Chapter Five- Boromir
In Lothlorien I had time and peace of mind enough to lend my mind completely to my thoughts. The fair and peaceful land had eased the whisperings of the Ring on my mind, and once again thoughts of Delérith came back to me. For a while the memories of her had been crowded out, for I was surrounded by seven other people and had other things to think about. Now I knew I was closer to home and soon would be on my way back, with or without the rest of the company and the Ring. I now had the answers; I had discovered the meaning of the dream, and now I knew my place was in Gondor. War would be coming to us soon, and I would be needed. With a jolt my thoughts suddenly turned to my child. It was odd thinking of myself as a father. I counted off on my fingers. I had left in early September, five months ago. For all I knew the child could have been born by now. I felt a sudden lump in my throat, and for the first time I felt myself properly missing her. I recalled memories and comforted myself with thoughts of happier times. I thought of when we ate together, how she sat across from my father and spoke with him. I liked having her with us when we dined in the evening, for she lightened the mood that had occasionally turned dark when my father turned on Faramir. Having her there turned his attention away, for he liked her and did not notice when she subtly humoured him. I knew that Faramir liked her being there too, for he could eat in peace without my father's critical eye on him constantly. I remembered the times I had returned home late, and slipped into our room without lighting a candle. Sometimes she woke, and asked me how my day had been. Even though her eyes were bleary with sleep she sat up and spoke with me, but I was often tired and wanted nothing more than to fall asleep. I felt guilty as I unwittingly recollected the times I had tried to be as quiet as I could, not because of her but because of me, because I had wanted just to sleep and could not bring myself to talk with her that night.
I had not spoken to anyone about Delérith, preferring to keep my thoughts to myself. The matter of the child preyed on my mind. I did not resent it as I once had done, and I found myself with an even deeper longing to go back to Minas Tirith to see them.
"Things need to be set right. Things will be set right," I said decisively, speaking out loud without meaning to.
"What will be set right?" a voice asked from above me.
I turned my head and looked in the direction of the voice. Samwise the hobbit was standing at the top of the bank on which I had been leaning.
I smiled at the hobbit's inquisitiveness. "Things back in my city," I answered after a moments thought.
Sam made his way carefully down the bank, and then hovered in front of me, obviously uncertain whether to sit with me or not.
"Come, Master Hobbit," I said, patting the earth alongside me. Sam grinned and sat down at once.
We talked for a short while about Sam's home, the Shire. He spoke animatedly, telling me the names of his extensive family and talking happily about the hills and trees of his homeland. I was soon lost in his descriptions for the many names confused me, but I found it pleasant to sit back and let his words rush over me like a smoothly flowing river. I could tell that he loved his home dearly. Then the subject of Minas Tirith came up.
"Do you have a wife back at your city?" Sam asked, looking at me innocently.
"Yes, I have a wife," I replied. It felt odd to speak those words.
"What is she called?" Sam continued.
"Her name is Delérith." I had not spoken her name since I left the gates of Minas Tirith and saying it again bought back memories of her. It felt like it somehow opened a door in my mind and caused memories and thoughts of her to flow freely, unlike they had ever done before. I realized what a fool I had been. I should never have left.
"I do not think I should have left her behind," I said finally. "She was to bear a child."
Sam said nothing, only nodded. I think he realised that he had touched on a sensitive subject.
"I did not treat her in the manner she deserved. When I left I thought I did not love her, but now I find myself with feelings I did not know I possessed."
I paused for a time and stared ahead of me, lost in my thoughts. Then I turned and looked at Sam, and let out a laugh when I saw his expression. "I fear that you got more than you bargained for when you asked me about my city. Do you have anyone waiting for you back in the Shire?"
Sam coloured and looked down at his feet. "Well, there is this one lass," he said, stammering slightly.
"Yes?" I prodded, playfully pressing him for answers. I had not done that sort of thing since I had spoken to Faramir, and for a moment I almost felt like I was back with him.
"Her name is Rosie," Sam admitted, blushing crimson. "She is the prettiest hobbit in the Shire, and the nicest too. Too good for me."
I clapped him on the shoulder and climbed to my feet.
"You are a fine hobbit, Samwise. Any lass would be lucky to have you," I said as I looked down at his round face with its big eyes and happy expression. I made as if to say more, but then stopped myself, unsure of what my words should be. In the end I just smiled at him and strode off into the woods.
I felt better after that talk. Speaking of Delérith, for even as little time as that, had cleared my head somewhat of its jumble of thoughts. All I knew now was that I had to get back to Minas Tirith and give her the support she deserved.
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In Lothlorien I had time and peace of mind enough to lend my mind completely to my thoughts. The fair and peaceful land had eased the whisperings of the Ring on my mind, and once again thoughts of Delérith came back to me. For a while the memories of her had been crowded out, for I was surrounded by seven other people and had other things to think about. Now I knew I was closer to home and soon would be on my way back, with or without the rest of the company and the Ring. I now had the answers; I had discovered the meaning of the dream, and now I knew my place was in Gondor. War would be coming to us soon, and I would be needed. With a jolt my thoughts suddenly turned to my child. It was odd thinking of myself as a father. I counted off on my fingers. I had left in early September, five months ago. For all I knew the child could have been born by now. I felt a sudden lump in my throat, and for the first time I felt myself properly missing her. I recalled memories and comforted myself with thoughts of happier times. I thought of when we ate together, how she sat across from my father and spoke with him. I liked having her with us when we dined in the evening, for she lightened the mood that had occasionally turned dark when my father turned on Faramir. Having her there turned his attention away, for he liked her and did not notice when she subtly humoured him. I knew that Faramir liked her being there too, for he could eat in peace without my father's critical eye on him constantly. I remembered the times I had returned home late, and slipped into our room without lighting a candle. Sometimes she woke, and asked me how my day had been. Even though her eyes were bleary with sleep she sat up and spoke with me, but I was often tired and wanted nothing more than to fall asleep. I felt guilty as I unwittingly recollected the times I had tried to be as quiet as I could, not because of her but because of me, because I had wanted just to sleep and could not bring myself to talk with her that night.
I had not spoken to anyone about Delérith, preferring to keep my thoughts to myself. The matter of the child preyed on my mind. I did not resent it as I once had done, and I found myself with an even deeper longing to go back to Minas Tirith to see them.
"Things need to be set right. Things will be set right," I said decisively, speaking out loud without meaning to.
"What will be set right?" a voice asked from above me.
I turned my head and looked in the direction of the voice. Samwise the hobbit was standing at the top of the bank on which I had been leaning.
I smiled at the hobbit's inquisitiveness. "Things back in my city," I answered after a moments thought.
Sam made his way carefully down the bank, and then hovered in front of me, obviously uncertain whether to sit with me or not.
"Come, Master Hobbit," I said, patting the earth alongside me. Sam grinned and sat down at once.
We talked for a short while about Sam's home, the Shire. He spoke animatedly, telling me the names of his extensive family and talking happily about the hills and trees of his homeland. I was soon lost in his descriptions for the many names confused me, but I found it pleasant to sit back and let his words rush over me like a smoothly flowing river. I could tell that he loved his home dearly. Then the subject of Minas Tirith came up.
"Do you have a wife back at your city?" Sam asked, looking at me innocently.
"Yes, I have a wife," I replied. It felt odd to speak those words.
"What is she called?" Sam continued.
"Her name is Delérith." I had not spoken her name since I left the gates of Minas Tirith and saying it again bought back memories of her. It felt like it somehow opened a door in my mind and caused memories and thoughts of her to flow freely, unlike they had ever done before. I realized what a fool I had been. I should never have left.
"I do not think I should have left her behind," I said finally. "She was to bear a child."
Sam said nothing, only nodded. I think he realised that he had touched on a sensitive subject.
"I did not treat her in the manner she deserved. When I left I thought I did not love her, but now I find myself with feelings I did not know I possessed."
I paused for a time and stared ahead of me, lost in my thoughts. Then I turned and looked at Sam, and let out a laugh when I saw his expression. "I fear that you got more than you bargained for when you asked me about my city. Do you have anyone waiting for you back in the Shire?"
Sam coloured and looked down at his feet. "Well, there is this one lass," he said, stammering slightly.
"Yes?" I prodded, playfully pressing him for answers. I had not done that sort of thing since I had spoken to Faramir, and for a moment I almost felt like I was back with him.
"Her name is Rosie," Sam admitted, blushing crimson. "She is the prettiest hobbit in the Shire, and the nicest too. Too good for me."
I clapped him on the shoulder and climbed to my feet.
"You are a fine hobbit, Samwise. Any lass would be lucky to have you," I said as I looked down at his round face with its big eyes and happy expression. I made as if to say more, but then stopped myself, unsure of what my words should be. In the end I just smiled at him and strode off into the woods.
I felt better after that talk. Speaking of Delérith, for even as little time as that, had cleared my head somewhat of its jumble of thoughts. All I knew now was that I had to get back to Minas Tirith and give her the support she deserved.
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