Spike stared at the retreating figure of Buffy until she vanished from even his impressive night vision. "You happy now, mate?" he asked Angel absently, wanting Buffy back as soon as he could no longer see her. After two years without her, he didn't want to waste anymore time. He had forever, but Buffy had been living on borrowed time since her first death, and there was no telling when any fight would be her last. That she had survived this long was a miracle to him. He wanted her back and he wanted her back now. "She's pissed at both of us."
As wrapped up in Buffy as he was, Angel's booted foot landing in his kidney took Spike completely off guard, and the force of it sent him to his knees. "No," said Angel grimly, before kicking him again, "I'm not happy. William."
As Spike struggled back to his feet, the better to fight Angel off, all he could think was shit... the sounds like Angelus. What's gone on since I left?
"You know how I am about my women," the familiar voice ground on, Spike's sire easily dodging the younger vamp's fist. "I'm not into the sharing." Angel, Angelus, whoever the hell he was, was vamped out, eyes yellow, fangs extended. "Buffy's mine, Spike, she's been mine since I touched her."
"She know who you are now?" demanded Spike as he finally landed a blow, plowing a fist in Angel's face. "She know that your humanity is slipping a bit these days?"
"Because you're the poster-boy for normality, Spike?" retorted Angel, as his fist landed in Spike's gut. "Look at you; I can taste the madness on you from here. What's the matter, boy? That soul you got not fitting so well these days?"
"No," grunted Spike as he twisted away before Angel could hit him again. "Bleeding hell, Angel, you think you could stop hitting me for half a second? I'm not gonna fight you."
Angel laughed as he wiped the blood away from under his nose. "Right, I'm bleeding cause of a stigmata."
"Old habits. I've got it under control now and I'm not gonna fight you." He wanted to, my god he wanted to, but he wouldn't. Two years he had spent, trying to become the perfect man for Buffy, to deserve the love she had offered him that last night. He wasn't going to ruin it now. He knew she loved Angel, he had always known it. God knows she had thrown it in his face often enough when she and Spike were first together. He would never win her back by bruising her boy. "C'mon, you poof, you know she wouldn't take kindly to you beating on me. That was always her job to do." He wanted to taunt him further, wanted to throw all his nights with Buffy into Angel's face. In the back of his mind, he could still hear the Angel of years ago, advising him on Drusilla. Take care of her, Spike. The way she touched me just now? I can tell when she's not satisfied. Well, Spike knew when his Buffy wasn't satisfied. The way she kissed him, came to him even when she had another vamp sleeping in her bed. Angel couldn't give her anything she needed, and everyone in this little triangle knew it. Even Angel knew it- why else would he be trying to pound Spike's face in? This was a farce, had been since the beginning.
Angel gave a last snarl, but reined it in. They both knew that Spike had a point. Buffy had never had any patience for testosterone driven displays of possession. "Admit it, Spike- that's all I want. I want you to admit that you only want her because I had her- have her. You've always been jealous of me."
Spike stared at Angel, amazed. Two years he had spent trying to get sane for the Slayer and this was what came of it. "That's the kind of credit you give the woman you say you love? That the only thing I might find to love in her is you? You're a raving paranoid, Angel. Always have been, always will be. You want to know why I love her? I love her because she's Buffy. That was enough for you and believe me, it's enough for me, too. There's no ulterior motive here, Angel. Once I fell in love with her, the only times I hurt her was when she wanted me to."
Whoops, wrong thing to say. Angel vamped out again, grabbed Spike by the throat. "That's not true. She's not like that."
Spike almost felt sorry for the poor bastard. That was the tone of desperation he heard in Angel's voice. And he knew that was desperation he had seen on Buffy's face when she first came outside tonight, right before everything went all wrong. Spike knew he was courting death saying anything else but if he could give Buffy anything, he would try to give her this. She was not the woman he left behind, and it didn't take a genius to see that even she missed that woman. The longer this night went on, the more Spike really started to think he shouldn't ever have left, no matter how nuts he was. This was a mess, and no two ways about it.
"Angel, mate, she is. She is. She's the slayer- she lives for the fight. In every aspect of her life. You thought Dru had a few little kinks in her tail? She didn't have a thing on Buffy. You're doing her a disservice, man, being all gentle and loverly. She wants more- she needs more. And I'm not trying to throw a wrench into whatever it is you to have managed to have. I'm a bastard, but you gotta believe I'm trying to do right by the girl. And yeah, I won't deny it's fun to turn the screw a bit into you. But the fact is, I messed up big time, leaving when I did. Left things wide open for you to take what I didn't value enough to keep. And if you're want she wants, maybe I should just back off and let you have her. But I won't let her go through whatever is left of her life with that look I saw on her face tonight. She needs more than you can possibly give her."
I am love's bitch, Spike thought angrily as soon as he finished talking. I'm handing her to him on a silver platter. That sanity obviously didn't take as well as he thought it had, for him to be babbling about ways to make the Slayer happy.
"This is how you love her? You don't have the faintest idea of what love is, Spike. You never did." Angel's voice was wound tight with pain. The Buffy Spike had fallen in love with was not the Buffy Angel cherished.
Spike pulled free of Angel's grip- it had loosened as Spike had explained some of the realities of Buffy to him. "You know that isn't true. I loved Dru, you know I did. And I love Buffy; I loved her even when I knew better, even when every part of me screamed that is wrong." Taking a pause, he stopped speaking and stared at Angel's face. He had known this man for centuries. "And I loved you. So don't start telling me now that I don't know what love is."