M*A*S*H is not mine, I don't own any characters in this story, both are property of Twentieth Century Fox - except for parts of the storyline and most of the dialogue.
I named this story before I discovered it's a M*A*S*H episode title, so NO relation to that ep is intended, hey, you're talking to a guy that went to Harvard Law (class of 2002) , so, I know what I mean!
Thoughts on my first story (well..random though collection) either good or bad, to benchoffman@inspire.net.nz, I check my email lots each day, so I guarantee you a reply moocho pronto!
DATELINE: July 28, 1953
Korea, UN Forces Abroad
United States Armed Forces (Pacific)
Mobile Army Surgical Hospital, 4077,
Colonel Sherman T. Potter (RA) Commanding
Although the war, sorry..police action had ended some 15 hours ago, both sides felt obligated to keep shooting, the OR was full and everyone was busy, hopefully for the last time
"Who ordered this chest x-ray?" asked Klinger, striding into surgery in his best nurses uniform, complete with matching hat.
Colonel Potter raised his scalpel, "over here miss" he said.
Klinger walked purposefully over to the Colonel's table, "still working on a Section Eight?" smirked BJ as he packed more sponges into the belly of some unfortunate GI.
"Nope, but I want to have a word with this weeks hap hazard laundry officer, I've never seen anyone wash clothes so badly" he remarked, leaving the x-rays with Potter.
Without looking up, Margaret continued her duties and spat at Klinger "Sergeant, I believe I'm this week's laundry officer" she scowled at him and added "do we have a problem with that? Colonel Potter hasn't officially demobilized the 4077th, so you can still go on report!"
Hawkeye raised an eyebrow at the Major, as if to say 'well, well, still an army loyalist to the end'; she gave him a quick smile.
"Err, no Major" Klinger got out as he quickly left the operating room.
No sooner than the doors closed, they were opened by a medic, fresh off the line, and a corpsman bearing a stretcher. The corpsman was covered in grease and oil having drafted from the motor pool after the regulars went to help at the 8099th.
Hawkeye had just sent a patient to post-op and beckoned to his table, from across surgery, Charles looked at the strange fellows lugging in another casualty.
"Excuse me, Corporal Hawkins, isn't your regular MOS that of auto mechanic?"
The two litter bearers laid the stretcher on Hawkeye's table.
"Yes doctor. I am an auto mechanic, but the regular corpsmen were sent to help out at MASH 8055, so here I am"
Margaret looked at the medic; he still wore battle fatigues and a medic kit hung at his side. The red cross on his helmet was a dirty brown.
"Hey you there!" she screeched "the both of you are not sterile, this is an operating room not an auto shop and we have blood in here not 40 grit motor oil, as for you, you're job ended when his man reached the aid station!"
"Sorry nurse" the medic said.
Margaret stomped her foot and seethed at him "that's MAJOR to you!"
The GI on the table looked at Hawkeye, who was being re-gloved by Kelleye.
"Am I gonna' die Doc?" he asked Hawkeye, a scared twinge in his voice.
Hawkeye laughed, "Why no, you've gotten a front row seat at today's floor show, save the wounded, and it's a good thing the director is an actual surgeon, can I get you anything?" he asked mock serious.
The GI shook his head as 1Lt. Baker sat down on the gas passer's seat.
"Well, you're no fun!" joked Hawk, pretending to be sad "an' to think, I'm working my way thorough maître d' school as a doctor, at this rate, I'll never pass- night, night" he signaled to Baker to gas him.
****************
"Boy! Hopefully our last session" said BJ as he collapsed on a bench in the change room, Colonel Potter threw down his surgical cap as Charles and Margaret came in.
Charles flopped down on a bench next to BJ.
"Watch it Snobchester" he said, his voice full of ache and tiredness.
The Colonel spoke up "you feller's are as miserable as anything, I've gotta' a great dub dub II story that'll cheer everyone up".
Charles' eyes widened, he looked at Potter "colonel, please, I don't care about you're pathetic stories anymore"
"Well!" commanded Sherm, his mouth swinging open wide and exposing his teeth "in that case, I want to see everyone smiling, that's SMILING",
BJ looked at the change room clock, 9:42am. "Is it Monday or Tuesday?" he asked.
"It's Thursday" Margaret said as she died onto the change room bench.
Klinger yawned and put mask in the laundry bin "Then someone owes a Wednesday, either that or two Fridays"
Margaret looked at everyone "you know, it's amazing, here we are sitting in a place that now belongs to this history books. it's so profound".
Charles was about to say something but was cut off by everyone murmuring in agreement to Margaret, Col. Potter looked at everyone's solemn faces and sighed. "No, not quite Major, we'll sleep on it and this unit will be demobilized at 1000 tomorrow"
Charles looked at Klinger "My poor simple Max. No one owes you anything. In a matter of days, I'll be sitting at home in the library, pouring my self a snifter of cognac, reading the Boston Herald and forgetting I ever knew any of you"
"MULE MUFFINS!" exclaimed the good Colonel "I got a call from Radar yesterday, he's heard about the war ending and has invited everyone to his farm for a reunion every July 27"
"That's wonderful" a voice said, everyone looked up (or moved their head an inch) to see Fr. Mulchay enter the change room with a note.
"Hello Padre" said BJ.
"Good news for some" said the Father, "first, Hawkeye. Your dad called and said that he's secured old Doc William's practice in town. He said you'll make a fortune and that you can use it to pay him back for the phone bill"
Hawkeye sprang to life, jumped up with joy and hugged the padre. Everyone looked on, waiting and wondering.
"Yes, it's very good" said Father Mulchay who readjusted his glasses and continue to read on "Major Houlihan, you've gotten the job as head of nursing staff at a VA hospital"
Margaret sat up, a wide expression of happiness on her face "where?" she asked.
"The army said you have two choices, either Boston or Portland"
Everyone cheered for her as she looked on in wonder, which one?
"Wow" she said, in a quiet tone "Oregon or Massachusetts"
The Father was about to say something when Klinger said something, "No Major, I think he means Portland, Maine"
Father Mulchay looked around to see Klinger reading over his shoulder.
Hawkeye smiled, Margaret could be only an hours drive away, he was happy for once in this crummy place. Although they both felt something between, neither admitted it.
"Oh, I almost forgot" said the Padre, he handed Colonel Potter another note he had inside his jacket.
Everyone looked over at Colonel Potter; he took the note and quickly read it.
"It is herby approved by the Department of the Army, that I, Sherman T. Potter shall be formally decommissioned on August 1, 1953" he told the eager group.
"That's wonderful sir" exclaimed the Father.
"Yesssirree!" said Sherm "I'm leaving the army after 3 wars. I'm off back home to Hannibal, I'll be 'Doc Potter In' on one side of my office sign and 'Doc's gone fishin' on the other"
****************
It's the next morning, 1000hrs, July 29, 1953.
Everyone is standing outside the Swamp, waiting for Colonel Potter, who's standing on some old supply crates, to address them.
"Good morning troops..and troopettes" Sherm begins "Now, I said we'd sleep on it, and we did. The war was turned over to history two days ago. I think that we've overstayed our welcome. This unit has been demobilized for good now, so, let's get to it"
Everyone scrambles in different directions to begin packing and dismantling the unit, Hawkeye, Charles and BJ head to the Swamp to begin packing away memories.
"You know Hawk?" asked BJ, packing clothes into his footlocker "I'm really, really going to miss this place and everyone here, they've helped me survive for the past year"
Charles sits on his cot, staring blankly at the rapidly diminishing 4077th, he turned to BJ "Hunnicutt, I have met many people in my time, YOU are not among them"
They both looked at Charles, he replied "you can't really expect me to remember this place, it's just an inflamed boil on the buttocks of the world".
He sighed "and now, it's over.all gone, ah, what am I saying? Of course I'll remember this place. Just a brief stop over between Tokyo and my much desired position as Chief of Thoracic Surgery at Boston General".
********************
Colonel Potter sits happily at his desk; a bottle of Kentucky sippin' whiskey and a glass sit nearby. He gazes into the photo of Mildred on his right, and then slowly turns his head to the photo that one of the nurses took outside the Swamp of the staff.
He wipes a tear from his eye.
Suddenly, Klinger bursts in "sorry to disturb you you're Colonelness, but the 8063rd just called, they would like a nurse and surgeon tomorrow morning for a day or two"
Potter sits up and fades out again, "Sir?" asks Klinger, realizing that the Colonel is deep in reflection.
"Oh, tell them I'll send Hawkeye and Major Houlihan at 1000 tomorrow morning" he said, still vaguely staring at the photos on his desk and reliving the memories in his head.
Sherman looked at the photo of the staff; he thought back to the night that they celebrated Hawk and Margaret's return to camp after evading a North Korean patrol while coming back from the 8063rd
He knew they felt for each other, but would they ever admit it to one another?
********************
The 4077th now stood deserted, the OR building and a few tents were all that remained. The flags had been lowered and a sign had been carved from the top of Klinger's desk
"HERE ARE THE REMAINS OF THE 4077 MOBILE ARMY SURGICAL HOSPITAL THAT SAW ACTIVE SERVICE WITH THE UNITED STATES ARMY DURING THE KOREAN WAR JULY 20, 1950 TO JUNE 27, 1953.
COLONEL SHERMAN T. POTTER, COMMANDING OFFICER HANNIBAL, MISSOURI"
Colonel Potter placed it on the office door and looked round, everyone was hugging and fare welling everyone else, it was a sad day for the 4077th staff.
A jeep stood waiting in the compound, ready to take Hawk and Margaret to the 8063rd. The brand new PFC driver seemed to be able to hit every pothole on the way that was, judging from the mud on the sides, and even more on the driver
"Goodbye troops" said the Colonel as the pair got into the jeep, and with that, the jeep pulled away and headed for the 8063rd.
Hawkeye wondered about how the world had changed since he was in Korea and what the future held.
He looked to his left and saw Margaret gazing at him, maybe he wouldn't have to wait too long to find the answer" Hawk thought.
- THIS IS MY 1ST STORY, BASICALLY A COLLECTION OF RANDOM M*A*S*H THOUGHTS, SO FEEDBACK TO BENCHOFFMAN@INSPIRE.NET.NZ IS VERY HIGHLY WELCOME (GOOD OR BAD)