While Andruw took batting practice on the last day of spring training, the
Atlanta Aces watched him from the bullpen. Tom Glavine remarked, "You
know, that Andruw's been acting kind of strange lately."
"Really?" demanded Greg Maddux, making faces--he claimed they stretched his face muscles--and picking at his wedgie. "I hadn't noticed."
"Figures," muttered Tom.
"What?" Greg chuckled, pointing to something. "Look! A squirrel!"
"I know what you're saying," John Smoltz mused, stroking his greying beard. "Not hitting so good, is he?"
Just then, Javy Lopez walked out to the batting cage and said something to Andruw with a friendly smile. Andruw began to laugh, his face lighting up. "Ohhh!" exclaimed John and Tom in unison.
"What? I don't get it!" Greg interrupted, confused. "What are you oh-ing about?"
"We know what's wrong with Jones," John announced smugly.
"What? What's wrong with Chipper now? I thought he already got divorced," Greg babbled, then sighed in exasperation. "I'm lost."
John rolled his eyes and began to sing:
(Smoltz:) Where's all mah soul homies, Lemme hear ya'll flow homies,
(Glavine:) Hey Javy, go Javy, soul Javy, flow Javy, Hey Javy, go Javy, soul Javy, go Javy
He met Javy L down in old Turner Field
Struttin' his stuff in the cage
He said, "Hello, hey JLO, you wanna give it a go?"
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (Hey hey hey) Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here
Mocha Chocalata ya ya (oh yea) Creole Javy Lopezlade....
Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Voulez vous coucher avec moi?
(Smoltz:) yea yea yea yea
(Glavine:) He sat on the bench while Javy warmed up
Boy drank all that Lime Gatorade
On his warm up jacket is where he started to freak yeah
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (da-da-da) Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (here ohooh yea yeah) Mocha Choca lata ya ya (yea) Creole Javy Lopezlade....
Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir)? Voulez vous coucher avec moi?
(Smoltz:) He come through with the glove and the batting bag
J let him know he had a wife straight up the gate uh
He's an independent man, some mistake him for Ks
I'm sayin', why be straight when I can be gay
Disagree? Well that's you and I'm sorry, Imma keep playing this cat out like Atari
Wear ideal cleats get love from the fans
One bad ass center fielder from the Curacaoan dump
Hey homies, soul homies, betta get Javy's dough homies
He drinks booze with #8s in the glass by the case the meaning of Hispanic taste if you wanna Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya Mocha Chocalata ya ya? Creole Javy Lopezlade
One more time C'mon now
Javylade......oh baby Javylade! Javylade!
(Maddux, just now getting it:) hey Hey Hey!
Touch of his skin feeling waxed and smooth color of Andruw's untanned butt alright
Made the savage bat inside miss until he cried, 1, 2, 3, you're out!
(Glavine:) Now he's back home doin' 9 to 5
Sleepin' the tan flannel life
(Maddux:) But when he turns off to sleep memories creep, 1, 2, 3, 45678
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (da daeaea yea) Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (ooh) Mocha Choca lata ya ya (yea) Creole Javy Lopezlade
Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir) Voulez vous coucher avec moi (all my homies yea) Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir) Voulez vous coucher avec moi (C'Mon! uh)
(Cox:) Greg Maddux...(oh Leaeaa Oh)
Tom Glavine... (Lady Marmalade)
John Smoltz...(hey Hey! uh uh uh uh...)
Leo...(Oh Oh oooo)
Rot wailer baby...(baby)
Moulin Rouge... (Oh)
Bobby Cox here...
Spaniard Javy Lopezlade!
"Really?" demanded Greg Maddux, making faces--he claimed they stretched his face muscles--and picking at his wedgie. "I hadn't noticed."
"Figures," muttered Tom.
"What?" Greg chuckled, pointing to something. "Look! A squirrel!"
"I know what you're saying," John Smoltz mused, stroking his greying beard. "Not hitting so good, is he?"
Just then, Javy Lopez walked out to the batting cage and said something to Andruw with a friendly smile. Andruw began to laugh, his face lighting up. "Ohhh!" exclaimed John and Tom in unison.
"What? I don't get it!" Greg interrupted, confused. "What are you oh-ing about?"
"We know what's wrong with Jones," John announced smugly.
"What? What's wrong with Chipper now? I thought he already got divorced," Greg babbled, then sighed in exasperation. "I'm lost."
John rolled his eyes and began to sing:
(Smoltz:) Where's all mah soul homies, Lemme hear ya'll flow homies,
(Glavine:) Hey Javy, go Javy, soul Javy, flow Javy, Hey Javy, go Javy, soul Javy, go Javy
He met Javy L down in old Turner Field
Struttin' his stuff in the cage
He said, "Hello, hey JLO, you wanna give it a go?"
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (Hey hey hey) Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here
Mocha Chocalata ya ya (oh yea) Creole Javy Lopezlade....
Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Voulez vous coucher avec moi?
(Smoltz:) yea yea yea yea
(Glavine:) He sat on the bench while Javy warmed up
Boy drank all that Lime Gatorade
On his warm up jacket is where he started to freak yeah
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (da-da-da) Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (here ohooh yea yeah) Mocha Choca lata ya ya (yea) Creole Javy Lopezlade....
Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir)? Voulez vous coucher avec moi?
(Smoltz:) He come through with the glove and the batting bag
J let him know he had a wife straight up the gate uh
He's an independent man, some mistake him for Ks
I'm sayin', why be straight when I can be gay
Disagree? Well that's you and I'm sorry, Imma keep playing this cat out like Atari
Wear ideal cleats get love from the fans
One bad ass center fielder from the Curacaoan dump
Hey homies, soul homies, betta get Javy's dough homies
He drinks booze with #8s in the glass by the case the meaning of Hispanic taste if you wanna Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya Mocha Chocalata ya ya? Creole Javy Lopezlade
One more time C'mon now
Javylade......oh baby Javylade! Javylade!
(Maddux, just now getting it:) hey Hey Hey!
Touch of his skin feeling waxed and smooth color of Andruw's untanned butt alright
Made the savage bat inside miss until he cried, 1, 2, 3, you're out!
(Glavine:) Now he's back home doin' 9 to 5
Sleepin' the tan flannel life
(Maddux:) But when he turns off to sleep memories creep, 1, 2, 3, 45678
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (da daeaea yea) Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (ooh) Mocha Choca lata ya ya (yea) Creole Javy Lopezlade
Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir) Voulez vous coucher avec moi (all my homies yea) Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir) Voulez vous coucher avec moi (C'Mon! uh)
(Cox:) Greg Maddux...(oh Leaeaa Oh)
Tom Glavine... (Lady Marmalade)
John Smoltz...(hey Hey! uh uh uh uh...)
Leo...(Oh Oh oooo)
Rot wailer baby...(baby)
Moulin Rouge... (Oh)
Bobby Cox here...
Spaniard Javy Lopezlade!