Reality Bytes
A "My Life as a Teenage Robot" Fanfic
Chapter Three – The Grass Is Always Greener
Drew stared at the television, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. "I thought I saw them both run into a building – then the screen just flashed 'Level Complete'! What just happened? Where are they?"
Tuck tapped his chin. "Looks like they finished the jungle game-world, and they're heading for the next one. I thought Jenny was in big hurry to get in and get out! What, so now she's going to hang around and play the game too? No fair!"
"Jenny's not in there to play games." Drew looked over at Brad and Jenny's motionless bodies, lying on the couch. "So what's the next game-world?"
"After Jungle World comes … umm … Post-Apocalyptic City."
"Wow, sounds lovely." He looked at the television. "Come on guys, get out of there."
The white light pulsed with almost blinding intensity, then quickly faded away. The dark greens of the jungle were replaced with the grays and browns of broken brick and concrete. With a final sharp crack, their bodies coalesced back into solid form. Brad and Jenny were standing in front of a bombed-out public library, looking out on a war-torn city street that was littered with burned-out cars and broken glass. The sky was blotted out by the silhouettes of gray, decaying skyscrapers.
Brad grinned, and rubbed his hands together. "All right Jenny, get ready for action! It's five years after World War Six, and the only thing standing between the world and total anarchy is … yours truly! And, you too, of course."
Jenny buried her head in her hands. "Brad, you idiot! I don't believe it … now we're lost in here!"
"Pffft! We're not lost," laughed Brad. "All we gotta do is …"
Jenny grabbed Brad by the shoulders, and shook him to get his attention. "Forget about the game. Forget about the stupid game, will you?" she said angrily. "You're in danger. Real danger. Out in the real world. Remember the real world? Not this play world, where you're running around like a three year old. The one where you're lying on the couch with a bucket on your head, drooling on your chin!"
Brad pulled away, a little shocked, and a little upset. "What are you talking about? I can't be in any real danger here."
"My mom's virtual reality helmet! It causes brain damage the longer you wear it. I've been trying to tell you," she growled.
"B-brain damage? … but I feel fine, Jen. Are you sure?"
Jenny didn't answer him. She cupped her hands to her mouth and shouted into the air, "Operating System! Ozzie! We need you!"
Brad jumped back in surprise as a disk of green light flashed on the ground in front of him, and a figure rose up out of the ground. A figure that looked like Drew, dressed up as a plumber. He had his fingers stuck in his ears. "Fer cryin' out loud, lady, knock it off! You think I live on the moon or somethin'? I can hears ya just fine!"
"Ha, ha! Look at this!" laughed Brad. "Drew, after you're done unclogging the sink, do you want to …"
"Brad, this is Ozzie," explained Jenny. "He's the operating system that runs the computers inside Drew's body. I know, I know … it's a little strange. Look, we need an exit port back to the outside. So we can get back into our own brains!"
"I already showed you the exit port." Ozzie looked around, taking in their surroundings. "Heh, heh. I guess dames really are bad with directions. You're not even close to it! What do ya think you're doing?"
"Arrrghhh …." Jenny ignored the remark, and tried to calm down. "We're in a different world now. It was an accident. A stupid one," she said, glaring at Brad. "We need an exit port, here."
Ozzie rubbed his chin. "Hmmm. Might take some doin'." He saw the shocked look on Jenny's face, and continued. "Look, this fella here …", he pointed to Brad, "… his brain is already starting to get all blended in with the game software. It's gonna take me a little time to round up all the pieces."
Brad tugged at his collar. "I don't like hearing the words 'brain' and 'blended' in the same sentence."
Ozzie shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, figure you've been in here, what, thirty-nine minutes? The longer ya stay, the harder it'll be to get you out. You too, lady. Tells ya what … I'm going to have to put the exit port at the end of this here world."
"At the enemy camp?" Brad protested. "That's crawling with mercenaries! Why do you have to put it there?"
"'Cause it's already a natural connection – from this world to the next. All I gots to do just re-route yas to the outside, and voila," Ozzie said, waving a pipe wrench. "You get started now, and I'll have it done by the time you get there." And with that, Ozzie faded into translucent green photons, and sunk into the ground.
Jenny folded her arms, and gave Brad a foul look, tapping her foot.
"Okay, now, before you start, how was I supposed to know that the helmet was dangerous?" asked Brad, trying to defend himself.
"It takes control of your brain. That doesn't sound dangerous?" She flung her arms in the air. "And now we have to go through this whole city, looking for the way out!"
Brad smiled back at her confidently. "Okay, so? We zip to the enemy camp, open a can of hurt on some cybernetic mercenaries, walk through the exit port and we're home free. No problem!"
"Right. No problem," she said sarcastically. "Do you even know the way there?"
"I've played on this world lots of times. It's in the biggest skyscraper in town. Can't miss it."
"Fine," she huffed. Jenny rotated her pigtails to flight mode, and deployed her wings and booster rockets. "Just hold onto my back, and I'll have us there in no time."
"That won't be necessary, Jen," grinned Brad.
He tapped a button on the front of the giant shoulder pads he was wearing. With a shudder and a whine, metallic sections started to extend down his arms, and envelop his hands in oversize gloves. More sections started snapping in place around his torso, and continued down his legs, unfolding into a pair of large metal boots that came up to his knees. A helmet clamped onto his head, and an orange-tinted visor dropped down in front of his eyes. Brad was now enveloped in robotic body armor, from head to toe.
"Behold the secret weapon," he laughed. "The Exo-Suit 500-D! The 'D' stands for … dangerous!"
"I don't believe you," groaned Jenny. "Will you stop worrying about playing the stupid game, already!"
"Hey, when in Rome, Jen. Besides, this is the fastest way to the skyscraper. Oh man, this is awesome beyond words!" Brad flexed and walked around in the robot suit, testing it out.
"Brad, that toy isn't going to help us."
"So you think it's a toy, huh? Then just try and keep up with me!"
Brad leaned forward slightly, and a large panel opened up in the armor on his back. Two rocket motors unfolded and deployed, then roared to life with searing orange flame. "Woo-hoooo!!" He punched the air dramatically with his fist, and shot into the sky, soaring upwards towards the crumbling office towers.
Jenny just stared up at him for a few seconds, shaking her head.
She revved the turbines in her pigtails up to power. "The last thing I want is to lose track of him again," she groaned. Her pigtail-jets ignited along with her booster rockets, and she flew into the air after Brad and his exo-suit. She actually had to nudge up her thruster power to catch up with him.
Brad rocketed through the sky of the burned-out city, fifty feet above the broken streets of the ruined metropolis. Walls of mangled steel and shattered glass flashed by on either side of him, almost too fast to be seen by the human eye. It may have been a virtual world, but Brad could feel his heartbeat quicken from the adrenaline rush. He slalomed around the looming towers, going faster and faster.
Jenny finally started gaining on him, but all the weaving and swerving was starting to annoy her. I'm trying to save his life, and he's up there goofing around in that robot suit. She put on a burst of speed, and finally caught up to Brad.
"Brad!" she shouted over to him. "Will you quit kidding around?"
"Hey hey!" he laughed. "Long time no see, slowpoke!"
"We'll get out of here faster if we fly straight instead of doing all this twisting and turning!" Jenny reached over and grabbed the back of Brad's exo-suit. The she pulled into a climb, carrying him high above the buildings and skyscrapers.
Brad was caught by surprise, but he recovered and shook himself free of Jenny's grip. "What is your problem today, Jenny?" he asked angrily, hovering a few feet in front of her.
"What's the big idea zigzagging all over the place like a maniac?"
"I know what I'm doing, Jen. What's the matter, can't keep up with me?"
"We'll get to the exit portal faster if we fly straight. Smarten up!"
"We shouldn't fly way up here. And stop talking to me like I'm a little kid!"
"No problem, once you stop acting like it!"
"Jenny, the reason we can't fly up high is …"
He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence. A stream of heavy gunfire started flying in their direction, first from one rooftop, then two, then eight. The video game characters were "intelligent" enough to recognize them as a threat, and alert each other to their presence. It didn't take long for a couple of pulses of violet laser fire to find their target, knocking Brad and Jenny out of the sky. They plummeted straight towards the roof of a mid-sized office building, and smashed right through it. They plowed through two more floors, finally coming to rest in a plain-looking office lobby, now filled with dust, smoke, and chunks of debris.
Brad sat up, picked a ceiling tile off of his face, and glared angrily at Jenny. "… the reason we can't fly up high is because there are guns on every rooftop. Just thought you'd like to know! I told you I've played this game lots of times!"
Jenny slowly got to her feet, and deployed a hand broom from her wrist to dust herself off. "All right, all right, you're the big video game expert. I should have listened to you. I'm sooo sorry."
Brad shouted with frustration. "Augh! Okay, what do you want? Do you want me to say I'm sorry that we're both stuck in here? Fine. I'm sorry. Do you want me to say it's all my fault? It's all my fault! There, I said it!"
Jenny glared back at him. "This never would have happened if we'd all just gone outside like I wanted to, instead of playing your stupid game."
"Well, when we get out of this stupid game," Brad said in a low voice, "you can go sledding until your circuits freeze over. Maybe that'll make you happy."
They exchanged cold, angry stares, and said nothing for a few moments.
"Let's go find the exit port," snarled Brad.
"The sooner the better," Jenny answered frigidly.
Now that the game characters were alerted to an approach from the air, Jenny and Brad stuck to the streets of the city, sneaking along the roads and back alleys, drawing closer to the tallest skyscraper in the city, where the enemy base – and the portal to the real world – resided. They were focusing on speed, and had managed to avoid most of the mercenaries, but there was a major intersection just ahead, and it was patrolled by laser-toting outlaws on motorcycles. They were going to have to fight their way through – after all, this was a video game, and the game was trying to give them opponents to fight.
Brad peeked over the hood of a broken-down car, counting the bikers. "Twelve of them. If we attack at the same time, it confuses them. And we have to get them all, or else the survivors will go for help. Understand?" It was the first words they'd exchanged in a while.
Jenny gave him a cold stare and didn't answer. She deployed her lasers from her elbows. Brad's robotic exo-suit deployed a pair of short laser cannons from his wrist housings. "Now," he said.
They leapt from their hiding place with guns blasting, vaporizing enemies into virtual electrons. Four of the bikers went down instantly. Half of the rest roared towards Jenny, and started circling her. She stretched an arm out, and grabbed the huge motorbike out from under the massive biker, sending him flying through the air. The other bikers pulled out maces and started swinging them menacingly. Jenny used the motorcycle in her hands like a club, and flattened the rest of the bikers in a matter of seconds.
The four bikers who attacked Brad came at him with shotguns blazing. The shotgun blasts bounced harmlessly off of his armor. There was a burnt-out armored police van sitting at the side of the intersection. He dodged a charge from one biker, and made it to the police van in one power-assisted jump. He ripped off the side of the van in his hands, and used it like a shield. With the laser cannon in his other hand, he blasted the tires on the four bikes, and they crashed to a halt on top of one another. Brad grinned, lifted the rest of the police van over his head, and hurled it on top of the pile of downed bikers. All twelve bikers taken care of.
Jenny started to run up the street – they were only two blocks away from the skyscraper – but Brad called her over, pointing to the sky. They could hear hovercraft approaching. "Shock Patrols," he explained. "They saw the commotion. They're dangerous. We should lie low for a minute or two."
They ran into a nearby deserted restaurant, and kept in the shadows as searchlights swept the street below. Jenny saw that Brad had a huge grin on his face. Brad noticed her watching him. He was still miffed at her, but –
"I've always wanted to know what that feels like," he said.
Jenny was trying to stay mad too, but curiosity got the better of her. "Like what feels like?"
"Bullets bouncing off my chest. Kickin' butt and takin' names." He started grinning wider, despite himself. "Being stronger than everybody else. Why do you think I love video games so much?"
Brad sat on the floor, and sighed. Jenny knelt down and crossed her legs. "Jenny," he said, "I like video games because they're about a thousand times more exciting than what passes for my excuse of a life. When Drew told me about the virtual reality helmet, I knew I had to play this game – this particular game – because of this thing." He tapped on his metallic chest plate. "The game's robotic exo-suit. It's so real in here – all the sensations and feelings are so real. Flying through the city. Tossing a nine-ton van like a baseball! It's the closest I'll ever get to knowing what it feels like to be a super-powered robot … like you."
Jenny was a little taken back. It wasn't what she expected to hear.
"All the weapons, all the powers. Knowing what it feels like to be strong, and powerful, and never being afraid of anything. Knowing that you can handle absolutely anything that comes at you. Knowing that you're special … like you are, Jen." His head sunk a bit. "Anyways, I suppose it does sound pretty lame, now that I've said it. After all, it's just make-believe."
They were quiet for a few moments, as a pair of hovercraft whined by overhead.
Brad reached for a compartment in his exo-suit, and pulled out a pair of white bottles with red crosses on them. "It's a bottle of health. That's how the game lets you heal damage after a fight. Here." He tossed one over to her.
Brad glugged his bottle dry in a few seconds. "Huh! It tastes like a vanilla milkshake."
Jenny looked at her bottle suspiciously, then poured it in her mouth. When she finished, her pigtails drooped, and she looked down at the floor. "Mine doesn't taste like anything. Even in here."
She fidgeted with the empty bottle in her hands. "Brad, I guess I'm sort of flattered that you think I'm special. But I can't imagine why you'd ever want to be like me. All I want is to be normal, like you. Or at least to know what it's like to be normal. I'd trade every rocket and laser in my body to know – that this stuff tasted like a vanilla milkshake."
Jenny closed her eyes, and wrapped her hands around her knees, clutching them to her chest. "You and Tuck are so excited about this game – your Christmas present. I keep hearing everyone talk about what they want for Christmas. Do you know what I want for Christmas?"
She paused a moment, then continued. "I hear people talk, about how wonderful the smell of fresh cooked turkey is, or the taste of Christmas cookies, or even the feeling of snow down the back of your neck. And I realize that I'll never, ever know what any of that feels like. But at Christmas, I always get this … I get this crazy idea that maybe, just maybe, the next time I catch a snowflake on my tongue, I'll actually be able to taste it. Then next time a cold breeze blows on my face, maybe I'll actually be able feel it. The next time I see a wreath of pine braches on a door, maybe this time, I'll actually be able to smell it." The corner of her mouth quivered a bit. "And every Christmas, I get disappointed. I guess it's really pretty silly."
Brad was a little confused. "Is that why you were so hung up on going sledding? You were hoping to feel the snow and smell the trees? Jen, I thought you got over this after the whole pain/tickle thing. Sure, snow on your face feels kind of neat, but frostbite on your toes feels lousy."
"It's not the snow, or the food, or the trees … it's the feeling that people seem to get from it this time of year. I can't even figure out what it is. I don't even know what I want to feel!" Tears welled up in Jenny's eyes, and she slumped back against the wall. "For me – Christmas is all about watching other people be happy together, and knowing that it's something that's never going to happen to me."
Brad couldn't offer anything more than a sympathetic look. "Jen, I wish I could say that I understood. All I know is, my best friend is depressed at Christmas, and I'll do whatever I can to make things better. Maybe my folks will invite you and your mom over for Christmas dinner."
Jenny smiled at the idea. "My mom, at Christmas dinner. She'd probably run a chemical analysis on the turkey instead of eating it. No, Mom says that 'Evil does not take holidays, and neither shall we!' But thanks for the thought, anyway."
He glanced out the windows, and saw that the hovercraft had wandered off. "Looks like the air patrols are gone. One last attack, and we'll be on our way home." He smirked at Jenny. "Shouldn't be a problem for the amazing team of Jenny and … the Brad-inator." He flexed his metallic arms, hamming it up for her. "Hasta la vista, bay-bee. Come with me iff you vant to live."
She laughed – it was hard to stay mad at him. "Let's get going, then."
Drew rocked back and forth nervously, as if pure willpower could help speed Brad and Jenny along towards the end of the game. "Man, they've been in there over an hour. Where's the end of this level? What's the hold-up?"
Tuck folded his arms. "Y'know, if I was the one wearing the helmet, I would've already been out by now. Brad always has trouble finishing this level. Even with the robot suit."
"I feel as useless as a …" He was cut off by a loud, ominous creaking sound. It seemed to come from the roof.
Tuck clutched onto a sofa pillow. "Wh-wh-what was that?"
"Relax, Tuck. I think it's just the wind. Is it still snowing out?"
"Yeah, I think so." He ran over to the big window and climbed up on a footstool to look outside. Tree branches were starting to sway back and forth, and there was four inches of snow on the roads. "Wow, it's really starting to come down out there!"
Brad and Jenny had snuck up to the third story of the building directly across from the giant skyscraper. Her eyes were extended outward like telescopes, surveying the area below. The plaza was filled with overturned vehicles and scattered oil-drum fires, and over a hundred ragtag mercenaries. There were four gray, rusting tanks parked in what used to be a fountain, their engines rumbling at the ready, their barrels pointed outward. The skyscraper was gaudily decorated with floodlights and neon signs. Small groups of mercenaries were enjoying rowdy celebrations, tossing bottles into the air, and shooting burnt-out cars for target practice.
"A-ha," she declared, "I think I found what we're looking for." Amongst the graffiti sprayed on the walls of the skyscraper's entrance, there was a small, green flashing neon sign with an arrow which read "Club Ozzie – Room 42."
She rolled her eyes. "Even Drew's operating system has a weird sense of humor. Ready, Brad?"
Doors slid open on the exo-suit's wrists and boots, deploying lasers and flamethrowers. A small missile rack sprung up from Brad's back, and pointed over his head. He lowered the visor down over his eyes. "Let's rock and roll, Jen." Despite himself, he giggled. "This is gonna be so cool!"
"Oh, please – robot rookie," she chuckled back.
Two pairs of rocket motors ignited, and the two robots roared out of the office building with lasers blasting. Since this was the end of a game-world, the mercenaries were alert, and returned fire immediately. Shafts of sizzling laser fire screamed through the sky around them as they swooped down, picking off computerized opponents. Jenny deployed two huge loudspeakers from her pigtails, and unleashed a crippling wave of ultrasonic pulses on the crowd below. The mercenaries dropped to their knees, dazed, with their hands over their ears.
The tanks were still fine though, and one of them swung its long gun barrel around. It fired a glowing plasma ball that ripped through the air between Brad and Jenny. The other three tanks followed, and started to rumble out of the broken fountain, looking for maneuvering room. "We need to take care of the tanks first!" shouted Brad.
Jenny swung her arms together, and they quickly combined and unfolded into a large deflector panel. One of the tanks fired another plasma ball at her. Jenny's deflector struck back with a massive magnetic pulse. The plasma ball stopped in mid-air, and reversed course, blowing up the tank that had fired the shot.
"Swe-ee-eet!" shouted Brad. "I wanna do one!" He flew around and landed on top of the turret of the furthest tank from behind. It was aiming at Jenny, and was just about to unleash another plasma ball at her. Just as it fired, Brad jumped and pushed down on the barrel of the tank's gun, pointing it directly at the back end of the tank just in front of it. The plasma ball meant for Jenny ripped into the tank instead. It mushroomed into the sky on a column of spectacular flame.
Jenny dropped to the ground, directly behind the only other remaining tank. It tried to drive forward, but Jenny grabbed onto the back of its chassis, holding it in place. Its heavy treads spun up chunks up pavement, but it still couldn't move. She looked over at Brad, and shouted, "Come on, Brad, you know you want to!"
Brad somersaulted backwards until he was directly behind his tank too. Mustering all the power the exo-suit could provide, he lodged his hands underneath the tank's body. Brad grit his teeth, grunted, and heaved with all his robotically enhanced might. The massive tank flipped over onto its side, then tumbled over upside-down, its treads spinning helplessly in the air. Jenny lofted her tank into the air, too. It flipped over three times, and landed on top of Brad's tank.
Brad grinned at her. "Show-off!" She laughed, and stuck her tongue out at him.
A new wave of laser fire reminded them that there were still plenty of game opponents to fight through, but the tanks were gone now, and they had a major advantage. They didn't care about scoring points or winning the game. They just needed to get to the door of Club Ozzie, which – hopefully – was the exit port that Drew's operating system had set up for them.
"Got an idea," said Jenny. She ripped the turret off of one of the burning tanks, and lifted it over her head. "Let's get inside! We have to find Room 42." Brad took care of the mercenaries with his lasers, while Jenny ran behind, holding a ten-ton tank turret over her head. As they ran inside, she dropped the turret behind them, sealing off the entrance to the skyscraper.
"Pretty slick, Jen," smiled Brad. "There's another arrow up ahead!" A pointing green neon sign read "Club Ozzie This Way."
The lobby was filled with more partying bikers and mercenaries, all packing serious hardware. In such close quarters, Brad and Jenny couldn't help but take some laser hits, but they still dished out more than they took. Jenny leveled one half of the lobby with a blast of wind from huge propellers in her elbows. Brad launched tear-gas grenades that had the rest of the rowdies doubled over in agony.
They turned the corner, following the neon sign. Room thirty-six … room thirty-eight …
Jenny saw a familiar face, and grinned with triumph. Ozzie was standing just ahead of them, in his plumber's outfit and ball cap, with his plunger slung over his shoulder. "Well, ya took yer own sweet time getting' here," he moaned. "Whadja do, stop for cheeseburgers?"
Brad took a deep breath, and laughed. "Well, it's been pretty amazing. I'd love to stay and chat, Ozzie, but there's about three dozen post-apocalyptic bikers right behind us."
"Sure, whatever," said Ozzie. "Now, here's what ya gotta do. It's simple. Go inside, an' there's two green doors. The lady goes to the left, and you goes to the …"
Ozzie froze, and flickered on and off like a bad television signal.
Jenny's smile faded away. "What in the world …"
The lights in the skyscraper dimmed, and then the floors and the walls started to hiss and flicker. Ozzie looked at the ceiling, which was turning the color of television static. "Holy motherboards, dis could be a problem."
Drew's head snapped upright. "Did the lights just flicker on and off?"
"Yeah, I think so," said Tuck, looking at the floor lamp. It was on now, but …
A strong gust of wind blew outside, and they heard the walls of the house creak again. Somewhere out in the winter storm, an heavy branch was waving in the wind, burdened with a heavy load of ice. It came into occasional contact with a main power line. This strong gust proved to be too much for the overstressed branch, though, and it finally snapped off. It landed across the power lines, short circuiting them.
All the houses on the street instantly went dark.
The lights snapped off in the living room. Drew and Tuck stared in horror as the image of Brad and Jenny disappeared from the television screen, which faded to black.
Continued in Chapter Four
A/N - If you enjoyed this chapter – heck, if you hated it – please leave a review! I'd especially like to know if you thought the conversation worked, was there too much dialog, not enough, you know. Thanks!