Title: Because You Smiled
Author: La Mort Cramoisi (Same person, duh, new name, yay!)
Pairing: JP/SS, implied SB/RL
Rating: R
Genre: ANGST! Supreme angst! Forgive me.
Summary: Remus. Yeah. Remus. I don't know if I like this…actually, I know I don't like this….but it's been so long…soo…I might add an alternate version of this chapter later. If you want it, do ask.
AN: Yeah, this was only gonna be a one go story. But you know how it goes! Encourage me, please! Yes, I am begging for reviews. I have no shame. Also, will anyone interested in beta-ing a non-slash AU story please contact me ASAP? I'm really cooking on that one.
Disclaimer: Gah, I hate these things. I own nothing (but I really wish I did), J.K. Rowling, the WB, and all of her publishing companies own it all. I own nothing. Nada. Not even enough to be worth suing. Get the point?
Because You Smiled, Chapter Four: Immorality

Remus


I sighed heavily. I did not need the extra work. But anything for the Order, right? So there I was, standing outside James's rooms to tell him that Albus needed.something. He hadn't said what. No…wait. He had said that James would know. That's what he had said. But there I was.

James had a tricky door. I knew the secret, but few did. The door was keyed to certain people, and whoever it was keyed to could enter freely. Most people thought it worked on a password system like the other doors. James wasn't stupid. He, of all people, knew all too well that passwords could be found out. So in I went.

And got the shock of my life. James was holding you down on his bed, and you were panting and heaving underneath him. It wasn't, however, the kind of panting and heaving I was comfortable with you doing under James. It was the kind of panting and heaving Lily was supposed to be doing under James. Lily. But not you. You were both fully clothed, and he was doing something I recognized to your neck. I recognized it, in fact, because he spent half of our seventh year watching Sirius do it to me.

He bit you a bit hard and you arched up, eyes half open. You saw me then. Not knowing what else to do, I fled. I flat out ran for my life. If you didn't kill me, James would make me wish you had. This was a secret I did not want to be the keeper of.

I heard James cursing behind me, and I could see him looking between us in my minds eye. I felt a kind of bitter victory. So he swam on both sides of the river, huh? Take that, conventional wizarding society. But still I ran.

This was a dangerous game I was playing. True, I could run faster than most, and longer than many, but… an animagus has the characteristics of the animal they transform into. Also to be truthful, James could probably run longer than I could. He could probably run through a brick wall if he wanted to, since he was in peak physical condition, unlike myself. In other words, I was in some deep shit. Hooray for me, huh?

I ran for quite some time, until I got to Hogsmeade. I didn't think he was following me anymore. So I headed back to the castle, sticking to the forest beside the path instead of walking on it. That's when I saw I was catching up to him. It would best to stay back, I know. But I was curious. So I crept behind him, ever the careful hunter, ever the wolf. I saw you coming up the path towards us. I stopped. He stopped a minute after me.

"Did you get him?"

"Don't be stupid, does it look like I got him?"

"No…I'm sorry."

"You should be."

"How did he get in?"

"The door's keyed to him. He can get in whenever he wants."

"…Oh. But then."

"Yeah, it's keyed to you too."

"Uh…James I."

He pulled you into an embrace. You immediately nuzzled down into his neck. This wasn't a casual fling. This wasn't new to you. This wasn't typical Snape behaviour! You weren't supposed to be affectionate! Snarky, cruel….evil even! But not affectionate! All of my thoughts were stilled again, because you looked up and kissed him. But it wasn't a possessive kiss. It was a gentle, submissive, 'may I' kiss. So this was it. He had you trained, huh?

"Mmm...you smell good."

"Smell good?"

"Hnn. I like it."

"I stink. I've got to go home later. I can't go home smelling like this. Lily would throw a tizzy fit."

"Hm. Come back to the room. You can wear mine."

"Wear yours?'

James raised a slender and inquisitive eyebrow. He looked….he looked. Oh, I love Sirius, but James is just…just…mmm. Yeah, just…mmm. Yeah.

"…Fine. Yeah, I'll wear yours. Come on."

And then you both turned and walked back towards Hogwarts, chatting about something. He was laughing and you were nodding your head. Whatever you were talking about, it must have been something you liked. You really…came alive, talking to James. As though you were only half alive when you were away. You were cynical and cold when he wasn't with you. Mind you, I think you've always been cynical, but you seemed…more at ease with my friend by your side. Less at odds with the world.

I turned, once I couldn't hear your happy voices anymore, and I walked off in the direction of Hogsmeade again. A little into main street, I was grabbed from behind. My whole body tensed, I was ready to fight. Ready to kick some major arse, when.

"Hey, Remus! Calm down! 'S just me. Just me. Shhhh."

Every muscle in my body went from super tightly strung to…well, mush. Pudding. A giant Remus-shaped gelatine mould. Take your pick.

"Sirius! You scared me."

"I know I did, love. You were ready to make me eat mud."

"Sorry."

"'S okay." Sirius shivered. "'S windy out here. Let's go someplace. How about the Three Broomsticks?"

"Sounds good."

We stomped off to the Three Broomsticks, hoping our table in the corner would be free. Sure enough, it was. Rosmerta greeted us with a big smile and gestured on over to our table. We sat down happily and soon she was bustling over with sandwiches and mulled mead.

"The usual, I presume boys?"

Sirius smiled and laughed. Gods, he's breathtaking when he laughs. "Oh, 'Merta! You're too good to us, you know! You'll have us rogues spoiled to our wits end!"

"That's the idea, Sirius-love, that's the idea. Someone has to domesticate you, you know. I don't think poor Remus is up to the task."

I blushed right up to the roots of my hair. Maybe past that. My scalp might have been blushing too, I was so red.

"At any rate, boys, I thought I should warn you. We've got one of those preachy Ministry types in here today. Says homosexual relationships never last."

"No!" Sirius looked appalled.

"That's what he's been saying. Says you're only looking for sex, and you're all plagues on society and you should be put down."

Sirius's face was a mask of determination. "Oh does he, now."

I don't like it when Sirius gets that look on his face. It usually leads to me being made a public spectacle of. This time wasn't any different. Sirius jumped out of his chair, and climbed onto the table.

"Excuse, me, excuse me! Ah, good! Can you all hear me? Fantastic! I would like to introduce all of you lovely ladies and gentleman to my beautiful lover, Mr. Remus Lupin."

Oh, yes. Just let the earth open up and swallow me now. Please.

"I…I really wanted to ask you this in a more private place, Remus, but… "

Sirius jumped down off the table and grabbed my shoulder. I opened my mouth to curse him to the nether reaches of the Underworld…but I looked into his eyes and my mind just went blank. As usual.

"Remus Lupin, my most beautiful of friends and companions, whom I have loved since seeing you on platform 9 and ¾ when we were eleven….will you be my bond mate?"

Okaaaaaaay….waait. Did I say my mind was blank before? Well it was nothing to this blankness. This was the epitome of blankness. The image of blankness. If you picked up a dictionary and looked up blank, you would have seen a picture of me.

I stood and took a step forward. Then I promptly collapsed into Siri's arms. I stood there and nuzzled into his neck.

"Does this mean yes?"

"No."

"What?!"

I picked an empty tankard up off of our table. Then I proceeded to beat Sirius furiously about the head with it.

"It means how DARE you humiliate me like this in public, Si-ri-us O-ri-on Black! And." I dropped my tankard. "Of course I will, you big loveable moron!"

Rosmerta burst out laughing. We both turned to look at her.

"What?!"

"Ohhh." She wiped tears of mirth from her eyes. "You two act like an old married couple already!"

Sirius and I turned to look at each other, blinked, then started laughing hysterically ourselves. A while later, I was sitting almost in Sirius's lap in our corner, and 'Merta just kept the wine coming. I snuggled up to his neck and inhaled deeply. Gods, I loved his scent.

"Hnnn, Siri, you smell so good."

He laughed. "You will too, if you keep rubbing all of my cologne off!"

Lily walked in at about that moment, and she rushed over to our table. Best way I know of to ruin the mood.

"Can you two help me? It's kind of important. I need to know about some cologne."

Sirius smiled. "Yeah, sure."

Way to go, Sirius. Ruin the mood some more. At any rate, mood ruined or not, I'm sure you can guess what happened from there.