This was done on a whim…a total whim. I had a vague thought of what I wanted to do for a humor Naruto fic and this idea popped out. Although I will allow flames, what's the point of doing so? I'm still going to insult you for ignorance and unneeded remarks. As I say all the time, if you have the time to flame, go do something useful, like helping the elderly to cross the streets.

Ah, might I warn you readers that some characters may seem OOC and their subtle personalities will be more pronounced in this fiction. It's just humor, don't get all worked up about it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I just have the first 16 volumes of it. If you are still not aware that this is a fan fiction which expresses someone's idea about a certain material, it's mandatory you learn of it. I don't expect anyone to sue me, for the majority of Naruto fiction readers seem pretty young. Hurts being a minor, doesn't it?

Well, on with the fic.

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"Sasuke."

"No."

"Sasuke."

"NO."

"Sasuke."

"Naruto, if you open that mouth of yours again, I swear I will shove something down your throat other than ramen!"

I'm sure you do, Sasuke.

Naruto abruptly closed his mouth. The whiskered-boy had been begging Sasuke to buy him ramen for the past half hour. Sasuke let out a sigh, half in relief for not having to go bankrupt for another week, and half in regret, for as we all knew, he DID have something he wanted to stick in Naruto's mouth.

I dare you to guess!

"Sasuke…I really want ramen…"

Now the whiskered boy, Naruto, tried the puppy-whimper effect. Tears gleamed in his soft baby blue eyes, and his lips curved into a heartrending pout. His face turned into an unbearably pitiful and poignant state, enough to shoot down a random ninja from the streets.

Would Sasuke, the renowned boy of contempt and hate, fall for this kind of unNaruto-like, I'm-so-cute-you-can't-resist-me, sugar-coated trick?

Alas, he did! A slight twitch of Sasuke's left eyebrow, and the boy slammed down the money for the Ichiraku to take. He then ran his fingers through his coarse hair, dreading having to go through the humiliation of begging his psycho brother Itachi for money again. Naruto, oblivious to Sasuke's mental torture, cheered and gave Sasuke a light hug. A new romance blossomed in Konoha.

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"Ah, that was a good meal…"

Naruto let out a sigh of contentment as Sasuke sorrowfully counted his remaining few coins. One yen. Not enough to even afford matches. And definitely not enough to pay this month's rent. The poor boy, he got seizures from just thinking of his other debts!

And then a thought, preferably nasty, ran through Sasuke's head.

I can stay with Naruto. He smiled.

Temporarily. Heincluded the last word after realizing how sinful he had sounded. Obviously, the boy had more than just mild lovey-dovey thoughts gushing through his head. At the age of twelve too…., a bit too young for the average boy to go into puberty. Well, the Uchiha excelled in numerous things, the hormonal processes constituted one of their overachieving qualities, supposedly.

"Hey Naruto…" Sasuke cleared his throat. He didn't want to sound too cocky when suggesting such an ambiguous question. He started again, suddenly lowering his voice for a more…suave yet masculine feel.

"Could I…stay in your house for awhile?"

Naruto turned around and raised an eyebrow. His expression was somewhat of a dog caught urinating in his owner's garden.

"Sasuke…are you planning to…" Sasuke cursed inwardly. Damn, he figured out my plan! He gulped, having difficulty keeping the aloof look up as he always did. Well, the second part of it, anyway…

"…are you planning to train with me? Sure! You don't even have to ask!" Naruto finished, a grateful smile on his face.

Dunce child, dunce child. Sasuke contemplated whether or not to choke Naruto and strangle the boy to death until he would realize Sasuke's true motivation. Until Naruto would realize the all those hidden and often serendipitous moments they shared: the kiss, the rivalry, the numerous times they saved each other, the jealous looks Sasuke sent Naruto whenever he hit on Sakura, and nearly everything else that slightly hinted at a possible homosexual relationship between the two and if it meant absolutely nothing to him.

But Sasuke ceased in doing so, realizing he'd sound dumb and such complex ideals would not penetrate through Naruto's excessively thick skull.

"Ah…well…Naruto…"

"Well then! Let's go to my house! Yay!" With that, Naruto possessively clasped Sasuke's hand and embarked on a journey to his apartment, draggin the destitute boy along with him.

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Already nightfall. Lots of heavy breathing. Two sweaty bodies all over each other. And Naruto on bottom.

"Sasuke…we're a-almost there…just…FIVE MORE MILES!"

Sasuke groaned, certainly not pleased having Naruto carry him on his small back. Sasuke's body had given up halfway to Naruto's apartment, and Naruto had to carry the older boy from then on.

"We're here!" Chirped Naruto.

Sasuke became momentarily stunned. How did they travel five miles so fast?

"Naruto, do you know how many feet there are in five miles?" Innocently asked Sasuke.

"Five!" Naruto replied.

Sasuke feared the increasing mental deterioration in Naruto.

Naruto opened the door to his tiny studio apartment. It was quite small, but comfy for someone like our fox boy.

"Sasuke, Sasuke! Let's go out and train, kay?" Eagerly asked Naruto.

"Naruto…it's kind late. Let's go to sleep." Sasuke wandered around to explore new territory before gently sitting on Naruto's bed.

Of course that's a lie. Sasuke thought, a suspicious grin forming on his face. I need time to figure out how to convey my feelings for Naruto in an indirect kind of way. Without being too open.

Naruto looked troubled, before coming around to sit next to Sasuke on his comfy bed.

"Well…Sasuke, that's fine with me. But you know that I only have one bed, right?"

Sasuke looked at the small twin bed. The bed was too small for even him to fit in. But with two people!

"Good night Sasuke!" Naruto climbed into his bed, mysteriously having changed into his pajamas while Sasuke wasn't looking. Sasuke regretted this.

"Uh…good night." Sasuke said, removing only accessories for he forgot to bring a change of clothes with him. Sasuke gingerly pulled down the bed covers as not to wake the already deep in slumber Naruto and to stay as far away from him as possible.

All right, all right, as long as I don't face him or touch him, I won't do anything…bad. Sasuke flinched as his back touched Naruto's. Hopefully. Already feeling funny, he started to dread what he might do to Naruto in his sleep.

"Mmmm…miso ramen…" Naruto muttered, rubbing his head tenderly on Sasuke's back, his arms tightly wrapped around Sasuke's waist.

Sasuke remained quiet, sweat pouring down him like never-ending waterfalls.

"What…you want to…scratch my whiskers? Go ahead…" Naruto muttered again in his sleep, his head digging even harder to Sasuke's back. Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut, hoping he wouldn't do anything to Naruto.

I won't respond to what he does! I won't! Sasuke mentally screamed in his head. We laugh at his foolish attempt.

"Sasuke…that feels…good…"

This night was going to be harder than he thought.

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Whimsical….I must say. Reviews are up to you. But then again, you know what authors want.

09/14/05 Edit: Fixed formatting, included story breaks (which were ominously omitted through uploading), fixed a few minor story errors. Internet readability is 100!