Andruw dreaded the game the next day because he couldn't stand to look at
Javy. He brought along the picture he stole from the Lopez house, planning
on returning it secretly by slipping it into Javy's locker. When he got
there, Javy's locker was empty and Steve Torrealba was dragging a duffel
bag and walking towards Javy's locker. "What are you doing?" Andruw
demanded.
Steve glared at him; he was a minor league catcher who was constantly brought up and sent back down weeks later. "I've been promoted again, and I don't want to hear the stupid jokes!" he snapped.
"But why?" Andruw persisted, confused.
Vinny rushed into the locker room. "Andruw! I've been looking all over for you!" he panted. "Javy's been traded!"
"What?" shrieked Andruw, going as pale as a Curacaoan can.
"He's been sent to the Cubs in exchange for Mark Bellhorn and Scott Chiasson. And a first round draft pick," Vinny explained gently. "Andruw, I'm so sorry--"
"Just leave me," Andruw ordered through clenched teeth. "You too, Torrealba."
Steve glared at him before being prodded out by Vinny. Andruw collapsed onto the floor next to Javy's locker and pulled out the picture of Javy. Quietly, Bobby Cox snuck in; he was still carrying his fiddle. Staring outside at the two new Braves and despising them already, Andruw could see Gary and Vinny laugh affectionately together. "I can't take this heartbreak much longer," he thought gloomily, beginning to sing of his pain, accompanied by Bobby's fiddle:
I follow the guys
Can't stand their wives
When will I begin to shower again?
One day I'll stop being gay
Leave all this to the other Braves
What more could your hate do for me
When will love be kind to me
Why live life from team to team
And dread the day when trading begins
One day I'll stop being gay
Leave all this to the other Braves
Why live life from team to team
And dread the day when trading begins
One day I'll stop being gay
Stop...being....gay
* * * * *
For the next few weeks, Andruw lost much of his focus and spiraled even further downwards. His attitude worsened when he arrived at Turner Field to see the Cubs as their opponents. "Why didn't anyone warn me?" he wondered angrily, heading through the locker room and into the dugout.
Rain was pouring down onto the field, but Andruw didn't care. He stood behind the batter's box, where the catcher would normally squat. Pulling out his now-worn picture of Javy, he stared at it as tears rolled down his cheeks. Chipper Jones, observing from a distance, leaned over the dugout railing to watch.
Andruw whispered to himself, "This story is about love. The catcher I lo--loved was traded."
Chipper felt inspired and began to sing:
There was a boy
A very hot
Attractive boy
They say he defended
Very well, very well
Against New York and Philly
A little tan and tight of ass
But cold-hearted was he
And then one day
One magic day
He played my team
While we spoke
Of many themes
Ropes and laserbeams
This he said to me
"The greatest thing
That happened to me
Was just to fade and
Be traded in return."
Andruw noticed Javy laughing with Jon Lieber (the Cubs' starting pitcher) and whispered, "I love you." Of course, Javy neither heard him nor noticed him. Finally, the rain stopped and Andruw took his place on the field with the rest of the Braves. Fortunately, no fly balls were hit to Andruw as he stared into the Cubs' dugout--Javy batted sixth in the order.
Remembering his recent struggles, Andruw dreaded his at-bat; however, like all bad things, it eventually arrived. As he took his practice swings, his attention was suddenly drawn towards the third baseman. The sun broke through the clouds as Andruw's jaw dropped in awe. He couldn't describe it, but a wonderful feeling flowed through his veins, inspiring him to sing:
(Andruw:) Never knew I could feel like this
Like I never saw Javy Lopez before
I want to be caught inside your glove
Every pitch I love you more and more
Listen to my swing, can you hear it connects
Telling me to hit you every ground ball
Third basemen may change, Chipper to Ken
But I love you until the end of time
Come who may, I am gay, I will love you until my dying day
The object of his affection smiled back and sang an answering verse:
(The third baseman:) Suddenly the pitch seems such a perfect strike
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect spin
(Together:) Suddenly my at-bat doesn't seem such a waste
(The third baseman:) It all revolves around you
(Together:) And there's no pitcher's mound too high
No infield too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there in your dugout
Storm clouds may gather
But sparks will fly
(Andruw:) But I love you
(The third baseman:) I love you
(Andruw:) Until the end....of....time
(The third baseman:) Until the end of time
(Together:) Come who may, I am gay, I will love you, until my dying day
Oh, come who may, we are gay
I will love you, I will love you
(The third baseman:) Suddenly the pitch seems such a perfect strike
(Together:) Come who may, we are gay, I will love you, until my dying day
By now, the entire crowd as well as both teams were thoroughly confused and shocked. Analy, who attended mostly to protect Javy from Andruw, snapped, "Finally that gay guy found someone besides my Javy!"
The people around her glared at her. "Honestly, lady, what's your problem with Andruw?" demanded a short woman with curly blonde hair.
"Who died and made you boss?" Analy retorted.
"Hey, I'm the girlfriend of the best pitcher ever. Your husband's just a washed up office boy who married way too early!" the woman came back.
"Who's your boyfriend?" Analy asked, suddenly polite.
"Greg Maddux. I'm Susan Wood."
"I'm Analy Lopez," Analy replied with a friendly smile, shaking hands. "So how come I haven't met you before?"
"It's a long story," Susan said, sighing. "I'll tell you later."
Steve glared at him; he was a minor league catcher who was constantly brought up and sent back down weeks later. "I've been promoted again, and I don't want to hear the stupid jokes!" he snapped.
"But why?" Andruw persisted, confused.
Vinny rushed into the locker room. "Andruw! I've been looking all over for you!" he panted. "Javy's been traded!"
"What?" shrieked Andruw, going as pale as a Curacaoan can.
"He's been sent to the Cubs in exchange for Mark Bellhorn and Scott Chiasson. And a first round draft pick," Vinny explained gently. "Andruw, I'm so sorry--"
"Just leave me," Andruw ordered through clenched teeth. "You too, Torrealba."
Steve glared at him before being prodded out by Vinny. Andruw collapsed onto the floor next to Javy's locker and pulled out the picture of Javy. Quietly, Bobby Cox snuck in; he was still carrying his fiddle. Staring outside at the two new Braves and despising them already, Andruw could see Gary and Vinny laugh affectionately together. "I can't take this heartbreak much longer," he thought gloomily, beginning to sing of his pain, accompanied by Bobby's fiddle:
I follow the guys
Can't stand their wives
When will I begin to shower again?
One day I'll stop being gay
Leave all this to the other Braves
What more could your hate do for me
When will love be kind to me
Why live life from team to team
And dread the day when trading begins
One day I'll stop being gay
Leave all this to the other Braves
Why live life from team to team
And dread the day when trading begins
One day I'll stop being gay
Stop...being....gay
* * * * *
For the next few weeks, Andruw lost much of his focus and spiraled even further downwards. His attitude worsened when he arrived at Turner Field to see the Cubs as their opponents. "Why didn't anyone warn me?" he wondered angrily, heading through the locker room and into the dugout.
Rain was pouring down onto the field, but Andruw didn't care. He stood behind the batter's box, where the catcher would normally squat. Pulling out his now-worn picture of Javy, he stared at it as tears rolled down his cheeks. Chipper Jones, observing from a distance, leaned over the dugout railing to watch.
Andruw whispered to himself, "This story is about love. The catcher I lo--loved was traded."
Chipper felt inspired and began to sing:
There was a boy
A very hot
Attractive boy
They say he defended
Very well, very well
Against New York and Philly
A little tan and tight of ass
But cold-hearted was he
And then one day
One magic day
He played my team
While we spoke
Of many themes
Ropes and laserbeams
This he said to me
"The greatest thing
That happened to me
Was just to fade and
Be traded in return."
Andruw noticed Javy laughing with Jon Lieber (the Cubs' starting pitcher) and whispered, "I love you." Of course, Javy neither heard him nor noticed him. Finally, the rain stopped and Andruw took his place on the field with the rest of the Braves. Fortunately, no fly balls were hit to Andruw as he stared into the Cubs' dugout--Javy batted sixth in the order.
Remembering his recent struggles, Andruw dreaded his at-bat; however, like all bad things, it eventually arrived. As he took his practice swings, his attention was suddenly drawn towards the third baseman. The sun broke through the clouds as Andruw's jaw dropped in awe. He couldn't describe it, but a wonderful feeling flowed through his veins, inspiring him to sing:
(Andruw:) Never knew I could feel like this
Like I never saw Javy Lopez before
I want to be caught inside your glove
Every pitch I love you more and more
Listen to my swing, can you hear it connects
Telling me to hit you every ground ball
Third basemen may change, Chipper to Ken
But I love you until the end of time
Come who may, I am gay, I will love you until my dying day
The object of his affection smiled back and sang an answering verse:
(The third baseman:) Suddenly the pitch seems such a perfect strike
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect spin
(Together:) Suddenly my at-bat doesn't seem such a waste
(The third baseman:) It all revolves around you
(Together:) And there's no pitcher's mound too high
No infield too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there in your dugout
Storm clouds may gather
But sparks will fly
(Andruw:) But I love you
(The third baseman:) I love you
(Andruw:) Until the end....of....time
(The third baseman:) Until the end of time
(Together:) Come who may, I am gay, I will love you, until my dying day
Oh, come who may, we are gay
I will love you, I will love you
(The third baseman:) Suddenly the pitch seems such a perfect strike
(Together:) Come who may, we are gay, I will love you, until my dying day
By now, the entire crowd as well as both teams were thoroughly confused and shocked. Analy, who attended mostly to protect Javy from Andruw, snapped, "Finally that gay guy found someone besides my Javy!"
The people around her glared at her. "Honestly, lady, what's your problem with Andruw?" demanded a short woman with curly blonde hair.
"Who died and made you boss?" Analy retorted.
"Hey, I'm the girlfriend of the best pitcher ever. Your husband's just a washed up office boy who married way too early!" the woman came back.
"Who's your boyfriend?" Analy asked, suddenly polite.
"Greg Maddux. I'm Susan Wood."
"I'm Analy Lopez," Analy replied with a friendly smile, shaking hands. "So how come I haven't met you before?"
"It's a long story," Susan said, sighing. "I'll tell you later."