"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
-William Shakespeare, Hamlet
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any recognizable characters and/or places thereof.
Helen T: Please don't. Don't hurt yourself, I mean, it seems such an easy solution but there are people who care about you, and bullies are really just insecure. Even if it feels like there is no one who cares, there may well be someone you cannot see--me, for one. So please just remember that bullies are like flamers: insecure people who need to tease another to feel good about themselves.
Saera: Score! You finally said more than "More now"! Lol, sorry, I don't mean any offense. Good hearing from you!
Liz: Thank you.
Lady of the Forest: Heh heh, thanks, and I have posted more! The twins are adults, but the type of adult that never forgets how to be a child, if you know what I mean.
*****
"Ada?"
Elrond looked up in surprise to see his twins standing in the doorway to Estel's room, their hands clasped together for comfort or perhaps for fear. He had forgotten about them, for the time, and the last thing he expected was for them to interrupt as he sought for the proper thing to do about poor Estel. "Yes?" he asked.
"May we speak to Estel a moment please?" Elladan asked.
At first Elrond was uncertain, and felt very protective of Estel and unwilling to allow anyone else access to the boy. Then he came to his senses. These were Estel's brothers, after all, and they knew him as well as anyone. "Of course."
*****
Six weeks passed. Estel would not have known it, had he not been reminded, but the anniversary of his birth came and went, and he was ten and two years old and felt none the better for it. But that was just it: Estel was beginning to feel better about himself. Whenever trouble came to him, whenever he had those strange feelings of unexplained anger that he was sure no one else felt, he took a little blood from himself, and was content.
One night, as Estel returned to his room after a long day spent mostly imitating twists and spins of swordplay, the sun sank below the line of trees and the moon began to rise. Estel lit a candle, only one, but with so much light from the moon the room was alight. He set the candle on the dresser and stood before the mirror. With slow fingers Estel unbuttoned his shirt, staring into his own eyes as he began with the collar. His limbs felt slow and heavy as Estel shrugged off his shirt, allowing it to fall lifelessly to the floor. Now he felt completely naked, despite his pants and undershirt, which sufficed to cover only his stomach and chest. His arms, covered all over with worms of pink, healing, scaly skin, evoked a certain pride within him.
"You manage yourself now," the Voice said. "No longer do your emotions rule you, and no longer do you earn a place in the negative opinions of the others you cannot stop caring about." This last bit was added with scorn, as though Estel ought to be able to simply shut off his feelings altogether.
It is difficult to say whether Estel ignored the scorn, or simply did not take notice it. He said simply, "Yes." His voice was without emotion, almost empty, as though he would have agreed to anything the Voice said.
Of course, Estel's eyes departed from their mirrored twins in good time, and he then changed from his daytime clothing for the loose tunic of night. Half-heartedly Estel kicked his dirty clothes into the pile, which had developed since the day he gave up the hope of ever being able to get on without his knife. And, as he had every day since he began learning the art of the sword and sweating more water than he knew how to drink (he had learned, of course), Estel collapsed into bed beneath the coverlet, which he kicked off every night in his sleep.
But although Estel rested, those Elves that he "could not stop caring about" had their own worries to keep them up. Elladan, who had always taken the role of eldest very seriously, noticed the changes in the youngest: his quietness, his solitude. Estel had always had a peculiar habit of being optimistic about everything. He might show up at supper one night with a two black eyes, one old one new, and say, "Look, Ada, I'm symmetrical!" for the application of knowledge was another thing that greatly pleased him. Now, if he spoke, it was never so pleasant. He had developed an odd habit of bathing daily, as opposed to his usual once-in-a-month, or perhaps once- in-a-week routine. What was going on? Elladan could not help but worry, and it kept him awake nightly.
Elrohir suspected that Estel had simply, somehow, awakened to the darkness of the world around him, for Elrohir was not driven by any such paternal instinct as Elladan, and had spent much time brooding, which resulted in a rather pessimistic attitude. However, Elrohir worried for Elladan, who sometimes carried his worry for others too far and forgot himself and his own well being. As far as this worry went, Elrohir did not know what to do but look out, so that Elladan remembered that there were supposed to be three meals a day, not three a week, and that the world still revolved no matter how strange Estel became.
Elladan, not to be outdone, noticed his twin's forgetting to eat and such. "Elrohir," Elladan had prodded at supper that night, "you should eat something." Elrohir was somewhat easier to lend a hand to, as Elladan could depend upon him to be mature and, with an occasional reminder, care for himself.
Elrond had more trouble than the others, being not a brother but a father, and having, in place of brotherly companions, children. Despite Elladan and Elrohir being adults of their own now, Elrond had not given up gently directing them and trying to shape their characters. And, of course, looking after them. Estel was more of a concern than the twins, for while they had one to care for another, Estel had only himself, and was not old enough to look after himself. Unfortunately, he was at that age when all children reject their parents, and while Elrond had the skill of subtlety to prod Estel in the right direction, Estel no longer seemed to hear him at all, for Estel was slipping a bit.
The next morning, Estel leapt from his bed with a happy mood he had not felt in a decent while. His eyes moved over his possession, strewn about the room, and he was disappointed. "Clothes first," he said, but he did not mean to don any. Instead he located the cloth bag that he used to use to contain clothes too dirty to wear again without washing. Then he lifted each soiled item and placed it in the bag. Once this was finished, the floor had nearly become visible again.
At breakfast none of the four looked as usual. Elrohir, Elladan, and Elrond had dark smudges beneath their eyes, for none had slept the night before, and their movements were slow and slothly. Estel had neglected to dress, not on purpose but simply out of the hunger of hours spent cleaning his room. So one sweaty, flushed, smiling, pyjama-clad boy and three tired, confused-looking Elves convened as the oddest group of fast-breakers in all of Arda.
Suddenly, though, things were well again. Estel's smile set into motion a chain of events so very good that the sadness of the past was nearly forgotten. Estel was more pleased than ever: the ones he could not help but love were happy, and he had himself completely under control.
-William Shakespeare, Hamlet
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any recognizable characters and/or places thereof.
Helen T: Please don't. Don't hurt yourself, I mean, it seems such an easy solution but there are people who care about you, and bullies are really just insecure. Even if it feels like there is no one who cares, there may well be someone you cannot see--me, for one. So please just remember that bullies are like flamers: insecure people who need to tease another to feel good about themselves.
Saera: Score! You finally said more than "More now"! Lol, sorry, I don't mean any offense. Good hearing from you!
Liz: Thank you.
Lady of the Forest: Heh heh, thanks, and I have posted more! The twins are adults, but the type of adult that never forgets how to be a child, if you know what I mean.
*****
"Ada?"
Elrond looked up in surprise to see his twins standing in the doorway to Estel's room, their hands clasped together for comfort or perhaps for fear. He had forgotten about them, for the time, and the last thing he expected was for them to interrupt as he sought for the proper thing to do about poor Estel. "Yes?" he asked.
"May we speak to Estel a moment please?" Elladan asked.
At first Elrond was uncertain, and felt very protective of Estel and unwilling to allow anyone else access to the boy. Then he came to his senses. These were Estel's brothers, after all, and they knew him as well as anyone. "Of course."
*****
Six weeks passed. Estel would not have known it, had he not been reminded, but the anniversary of his birth came and went, and he was ten and two years old and felt none the better for it. But that was just it: Estel was beginning to feel better about himself. Whenever trouble came to him, whenever he had those strange feelings of unexplained anger that he was sure no one else felt, he took a little blood from himself, and was content.
One night, as Estel returned to his room after a long day spent mostly imitating twists and spins of swordplay, the sun sank below the line of trees and the moon began to rise. Estel lit a candle, only one, but with so much light from the moon the room was alight. He set the candle on the dresser and stood before the mirror. With slow fingers Estel unbuttoned his shirt, staring into his own eyes as he began with the collar. His limbs felt slow and heavy as Estel shrugged off his shirt, allowing it to fall lifelessly to the floor. Now he felt completely naked, despite his pants and undershirt, which sufficed to cover only his stomach and chest. His arms, covered all over with worms of pink, healing, scaly skin, evoked a certain pride within him.
"You manage yourself now," the Voice said. "No longer do your emotions rule you, and no longer do you earn a place in the negative opinions of the others you cannot stop caring about." This last bit was added with scorn, as though Estel ought to be able to simply shut off his feelings altogether.
It is difficult to say whether Estel ignored the scorn, or simply did not take notice it. He said simply, "Yes." His voice was without emotion, almost empty, as though he would have agreed to anything the Voice said.
Of course, Estel's eyes departed from their mirrored twins in good time, and he then changed from his daytime clothing for the loose tunic of night. Half-heartedly Estel kicked his dirty clothes into the pile, which had developed since the day he gave up the hope of ever being able to get on without his knife. And, as he had every day since he began learning the art of the sword and sweating more water than he knew how to drink (he had learned, of course), Estel collapsed into bed beneath the coverlet, which he kicked off every night in his sleep.
But although Estel rested, those Elves that he "could not stop caring about" had their own worries to keep them up. Elladan, who had always taken the role of eldest very seriously, noticed the changes in the youngest: his quietness, his solitude. Estel had always had a peculiar habit of being optimistic about everything. He might show up at supper one night with a two black eyes, one old one new, and say, "Look, Ada, I'm symmetrical!" for the application of knowledge was another thing that greatly pleased him. Now, if he spoke, it was never so pleasant. He had developed an odd habit of bathing daily, as opposed to his usual once-in-a-month, or perhaps once- in-a-week routine. What was going on? Elladan could not help but worry, and it kept him awake nightly.
Elrohir suspected that Estel had simply, somehow, awakened to the darkness of the world around him, for Elrohir was not driven by any such paternal instinct as Elladan, and had spent much time brooding, which resulted in a rather pessimistic attitude. However, Elrohir worried for Elladan, who sometimes carried his worry for others too far and forgot himself and his own well being. As far as this worry went, Elrohir did not know what to do but look out, so that Elladan remembered that there were supposed to be three meals a day, not three a week, and that the world still revolved no matter how strange Estel became.
Elladan, not to be outdone, noticed his twin's forgetting to eat and such. "Elrohir," Elladan had prodded at supper that night, "you should eat something." Elrohir was somewhat easier to lend a hand to, as Elladan could depend upon him to be mature and, with an occasional reminder, care for himself.
Elrond had more trouble than the others, being not a brother but a father, and having, in place of brotherly companions, children. Despite Elladan and Elrohir being adults of their own now, Elrond had not given up gently directing them and trying to shape their characters. And, of course, looking after them. Estel was more of a concern than the twins, for while they had one to care for another, Estel had only himself, and was not old enough to look after himself. Unfortunately, he was at that age when all children reject their parents, and while Elrond had the skill of subtlety to prod Estel in the right direction, Estel no longer seemed to hear him at all, for Estel was slipping a bit.
The next morning, Estel leapt from his bed with a happy mood he had not felt in a decent while. His eyes moved over his possession, strewn about the room, and he was disappointed. "Clothes first," he said, but he did not mean to don any. Instead he located the cloth bag that he used to use to contain clothes too dirty to wear again without washing. Then he lifted each soiled item and placed it in the bag. Once this was finished, the floor had nearly become visible again.
At breakfast none of the four looked as usual. Elrohir, Elladan, and Elrond had dark smudges beneath their eyes, for none had slept the night before, and their movements were slow and slothly. Estel had neglected to dress, not on purpose but simply out of the hunger of hours spent cleaning his room. So one sweaty, flushed, smiling, pyjama-clad boy and three tired, confused-looking Elves convened as the oddest group of fast-breakers in all of Arda.
Suddenly, though, things were well again. Estel's smile set into motion a chain of events so very good that the sadness of the past was nearly forgotten. Estel was more pleased than ever: the ones he could not help but love were happy, and he had himself completely under control.