A/N: This is a dark little fic that popped into my head last night. It's pretty predictable, but I had to get it down. So here it is. Please remember to review. Thanks. : )
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot.
Taking Over Me
She woke with a start, her hand clutching the front of her nightgown as she gasped for air. She'd done it again. She'd been dreaming of him. She hugged her knees to herself. She closed her eyes and let the tears fall smoothly down her porcelain cheeks. She let herself think of him now. She had tried with all her strength to focus on something else, anything else. But now she let her thoughts drift to him, and how he used to be. She remembered how he used to be. Had he forgotten?
You don't remember me
But I, remember you
I lie awake and try so hard
Not to think of you
She pushed the blankets from herself and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She hated that bed. It reminded her too much of where she was. Of who he was. Of what they had had together. She stepped lightly onto the floor, the cold of the stone making her jump. She walked across the floor to the window and sat on the ledge. She brought her feet up to rest on the ledge as well and she let her head fall back to rest against the window frame. She looked out over the grounds below. They were black, just like the rest of her world, the silver moonlight tinting and highlighting and picking out small details. Silver like his eyes. She closed her own tearful eyes and her dreams flew back to her.
But who, can, decide
What they dream?
And dream I do…
In her dream tonight it had been the night he had betrayed them. It was more a memory than a dream. It was more a nightmare than a memory. Everything had been so clear. Everything she hadn't noticed before. And everything had been darker. Better suiting to the moment than it really had been that night. In her dream it had been raining. When it had happened, it had been warm and the stars had been out. In her dream there had been lightning and thunder. When it had happened, you could hear crickets chirping. In her dream he had been thinner, his skin had been ghostly white, his eyes had been sharper, he'd had dark circles under his eyes, his lips had been pale. When it had happened he'd been strong, his cheeks had been flushed, his eyes had been flashing, his lips had been full and rosy. Her nightmare had overtaken her memory. That was how she would always remember him now.
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you
To live
To breathe
You're taking over me
But what if she could bring him back? Or was he too far gone? Part of her believed that if he would let her, she could find deep inside him who he once was. That she could chip away at the ice and stone that surrounded his heart. He had turned into this person, this thing, she couldn't recognize. I love him. Her eyes shot open as the thought flashed itself into her mind. How could she still love him? After all he had done to everyone? After all he had done to her? What he was still doing to her… She needed him. She knew that deep down he was the same person, the same man he once was. He had loved her. Maybe, somewhere, he still did. He just needed to find it.
Have you forgotten all I know
And all we had?
You saw me mourning my love for you
And touched my hand
I knew you loved me then
She looked out her window again. Looked out at the world. She was a prisoner. She was locked away, high in a tower, where none could reach her. No one could save her. Occasionally someone would come in to give her food and make sure she hadn't escaped. She didn't know why they bothered. She had no wand and there were wards all around her room and the tower itself. Hell, wards surrounded the entire grounds. Rarely if ever would he come though. He usually sent others to check on her. It was really her own fault she was where she was now. If she hadn't come for him, if she hadn't come to talk to him, if she hadn't come to save him from himself, she never would have been taken prisoner by him. The last time he had come to check on her in person, she had cried to him. She had begged him to remember. Begged him to remember that he had once loved her and they had once loved each other. That no matter how much he hurt her, she would always love him. Even if he didn't love her. As she sat now, on her window ledge, she remembered herself how they had loved each other. All the happy memories came flooding back to her then, and she cried. He loved me then. But not now.
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you
To live
To breathe
You're taking over me
She slid herself from the windowsill. The floor was still cold as ever under her bare feet and she suddenly crumpled to the floor, a perfect picture of frailty. She sobbed and shook uncontrollably. She clenched her fists around her nightgown and hit the floor in frustration. She hated him. She hated him for everything he had done, for what he had done to her. She hated him for what he had become. And most of all, she hated him because she loved him. She hated loving him. She hated love. Nothing had hurt her more in her life. When she had fallen in love with him, everything had been so wonderful and it seemed that nothing could touch them when they were together. Now everything was terrible and they were farther apart then they had ever been. Everywhere inside her was being torn apart and she felt all of it. Every rip and tear she felt. Every cut and every slice. Nothing could compare to this agony. There was no pain like that which you could not get rid of. There was no pain like that which was brought from the thing you needed the most. And she needed him. He was the last thing in the world she wanted to think about, and he was becoming her obsession. She saw him in every person who came through that door. She saw him every time she looked at the stars. She saw him every time she closed her eyes. She saw him in her dreams, in her nightmares, in her memories. She saw him in herself…
I look in the mirror and see your face
If I look deep enough
So many things inside that are
Just like you
Are taking over
Everything had to do with him. Her every thought, her every wish. Her every desire. Why was he doing this to her? How was he doing this to her? They had been so in love, and then that one night, everything had changed. Her world had disappeared. She had lost everything. Everything except her faith, her hope, and her love. She had faith in their love that it would hold true and he would see and return to her. She had hope that she could bring him back. And she had her love that still connected them, no matter how far the distance he put between them. But now it was all gone. As she knelt in the moonlight on the cold, hard stone, it all disappeared. Her faith, her hope, her will, her strength, her happiness… But the one thing she wanted to lose the most would not let her be. It would not let her smile, or laugh, or rest. It would not let her live. Her love for him was killing her. Her love, the love that had brought her to him, to beg him to leave the Dark Lord and come back to fight for the Good, to fight for them, to fight for her. " I know you still love me," she had said. She had looked into his eyes then and she would never forget what she had seen: nothing. He had been taken from her completely and nothing could bring him back. Not even her. And he had sent her here. To this place. To this tower. To this darkness that surrounded her always. And so she lay on the cold, stone floor, lifeless, yet still alive. And she realized then that she did not love him, she loved who he used to be. She was still in love with the same man as she had always been. She was not in love with this man he had become. She hadn't been able to accept that he had changed, and so to her, he hadn't. And now she did accept it. And the last thing that had been clinging to her heart with such angst, finally let go its fatal grip. And as the last of her life slowly left her, Hermione thought, I couldn't save you. But you saved me. And you'll never know it. Not now. Goodbye, Draco.
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you
To live
To breathe
You're taking over me