A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Congratulations to those who guessed where the chapter title is from! *hands out Christmas Cookies to winners* For those of you who don't know, it's from one of the Calvin and Hobbes collections. Calvin and Hobbes is one of my very favorite newspaper comics (I love all the snow 'creations' Calvin makes!) and I would highly suggest it for a good, funny read.
Disclaimer: I got a DBZ DVD for Christmas, but I didn't get the ownership rights! Damn!
Chapter 3: Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons
"Snow goons?!" Vegeta and Goten repeated, staring disbelievingly at Trunks.
"What did your mother put in those cookies?" Vegeta demanded, glaring at Goten suspiciously.
"Trunks! I thought you said that snow goons were a myth!" Goten protested automatically. "Even Gohan says they're not real!"
"Well, I thought they were!" Trunks replied, watching the beady red eyes apprehensively. "But what else could they be? Mutant Easter bunnies?"
"But you said the Easter Bunny wasn't real either!!"
"I was being sarcastic, dummy!"
"Quiet, fools," a new voice rasped. Trunks and Goten looked fearfully in the direction of the snow goons, while Vegeta looked highly amused. "The purple haired one is correct. We are snow 'goons' as you say. We have been sent by the green one from above to cause as much mayhem as we want and you insignificant bugs will not be getting in the way."
"Trunks!! You lied! You said snow goons came for the soul purpose of eating bad little demi saiya-jins during the Yuletide season! Liar!" Goten cried, glaring at his best friend. "And I bet the next thing you'll say is that Santa Clause is a Yeti!"
"Well…"
"Silence!" the lead snow goon hissed at the two boys. "There will be no more of this foolishness! You will now suffer!"
"Oh? And what are you going to do to us? Pelt us with you demonic snow balls from hell?" Vegeta asked rolling his eyes at the one enemy he could actually look down upon. "You don't frighten me at all, Frosty."
A collective gasp rose from the one hundred snow goons.
"You have just signed your death certificate! No one, and we mean no one, takes the Lord of all snow goons name in vain!" the leader cried.
"Frosty's a snow goon too?!" Goten cried, horror struck. "Lies! All my life has been lies!!"
"I knew he was evil!" Trunks exclaimed. "Jolly my ass!"
"Now, fight you worthless, creatures! Fight!" the main snow goon cried again and all the surrounding snow goons slipped into a fighting stance. They paused for a second before rushing at the three saiya-jins.
"This is what I call a Christmas celebration!"
"This is the worst Christmas ever!"
"Sweet!"
At Orange Star High…
"Go fish," Gohan muttered, rolling his eyes. The foursome had taken to playing the card game after another boring half an hour of sitting in the student lounge.
"This is stupid. I told you we should have played strip poker," Sharpener grumbled, drawing a card from the deck. "But Gohan had to go and be a wimp -"
"Gohan wasn't being a wimp. He was just sticking up for his morals." Videl exclaimed. "Besides, you're the only one who wanted to play anyway, Sharpener."
"I agree, and I don't know who would want to see you strip in the first place." Erasa giggled, as Sharpener glared at her. "The only person who I would want to see in this room strip would be Goha…AH! What the hell is that thing?!"
"What?" the other three cried together, looking around the room in surprise.
"I-In the window!" Erasa stuttered, pointing over Gohan's shoulder to the window he had been staring out earlier.
Gohan whipped his head around and was greeted by a pair of glowing red eyes. He jumped to his feet, closely followed by Videl.
"What is that thing?" Sharpener asked, disgusted. "I thought no one was supposed to be let out until the snow stopped!"
"Well obviously, it's not a student, is it?" Videl snapped back. "Who here would have red eyes?"
"What do you think we should do about it?" Gohan asked, raising an eyebrow at the small figure. "Letting it in wouldn't be a good idea, would it?"
"No shit Sherlock," Videl replied, rolling her eyes.
"Maybe if we don't acknowledge it any more, it will go away," Erasa added, sounding hopefully.
There was a sudden, loud crack as the creature outside punched his hand through the window glass.
"I doubt it," Sharpener answered, as he and Erasa took a few steps back.
"All right, who are you and what the hell do you want?" Videl demanded, glaring at the creature.
"I am of one of the numerous snow goons sent by the green one from above to cause as much mayhem as we desire," It explained, advancing towards the four teenagers.
"Oh no…Thanks a lot Dende," Gohan groaned, reminding himself to pay the little Namek another visit sometime very soon.
"The green one from above?" Videl repeated, puzzled. "I don't know what drugs you've been on, buddy, but I suggest you get out of here before I kick you out!"
"Er…Videl, threatening some demonic beast like this really isn't a good idea -" Gohan suggested.
"Gohan, you can do things your way and I'll do things my way!" Videl replied, turning to glare at Gohan. "And right now, the only way to teach this thing a lesson is to-"
"Videl!! Look out!!" Erasa gasped as the snow goon charged.
Before Videl could even turn around and before the other two could blink, the snow goon was gone, a pile of water was on the floor, and Gohan was pointing his finger at the spot where the snow goon had last been.
"…How the…? Where'd it go?" Sharpener asked, looking around franticly.
"I-It…It melted!" Erasa gasped, pointing to the puddle. "But it was only inside for a few seconds at the most!!"
"Well, it isn't fire proof…"
"Or ki proof either -" Gohan mumbled distractedly. "Dende's not up to his usual standards today…Must be drunk, the idiot -"
"Gohan? Do you know who which crazy psychopath created snow goons?" Videl asked, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.
"Kami did."
"…Kami…right…" Sharpener repeated, giving the others a look. "And you know Kami too, I'm guessing?"
"Yeah. He's a bit of a moron, especially when he's drunk." Gohan explained, obviously mistaking the 'what the hell' looks he was getting from the three for looks of terror. "Oh, don't worry, it only happens around Christmas or any other major holidays. The rest of the time he's sober."
Before Gohan could explain any more about Dende, someone screamed, shortly followed by two crashes, a bang, and another scream.
"Looks like some more of the little devils got inside. Damn." Videl swore. "Somebody get me a lighter, because I don't think my martial arts skills will do any good against these guys."
At Capsule Corp…
"Bulma? Where did you say Trunks and Goten ran off too?" Chi-Chi asked as she pulled a steaming hot plate of cookies out of the oven. "I was going to have them try out my new recipe."
"They went off the rescue Gohan," Bulma replied. "Don't worry. You still have one official taste tester here."
"Well, that's good. Maybe these cookies will actually be able to tasted instead of inhaled for once." Chi-Chi laughed, taking off her apron and sitting next to Bulma at the counter. Her brow furrowed suddenly as she looked over Bulma's shoulder. "What in the world is that thing?"
"What?" Bulma asked, whipping her head around in time to see a set of red eyes glaring back at her. "Oh no! I thought I told Trunks that he couldn't bring any more wild animals home! Now the damn thing wants to be let in!"
"Erm…Bulma? I highly doubt that thing is an animal." Chi-Chi replied, standing up. "Hand me that cookie sheet, will you?"
"Why? You're not going to feed it, are you?"
"Of course not! I'm going to attack it!" Chi-Chi exclaimed, as she picked up the pan, walked over to the sliding door, and opened it up. The snow goon barely had time to register the fact that the door was open before a still-hot cookie sheet came crashing down on his head. Seeing as though the snow goon was only made out of snow, he was destroyed on contact.
"Strange…" Chi-Chi muttered, as she closed the sliding door again. "It was just a snow man. An ugly looking one at that."
"It was probably Trunks'. Ever since I let him read those Calvin and Hobbes comic books, he's been building strange snow creatures all over the place." Bulma replied, rolling her eyes. "But did you see the way it's eyes glowed? No ordinary snow man can do that."
"Yes, of course…" Chi-Chi muttered. "Did he build any more of them? Because I remember seeing a few more sets of eyes out in the yard when I smashed the other one."
"No…I don't think so. He only made two of them before I yelled at him to come back inside. That's weird. None of the house-bots are outside either -"
BANG!!!
Chi-Chi and Bulma looked up in surprise and then screamed in horror when they saw five more sets of red eyes glaring back at them.
Next Chapter: In the next chapter, Chi-Chi and Bulma have close encounters with the weird kind, Videl finally learns why the hell Gohan never comes back from the bathroom, and the Saiya-jin Rescue Team kicks snow demon ass!