said. "Just remember to always stay on the alert, and we'll be in touch." He actually shook hands with her.
"Thanks," Allison said. She looked at her watch. "Whoa! Curfew! I gotta run, but thanks, guys." She waved and took off running, clearly enjoying her new speed. "This is awesome!" she yelled back over her shoulder before she jumped the cemetery wall and disappeared. Faith and Giles grinned at each other, and began walking towards the car. Faith was enjoying the night air and thinking about the obvious delight on Allison's face as she had staked the vamp. She was enough lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the gang of vampires until they were practically on top of her and Giles.
The fight was a good one; standard, 'cause they were just vamps, but there were around six or seven of them which made it more of a challenge. For awhile after Faith's whole evil-is-rad phase, she was wary of her enjoyment of the slaying, felt like that had been what had pulled her down. She thought that maybe if she had been like Buffy, tried to not enjoy it so much, she'd be safer. From herself.
But seeing all these new slayers, with their joy in their strength – not in the killing part, but in the movement, in the feeling of doing what you were made to do – had reminded her that it wasn't enjoying the slaying that was bad, it was what you did with the slaying.
She should write inspirational posters, she really should.
But she'd found the joy again. When she moved so fast the vamp could hardly see her, or delivered an awesome high kick, or grabbed one vamp and whirled him so that he slammed into another one... she loved it, loved the feel of her muscles stretching and moving and pulling to their limits, loved the complete absorption in the moment, the clarity of it, the spur of the moment creativity, seeing what was around and using it and running and jumping and hitting and kicking. Oh, it was good, and she loved the vamps and loved the cemetery and loved her body that was so strong and fought so well and loved Giles and loved the stake and the moon and she could fight and fight forever.
That is, she loved it all until the very end. She staked a vamp and turned to find that there was only one left, which Giles was grappling with. She went over to help, and was just behind Giles' shoulder when he staked it himself. Then he whirled as he felt her right behind him, his stake up and ready and a look on his face like... well, it was almost scary, that look. Hell, it *was* scary. He looked like a killer, Giles did, and he only stopped the stake an inch away from her heart.
"Whoa!" she said, disturbed but trying not to show it. "Hey, Mr. Overenthusiastic, you could hurt someone with that." Giles immediately looked apologetic and lowered the stake, but it didn't erase the memory of the look in his eyes a second before. Faith was almost shaking, which was stupid because she could have easily stopped it before he'd hurt her. It wasn't the whole I-could-have-died thing, it was just... Giles shouldn't look like that.
"Sorry. I thought you were another vampire," he said. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, don't worry about it," she said after a second. She started walking to the car, and noticed that her hand actually *was* shaking now. When did she become the wuss of the century?
She didn't say much to Giles that night, or the next day as they drove to their next target. She put her headphones on and looked out the windows, or pretended to be asleep. She just... didn't want to talk to him.
When they got back into the car after a bathroom break in the middle of the afternoon, Giles just sat there, without starting the engine. Faith started getting out her CD player again, hoping to get the headphones on before he said anything.
"Faith," he said. Damn it!
"Yeah?" she said, going for casual and mostly succeeding. She started looking through her CD wallet for something new to listen to.
"Is everything all right?"
"Sure, everything's fine." She flipped a page.
"Because you haven't said a word all day."
"I'm just... you know, tired."
"You've pretended to be asleep three times already, and normally you're talking like mad."
Faith didn't know what to say, and closed her eyes for a second. She almost felt like she was going to start crying; there was that feeling of weight in her head, behind her eyes. She didn't even really know why.
"I just... I thought you were safe," she said finally. There was a pause.
"Oh," he said. He was staring straight out the windshield. He suddenly looked much older.
"And you're not," she said. "Are you." A statement, not a question.
"No. I suppose not." The silence in the car was like a physical thing, hovering over them.
"It's stupid, I'm sorry, no big deal," Faith said finally. "I just, you know, got a little rattled, but really, I'm over it."
"Please don't lie to me." Faith was taken up short and ducked her head.
"Okay," she said. They sat in silence.
"I'm sorry," he said finally. "I know what I was feeling last night at that moment and I understand how it could..." he waved a hand vaguely. The next sentence came out softer. "Sometimes it frightens me as well."
"Did you use to be...?" Faith trailed off, not knowing quite what the adjective was that would complete that sentence. He kind of half nodded.
"I used to be very... reckless. There was a group of us who would raise demons for the high, and other... well. It was a long time ago now. But it's still in me."
"Have you killed anybody?" Faith asked in a small voice.
"Yes," he said simply.
"So have I," she said, and immediately felt stupid because of course he knew that. But he didn't look like he thought she was stupid. He looked at her compassionately.
"I know," he said. After a moment he resumed staring out at the trees in front of the car. A man was walking his dog in the pet area of the rest stop, just to their left.
"How do you keep... how do you live with it?" Faith asked. She still felt like she might cry and her head was aching. He turned to look at her, his eyes vulnerable and weary, and he sort of shrugged helplessly.
"You just... do," he said. They looked at each other.
"Yeah."
After a long minute of silence, Giles started the car. The highway stretched for miles in front of them, long and straight and lonely.
*******************
TBC...