Chapter Four – Drastic Measures

Clark's final morning living in Smallville found him lost in adoration as he gazed at the superhero looking back at him from the mirror. A good one percent of this was due to the costume itself in all its red and blue glory, but the thing that really captured his eye was the kiss curl he'd added to his hair - who said perfection couldn't be improved upon.

He'd been marvelling at his kiss curl for several minutes, oblivious to the outside world, when, suddenly, he felt his cape being tugged.

"Thought of a name yet?" asked Martha.

Clark told Martha that he was thinking of Superman (although he didn't really think it did him justice - he was hoping his mother would have the sense to talk him up to at least Superduperman).

"Well, I think it's perfect," replied Martha, much to Clark's disappointment. "Oh, one last thing. You'll need a disguise."

She passed him a glasses case - a glasses case he'd seen before. In a state of confusion, he opened it to find the glasses that he'd been expecting. They were similar to the glasses that he'd lost in the river all those years ago - that day when he'd rescued Lex for the first time.

"Try them on," said Martha, and Clark, in a state of shock, did just that.

"Wow, that's amazing. You look completely different," observed Martha, but Clark wasn't listening - his mind was on other things. Slowly he realized why Kal had given him the glasses all those years ago.

"Everyone in Smallville's seen me without my glasses …" he reasoned aloud, "I'll have to wear the glasses as Superman."

"Of course you will. I thought that was kind of obvious," replied Martha, who was actually amazed that Clark had, for once, grasped the obvious so quickly. For a minute she'd been afraid that she would have to hurt her hand by smacking him on the forehead - a habit she'd picked up off Jonathan who, now that his son was fully invulnerable, would hammer his platitudes home on Clark's head with a display reminiscent of the Three Stooges.

With Martha gone, Clark looked for the glasses case that the stranger called Kal had handed him those many years ago. The last time he'd seen it was on the day he'd been given it, so it took him a while to find it (almost a second).

It had been a few months since he'd thought about Kal. At first he'd thought Kal was his father but, as time wore on, and he'd learned that Kal was his own name, he'd finally jumped to the right conclusions about his future self. But by then it was too late - everybody knew what he looked like without his glasses. He was just glad that he'd followed his future self's other advice all those months ago - who knows what peril it had saved him from.

As Clark sat there, holding the glasses case that Kal had given him in one hand and the same glasses case from Martha in the other, he suddenly wished that he'd taken himself more seriously all those years ago. As he looked with his X-ray vision at the glasses cases, only one of which contained glasses, he suddenly noticed something - a secret compartment, containing a note, inside the empty glasses case. Maybe there was still hope. Within nanoseconds, Clark was reading the note.

Dear Clark

The fact that you're reading this note suggests that you've discovered your X-ray vision by now. Hopefully, you've also been wearing those glasses for some time. Trust me, it's for the best in the long run - you've no idea what derision it will save you from in the future - and you don't want to know, believe me.

Your biggest fan

Kal

P.S. Just in case you didn't heed my warning, there is another possible solution ...

Clark read the rest of the letter but couldn't believe it - what Kal was proposing was unbelievable, unthinkable - but it had to be done.

A few nights' later and Superman had just made his first appearance in Metropolis, without glasses. The first people to hear the news and make the Clark/Superman connection were the people at The Daily Planet - and, as soon as they had done, Clark dealt with them. First Lois, then Perry, then Jimmy. The wipeout had begun. It was Smallville's turn next.

Superman used his telescopic vision and super-hearing to eavesdrop from above on the people of Smallville as the news about Superman slowly filtered in from the outside world. Whenever anyone made the Clark/Superman connection he'd swoop down, unleash his power on them, and then return to his vigil high above. Systematically, he worked his way through the people of Smallville, constantly reducing the number of people who could connect Clark to Superman. He didn't enjoy the task - especially dealing with the young and old - and tried to make each silencing as swift as possible (although, he had to admit, he'd taken a certain delight in dealing with Chloe, stretching it out a lot longer than was strictly necessary). Eventually, there was only one weak link left to remove - Lex.

As he finally caught up with the news, after days and days of meetings, Lex couldn't believe it. Clark had become a superhero and didn't even have the smarts to wear a disguise. What was he thinking? Lex settled down for a good night's sleep - with the riddle of Clark finally solved there was nothing to keep him awake.

The Man of Steel slowly walked up to Lex's sleeping form, but then, suddenly, Lex awoke. Lex stared in amazement at Superman. "This can't be happening."

"Quiet, Lex. Just relax. This won't take long, I promise."

And following those words, Superman's lips met Lex's. Lex was stunned - the same dream twice in a row - what were the odds?

Clark, wearing the glasses he'd have to wear from now on, walked out to the figure he'd spotted in a cornfield during his Smallville vigil.

"You looked like you were having fun," observed the figure.

Clark grimaced. "So, Kal, what are you still doing here? I thought you'd have gone back to the future."

"I am going back to the future. Just a lot slower than I anticipated."

"What? You've been sitting in this cornfield all these years?"

"No, I got out of this kryptonite-infested backwater as soon as I could - I'm surprised Jonathan and Martha never did the same. I just came back to see if my plan worked."

"I swear I'll never kiss another person again as long as I live," groaned Clark, wiping his lips.

"Well, it seemed to work. I must admit that when that Virgil Swann lookalike told me he got Lois to forget that Clark Kent and Superman were the same person just by kissing her I wasn't sure if he was kidding or not. Anyway, at least it gave you one final excuse to smooch with Lana."

"There was no need - she never made the connection."

Kal looked surprised.

"The kiss curl fooled her," explained Clark.

Kal didn't look the least bit surprised.

"Anyway, look on the bright side. Your future looks a lot rosier than mine ever did," said Kal, waving a copy of the latest Daily Planet at Clark. He proceeded to read from it. "Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound - that's what Lois Lane's written about you - she never wrote anything like that about my Superman - she never gave me a second glance. Speeding bullets, powerful locomotives, tall buildings - it doesn't take Freud to work out what she thinks about you."

Clark blushed.

"If that makes you blush, I won't mention that night at the toga party," said Kal, a gleam in his eye as he remembered what had happened.

"Oh that toga party ... a few months ago - when Lana asked me back to her place saying that she and Chloe had wicked designs. Fortunately, I remembered what you said."

"What I said?" asked a confused Kal.

"She was in the same outfit as me and she wanted to take me back to her pad to see some drawings, so I made my excuses and left. A shame really because I missed the food. Pete kept telling me the next day what a great sandwich Lana and Chloe made."

Kal looked at his open palm and wondered which of his foreheads to smack it against. Sometimes Clark Kent was his own worst enemy.

"Actually that advice was for a day in the future," he explained, "a day I keep wishing I could forget. A day that haunts me even more than the rest of my time as Superman. If only ... Clark, where are you going?"

"I'm off to find some kryptonite."

"No wait, Clark. I need your help. What I was going to say was ... if only there was a way I could forget that I was Superman."

He looked at Clark, smiled and puckered his lips.

"Come on, Clark. You know you want to."

THE END