A/n-I am incredibly sorry for the lack of updates. I'm going to totally mess up the order of the next scenes so I can start going in movie order after this chapter. (The next scene might have to be rated PG for mild violence.)
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(Night:
The orcs stop, Merry and Pippin are dropped to the ground.)
Orc: We're not going no further, 'til we've had a breather.
Lead Orc: Get a fire going.
(The orcs go into the woods to get wood, they start chopping on trees.)
Gonff: I never want to ride on an orc again.
Merry: Well somehow, I don't think our dagger squad was very successful.
(Groaning can be heard from the woods as the orcs chop on the trees.)
Pippin: What's making that noise?
Merry: It's the trees.
Gonff: Oh really.
Merry: Really
Gonff: Well instead of having conversations with trees, I'm going to escape. They don't call me Prince of Mousethieves for nothing.
Merry: That was something you made up your self.
(Gonff ignores him and chews through his bonds.)
Gonff: Pass me a dagger.
Pippin: This is our last dagger. (Gonff throws it in the air, catches it and uses it to cut through their bonds.)
Gonff: Heh heh
Merry: Show off.
Orc 1: I'm starvin'. We ain't had nothin' but maggoty bread for three stinkin' days.
Gonff: *whispering* I feel sorry for him.
Vermin: What about that mouse? He's fresh?
Gonff: WHAT! What about Merry and Pippin?
Merry and Pippin: GONFF!!!
Lead orc: They are not for eating.
Lead vermin: Well who made you in charge?
(The orcs and vermin draw out their weapons and start eyeing each other.)
Pippin: Come on. Let's go.
(They start to run but are caught by an orc.)
Gonff: Die, you disgusting mutant elf! *Punches the orc in the nose and stabs him with a dagger. The orc falls back and is trampled by an oncoming rider. Pippin rolls to one side, narrowly avoiding the horse)
Pippin: That was close.
Gonff: Lets go into Fangorn.
Merry: You fool! That would be suicidal.
Gonff: Die now, die later. Die now, die later… I choose the second. Let's go
(They run for the forest. A vermin grabs Merry's belt and Merry undoes the belt and runs away.)
Vermin: Stupid hobbit.
Merry: *over his shoulder* Stupid oversized rat!
(They run into Fangorn forest and hide under the roots of a tree.)
Pippin:
Did we lose 'em? I think we lost 'em.
(The orc and a rat comes through the trees.)
Orc: I'm gonna rip off your filthy little heads.
Rat: No, I will.
Merry: Not again.
(Two daggers fall out of the sky. Merry and Pippin pick them up and Gonff pulls out the one he had already.)
Gonff: Hey thanks, invisible author! Now lets show them what two hobbits and a Redwall mouse can do.
Pippin: Um… good question. What can two hobbits and a mouse do?
Gonff: We can…um…climb a tree.
Merry: Good idea. (They climb up the nearest tree.)
Gonff: I think he's gone. (The vermin grabs Gonff and drags him down from the tree, landing on top of him.)
Gonff: Hey, haven't I killed you before in Mossflower.
Vermin: Fan-fiction.
Gonff: Oh yeah. (Punches the vermin and knocks him out.)
Pippin: Go Gonff! (The tree blinks his eyes.)
Merry and Pippin: Ahhhhhhhh!!! Gonff, run!
(Treebeard): (Picks up Gonff) Little orcs…and an oversized mouse.
Gonff: HEY! Watch who you call oversized!!! Wait…how is a tree talking?
Treebeard: I am no tree. I am an ent.
Merry: A tree herder. A shepherd of the forest.
Pippin: Don't
talk to it Merry, don't encourage it.
Treebeard: Treebeard some call me.
Pippin: And whose side are you on?
Treebeard: Side? I am nobody's side, because nobody's on my side, little orc.
Nobody cares for the woods anymore.
Merry: We're not orcs, we're hobbits.
Gonff: And I'm a mouse of Redwall.
Treebeard: Hobbits, Redwall, sounds like orc mischief to me.
Gonff: YOU FOOL! How dare you call Redwall orc mischief
Treebeard: They come with fire, they come with axes, gnawing, biting, breaking, hacking, burning. Destroyers and usurpers. Curse them!
Gonff: Well do we look like we're carrying fire and axes?
Merry: Um… what he means is we're NOT ORCS!
Gonff: And I'm NOT AN OVERSIZED MOUSE!
Treebeard:
Maybe you are, and maybe you aren't. The white wizard will know.
Pippin: (Whispered) The white wizard?
Merry: Saruman.
(Treebeard drops the hobbits onto the ground, they look up and see the white
wizard.)
Gonff: No I think that's just Gandalf.
(Next scene will cover Mariel, Frodo, Dandin and Sam at the Black Gate and then I'll go by movie order)
