Smeagol's Life Story (In his own words)
Chapter 1: How it all started
Deagol and I were taking a short walk in the woods, when we needed to relieve ourselves. So we headed toward the nearest bush. The next thing I know I hear these vile words coming out of Deagol's mouth. Then it dawned on me that I had missed and urinated on his putrid hairy feet. The whole walk home all I heard was "Smeagol you f**k head, I can't not believe you
were mindless enough to whiz on my foot! What a jackass!" We were almost home when I spotted this beautiful lake, so I told Deagol to jump in and wash his feet. But I got no answer that klutz had already fell
into the lake. Well that was a much needed bath for that stinking ass hobbit. When he got out he had this glee in his pee colored eyes, then he
showed me the ring, "my precious" that he had found. It was the most
beautiful thing my eyes had ever come across. I begged him to hold it, but all he said was "No, it's mine you idiot! I found it!" So I decided it was time to mess with him for a while. I pounced on him, "No, not in a sexual way" then I landed a blow to his face. Then he
was out cold, but not to my knowledge the reason why he was cold is, because I had terminated that idiot. I really didn't mean to kill him. //I meant to kill that fat bastard! //Shut up Gollum, he was Smeagol's friend I had finally had what I longed for "My Precious." I put it on; it felt so
good to be wearing something so beautiful, not like I wasn't a babe already. All those lady hobbits drooled at the site of me in a towel, with my tight muscular body. Well it wasn't actually muscular. "Shut up I don't
need comments from you, this is my story!" Over 500 years the ring started to transform me, I got real skinny and hair less. My skin started to turn this yellowish color, with slight tinge of grayish purple. Then my eyes enlarged to twice their normal size. If you
think Frodo Baggins has beautiful blue eyes, you should check out mine 'cause baby they are hot! They are so hot they are flaming! Don't go start questioning my sexuality; I like hobbits that look like me. But no one does yet, so it is safe to say I have a little thing for Frodo. "Frodo my place
9:00 okay, bring some wine and I'll show you my wild side. We can play
Twister!" Smeagol I don't think Frodo is a homosexual. //Listen Gollum, the body I
have I could seduce Frodo in a second. Gollum I think if you weren't my
other half you would be doing me right now. Smeagol, I my be evil and disturbed, but damn it man you need to go to a shrink. Plus I have a lady in mind; I know some of those dwarf chicks are pretty hot, even if they do
have beards. //Gollum, do you want to rub my belly? // Smeagol, I know you're not evil, but you need to start taking after me. Not checking out mindless hobbit men and trying to release your sexual fantasies on them. //Anyways on with my story, excuse Gollum he is a prick.
Ah, where should I pick up? Oh yes, once I was in my new transformed self I was rejected by the hobbit community. I started my own business as a model
for print ads in Play Hobbit. Did you know I was the cover girl three times?! I hate to say thing but my good side is f**ked up! Sorry Smeagol, I
had to express my feelings. // Shut up Gollum! You're so dumb, so dumb!
Chapter 1: How it all started
Deagol and I were taking a short walk in the woods, when we needed to relieve ourselves. So we headed toward the nearest bush. The next thing I know I hear these vile words coming out of Deagol's mouth. Then it dawned on me that I had missed and urinated on his putrid hairy feet. The whole walk home all I heard was "Smeagol you f**k head, I can't not believe you
were mindless enough to whiz on my foot! What a jackass!" We were almost home when I spotted this beautiful lake, so I told Deagol to jump in and wash his feet. But I got no answer that klutz had already fell
into the lake. Well that was a much needed bath for that stinking ass hobbit. When he got out he had this glee in his pee colored eyes, then he
showed me the ring, "my precious" that he had found. It was the most
beautiful thing my eyes had ever come across. I begged him to hold it, but all he said was "No, it's mine you idiot! I found it!" So I decided it was time to mess with him for a while. I pounced on him, "No, not in a sexual way" then I landed a blow to his face. Then he
was out cold, but not to my knowledge the reason why he was cold is, because I had terminated that idiot. I really didn't mean to kill him. //I meant to kill that fat bastard! //Shut up Gollum, he was Smeagol's friend I had finally had what I longed for "My Precious." I put it on; it felt so
good to be wearing something so beautiful, not like I wasn't a babe already. All those lady hobbits drooled at the site of me in a towel, with my tight muscular body. Well it wasn't actually muscular. "Shut up I don't
need comments from you, this is my story!" Over 500 years the ring started to transform me, I got real skinny and hair less. My skin started to turn this yellowish color, with slight tinge of grayish purple. Then my eyes enlarged to twice their normal size. If you
think Frodo Baggins has beautiful blue eyes, you should check out mine 'cause baby they are hot! They are so hot they are flaming! Don't go start questioning my sexuality; I like hobbits that look like me. But no one does yet, so it is safe to say I have a little thing for Frodo. "Frodo my place
9:00 okay, bring some wine and I'll show you my wild side. We can play
Twister!" Smeagol I don't think Frodo is a homosexual. //Listen Gollum, the body I
have I could seduce Frodo in a second. Gollum I think if you weren't my
other half you would be doing me right now. Smeagol, I my be evil and disturbed, but damn it man you need to go to a shrink. Plus I have a lady in mind; I know some of those dwarf chicks are pretty hot, even if they do
have beards. //Gollum, do you want to rub my belly? // Smeagol, I know you're not evil, but you need to start taking after me. Not checking out mindless hobbit men and trying to release your sexual fantasies on them. //Anyways on with my story, excuse Gollum he is a prick.
Ah, where should I pick up? Oh yes, once I was in my new transformed self I was rejected by the hobbit community. I started my own business as a model
for print ads in Play Hobbit. Did you know I was the cover girl three times?! I hate to say thing but my good side is f**ked up! Sorry Smeagol, I
had to express my feelings. // Shut up Gollum! You're so dumb, so dumb!