In the Dark
By Lalita
Disclaimer~ *yawns* Megami Kouhosei is not mine, it never has been, and unless if I magically transform into the various people and companies who have any actual claim on it, I never will own it.
Summary~ Ikhny is tormented endlessly by Hiead, until… *evil laugh* Read to find out!
Author Notes~ Well, chapter five is certainly longer than usual… ^^ I have also made MINOR revisions to the previous four chapters, but it's nothing worth noticing or re-reading. As for my reviewers, thank you, and I hope you review again! ^^ I've also decided that this is the chapter the R rating will be put into effect. So, like I've said before a million times, let's get on with the fic and READ AND REVIEW!!!
Chapter Five~ A Lesson Learned Well
A few hours later, when Hiead had finally finished with his fun, a terrified, battered and bruised Ikhny was deposited onto her bedroom floor, where she remained until Kizna found her. Paralyzed by fright, she didn't dare move, couldn't move, couldn't do anything but lay there on the floor, helpless and cowering. She was afraid... Afraid that he would come back, that he would... would... The thought was too horrible to contemplate.
Scattered, barely formed thoughts flitted around her brain. How... How could he do that? Why did he...? Why did it have to happen to me? Ikhny's pulse raced and she felt suddenly nauseous. She tried to stop thinking, tried to block out everything but the sound of her ragged breathing, but it was useless.
" Why me?" she thought miserably. The tears that hadn't come for hours exploded and sobs racked her thin body. She couldn't understand why any human being would be so cruel and heartless, hadn't thought it possible before... before Hiead... Ikhny started shaking so violently her teeth chattered together. What he had done was worse than hitting her, or locking her up in a closet, or yelling at her. What he had done was so... evil and wrong. The injustice of it was unbearable.
She struggled to get up, to regain her composure, to go and tell somebody, but whenever she moved even a finger a searing pain flashed through her head and her body ached and cried for respite, so she was forced to stay still and pray that someone would come. But while she prayed to be rescued, she also wished to just die right there. She didn't want to face anyone... She was too ashamed at what they would see- a broken, crying girl huddled on the floor.
She closed her eyes, for soon even the simple act of seeing became painful. She closed them until the waves of dizziness passed, then focused them once more on the door. But no one came. No one came, no one knew, no one cared...
Ikhny looked down at the tattered remains of her clothes, feeling sick and close to blissful unconsciousness. Blood stained her body, her hands. Around her, the red had grown into a puddle. It trickled out of her mouth, clung to her hair, poured from a gash in the head...
The floor was cold beneath her, almost as cold as ice, numbing her to the pain. A loud buzzing began in her ears and she fought it off. Got to stay awake... Can't pass out... Got to be found... Cry for help...
But the hazy cloud in her mind had descended over her eyes, over all her thoughts. The last thing she saw before she slipped into darkness was his face, leering above her, reaching out for her and dragging her down with him.
~*Ikhny's Flashback*~
Hiead roughly threw Ikhny into his room, taking care to lock the door behind him and step on her back as he passed by her. A sick fear crept over her until she wanted to hurl. What was he going to? What was happening?
Her questions were about to be answered. Hiead stood above her, tall and commanding. He was smirking, as usual. He crossed his arms and a demented little smile formed on his face. " Poor little Allecto."
Ikhny had never felt more scared in her entire life. Here she was, alone, in a room with Hiead. The key word there: alone. He came closer and closer, until he reached out a hand and began to softly stroke her hair. Ikhny froze. What was going on? Where had that gesture come from?
" Poor, poor little Ikhny," Hiead murmured, his twisted smile becoming wider. And then, quite suddenly, Ikhny realized she would be the luckiest person in the universe if she escaped Hiead alive.
" W-What?" she managed to croak, although her throat was chokingly tight. She frantically tried to clear her mind, to rationalize with Hiead, to find a good escape route, but nothing came to her other than flinging herself out of the nearest airlock. Knowing Hiead, he would probably follow her there, as well.
" What do you think, Allecto?" Hiead said, sneering snidely. He shoved her onto his bed, and a loud crack signified she had hit her head on the wall behind it.
" N-N-No!" Ikhny whispered, but he jerked her upright and grasped her wrists. The fact that she was at Hiead's complete mercy, the fact that he had none, and the knowledge that she was very likely about to be raped and beaten was not comforting to her state of mind- not at all. A part of her she didn't know she had began to fight back, kicking him and clawing at him with her short nails.
But her puny efforts were laughable. Hiead easily restrained her, using his weight to crush her as he fumbled with the sheets, ripping them up into two long strips. " Yes, Allecto," he said, and his tone could only be described as gleeful. His face had taken on the intent look it did in battle, and his eyes danced with the triumph that came when he destroyed an enemy.
" Oh God, no!" Ikhny wailed, fighting him tooth and nail. It couldn't be happening to her! Hiead would never do that! No matter how evil he was, he had never been physically attracted to her, and so she saw no reason for this sudden display of ardor. Her mind tried to comfort her by telling her he was only putting on a show to scare her, but she knew better. Hiead never did anything halfway. Once he started something, he would finish it.
" I never knew you thought of me as a god, Allecto," he said, then grabbed one of the long strips and yanked her arm over her head. He wrapped it tightly with the strip of cloth, so tight it seemed to cut into her skin, and proceeded to tie her down.
There was nothing else for it. Ikhny screamed, and screamed, and screamed again. " Someone h-help me! P-Please! Help-"
She was cut off as Hiead gagged her, making sure to snare her hair in the process. He leaned down and said in a low, deadly tone, " If you want to survive this, Allecto, I suggest you shut up."
Tears streamed with wanton abandon down Ikhny's face. Her nose began running, and her eyes soon turned red. " Please, no," she cried, but Hiead heard only muffled sounds through the gag. She writhed on the bed, but there was no hope of being freed. Hiead had tied her securely. One would need a knife to slice through her bindings.
" You see, Allecto, you disobeyed me," Hiead explained, absently twirling a knife in his hands. The blade wasn't short, but it wasn't long. It looked thick, though, and sharp, especially as he ran his thumb along it and licked the blood that trickled from his finger. Ikhny shuddered and tried not to think of what else he would do with that knife. " A slave can never disobey her master, and so you must be taught a lesson.
He approached the bed and was beside her side in an instant, pressing the wicked blade to her throat. He pressed deeper, and Ikhny felt the knife cut her skin and draw blood. His handsome face loomed above her, eyes burning with a fire and features corrupted by a perverse evil.
Ikhny closed her eyes to the sight and turned her head. This can't be real... It has to be a nightmare!
But she was going to find out just how real Hiead was, and just how real the pain he inflicted felt.
~*End of Ikhny's Flashback*~
" N-No!"
A scream rent the air of the hospital ward, scaring Yukine so badly she dropped the glass of water she held. The glass shattered into millions of tiny glass shards, being spread all over the floor as they were pulled by the water seeping into a puddle at the nurse's feet. The young woman shook her head and gazed sadly at the figure on the bed in the corner of the room, then left to fetch a broom, rag, and a fresh glass of water.
Meanwhile, the girl on the bed was still dreaming of her previous encounter with Hiead. She thrashed wildly, tangling the sheets so that they twisted around her. The restriction of movement aggravated her further; she moaned in frustration and struggled to free herself, all the while mumbling things like, " N-No... Please... N-No..."
Her next scream jolted her out of her reverie and she sat up straight, panting and gripping the sheets so hard her knuckles turned white. She tried to reassure herself it was just a dream, just a horrible, twisted nightmare, borne out of her last fight with Hiead, but something else was nagging at her. It felt like it was more than that. Like... a memory.
She shook her head to clear it, but then pain swelled and gripped her entire body in its clutches, so she lay back down. Finally, when the pain had receded to a dull ache, she cautiously opened one eye and peered around the room. This was not her bedroom. The walls were white, the sheets were white, and, looking down, she discovered that even her own nightgown was white. The only different colors in the room were the little monitors around her bed, one with rising and falling red lines, the other with green little statistics flashing across the screen. The motions made her feel sick to her stomach, so she closed her eyes again and tried to sleep. Something told her that if she started to remember, she would regret it.
But try as she might, she couldn't fall back asleep. Every time she came close to the shores of dreamland, a pair of garnet eyes seeping blood came to her mind and made her quake in fear and revulsion. Eventually, growing restless, she braved opening both eyes and raising her head. This time, she felt only a slight stab of pain in her head, one that was easily ignored. Vaguely, she wondered if the tubes now feeding a bluish liquid into her veins had anything to do with it. But the question still remained: Where was she?
Just then, Doctor Rill came in, her stride swift and business like. She fiddled with some objects on a tray, then, noticing Ikhny, came over and said, " Ah. You're awake."
Ikhny nodded and forced a weak smile onto her face. It was hard, because she kept on getting the feeling her right cheek was larger than the left one. A few minutes went by before she spoke, and when she did, her voice was strange and alien to her ears, as if it hadn't been used in awhile. It was dry and cracked, and also significantly lower than usual. " D-Doctor? Where a-am I? How d-did I get here?"
Dr. Rill walked over to Ikhny's bedside, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. " Can you remember anything?" she asked. " Anything at all?"
Ikhny squinted in concentration. She didn't want to remember, but she knew she had to eventually. It would be better to face her demons now, rather than later. But the hazy cloud in her mind refused to lift enough for her to remember her own age. " I... passed out?" she guessed, concluding that it was only sensible.
Dr. Rill nodded heavily and squeezed Ikhny's shoulder. " Anything else?" she asked, although she knew the answer. Ikhny shook her head and Dr. Rill sighed, mumbling under her breath, " I should have known you wouldn't be able to answer so soon after..."
But she was wrong. Reality had decided to come rushing back at Ikhny in just that second. The memories came flooding back, and her face drained of the little color it had, turning her as white as the room itself. Her eyes went abnormally wide as a menacing voice whispered into her ear, " If you ever tell anyone, anyone, Allecto, I'll make sure you die very slowly and painfully. And that's not a threat. It's a promise." Her arm spread goose bumps as she felt the lightest touch crawl upon it.
" Ikhny," Dr. Rill said slowly, removing her hand from Ikhny's shoulder. Ikhny missed the contact; somehow, with a reassuring hand on her shoulder, she had felt safer and more secure. " I know it seems a bit early to tell you this, but I think it's better for patients to understand what's going on around them."
Ikhny rested back against the pillows. She knew what was going on. She was recovering in the hospital ward, and Hiead... " Oh Zion," Ikhny mumbled, then darted a look at Dr. Rill to see if she had heard her whispered proclamation.
She hadn't. Dr. Rill sighed once again, then said, " Repairer Kizna Tolleyk found you in your room. She's been waiting to see you."
Ikhny bit back the colorful curse that rose to her lips. True, she didn't normally swear, but the circumstances allowed it in this case. Kizna was probably livid with fury and worry. Ikhny prepared herself for the upcoming fight she was sure was going to happen when Kizna visited.
" But first, are you feeling up to some questions?" Dr. Rill asked. Ikhny was tempted to lie, to say she was tired and wanted to rest, but she assented and soon Dr. Rill was making her repeat the entire incident. Ikhny's feelings of unease increased with each question. What was going to happen to her? And, more importantly, what was Hiead going to do to her?
She couldn't take it. She had to find out what had happened to Hiead. " W-Where is Hiead?" she blurted, still tightly clenching the sheets, using them for moral support.
Dr. Rill visibly stiffened. Her back straightened, and her face became tighter. Her eyes hardened. " That's what the questions are about," she informed Ikhny, looking slightly uncomfortable. " Can you remember anything that happened... with Hiead?"
" H-Hiead?" Ikhny whispered, searching her mind for something to say. She looked into Dr. Rill's eyes, trying to find a sign of what was the right thing to say, but there were none. What should she do? She tried to open her mouth again, to speak, to tell the truth, but nothing came out. " Oh, Goddesses help me," she prayed, twisting her hands together. But her reverent prayer was not to be answered.
" Hiead Gner raped you," Dr. Rill said quietly, eyes shining with compassion for the meek girl.
Ikhny's eyes widened and a small gasp escaped from her throat. To be sure, the news wasn't new to her, but to hear the words spoken, confirming it... It was too much. She didn't want to think about the consequences of those words, not then. She just wasn't ready to face it all. " R-R-R-Rape?" She could hardly say the word. It was amazing how such a simple, four letter word could hold so much meaning.
Dr. Rill reached out a hand to gently squeeze Ikhny's, but this time, the gesture's meaning was lost on her. Ikhny's mind was whirling in a thousand different directions. They knew Hiead raped her? So what had happened to him? Was she safe from him? The last thought was enough to make her chuckle inwardly. Her, safe from Hiead? Never.
" Yes. We know it was him. We already ran the tests. He's being convicted as we speak," Dr. Rill told her. If she was expecting the news to comfort the girl, she was wrong. Ikhny knew Hiead would be enraged if he ever knew she ever admitted to being his victim. It was a loose-loose situation. On one hand, she could tell everyone Hiead raped her, wait until he got out of prison or an asylum and be killed; on the other, she could defend him, live another day, and pray to be delivered, but more likely or not end up being killed.
The irony of the situation was almost hilarious to Ikhny. She laughed out loud, but her laugh was hollow and humorless. " When did Kizna find me?" she asked Dr. Rill, her voice steady and firm. Apparently, the drugs didn't only dull the physical pain, but the emotional hurt as well. In fact, one could say Ikhny was almost giddy.
Her attempt to change the subject succeeded. Dr. Rill seemed to understand and replied, " About three days ago. You were in critical condition until yesterday night."
Unwilling to break the age old tradition of entering when being talked about, Kizna stepped into the room. Ikhny instantly sobered up. She tightly shut her eyes, willing herself to wake up from the never-ending nightmare, but she didn't. When she looked in the doorway, Kizna was still there, looking nervous but relieved. Dr. Rill assured her it was fine to come in and bade Ikhny goodbye. Kizna waited some more until she was sure the doctor was gone, then, indecision forgotten, ran straight into the room and engulfed Ikhny in a bone crushing hug.
" Ikhny!" she cried, hugging her tightly, as if afraid to let go.
Zion help me…
Ikhny patted Kizna lightly on the back, wincing in pain. Kizna got the message and released her, but seated herself on the edge of the bed. Smiling sadly, Ikhny said, " Kizna."
The braveness the medicine had temporarily given her was fleeting. She felt like a mouse again, a cornered mouse with no where to hide. Luckily, Kizna was too caught up in the knowledge Ikhny was safe and sound to care. " I was so worried," she was saying, tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes. " When I found you, I thought you were... that you were... dead." She hiccupped softly.
" I'm o-okay now, Kizna," Ikhny said, but the words sounded false, even to her own ears. She knew she wasn't okay, and she knew she might never be again.
Kizna smiled and wiped away her tears, chuckling softly. " I know... I'm being silly, aren't I?" Kizna said, reaching out to touch Ikhny's hand and bumping the IV tube in the process. " I guess... I'm just so glad you're doing better now," she finished, sincerity strong in her words.
It was enough to make Ikhny shed a few tears herself. " Don't w-worry about m-me, Kizna," she told her, but wished she could take back her words the next second.
Just as she had predicted, Kizna went off like a time bomb. The tears and smiles before had just been the calm before the storm. Ikhny's words had been like hitting the detonator switch, and, just like a bomb, Kizna could not be stopped. " Of course I'm going to worry about you! Do you have any idea what you looked like? What you still look like?" Kizna exploded, pacing around the room. " That goddamned son of a bitch! I'm going to kill him for what he did to you, Ikhny! If I have to drag that bastard straight down to hell myself, you bet I will! That- thing! How could he do this?" Kizna rounded furiously on Ikhny. " And how could you let him?"
Ikhny sighed and flinched at Kizna's repeated curses. Not that Hiead didn't deserve everything she said, but still, Kizna wasn't making it any easier on her. What she needed right now was support, not demoralization. But what hurt worst of all was her friend thinking she had let Hiead rape her. It wasn't like she hadn't fought him; she'd struggled against him more than she had ever fought before. But Ikhny knew she couldn't tell Kizna that, she couldn't tell anyone that.
So she lied. It was perhaps the most idiotic, stupid thing she had ever done, but it saved her life, although her friendship with Kizna was ruined for what seemed like forever because of it. " K-Kizna... H-Hiead d-didn't r-r-rape me."
There. The words were out, and they could never be taken back. Kizna's eyebrows raised so high that they practically disappeared into her hair. " Oh?" she asked, her voice almost pleasant. She started off calmly, but as she went on, her tone became more angry. " And just what do you consider rape, Ikhny? Because I call it exactly what he did to you, even if you're too scared to admit it!"
Her words were like a slap in the face, and, her decision resolved, Ikhny steadily met Kizna's eyes. " It wasn't like that," she protested quietly, although her voice held undercurrents of strain and anxiousness.
Kizna only grew more tense at Ikhny's words. " What do you mean? Look at you! Look at what he's done!" she shrieked.
And so Ikhny did look down at herself, at her hands, pale and shaken and covered with small abrasions. She looked at her arms, bruises turned to dull browns but still a few shades of purple. She lifted a hand to her face and felt the swelling. It was too much. She covered her sunken face in her hands and sobbed, tears dropping onto her bed sheets and hands.
Kizna was instantly remorseful. She enveloped Ikhny into a warm embrace, apologizing profusely. " I'm sorry, Ikhny," she said, swallowing the lump in her throat. " I shouldn't have gotten so mad."
Ikhny drew herself away from Kizna, not sure why she was doing what she was about to do. Not sure of anything. It wasn't sane or logical or even believable, but she had to do it. It wasn't an option. Hiead would kill them all for revenge if she didn't, and then she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she knew she was the cause of so many deaths.
" Ikhny?" Kizna asked curiously, puzzled. She looked closely at her friend.
When Ikhny raised her head, she looked calm, composed, and accepting of the fate her next words would cause. " You can't rape the willing," she said, making sure to keep her voice void of all emotions. If she was going to lie, she had better be damn convincing.
Kizna's mouth dropped open. She seemed incapable of speech until she made a few startled noises. Then she left, without looking back once. Ikhny supposed she would never be forgiven.
She was too tired to think of anything. She dropped back down onto the pillows, the sleep that had previously eluded her calling to her once again. Her last thought was of Hiead and his so called " lesson."
I learned my lesson... I learned my lesson well...