Alright, here's the deal:
Hey, am I the only one, or did anyone else hear that they're making a movie out of the book "Ella Enchanted" ? Am I the only one losing my mind over this? I LOVE that book! If you haven't read it, please do so. It's a good read. By Gail Carlson Levine. And also, while I'm asking all these questions, has anyone found out anything about the next Kingdom Hearts game? (Finally finished it, after a year and two days @_@) Heard it was supposed to be coming out in America sometime before I die (Ever notice how long it takes for the companies just to dub a ½ hour show of Inuyasha? How long is it gonna take for an entire video game?) Now that I'm done boring you all out of your skulls with dumb questions, here's my latest songfic. Needed a breather from writing the sequel to "Just Those Rainey Days" so anyways, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own the song I used for this fic, called "My Immortal" Evanescence does. It's theirs, not mine. Not in any way, shape, or form a part of that group. So it's not mine.
Phew...now that that's out of the way...
Attorney: *clears throat loudly*
Shiroryu: *sweatdrops* Uh...now that that's out of the way...
Attorney: *coughs*
Shiroryu: Um... need a Riccola?
Attorney: Just say it. You can't afford ANOTHER lawsuit.
Shiroryu: But-
Attorney: I'll tell your mom...
Shiroryu: OK!!! OK!!! I, Shiroryu of the Moon do not, never have, and never will own Inuyasha, and/or anything in affiliation with Inuyasha. I am making no profits whatsoever from writing this story. I am doing this just for fun, nothing more. Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. Period.
Attorney: Now was that so hard?
Shiroryu: Yes, it really was. I think I need to go gargle now.
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BEYOND REPAIR
*
*
* The light of the sliver left of the moon danced gently upon her raven hair as she slowly walked up the steps to her shrine. She thought that maybe getting out of the house, away from this place for a while, would help. Maybe it would help her to forget. To forget everything. To remember nothing. To feel anything besides what she was feeling now. But her attempt was in vain. She still remembered everything. And she forgot nothing. She felt only what she had been feeling for the past 6 months or so. What had she been feeling? Grief? Depression? Hopelessness? No, that only scratched the surface. Unfathomable Sorrow. Excessive Despair. Permanent Despondency. That's more along the lines of what she suffered. That, and extreme fatigue. Feeling so grave, hurting so much, did more than exhaust her. It killed her spirit. She was tired of being there. So tired of being anywhere. She sighed heavily and continued on her trek to the top of the steps. Once there, she gazed at the lights in her house, hearing chatter coming from within. The aroma of dinner wafted to her nose as she breathed in deeply. Here was not where she wanted to be. Here was slowly destroying what little she still was. She allowed her eyes to wander to the far window on the second story to the left of the house, view mostly covered by her cherished cherry tree. Well, maybe it wasn't her most favorite tree ever. She had another tree...
But the cherry tree was still hers and she loved it. He used to climb in that tree. He used to get to her room by those branches. Those very same branches still blowing lightly in the chilly December breeze. He would hop through the window into her sanctuary. She stared from her position outside of her refuge, the vibrantly colored, stuffed animal filled, happy, warm place she'd always miss when she was gone. But he made her feel a little less nostalgic about it.
"I can't go in there." She breathed quietly to herself. She sat down on the steps and looked out at the small suburbia beneath her, lying serenely in the shadow of the hill her shrine and house sat upon. This happened frequently. Sometimes, it was just too overwhelming, and she'd just have to sit down and wait for the wave of emotions to ride its way through her heart before she could go in her room, or other certain places. She snuggled deeply into her coat, shivering against the cold, as the wind picked up speed and howled through the many leaves and trees on the shrine grounds, shaking everything in its path. And before she even knew it, crystal tears steadily began to pour from her already blood-shot eyes. And it was then, at that moment, the wind died down to a gentle, yet firm zephyr. The trees were silenced, leaves stilled. The little gust blew around her, almost like a hand brushing the hair from her face. She froze at this, and started to cry all over again when the wind gently touched her face, wiping away her tears, and she could almost hear it murmur softly in her ear, "don't cry"
"Please." She whispered to the air. "Please stop. Just leave me alone."
*
~I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
If you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cuz your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone~
*
He sat down on the steps next to her. He could feel his heart tear in two as he watched her tears roll off her once rosy cheeks. It made him so miserable to see her so unhappy. It was such a foreign sight to his eyes. He had grown very accustomed, and even came to love her bubbly, determined, unbeatable, happy-go-lucky spirit. No matter what happened, she forever saw the good side. No matter how much danger she was in, she had faith in him that he would always save her. When she screamed, the first thing that ever came to mind, and the only thing that would stay in mind, was to fight away anything making her feel scared. Nothing would make her feel afraid if he had anything to say about it. But now...
Now all he could do was stand and watch as the girl he loved so fully, gradually deteriorated before his very eyes. Her bubbly spirit had popped. Her determination disappeared. Her unbeatable attitude crushed. And her happy-go-lucky outlook had been clouded over with sorrow, pain, and, anxiety. He had never felt pain this real before. It hurt more than any battle he had fought, or any heartbreak he had endured. The wounds that had been inflicted upon him would never heal. These wounds, were unlike any he had ever had. And he knew there was nothing he could do about it. It wouldn't matter if stuck around a millennia or two. Time could not rub out his feelings, or soothe the ache. He would undergo this agony until the very end of time.
He turned from his thoughts over to the girl crying softly next to him. He hated to see her like this. He watched the angry December wind blow about wildly, making her shiver. He gave it a quick glare and willed it to stop, which it obeyed. She silently looked up at the now calm trees in wonder, but she continued to cry. He raised a gentle hand over to her face, stopping only millimeters away from the wetness of her features, unsure if he should touch her pale, velvety skin with his. But as more emerged from her eyes, his mind was promptly made up and he wiped them away, murmuring "don't cry" in her ear.
*
~These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have...
All of me~
*
"I miss you." She told the wind as it caressed her face. She moved into it, praying that time for once, would be kind and just stop for her. "I miss you so much. I still love you, and I always will. But if you have to leave, please just leave. It hurts. I can still feel you." She sobbed.
She felt the wind die down to a soft rustling next to her and it let go of her face. He was stubborn, but he was considerate when he wanted to be.
"Why did you go that day?" she asked. That question had been haunting her ever since...
"We could've helped. You didn't have to do it alone. You were never alone." That day, even now, haunted her dreams. No longer were they happy and carefree. Her last safe haven was her mind and even there, in the depths of her subconscious, she saw him. The blood. The pain. The jewel tainted a sinister, black color.
She wanted to go back. Back to before this all ever started. Back to the beginning. The first day she met him. She remembered his arrogance, foul- mouth, and short temper. He annoyed her to no end and just the tone of his voice would drive her absolutely crazy. At times she wanted nothing more than to wring his neck. But even then, she admitted, that there was something about him. Something unlike anything she had ever known. Like a puzzle no one had ever bothered to solve. His power within, beyond his muscle and amazing sword. How he had managed to last so long with everything that had been thrown at him from day one was unimaginable. Yet there he was, still standing, still strong. He was her pillar of strength. But even more, he was her friend. She shared a bond with him. More powerful than any other. She was bound to him for life. And even after it. She closed her eyes and let her mind wander to the days he was still there. To that last day.
*
~You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life
You left behind
Your face, it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice, it chased away
All the sanity in me~
*
"Master Inuyasha!" Myoga jumped up on the hanyou's face to talk a little better. "No blood today pest." The moody half demon glared. He casually squished the flea and continued to stare off into the distance while he sat high in the god-tree. Kagome had said something odd to him that day and he was befuddled to its meaning.
*Flashback*
"You and I, Inuyasha, are friends, right?" Kagome asked as he got lost in her chocolate brown eyes.
"Huh?" he replied. What the heck was that supposed to mean?
"Are we friends?"
The question had come like a flash flood. Completely unexpected. After he regained his composure, Inuyasha pondered at the inquiry. What were they? Just friends? More than friends?
"Inuyasha?" Kagome waved a hand in front of his face to bring him back to earth. "We've known each other for almost 4 years and you don't know if we're friends?" she was getting rather huffy with him now.
"Um...yeah, we're friends." He said.
"Friends." She said again.
"Yeah."
"No matter what happens, I want us to always stay like that. Even if..."
"Even if what?"
"Never mind. Just promise me that, come fire or rain, we'll always have our friendship."
"Wait, what do you think is gonna happen?"
"Promise me."
"I promise."
*End of Flashback*
"Master Inuyasha, I have no time to feast upon your blood!" Myoga said as he jumped around some more on Inuyasha's hand.
"What?" Something was definitely wrong if the flea didn't want blood.
"Myoga, what's going on?" he asked, getting more worried by the second.
"It's Naraku. He's coming."
Inuyasha quickly got up and jumped down the tree. He raced towards the village at lighting speed. He would've gotten there in about 60 seconds if Myoga hadn't screamed
"Stop!"
Inuyasha skidded to a stop on the grass.
"This had better be important Myoga!" He barked as he looked down at the small demon insect clinging to his shirt.
Myoga caught his breath and gave his master a grave look. "Kikyo is with him."
*
~These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase~
*
"Did you tell him yet?"
"Tell him what?"
"That you love him!"
"Sango!"
Kagome rolled her eyes as she continued to smash the herbs in the little wooden bowl like Kaede had instructed. Her friend sat across the hut from her, attending to a crack in her large bone boomerang.
"What? It's been almost 4 years, everyone knows you two are in love, except you two!"
"Honestly! We are not in love. We're just friends." Kagome replied with a sigh.
"If you're just friends, why does it hurt you so much when Kikyo comes around?" Sango was answered with silence. They would've sat in a hush for quite awhile if a familiar flea hadn't come bounding in and landing right on Kagome's nose.
"No blood today, Myoga." Kagome said as she went in to squish the bug.
"No, wait!" Myoga yelled, stopping Kagome's two fingers from flattening him.
"What? What's the matter?" Kagome asked, worried by the tone in his voice.
"It's Master Inuyasha!" he said breathlessly.
"What about him?" Kagome asked, getting more concerned by the second.
"He's been hurt. Badly. Naraku-"
"Where is he?" Kagome asked forcefully.
"Lady Kagome, it's too-"
"Myoga, where is Inuyasha?!" she screamed at him. Taking the hint, the flea quickly told her that he was about half a mile away from the village, near the river. With that, Kagome got up, grabbed Kirara, and darted off. The fire cat transformed for her and flew upon the wind, smelling out her favorite dog demon. She reached him in about two minutes. As she began to descend, Kagome saw him and while she was still 15 feet in the air, she jumped off Kirara and raced toward the fallen Inuyasha.
"Oh my god, Inuyasha!" she squeaked as she knelt before him. It really was a terrible sight. Inuyasha had a huge hole in his chest, where dried black blood cake around the outside while bright red was still pouring. In a matter of seconds Kagome was covered up to her elbows in his blood.
"Oh crap. You're losing too much blood. We gotta get you to Kaede's. What happened?"
"Here." He said simply. She looked down at his closed hand and watched him open it to reveal over ¾ of the Shikon no Tama. It was tainted a hideous color black, meaning it was evil. But as soon as she touched it, it returned to the pretty shade of pink the rest of it was. "..."
"I finally beat the bastard." He smiled. He winced slightly, but kept his grin.
"Inuyasha...this is the rest of the jewel!" Kagome gasped in amazement.
"I know."
"How on earth did you defeat Naraku with him using this much of the jewel all by yourself?"
"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm the strongest demon there is. He never stood a chance."
"But look at you!"
He said nothing to this. Kagome shook her head. "Come on. Let's get you up."
"No." he ground out.
"What?"
"No. I don't want to leave. Not yet." He groaned in pain.
"Look at you! You're about to pass out from all this blood loss! We need to get you out of here." She motioned for Kirara to come forward.
"Kirara, go. Let the others know that everything is OK, and make sure they stay away." Inuyasha told her. The cat demon nodded and flew off again.
"What the hell are you doing? I know you're stubborn, but come on! It'll take me forever to get you-"
"Kikyo was helping him." Inuyasha interrupted. Kagome's eyes got wide by the impact of the statement.
"Huh?"
"Kikyo was helping Naraku the whole time. Even way back, 50 years ago, they were together."
"What are you talking about?"
"Naraku had a major grudge on my father, but he never got the chance to finish him off. Kikyo hated half-breeds and found Onigumo in that cave all those years ago. After Onigumo died and Naraku was born, they devised a plot to deceive and kill me. Thing was, Naraku was never supposed to kill Kikyo. So she was a bit ticked off at him for that. But she carried on her duty, and pinned me with her sacred arrow. Afterwards, she died and Naraku had the run of this place for half a century. Then, when you woke me up, and Kikyo was brought back to life, Naraku promised her everlasting life with the jewel if she agreed to help kill me once again. That's what they were doing. They were in it together from the start."
"Oh Inuyasha..." Kagome gasped. She just didn't know what to say to something like that.
"So, they both attacked me today. I finished off Naraku after a lot of fighting, but it was Kikyo that was hard to deal with. I already had pretty bad wounds, and shooting me with that damn arrow again didn't exactly feel good. She told me that she really did love me and wanted to die with me."
Kagome sat in silence.
"I killed Kikyo." He said quietly. He never even looked at Kagome when he said it. He just looked at something in the distance only his golden eyes could see. "I killed her. She came towards me and I ran the untransformed Tetsusaiga through her heart."
"Oh my god..."
"Don't be mad, Kagome. I'm sorry. I had to."
"No, no. I'm not mad Inuyasha. I'm just so sorry you had to go through all of that. Why didn't you come and get me before you left. I could've helped you."
"It was too dangerous and I didn't want you to end up like me now."
"What do you mean? You're gonna be fine. You've had worse wounds before." Kagome lied. These were the worse wounds she had seen in her entire life. Period.
"You suck at lying." He said as he winced in pain. The blood still had not stop coming and Kagome was inwardly terrified. Even a half demon could not go too long with that much blood loss.
"I know. Which is why I need to hurry up and get you to Kaede's."
"Kikyo asked me something before she died." He said on a more serious note.
"What?"
"She asked me 'Do you love me?'"
"..."
"I told her that I don't think I ever did."
Kagome's eyes widen in surprise. That definitely wasn't what she was expecting to hear him say.
"Then she asked me, 'Do you love my reincarnation?'"
"..."
"I told her no, I didn't love her reincarnation."
Kagome's eyes welled up with tears and she quickly looked down as the truth hit her hard in the heart. She swallowed the lump growing in her chest and squeaked out a pitiful, "I understand Inuyasha. Come on. Let's get you-"
"I told her I loved Kagome."
"What?" she asked. She was positive she hadn't heard that right at all.
Inuyasha gently took her folded hands in his and rose her chin to meet his eyes. "I should've told you that years ago. I love you Kagome."
All the tears she'd been holding in broke loose and she threw her arms around the fallen boy, sobbing her heart out.
"I love you too." She wailed. He smiled. "Hey, it's OK. Don't cry." He murmured in her ear as he wiped away all of her tears.
"Why are you telling me this now?" she asked.
"Because, you and I both know these wounds are too deep to heal. I've already accepted the fact that I can't stay."
"No. You're gonna be just fine." Kagome reassured him as she choked back more tears. The statement sounded much better in her head.
"I never wanted to leave you."
"Don't talk like that. You're gonna make it."
"I guess I'll get to see my mom and dad now."
"Not for many, many years."
Inuyasha cupped his hand around her face and brought her forward till their lips were millimeters apart. "I've wanted to do this since forever." And before she could say anything, Inuyasha closed the gap between them.
*
~When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all these years
But you still have...
All of me~
*
She leaned back on the god-tree, looking at the dark, gray sky, fill with heavy black clouds just waiting to burst open.
"It's gonna rain soon." She told no one in particular. She sat back and was quiet for a few minutes. Suddenly, the sky open up and cried it tears upon her head. She just continued to sit there crying along with the heavens. After a while, the voice of a woman was a few feet away from her.
"You should really come in. You're gonna catch your death out here."
She acknowledged the speaker with a blank look. The woman sighed and sat down next to her.
"You know, you're gonna be alright. He's gone, but he's still with you. He loved you and you him. That'll keep you together until the end of time." The woman gently patted her back, stood up and walked away in the rain. Honestly, she had no idea who that woman was. It could've been anyone. She had heard that sentiment a lot lately and was tired of it. She was tired of everything. She wasn't even sure exactly where in time she was. All she knew was, she was at his tree.
Their tree.
She attempted to use the jewel to bring him back. But as soon as she fused the whole thing together, it melted away in her hands, dripping through her fingers and disappearing forever in the earth. When she asked Kaede what this meant, her answer was, "You purified the jewel. Something that pure cannot exist in this world. So it destroyed itself." She cried for an entire month. She saw no other way to bring back the man she loved so much.
Then she had tried to tell herself that he was gone. That it was over. Her adventure had ended. But she could still feel his presence sometimes, watching over her. How could one pretend not to notice the one they love right next to them? But even with his presence there, she felt more alone than any other time in her life combined. It was like she was in a dark room with no doors or windows, and no way out, but she could hear his voice on the outside of her prison. Why couldn't she get out?
"Why did you have to leave?" she asked as she looked down. She fished around in her pocket until she found the 4 or 5 sakura blossoms she was looking for. She had brought them from her own time, since they were at their blossoming peak. She kissed each one gently and slowly laid them on the long mound next to her covered in freshly dug up dirt. At the head of the mound was a marker stone with one solitary word on it...
Inuyasha
*
~I tried so hard to tell myself
That you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along~
*
"But if you have to leave, please just leave." He heard her sob. He looked at her strangely.
"Do you really mean that?" he asked.
"No." she admitted. "I just want this pain to go away. I want you to come back."
He pulled her gently to him and wrapped his arms around her, although all she felt was that little zephyr again, tugging at her.
"I don't want you to feel it anymore either. I'm sorry."
They sat in silence, each lost in their thought for each other. For the first time, he couldn't fight away her fears. He couldn't hold her hand and tell her it was gonna be OK. All he could was stand on the sidelines and watch.
'You've been here almost 6 months now.' A voice in the back of is mind told him.
I know.
'You have to leave.'
Why?
'You know why.'
I just want to stay with her. Isn't there any way I can go back?
'No.'
Let me have more time with her.
'Fine. I'll be back to get you.'
...
"I wish I could just see you, one more time." She sighed. She had finally clamed down and was talking to her little gust of wind again.
"..."
"Are you still there?" she asked in alarm when she felt no answer.
"..."
She lowered her head. She always felt empty when he wasn't there.
"Hey."
She looked up and almost fainted at the sight.
There he was. Transparent? Yes. Blurry around the edges? Definitely. But there he was, sitting where her gust of wind had been. Just like she remembered him. His silver hair fell smoothly down his back. His triangular, furry white ears perched on top of his head, swiveling every once in a while. His golden eyes still reminded her of warm honey on a summer's day. His fangs poked out a little bit from his mouth. He wore his red fire rat coat, and his prominent smirk still danced on his lips. Even his old, charmed necklace was around his neck.
"Oh my god..." she gasped. She went to hug him, but he held out a hand to stop her.
"I can't touch you. I'm not solid. You'll go right through me." He explained.
"How did you-"
"I'm a miracle worker." He replied.
"You have no idea how much I've missed you."
"I have a precise idea, because I've missed you a hell of a lot too."
"Does this mean you're coming back?"
"...No."
"Oh." She sighed. She had already known the answer, but it was a shot in the dark.
"Listen, I can't stay long."
"Huh? Why not?"
"I'm leaving."
"What do you mean, leaving?"
"I have to go to where they like to take us 'disembodied souls.'"
"So you won't be around anymore?"
"No. I won't. This is the last time I get to talk to you."
Tears pricked at her eyes again, although she had no idea where they were coming from. She thought she had already cried her very last tear for the rest of her life.
"Don't cry." He told her. He hated to see her cry. Maybe he shouldn't have told her at all. "You'll still have me. In fact, you still have all of me."
"And you have all of me. I'm so empty. I don't know what I'm gonna do without you."
"You're gonna be fine. You'll go on to do great things. I have faith in you."
"You do?"
"Yeah, I always have. You used to tell me that I was your hero. Well, you're mine. And I'll be rooting for you forever."
She smiled at him. Just then, one of the stars in the sky grew bright and closer to the earth. The light from it spilt down on the two, making her shield her eyes.
"What the-"
"It's time." She looked up to see someone standing in the light, features hidden by the brightness, talking to the man next to her.
"I know." He said.
She grabbed at him and only then realized that he wasn't solid. "No, don't leave me alone."
He turned to her, pain evident in his eyes. "I will never leave you alone. I'm still always here with you. And you'll always be with me. We're bound together, remember?" She nodded and whispered so low he almost missed it, "I love you."
"I love you too." He whispered back.
"Come." The person said. He stood up and so did she.
"Is that God?" she asked.
He looked at her for a moment and then let out a laugh. "Yeah right. That's just my dad. He always has to make everything overdramatic." His smile soon died down and he looked at her.
"So you finally got to meet your father, huh?"
"Yeah. He's not all he's cracked up to be. He can be really corny sometimes."
"Son, we have to go." His father persisted.
"Alright! Gimme a minute. Jeez. He turned back to her. "Good bye Kagome."
"No. Good byes are forever. I'll see you again." She told him.
He grinned at her. They made eye contact and simultaneously moved into one another. For the briefest of moments, Kagome could've sworn she actually felt his lips. But she knew for sure she felt his love. Once they parted, he walked backwards to his father, never breaking eye contact.
"I'll see you later Inuyasha."
He sent her a wave and finally turned to face his dad.
"Ready son?"
"No. Let's just go." Inuyasha said honestly. His father nodded and with a huge flash like lighting, they were gone.
Kagome stood on the shrine steps, watching the spot where he was just moments ago. The neglected December wind picked up again, blowing sakura petals from the god-tree and even her own all around her, as if to comfort her for her loss. She brought her hand to her chest, hoping that her heart wouldn't shatter. But instead of feeling her black, velvet blouse she had donned that morning, she felt a necklace around her that she knew wasn't hers. She took it off her neck to look closely at it. There, in her hand, was Inuyasha's enchanted necklace, just as she remembered it. Right then and there she looked up into the dark night sky.
"I'll return this to you, Inuyasha. I promise."
*
~When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have...
All of me...~
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~*~THE END~*~
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Did you like it? I know I laid a little heavy, but it's my fic, so I can do whatever the heck I feel like. OK, I've done my part by writing this songfic, now its your turn by reviewing. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!!! It would make me super happy. It'll be like a late Christmas present and an early birthday present for me (turning 16 in 13 days! Go me!) So please review and don't forget to check out my other songfic and story if you haven't already. Thanks.
~Shiroryu of the Moon
Hey, am I the only one, or did anyone else hear that they're making a movie out of the book "Ella Enchanted" ? Am I the only one losing my mind over this? I LOVE that book! If you haven't read it, please do so. It's a good read. By Gail Carlson Levine. And also, while I'm asking all these questions, has anyone found out anything about the next Kingdom Hearts game? (Finally finished it, after a year and two days @_@) Heard it was supposed to be coming out in America sometime before I die (Ever notice how long it takes for the companies just to dub a ½ hour show of Inuyasha? How long is it gonna take for an entire video game?) Now that I'm done boring you all out of your skulls with dumb questions, here's my latest songfic. Needed a breather from writing the sequel to "Just Those Rainey Days" so anyways, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own the song I used for this fic, called "My Immortal" Evanescence does. It's theirs, not mine. Not in any way, shape, or form a part of that group. So it's not mine.
Phew...now that that's out of the way...
Attorney: *clears throat loudly*
Shiroryu: *sweatdrops* Uh...now that that's out of the way...
Attorney: *coughs*
Shiroryu: Um... need a Riccola?
Attorney: Just say it. You can't afford ANOTHER lawsuit.
Shiroryu: But-
Attorney: I'll tell your mom...
Shiroryu: OK!!! OK!!! I, Shiroryu of the Moon do not, never have, and never will own Inuyasha, and/or anything in affiliation with Inuyasha. I am making no profits whatsoever from writing this story. I am doing this just for fun, nothing more. Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. Period.
Attorney: Now was that so hard?
Shiroryu: Yes, it really was. I think I need to go gargle now.
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BEYOND REPAIR
*
*
* The light of the sliver left of the moon danced gently upon her raven hair as she slowly walked up the steps to her shrine. She thought that maybe getting out of the house, away from this place for a while, would help. Maybe it would help her to forget. To forget everything. To remember nothing. To feel anything besides what she was feeling now. But her attempt was in vain. She still remembered everything. And she forgot nothing. She felt only what she had been feeling for the past 6 months or so. What had she been feeling? Grief? Depression? Hopelessness? No, that only scratched the surface. Unfathomable Sorrow. Excessive Despair. Permanent Despondency. That's more along the lines of what she suffered. That, and extreme fatigue. Feeling so grave, hurting so much, did more than exhaust her. It killed her spirit. She was tired of being there. So tired of being anywhere. She sighed heavily and continued on her trek to the top of the steps. Once there, she gazed at the lights in her house, hearing chatter coming from within. The aroma of dinner wafted to her nose as she breathed in deeply. Here was not where she wanted to be. Here was slowly destroying what little she still was. She allowed her eyes to wander to the far window on the second story to the left of the house, view mostly covered by her cherished cherry tree. Well, maybe it wasn't her most favorite tree ever. She had another tree...
But the cherry tree was still hers and she loved it. He used to climb in that tree. He used to get to her room by those branches. Those very same branches still blowing lightly in the chilly December breeze. He would hop through the window into her sanctuary. She stared from her position outside of her refuge, the vibrantly colored, stuffed animal filled, happy, warm place she'd always miss when she was gone. But he made her feel a little less nostalgic about it.
"I can't go in there." She breathed quietly to herself. She sat down on the steps and looked out at the small suburbia beneath her, lying serenely in the shadow of the hill her shrine and house sat upon. This happened frequently. Sometimes, it was just too overwhelming, and she'd just have to sit down and wait for the wave of emotions to ride its way through her heart before she could go in her room, or other certain places. She snuggled deeply into her coat, shivering against the cold, as the wind picked up speed and howled through the many leaves and trees on the shrine grounds, shaking everything in its path. And before she even knew it, crystal tears steadily began to pour from her already blood-shot eyes. And it was then, at that moment, the wind died down to a gentle, yet firm zephyr. The trees were silenced, leaves stilled. The little gust blew around her, almost like a hand brushing the hair from her face. She froze at this, and started to cry all over again when the wind gently touched her face, wiping away her tears, and she could almost hear it murmur softly in her ear, "don't cry"
"Please." She whispered to the air. "Please stop. Just leave me alone."
*
~I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
If you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cuz your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone~
*
He sat down on the steps next to her. He could feel his heart tear in two as he watched her tears roll off her once rosy cheeks. It made him so miserable to see her so unhappy. It was such a foreign sight to his eyes. He had grown very accustomed, and even came to love her bubbly, determined, unbeatable, happy-go-lucky spirit. No matter what happened, she forever saw the good side. No matter how much danger she was in, she had faith in him that he would always save her. When she screamed, the first thing that ever came to mind, and the only thing that would stay in mind, was to fight away anything making her feel scared. Nothing would make her feel afraid if he had anything to say about it. But now...
Now all he could do was stand and watch as the girl he loved so fully, gradually deteriorated before his very eyes. Her bubbly spirit had popped. Her determination disappeared. Her unbeatable attitude crushed. And her happy-go-lucky outlook had been clouded over with sorrow, pain, and, anxiety. He had never felt pain this real before. It hurt more than any battle he had fought, or any heartbreak he had endured. The wounds that had been inflicted upon him would never heal. These wounds, were unlike any he had ever had. And he knew there was nothing he could do about it. It wouldn't matter if stuck around a millennia or two. Time could not rub out his feelings, or soothe the ache. He would undergo this agony until the very end of time.
He turned from his thoughts over to the girl crying softly next to him. He hated to see her like this. He watched the angry December wind blow about wildly, making her shiver. He gave it a quick glare and willed it to stop, which it obeyed. She silently looked up at the now calm trees in wonder, but she continued to cry. He raised a gentle hand over to her face, stopping only millimeters away from the wetness of her features, unsure if he should touch her pale, velvety skin with his. But as more emerged from her eyes, his mind was promptly made up and he wiped them away, murmuring "don't cry" in her ear.
*
~These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have...
All of me~
*
"I miss you." She told the wind as it caressed her face. She moved into it, praying that time for once, would be kind and just stop for her. "I miss you so much. I still love you, and I always will. But if you have to leave, please just leave. It hurts. I can still feel you." She sobbed.
She felt the wind die down to a soft rustling next to her and it let go of her face. He was stubborn, but he was considerate when he wanted to be.
"Why did you go that day?" she asked. That question had been haunting her ever since...
"We could've helped. You didn't have to do it alone. You were never alone." That day, even now, haunted her dreams. No longer were they happy and carefree. Her last safe haven was her mind and even there, in the depths of her subconscious, she saw him. The blood. The pain. The jewel tainted a sinister, black color.
She wanted to go back. Back to before this all ever started. Back to the beginning. The first day she met him. She remembered his arrogance, foul- mouth, and short temper. He annoyed her to no end and just the tone of his voice would drive her absolutely crazy. At times she wanted nothing more than to wring his neck. But even then, she admitted, that there was something about him. Something unlike anything she had ever known. Like a puzzle no one had ever bothered to solve. His power within, beyond his muscle and amazing sword. How he had managed to last so long with everything that had been thrown at him from day one was unimaginable. Yet there he was, still standing, still strong. He was her pillar of strength. But even more, he was her friend. She shared a bond with him. More powerful than any other. She was bound to him for life. And even after it. She closed her eyes and let her mind wander to the days he was still there. To that last day.
*
~You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life
You left behind
Your face, it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice, it chased away
All the sanity in me~
*
"Master Inuyasha!" Myoga jumped up on the hanyou's face to talk a little better. "No blood today pest." The moody half demon glared. He casually squished the flea and continued to stare off into the distance while he sat high in the god-tree. Kagome had said something odd to him that day and he was befuddled to its meaning.
*Flashback*
"You and I, Inuyasha, are friends, right?" Kagome asked as he got lost in her chocolate brown eyes.
"Huh?" he replied. What the heck was that supposed to mean?
"Are we friends?"
The question had come like a flash flood. Completely unexpected. After he regained his composure, Inuyasha pondered at the inquiry. What were they? Just friends? More than friends?
"Inuyasha?" Kagome waved a hand in front of his face to bring him back to earth. "We've known each other for almost 4 years and you don't know if we're friends?" she was getting rather huffy with him now.
"Um...yeah, we're friends." He said.
"Friends." She said again.
"Yeah."
"No matter what happens, I want us to always stay like that. Even if..."
"Even if what?"
"Never mind. Just promise me that, come fire or rain, we'll always have our friendship."
"Wait, what do you think is gonna happen?"
"Promise me."
"I promise."
*End of Flashback*
"Master Inuyasha, I have no time to feast upon your blood!" Myoga said as he jumped around some more on Inuyasha's hand.
"What?" Something was definitely wrong if the flea didn't want blood.
"Myoga, what's going on?" he asked, getting more worried by the second.
"It's Naraku. He's coming."
Inuyasha quickly got up and jumped down the tree. He raced towards the village at lighting speed. He would've gotten there in about 60 seconds if Myoga hadn't screamed
"Stop!"
Inuyasha skidded to a stop on the grass.
"This had better be important Myoga!" He barked as he looked down at the small demon insect clinging to his shirt.
Myoga caught his breath and gave his master a grave look. "Kikyo is with him."
*
~These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase~
*
"Did you tell him yet?"
"Tell him what?"
"That you love him!"
"Sango!"
Kagome rolled her eyes as she continued to smash the herbs in the little wooden bowl like Kaede had instructed. Her friend sat across the hut from her, attending to a crack in her large bone boomerang.
"What? It's been almost 4 years, everyone knows you two are in love, except you two!"
"Honestly! We are not in love. We're just friends." Kagome replied with a sigh.
"If you're just friends, why does it hurt you so much when Kikyo comes around?" Sango was answered with silence. They would've sat in a hush for quite awhile if a familiar flea hadn't come bounding in and landing right on Kagome's nose.
"No blood today, Myoga." Kagome said as she went in to squish the bug.
"No, wait!" Myoga yelled, stopping Kagome's two fingers from flattening him.
"What? What's the matter?" Kagome asked, worried by the tone in his voice.
"It's Master Inuyasha!" he said breathlessly.
"What about him?" Kagome asked, getting more concerned by the second.
"He's been hurt. Badly. Naraku-"
"Where is he?" Kagome asked forcefully.
"Lady Kagome, it's too-"
"Myoga, where is Inuyasha?!" she screamed at him. Taking the hint, the flea quickly told her that he was about half a mile away from the village, near the river. With that, Kagome got up, grabbed Kirara, and darted off. The fire cat transformed for her and flew upon the wind, smelling out her favorite dog demon. She reached him in about two minutes. As she began to descend, Kagome saw him and while she was still 15 feet in the air, she jumped off Kirara and raced toward the fallen Inuyasha.
"Oh my god, Inuyasha!" she squeaked as she knelt before him. It really was a terrible sight. Inuyasha had a huge hole in his chest, where dried black blood cake around the outside while bright red was still pouring. In a matter of seconds Kagome was covered up to her elbows in his blood.
"Oh crap. You're losing too much blood. We gotta get you to Kaede's. What happened?"
"Here." He said simply. She looked down at his closed hand and watched him open it to reveal over ¾ of the Shikon no Tama. It was tainted a hideous color black, meaning it was evil. But as soon as she touched it, it returned to the pretty shade of pink the rest of it was. "..."
"I finally beat the bastard." He smiled. He winced slightly, but kept his grin.
"Inuyasha...this is the rest of the jewel!" Kagome gasped in amazement.
"I know."
"How on earth did you defeat Naraku with him using this much of the jewel all by yourself?"
"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm the strongest demon there is. He never stood a chance."
"But look at you!"
He said nothing to this. Kagome shook her head. "Come on. Let's get you up."
"No." he ground out.
"What?"
"No. I don't want to leave. Not yet." He groaned in pain.
"Look at you! You're about to pass out from all this blood loss! We need to get you out of here." She motioned for Kirara to come forward.
"Kirara, go. Let the others know that everything is OK, and make sure they stay away." Inuyasha told her. The cat demon nodded and flew off again.
"What the hell are you doing? I know you're stubborn, but come on! It'll take me forever to get you-"
"Kikyo was helping him." Inuyasha interrupted. Kagome's eyes got wide by the impact of the statement.
"Huh?"
"Kikyo was helping Naraku the whole time. Even way back, 50 years ago, they were together."
"What are you talking about?"
"Naraku had a major grudge on my father, but he never got the chance to finish him off. Kikyo hated half-breeds and found Onigumo in that cave all those years ago. After Onigumo died and Naraku was born, they devised a plot to deceive and kill me. Thing was, Naraku was never supposed to kill Kikyo. So she was a bit ticked off at him for that. But she carried on her duty, and pinned me with her sacred arrow. Afterwards, she died and Naraku had the run of this place for half a century. Then, when you woke me up, and Kikyo was brought back to life, Naraku promised her everlasting life with the jewel if she agreed to help kill me once again. That's what they were doing. They were in it together from the start."
"Oh Inuyasha..." Kagome gasped. She just didn't know what to say to something like that.
"So, they both attacked me today. I finished off Naraku after a lot of fighting, but it was Kikyo that was hard to deal with. I already had pretty bad wounds, and shooting me with that damn arrow again didn't exactly feel good. She told me that she really did love me and wanted to die with me."
Kagome sat in silence.
"I killed Kikyo." He said quietly. He never even looked at Kagome when he said it. He just looked at something in the distance only his golden eyes could see. "I killed her. She came towards me and I ran the untransformed Tetsusaiga through her heart."
"Oh my god..."
"Don't be mad, Kagome. I'm sorry. I had to."
"No, no. I'm not mad Inuyasha. I'm just so sorry you had to go through all of that. Why didn't you come and get me before you left. I could've helped you."
"It was too dangerous and I didn't want you to end up like me now."
"What do you mean? You're gonna be fine. You've had worse wounds before." Kagome lied. These were the worse wounds she had seen in her entire life. Period.
"You suck at lying." He said as he winced in pain. The blood still had not stop coming and Kagome was inwardly terrified. Even a half demon could not go too long with that much blood loss.
"I know. Which is why I need to hurry up and get you to Kaede's."
"Kikyo asked me something before she died." He said on a more serious note.
"What?"
"She asked me 'Do you love me?'"
"..."
"I told her that I don't think I ever did."
Kagome's eyes widen in surprise. That definitely wasn't what she was expecting to hear him say.
"Then she asked me, 'Do you love my reincarnation?'"
"..."
"I told her no, I didn't love her reincarnation."
Kagome's eyes welled up with tears and she quickly looked down as the truth hit her hard in the heart. She swallowed the lump growing in her chest and squeaked out a pitiful, "I understand Inuyasha. Come on. Let's get you-"
"I told her I loved Kagome."
"What?" she asked. She was positive she hadn't heard that right at all.
Inuyasha gently took her folded hands in his and rose her chin to meet his eyes. "I should've told you that years ago. I love you Kagome."
All the tears she'd been holding in broke loose and she threw her arms around the fallen boy, sobbing her heart out.
"I love you too." She wailed. He smiled. "Hey, it's OK. Don't cry." He murmured in her ear as he wiped away all of her tears.
"Why are you telling me this now?" she asked.
"Because, you and I both know these wounds are too deep to heal. I've already accepted the fact that I can't stay."
"No. You're gonna be just fine." Kagome reassured him as she choked back more tears. The statement sounded much better in her head.
"I never wanted to leave you."
"Don't talk like that. You're gonna make it."
"I guess I'll get to see my mom and dad now."
"Not for many, many years."
Inuyasha cupped his hand around her face and brought her forward till their lips were millimeters apart. "I've wanted to do this since forever." And before she could say anything, Inuyasha closed the gap between them.
*
~When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all these years
But you still have...
All of me~
*
She leaned back on the god-tree, looking at the dark, gray sky, fill with heavy black clouds just waiting to burst open.
"It's gonna rain soon." She told no one in particular. She sat back and was quiet for a few minutes. Suddenly, the sky open up and cried it tears upon her head. She just continued to sit there crying along with the heavens. After a while, the voice of a woman was a few feet away from her.
"You should really come in. You're gonna catch your death out here."
She acknowledged the speaker with a blank look. The woman sighed and sat down next to her.
"You know, you're gonna be alright. He's gone, but he's still with you. He loved you and you him. That'll keep you together until the end of time." The woman gently patted her back, stood up and walked away in the rain. Honestly, she had no idea who that woman was. It could've been anyone. She had heard that sentiment a lot lately and was tired of it. She was tired of everything. She wasn't even sure exactly where in time she was. All she knew was, she was at his tree.
Their tree.
She attempted to use the jewel to bring him back. But as soon as she fused the whole thing together, it melted away in her hands, dripping through her fingers and disappearing forever in the earth. When she asked Kaede what this meant, her answer was, "You purified the jewel. Something that pure cannot exist in this world. So it destroyed itself." She cried for an entire month. She saw no other way to bring back the man she loved so much.
Then she had tried to tell herself that he was gone. That it was over. Her adventure had ended. But she could still feel his presence sometimes, watching over her. How could one pretend not to notice the one they love right next to them? But even with his presence there, she felt more alone than any other time in her life combined. It was like she was in a dark room with no doors or windows, and no way out, but she could hear his voice on the outside of her prison. Why couldn't she get out?
"Why did you have to leave?" she asked as she looked down. She fished around in her pocket until she found the 4 or 5 sakura blossoms she was looking for. She had brought them from her own time, since they were at their blossoming peak. She kissed each one gently and slowly laid them on the long mound next to her covered in freshly dug up dirt. At the head of the mound was a marker stone with one solitary word on it...
Inuyasha
*
~I tried so hard to tell myself
That you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along~
*
"But if you have to leave, please just leave." He heard her sob. He looked at her strangely.
"Do you really mean that?" he asked.
"No." she admitted. "I just want this pain to go away. I want you to come back."
He pulled her gently to him and wrapped his arms around her, although all she felt was that little zephyr again, tugging at her.
"I don't want you to feel it anymore either. I'm sorry."
They sat in silence, each lost in their thought for each other. For the first time, he couldn't fight away her fears. He couldn't hold her hand and tell her it was gonna be OK. All he could was stand on the sidelines and watch.
'You've been here almost 6 months now.' A voice in the back of is mind told him.
I know.
'You have to leave.'
Why?
'You know why.'
I just want to stay with her. Isn't there any way I can go back?
'No.'
Let me have more time with her.
'Fine. I'll be back to get you.'
...
"I wish I could just see you, one more time." She sighed. She had finally clamed down and was talking to her little gust of wind again.
"..."
"Are you still there?" she asked in alarm when she felt no answer.
"..."
She lowered her head. She always felt empty when he wasn't there.
"Hey."
She looked up and almost fainted at the sight.
There he was. Transparent? Yes. Blurry around the edges? Definitely. But there he was, sitting where her gust of wind had been. Just like she remembered him. His silver hair fell smoothly down his back. His triangular, furry white ears perched on top of his head, swiveling every once in a while. His golden eyes still reminded her of warm honey on a summer's day. His fangs poked out a little bit from his mouth. He wore his red fire rat coat, and his prominent smirk still danced on his lips. Even his old, charmed necklace was around his neck.
"Oh my god..." she gasped. She went to hug him, but he held out a hand to stop her.
"I can't touch you. I'm not solid. You'll go right through me." He explained.
"How did you-"
"I'm a miracle worker." He replied.
"You have no idea how much I've missed you."
"I have a precise idea, because I've missed you a hell of a lot too."
"Does this mean you're coming back?"
"...No."
"Oh." She sighed. She had already known the answer, but it was a shot in the dark.
"Listen, I can't stay long."
"Huh? Why not?"
"I'm leaving."
"What do you mean, leaving?"
"I have to go to where they like to take us 'disembodied souls.'"
"So you won't be around anymore?"
"No. I won't. This is the last time I get to talk to you."
Tears pricked at her eyes again, although she had no idea where they were coming from. She thought she had already cried her very last tear for the rest of her life.
"Don't cry." He told her. He hated to see her cry. Maybe he shouldn't have told her at all. "You'll still have me. In fact, you still have all of me."
"And you have all of me. I'm so empty. I don't know what I'm gonna do without you."
"You're gonna be fine. You'll go on to do great things. I have faith in you."
"You do?"
"Yeah, I always have. You used to tell me that I was your hero. Well, you're mine. And I'll be rooting for you forever."
She smiled at him. Just then, one of the stars in the sky grew bright and closer to the earth. The light from it spilt down on the two, making her shield her eyes.
"What the-"
"It's time." She looked up to see someone standing in the light, features hidden by the brightness, talking to the man next to her.
"I know." He said.
She grabbed at him and only then realized that he wasn't solid. "No, don't leave me alone."
He turned to her, pain evident in his eyes. "I will never leave you alone. I'm still always here with you. And you'll always be with me. We're bound together, remember?" She nodded and whispered so low he almost missed it, "I love you."
"I love you too." He whispered back.
"Come." The person said. He stood up and so did she.
"Is that God?" she asked.
He looked at her for a moment and then let out a laugh. "Yeah right. That's just my dad. He always has to make everything overdramatic." His smile soon died down and he looked at her.
"So you finally got to meet your father, huh?"
"Yeah. He's not all he's cracked up to be. He can be really corny sometimes."
"Son, we have to go." His father persisted.
"Alright! Gimme a minute. Jeez. He turned back to her. "Good bye Kagome."
"No. Good byes are forever. I'll see you again." She told him.
He grinned at her. They made eye contact and simultaneously moved into one another. For the briefest of moments, Kagome could've sworn she actually felt his lips. But she knew for sure she felt his love. Once they parted, he walked backwards to his father, never breaking eye contact.
"I'll see you later Inuyasha."
He sent her a wave and finally turned to face his dad.
"Ready son?"
"No. Let's just go." Inuyasha said honestly. His father nodded and with a huge flash like lighting, they were gone.
Kagome stood on the shrine steps, watching the spot where he was just moments ago. The neglected December wind picked up again, blowing sakura petals from the god-tree and even her own all around her, as if to comfort her for her loss. She brought her hand to her chest, hoping that her heart wouldn't shatter. But instead of feeling her black, velvet blouse she had donned that morning, she felt a necklace around her that she knew wasn't hers. She took it off her neck to look closely at it. There, in her hand, was Inuyasha's enchanted necklace, just as she remembered it. Right then and there she looked up into the dark night sky.
"I'll return this to you, Inuyasha. I promise."
*
~When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have...
All of me...~
~*~
*~*
~*~
*~*
~*~
~*~THE END~*~
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Did you like it? I know I laid a little heavy, but it's my fic, so I can do whatever the heck I feel like. OK, I've done my part by writing this songfic, now its your turn by reviewing. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!!! It would make me super happy. It'll be like a late Christmas present and an early birthday present for me (turning 16 in 13 days! Go me!) So please review and don't forget to check out my other songfic and story if you haven't already. Thanks.
~Shiroryu of the Moon