Lillian, Sweet Lillian


Chapter Four


An Evening Excursion



I was permitted to go back to school a few days after my "accident." That's how Papa and Emily referred to it. Papa told Mamma he wanted to make sure I was well enough before I returned to school, but all he truly cared about was keeping the Booth name as pristine as possible. We didn't talk about what had gone on that night. Papa never attempted to apologize for his actions and I never asked him to. Life returned to normal at The Meadows.

Mamma began to throw herself into planning for a grand barbeque that was to be held a week from Friday. Emily, who usually detested Mamma's extravagant gatherings, said nothing. It was a chance for Mamma to flit around like the social butterfly she was and for Papa and Emily to keep up appearances. They knew that if our neighbors felt that something was amiss in our home, their eyes would be upon us.

As the time for the barbecue drew nearer, Mamma grew increasingly excited. At dinner two days before the barbeque, Mamma was chatting up a storm about the festivities.

"We'll invite everyone. The more the merrier!" she sang, her voice like wind chimes, clear and sweet. "And there will be lots of food. Wonderful food!"

I smiled at Mamma's excitement. Papa grunted and Emily scowled. I knew how Emily felt about having guests in the house. Whenever we did have guests, Emily was constantly following them around or rushing them out. Emily was wary of everyone, except, of course, the minister

It was then that Mamma announced that the Thompsons were to be invited as well.

"Won't that be nice for you, Lillian?" Mamma smiled and took a long, quiet sip of her iced tea. "You and Niles will have some time to talk. I know how much the two of you love to spend time together."

Emily smirked. Her mind was working overtime, the wheels spinning quickly. That I could see, plain as day. I just knew she was thinking of something to tell Papa. She would accuse us of doing bad things, things we were innocent of.

After a few moments of awkward silence, I cleared my throat and nodded. "Yes, Mamma," I said. "That would be very nice."

That smirk never left Emily's sullen face.

Talk of Mamma's grand barbecue spread like wildfire throughout town. I couldn't help growing a little excited at the thought of it. The next day at school, I pulled Niles aside and asked him if he would be able to attend, but I made sure to stay right in the schoolyard. I would not make the same mistake twice.

"It sounds like fun," Niles said. "But I'm not sure I can be near your Papa without wanting to thrash him on the spot. As if he were imagining Papa standing before him, Niles clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles turned white. His body was rigid with quiet anger.

"Niles, please. What's done is done."

I hated that I was being so passive. After all, weren't the Booths supposed to be a proud family? The Booths always held their heads up high. The Booths were always proud and walked tall.

Then I remembered. I wasn't really a Booth.

Niles shook his head. "I can't forgive as easily as you can, Lillian. I'm sorry." He laughed but it sounded forced.

I was desperate to change the subject, so I smiled brightly. "Mamma says there will be lots of good food and music. Maybe you and I could dance," I propositioned him shyly. "I'd be the envy of every girl there."

Niles turned pink with embarrassment, but there was something in his face that told me he was pleased as well.

"No, Lillian. With you on my arm, I'd be the envy of every boy there."

Niles' comment made me blush furiously. I turned an even darker shade of pink. He laughed. When he did, he laughed from the heart.

Guests began arriving even before the sun set. Some brought food to share and others brought things like whiskey. Papa always greeted those guests very warmly, then escorted them and their liquor to a seat.

Mamma looked beautiful. Her gown was the color of the sky just before sunset, a warm, soft peach. Her hair was twisted away from her face with two pearl combs, and she wore two simple diamond studs in her ears. Her eyes were wide and luminous, as if she were seeing everything for the first time. Her many friends surrounded her, all in their finest, but none of them looked as lovely as Mamma did.

"When is Niles coming?" Eugenia's voice brought me back to reality. She crossed her arms across her chest. "He is coming, isn't he?"

"Of course he is," I insisted, patting Eugenia's hand reassuringly. The way she had taken to Niles was amusing to me. Every time she saw him, she sat up a little straighter and a little blush would creep into otherwise pale cheeks because she lived her life through me.

It was then that I saw him. Niles, looking the handsomest I had ever seen him. My heart began to thump joyfully in my chest as he came closer to me. He broke away from his family and rushed over.

"I told you I'd be here," he said, smiling first at me, then at Eugenia. Then he straightened and held out his hand.

"Miss Lillian," he said, his voice deeper than usual. I only gazed at him until I realized what Niles was doing. With a little laugh, I extended my hand. He caught it and brought it to his lips.

"I wanted to show you what it means to be a real southern gentlemen," he whispered to me.

Niles turned to Eugenia. Her smile was so wide, she looked as if she were ready to burst into peals of giggles on the spot.

"Miss Eugenia," Niles said, continuing with his game. Eugenia didn't hesitate to give Niles her hand. When he kissed it, she blushed a little and sat up as straight as she could.

"You look beautiful, Lillian," Niles whispered to me. Eugenia grinned broadly as she watched the two of us.

"I–I've never seen you look more handsome, Niles," I replied awkwardly.

Niles looked over at Eugenia, who seemed to be waiting for more. He pulled me away.

"Lillian, I have an idea. Why don't we go to the Magic Pond? You and I...and Eugenia, of course."

Quickly, I glanced over to where Papa stood with his friends, a glass of whiskey already in his hand. Would he notice us? Would he even care once the liquor took hold?

"Niles, I don't know," I replied, clutching his hand tightly. "I'm not sure we'd be able to get away."

"No one will even notice we're gone, Lillian. We won't be missed. Your mamma's so preoccupied and your papa, well, he'll be drunk before the sun's gone down."

I wanted to say yes. Oh, how I wanted to say yes! The words were there, but they wouldn't come out. Finally, I managed to say something.

"Eugenia. We'll have to bundle her up as best we can. Even though it's nice right now, it could get chilly later."

Niles' face lit up and he quickly shed his jacket. I mimicked and slipped out of my button down sweater. Eugenia gave us strange looks as we began to bundle her in our clothing, but her smile never faded.

"What are you doing? Where are we going, Lillian?"

I concentrated on helping Eugenia into my sweater, then fastening the pearly buttons. When I was finished, I noticed how large the sweater was on her. The sleeves fell past her fingertips and it sagged, but I knew she would be warm. Niles' jacket was draped over her thin shoulders and I fastened the first few buttons. When I was satisfied, I stepped away from her.

"Where are we going?" Eugenia asked me again, her eyes bright and inquisitive.

"The Magic Pond," I replied, my voice hushed. "But we have to be careful."

"Oh!" she cried, excitement evident in her voice. "The Magic Pond?"

Niles smiled and nodded. Eugenia had only been there once before. Niles had carried Eugenia to the water so she could make a wish. It was because of Eugenia's wish that Niles and I shared our first kiss. The events of that day were still vivid in my mind.

Niles helped me push Eugenia around the side of our house and all the way to the front. Pushing her wheelchair down the driveway always made me nervous, so I kept my hands wrapped around the handles.

Slipping off, especially to be with Niles after what happened with Papa and Emily frightened me, and yet, I wasn't shaken enough to turn around and run back home. We had come too far, and poor Eugenia would be heartbroken. I had to admit to myself that I was not acting with only Eugenia in mind. The thought of going to the Magic Pond with Niles, even with Eugenia tagging along was exciting. I knew that whatever happened there would stay with Eugenia. It would be our secret.

I couldn't help fussing over Eugenia, once in a while, pausing to make sure that my sweater was still securely fastened and that she was warm.

"Lillian, please," she sighed, brushing my hands away. "The sun is still out, and there's a warm breeze. I'll be fine."

The walk back to the Thompson's property was a long one, but oddly, Eugenia didn't tire like she usually did. She sat up very straight and in my loose-fitting sweater with Niles' jacket now draped haphazardly about her shoulders, she looked like some kind of rag tag queen. Niles helped pass the time by mimicking Emily's walk. He stood very tall and took long strides with his shoulders squared and his nose stuck up in the air. Eugenia howled with laughter until she began to cough and I had to tell her to settle down or we would have to turn back.

The Magic Pond was tucked in a secluded corner of the Thompson's property. The pond was small, cool and clear. So clear, we could see all the little fish skirting around under the placid surface. The warm evening breeze blew gently, warming our faces and moving our hair about, like a soft caress from Mother Nature herself.

Niles helped me find a nice spot to park Eugenia. Her eyes were so bright and her smile was wide. Being outdoors always cheered her up, but the Magic Pond was really something spectacular to her. She sat with her little hands folded neatly in her lap.

"The pond sure does look nice tonight, seeing as it's so stuffy" she said, her cornflower blue eyes full of mischief. "Niles, have you ever been swimming in the pond?"

Niles rubbed at the back of his neck, thinking. "Well, once or twice," he said at length. "But I used to come here alone, and swimming's no fun with no one to swim with."

"I'm sure Lillian would swim with you," Eugenia sang. "You would, wouldn't you, Lillian?"

Before I even had a chance to answer, Niles was prodding me as well.

"A swim sounds nice, Lillian," he said. "How about it?"

I didn't answer him right away, but I was inclined to tell him no. I didn't have anything suitable for swimming, Mamma would be furious with me if I wrecked my dress, and swimming in my underclothes wasn't an option. I shook my head.

"No, Niles. I can't, but you go ahead. I'll just watch with Eugenia."

Niles stooped to unlace his shoes. "Are you sure? It is a little warm. A swim would do you good."

I shook my head again, my resistance slowly slipping away. Niles often told me about all the wishes he had made by dipping his hands into the water. By swimming in it, would all our wishes and dreams come true?

"Well," said Niles after a long while, "if you won't come swimming with me, I guess I'll just have to go alone."

Niles headed toward the pond, his feet bare and his pants rolled up as far as they would go. He dipped one foot into the water and then waded in, taking care not to disturb the fish. I watched as he swirled his hands around, creating ripples and allowing the fish to zig zag through his fingers. I threw caution to the wind then, and removed my shiny black shoes and my socks. The grass felt cool and soft beneath my feet.

"Oh, so you've changed your mind," Niles teased me, smiling. "I thought that you would."

"I did," I replied. "Only because you looked so lonely."

I waded out slowly until the water reached my hips. The fish swam every which way, darting around. Their little fins tickled my legs and feet.

Niles and I waded for a while, occasionally splashing one another gently. Eugenia's laughter was our reward. Soon the sun was beginning to dip and we knew our time at the Magic Pond was growing short. We wanted to savor the last few minutes, so Niles and I staggered out of the pond, dripping wet and breathless. I collapsed on the bank beside Eugenia.

Among the many, many trees that surrounded the pond, there was one in particular which stood out. It was by far the largest. Its roots formed a gnarled little seat at the base and there were lots of thick branches which stuck out at different places. Niles gazed at it so intently, I knew this tree had some special meaning to him.

"I used to climb this tree when I was younger," he said, running his hands up and down the rough bark. "If you can get up high enough, you can see for miles and miles."

Like a flash, he began to scale the tree with a cat-like grace and agility that astounded me. It seemed only a matter of seconds had passed before he was a good twenty feet off the ground. Eugenia gawked, openmouthed at the feat, shaking her head.

"Niles, what are you doing?" I called up to him. "Come down!"

Niles paused to look back at me, his eyes shining. "I won't," he replied. "I want to see if everything still looks the same. I want to see what the view is like now."

He continued to work his way up until he reached a nice, thick branch and edged his way onto it. He crawled forward, concentrating so hard, the tip of his tongue stuck out just a little.

"Niles, please!" I cried. "You're too far up! You'll fall. Please, just come down."

Niles looked down at me, obviously taken aback by my cries of protest. Watching him climb higher and higher made my stomach feel unsettled.

"Niles," I said, sharper this time. "Come down! Please!"

Niles nodded. "All right, Lillian. I'm coming down," he said with mock annoyance, but he smiled as he began to back off of the branch. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. No sooner had I relaxed, that a sharp crack shattered the silence. I took in my breath sharply and my head snapped up just in time for Niles to lock his eyes on mine. Then he was falling. Hard. Fast. Branches tore at skin, then snapped. Eugenia cried out, her hands flying to her throat. Niles hit the ground with a dull, sickening thud, his head striking a rock. Silence fell over the Magic Pond, suffocating us. It was so quiet, I couldn't even hear the wind in the trees. It was as if the world had stopped completely.

I screamed so loud and so long my throat ached. I attempted to break into a run, but my feet were rooted to the spot. I was frozen.

"Lillian!" Eugenia shrieked, her blue eyes wide with fear and confusion. "Oh, God, why aren't you doing something? Why won't you move?"

Finally, my legs began to work again, but I dropped to my knees almost instantly, too shaky to take but a step. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't. I had told Niles time and again he was taking unnecessary chances by always climbing trees. My heart was thudding so hard in my chest, I thought it would shatter my rib cage.

It took all my strength, but somehow I managed to crawl over to where Niles was. A small whimper escaped my lips. Scratches cris crossed his arms and legs. Blood leaked from his nose and mouth as well as a large gash on his forehead. After a moment or two, I noticed the blood beginning to pool beneath his head. There was something strange about his breathing, too. It seemed labored and he was making strange gurgling noises. I gazed at Eugenia, my wide eyes mirroring her own. Her face had lost any bit of lingering color.

"No!" I screamed "Niles, please! Please, wake up! Oh, God!"

My screams soon turned into wails. Eugenia didn't say a word. She sat in her chair, her face as hard and white as marble. Over my sobs, I could hear heavy footsteps.

"Lillian!" The voice was sharp and gruff. It didn't take me long to realize it was Papa. He stared down at me, his face red with anger. His eyes were so narrow and dark they were like black slits. Behind him was Niles' father. Mr. Thompson rushed to Niles while Papa loomed over me, looking so menacing, I thought I would faint from fear.

"It's bad," said Mr. Thompson. I could hear the quiver in his voice and part of me wanted to throw myself at his feet and beg for his forgiveness.

"He's alive, though, thank the Lord," he continued. "How many times have I told that boy not to be climbing those damn trees?" Poor Mr. Thompson's voice broke, but he managed to keep his composure. "There's a gash on the back of his head. Maybe some broken ribs. He needs a doctor, that's for sure."

I covered my face with my hands and sobbed.

"Quit your blubbering!" Papa hissed at me. "Dry those tears! Stop that crying this instant, Lillian. Your tears will do nothing for the boy now."

I watched as Papa helped Mr. Thompson lift Niles. It was as if the fall had knocked the life completely from Niles' body. Although Mr. Thompson said he was alive, I almost didn't believe it. He was too limp, too pale. It didn't seem possible to me.

Papa gestured for me to follow him. "Come on," he said, his voice like shards of glass, rough and jagged. "Get Eugenia. We're going back."

The men moved slowly, careful not to jar Niles while I plodded behind, holding onto Eugenia's wheelchair for dear life. Not too far away from the Magic Pond, I saw the Thompson's carriage. His mother looked nearly as white as the summer dress she wore. When she caught sight of Papa and Mr. Thompson carrying her son, she screamed. Her hands flitted around and she rushed over. She touched Niles' face. His sisters stayed very close together and watched with frightened eyes. Papa helped to lay Niles across the seat.

"We have to get him to a doctor quick," said Mr. Thompson. "Go home and wait for me. There's nothing more you can do for him."

Mrs. Thompson nodded through her tears, but refused to take a single step until the carriage was completely out of sight. Papa volunteered to walk the remaining Thompsons home. Then leaning close to me he said, "you take Eugenia and you get yourself home." His voice was so terrifying, it sent a chill up my spine and back down again. "Go on."

I felt numb walking back to The Meadows. I couldn't stop seeing Niles, his eyes wide as he slowly realized what was happening. The loud crack echoed through my mind just as loud and clear as it was the first time. I was cold all over.

"Lillian?" Eugenia whimpered. "What's going to happen to Niles?"

I didn't answer her. I couldn't answer her because I didn't know how. The uncertainty deep in my heart made me feel sick. Tears burned at my eyes and I walked on, each step heavier than the last.