Watching from Afar
A/N : Just a one shot fic… Hope you like it! =)
DISCLAIMER : All characters and places are property of JK Rowling
Now we begin…
'If only he would notice me – if only he would pay me half as much attention as I pay him. Why do I have to like him so much?! Why can't I like someone else? Someone that I have half a chance with… But no, ever since I've heard of him; I've had my heart set on him. After years of falling deeper and deeper in love with him – nothing can get me out of it. All I can do was watch from afar.
There he was – he has such a heavy burden on his shoulders, but he didn't let that control his life. He lived each day to the fullest – laughing and joking around with his friends. How I long to be with him… But no, his happiness is shared with only two others – not with me.
You'd think that I would accept that by now… After so many years, but, no… I keep thinking that I have a shred of hope… There's a candle burning in my heart for him that will never go out…
Every time I see him…
Every time I hear him…
Every time I feel him…
Every time I'm near him…
Every time…
Every time makes me want him even more.
There's a hunger inside me that nothing could fill.
There's an emptiness that only he could fill.
But, alas, he doesn't know that. Or, perhaps he does, but just decided not to acknowledge it.
Another song is starting to play… And here I am, watching him be with others – wishing that it was me he was spinning in his arms; wishing that it was me that he was laughing with; wishing that it was me that he held in his arms; wishing that it was me that would be kissed when the clock struck twelve… But, no - all I can do is watch him…
I'm nothing to him – just a girl; his best friend's little sister.
Oh Merlin, I feel the years… I can't let them show… How much longer will I have to endure the pain of having him so close, yet so far from my reach? How much longer will I have to watch him be with other girls? How much longer will I have to stand at the sidelines, wishing it was me that he loved? How much longer will my heart have to feel this pain?
All night, he's danced with different girls – but not me. And those girls didn't understand how lucky they are… They don't know how much I envy them… How easily it came for them to ask him to dance… But, I just can't bring herself up to it… What if I'm rejected? What if he laughs at me, and thinks that I was joking? No, it isn't worth the humiliation…
Oh, how long until the night was over? The dance ends after midnight… If only it was like all of the other dances – and ended at ten… But no, it had to be new year's eve… Now I'll have to watch him kiss another girl when the clock chimes twelve… They say that who you kiss on new year's, you'll be with during the year… And if that was true, then there's nothing that I can do… Whoever that girl is – Merlin I wish I was her… She probably won't appreciate him as much as I would…
And the tears are coming again… I can't; I won't. I promised myself never to cry because of him, and I'm not about to break that promise.
And, oh Merlin… He's coming towards me… Or, maybe he isn't, maybe it just looks like that…
Oh, Merlin… He is… He's coming right for me… And, oh… His arm just brushed up against mine… Why is it that I just melt when he's near me? Why can't I have control over myself… He's so close to me… I wish I could just lean over and kiss him…
And now he's talking… The words just flow out of his mouth – they sound so heavenly.
Except for this time, that is… He wants me to help him get the courage to kiss a certain girl at midnight… Oh Merlin, he had to ask me, didn't he? What do I say though?! If I say no, then he'll wonder why… Alright, alright… I can do this… It can't hurt that much… Perhaps, I'll just go numb and won't feel the pain…
He looks so happy now… He's positively beaming. If only it was me that made him smile like that – not the fact that I'll help him find someone who'll make him smile like that…
I wonder who it is… He won't tell me… It's probably one of those girlie girls that gossips and worries about make up… Or one of those girls that loves Quidditch… But I'm neither… I don't belong to any group… I'm just me – I'm my own little category.
Must he go on about how wonderful she is? Must I hear about how much he loves her? Must I hear about how special and gorgeous the object of his affection is? I don't see why he needs the help… He's probably just trying to make me jealous, or something…
And, oh my… It seems he's shy… He told me he's too shy to do anything about it… I know exactly how he feels… But I can't very well say that? He looks to adorable – all nervous and scared and going on about what if she rejects him… It just makes me love him even more…
At least he's finally decided that he's just going to kiss her… It's too late to ask her to dance – it's the last dance before midnight; before everyone starts to count down. Once it reaches one – he's going to kiss her…
Isn't that lovely? Isn't that just lovely… I'm going to be standing here, all alone, while he goes off to kiss some mystery girl… Although, he had better hurry if he wants to kiss her – everyone's started to count down already.'
10.
'Is he just going to run up to her in the last second or something?'
9.
'She must be near us… That lucky girl…'
8.
'Everyone's counting now…'
7.
'And now everyone's paired of… No one seems to be alone – everyone's near someone…'
6.
'Everyone that is to say, but me… I expect that Harry's going to run off soon…'
5.
'And then I'll be left standing all alone when everyone kisses…'
4.
'I suppose it won't be that bad, I mean, it's not like everyone is going to kiss for hours…'
3.
'And while everyone is with someone next year, I'll just sit there, watching their loves stories unfold…'
2.
'And I'll just keep watching Harry… I'll probably study more… I'll have so much time on my hands…'
1.
'Perhaps next year… Perhaps next year I'll get lucky, and…'
0.
He leaned over to kiss her; jerking her back to reality.
~*~
A/N : Hope you liked it – short but sweet, lolz. =)