Chapter 18
The journey back to the barge had been made mostly in silence neither finding the right words to express their thoughts. Alex got out of the car first and stood at the bottom of the gangplank as she waited for Duncan to lock the car. She was lost in her own thoughts, so she jumped when Duncan spoke to her "Come on let's get inside" Alex looked up and smiled at him before starting to walk up the gang plank, she hadn't gone more than half way when the surrounding started to fade from her eyes, her head started to spin and her legs started to give way. Duncan managed to catch her before she could fall into the water "that was close" he said to himself, Alex turned her head towards him blinking as she tried to focus on his face.
"When was the last time you ate anything?" Duncan asked as he tightened his grip around her waist, Alex rubbed her forehead "Errrr.I had a sandwich" Duncan shook his head as he help her up the gangplank and into the barge. He sat Alex on the couch before going into the kitchen and returning with a glass of water. He sat down beside her putting the glass to her lips "here drink this" Alex took a couple of sips before raising her hand to take hold of the glass, their eyes met as Alex's hand touched Duncan's, she so wanted to tell him everything but something made her hold back.
"You rest here.I'm going to fix us both something to eat," he said as he walked back to the kitchen. Alex sipped the cool water the fog that had surrounded her mind starting to clear; she let her eyes roam around the room at all the things Duncan had collected over the years. A feeling of security and peace flooded over her, there hadn't been many places in her life that had given her this feeling but this barge was one of them. Alex stretched out on the couch putting her glass on the table she then let her mind wander though pleasant memories for a change.
It wasn't long before Duncan returned with a tray and two bowls of steaming fresh pasta topped with a tomato and basil sauce. Alex got up from the couch and followed Duncan to the table "this looks good" she said as she sat down, Duncan went back to the kitchen returning with a basket of fresh bread, a bottle of red wine and two glasses. He sat down and poured the wine into the glasses "Now that your memory has returned you could tell me a little about yourself" Alex finished her mouthful of pasta before answering "there isn't much to tell". Duncan smiled at her as he offered her the basket of bread "well, what about your family.any brother or sisters?" Alex took a piece of bread from the basket "No I'm an only child I think".
"You think?" Duncan replied.
"I was found in a church.so I never knew my parents.I was brought up by the Nuns.they were the ones that found me but you don't want to hear about all that" Alex said taking a sip of her wine. "I would love to hear all about it" Duncan replied as he raised his glass.
"Well it was very late on a very cold winters night.the church had been locked for several hours when one of the Nuns.Sister Maria realised that she had left her glasses in there after Evening Mass.she found me on the stone altar wrapped in a blanket.the church had no heating so I probably wouldn't have lasted the night.at least that is the story the Nuns told me.the nuns said that God must have been watching over me that night.If you believe in that sort of thing".
Duncan put down his fork and picked up his glass of wine "so you don't believe in God then?" Alex shook her head as she finished another mouthful of pasta. "No.not really.. I've seen too many bad things in this world to believe there is an all seeing God.if there is why let these things go on" Duncan decided that a discussion of whether God existed or not was too heavy a conversation to get into tonight. "So were you happy living alone with the Nuns?" Alex smiled warmly as she remembered Sister Maria and the other nuns. "Oh I wasn't alone there were other children.the nuns did their best to make sure we had as happier childhood as they could but Sister Maria she was special" Alex laughed "she used to call me her 'Gift from God'. Duncan took another piece of bread from the basket "So how did you get your name?" he asked as he offered the basket of bread to Alex.
Alex shook her head "No thanks..well there was a note pinned to the blanket I was wrapped in.there was no name for me but it was signed Emila Rogan so I got my last name from my mother and Sister Maria gave me my first name Alexandria after her mother."
"It sounds like you were very fond of Sister Maria" Duncan said as he watched Alex's eyes shine as she spoke. "She was a remarkable lady.she had travelled all round the world doing 'Gods work' as she called it.helping the poor and sick.but she had retired from all that by the time I knew her.she used to let me stay in her room sometimes and the stories she told.she had a way of bringing them to life right in front of you." A large smile came across Alex's face as she remembered the stories.
"What?" Duncan asked intrigued to know what she was smiling at. "It's just that I remembered the name of someone Sister Maria used to speak often.his name was MacLeod too.what was his other name? C.Connor.that's it I'm sure.maybe he's a relative of yours" Alex laughed as she spoke. "Could be" Duncan said as he tried to hide his surprise at the thought of Connor spending time with a nun "She was very fond of him I think.I mean from the way she spoke about him and he was in more than one of her stories".
"Could be" Duncan said as he tried to hide his surprise at the thought of Connor spending time with a nun
"So do you still keep in contact with her?" Duncan asked as he poured them both another glass of wine. The smile on Alex's face faded "No.She died when I was 11.no she didn't die she was murdered" Alex eyes flashed with anger "she'd been helping out at a homeless shelter because she need to do something, so she said, she was on her way back to the convent.when some punk shot her and stole her purse.it couldn't have had more than a few coins in it" Duncan watched as Alex's knuckles turned white as she gripped the cutlery in her hands, Duncan reached across "Hey calm down" he said as his hand touched hers "Calm down.you don't get it.she died for a handful of change Duncan.do know how that feels?" Alex said slamming her cutlery down on the table.
Duncan swallowed as he pulled his hand back "that's one thing I do know how that feels" he said, his eyes flashing with anger and pain as he got to his feet picking up the bowls, Alex regretted her words as she saw the pain in Duncan's eyes "Look I'm sorry.I didn't mean to upset you". Duncan put the rest of the things on the tray before he went to the kitchen. He used the time alone to compose himself the memory of that night still haunted his dreams and he knew that it always would.
Duncan came back a few minutes later with some coffee "Duncan I'm sorry" Alex said as she rose from her seat as he entered the room, he smiled at her "I lost someone I loved very dearly in an incident just like that.so I do know how you feel" he took a deep breath "but that is all in the past.please tell me more" he said pouring the coffee.
Alex picked up the cup of coffee Duncan had just filled "Well that was the reason I joined the police force I thought I could make a difference.save someone else going through that..I had been in the force for about 5 years when McCormack approached me to join a new squad he was setting up.Criminal Intelligence and I've been there ever since.there you have it a potted history of Alex Rogan". Duncan sat back in his chair as he took a drink of his coffee "that was quite a jump.a child of 11 straight into your joining the police.what happened to the years in between?". Alex dropped her eyes away from his and got to her feet "that's easy to explain.those were my lost years" she then walked over to the couch. Duncan took another drink of his coffee he had seen the expression on Alex's face before and knew the subject was off limits, something had happened that must be even more painful for her than losing Sister Maria. Duncan knew that if Alex want to tell him he had to leave her to do it in her own time.
Duncan stood up with his coffee cup in his hand and walked over to the fire and stood in front of it looking at her, she seemed to find something very interesting in her cup as she wouldn't look at him "that's enough of the past for one night.now for the present, will you at least talk to your colleagues?" Alex eyes stayed on the dark liquid in her cup "I'll meet them but only to talk I'm not going back Duncan.not until this is finished.one way or another". Duncan could tell that for her to agree so easily some of fire that had kept her going over the years had grown cold, at least for the moment. He resisted his first instinct to take her in his arms to chase the dark memories away. Duncan knew that his attentions wouldn't be welcomed, Alex needed to deal with them herself if she was every to be free of them. Duncan hoped that she would deal with them and not bury them as he knew from experience that didn't work. "I'm going to finish up in the kitchen if you need me" he said as he walked towards the steps.
With Duncan gone Alex concentrated on pushing the feeling and memories of the night Sister Maria died and what happened afterwards back into the deep recesses of her mind. Alex couldn't believe how easily the memories had resurfaced; it had taken her years to bury them that deep. Alex sat back laying her head on the backrest of the couch and closed her eyes, she breathed deeply as she tried to lock the dark memories back inside the deep recesses of her mind.
Duncan started clearing up in the kitchen lost in his thoughts about what Alex had just told him or more to the point what she hadn't told him. He was wiping his hands on a towel as he leant against the sink after finishing the washing up when a possible reason Alex had taken Sister Maria's death so hard and so personal was that she had been there 'but why hide that' he thought as he put the last of the dishes away 'and if she was there then had Sister Maria died for the change in her purse or something else' he thought as he switched off the light and made his way back to the living area of the barge.
Duncan had intended to ask Alex about it but when he got to the top of the steps he saw that she was sleeping peacefully, he decided his questions could wait for another day. Alex had slid down, as sleep had taken hold of her leaving her coffee cup dangled from her hand; Duncan gently uncurled her fingers from around the handle and placed it on the coffee table. He then collected the extra bedding from the chest; before he gently lifted Alex's legs so she was laid on the couch he then took off her shoes. Alex stirred as Duncan lifted her head putting a pillow underneath it, he then covered her with a blanket before turning off the lamp and going to the desk sitting down in the high backed upholstered chair he picked up the phone in one hand as his other found the card Thomas Bishop had handed him the other day and dialled the number on it.
When the phone was answered it was very noise and from the sounds Duncan realised that they were in a bar "Hello.is that Thomas Bishop?" he asked.
"Yeah that's me" came the answer.
"It's Duncan MacLeod.I have your answer Alex will meet you tomorrow 10:30am here at the barge.did you get that?" Duncan asked.
"Yeah.Yeah 10:30 at your barge.we'll be there" Thomas replied before cutting the call off. Ray leant over to Thomas "Was that the old man?" Thomas shook his head "No.MacLeod.we have to meet Rogue at his barge tomorrow at 10:30am".
"Do you think we should tell the old man?" Ray asked as he tried to get the attention of the bar maid "Nah.it's too late there and we've nothing to tell him yet.you can talk to him after we've seen Rogue".
"Cheers mate" Ray said as the barmaid made her way to them.
The journey back to the barge had been made mostly in silence neither finding the right words to express their thoughts. Alex got out of the car first and stood at the bottom of the gangplank as she waited for Duncan to lock the car. She was lost in her own thoughts, so she jumped when Duncan spoke to her "Come on let's get inside" Alex looked up and smiled at him before starting to walk up the gang plank, she hadn't gone more than half way when the surrounding started to fade from her eyes, her head started to spin and her legs started to give way. Duncan managed to catch her before she could fall into the water "that was close" he said to himself, Alex turned her head towards him blinking as she tried to focus on his face.
"When was the last time you ate anything?" Duncan asked as he tightened his grip around her waist, Alex rubbed her forehead "Errrr.I had a sandwich" Duncan shook his head as he help her up the gangplank and into the barge. He sat Alex on the couch before going into the kitchen and returning with a glass of water. He sat down beside her putting the glass to her lips "here drink this" Alex took a couple of sips before raising her hand to take hold of the glass, their eyes met as Alex's hand touched Duncan's, she so wanted to tell him everything but something made her hold back.
"You rest here.I'm going to fix us both something to eat," he said as he walked back to the kitchen. Alex sipped the cool water the fog that had surrounded her mind starting to clear; she let her eyes roam around the room at all the things Duncan had collected over the years. A feeling of security and peace flooded over her, there hadn't been many places in her life that had given her this feeling but this barge was one of them. Alex stretched out on the couch putting her glass on the table she then let her mind wander though pleasant memories for a change.
It wasn't long before Duncan returned with a tray and two bowls of steaming fresh pasta topped with a tomato and basil sauce. Alex got up from the couch and followed Duncan to the table "this looks good" she said as she sat down, Duncan went back to the kitchen returning with a basket of fresh bread, a bottle of red wine and two glasses. He sat down and poured the wine into the glasses "Now that your memory has returned you could tell me a little about yourself" Alex finished her mouthful of pasta before answering "there isn't much to tell". Duncan smiled at her as he offered her the basket of bread "well, what about your family.any brother or sisters?" Alex took a piece of bread from the basket "No I'm an only child I think".
"You think?" Duncan replied.
"I was found in a church.so I never knew my parents.I was brought up by the Nuns.they were the ones that found me but you don't want to hear about all that" Alex said taking a sip of her wine. "I would love to hear all about it" Duncan replied as he raised his glass.
"Well it was very late on a very cold winters night.the church had been locked for several hours when one of the Nuns.Sister Maria realised that she had left her glasses in there after Evening Mass.she found me on the stone altar wrapped in a blanket.the church had no heating so I probably wouldn't have lasted the night.at least that is the story the Nuns told me.the nuns said that God must have been watching over me that night.If you believe in that sort of thing".
Duncan put down his fork and picked up his glass of wine "so you don't believe in God then?" Alex shook her head as she finished another mouthful of pasta. "No.not really.. I've seen too many bad things in this world to believe there is an all seeing God.if there is why let these things go on" Duncan decided that a discussion of whether God existed or not was too heavy a conversation to get into tonight. "So were you happy living alone with the Nuns?" Alex smiled warmly as she remembered Sister Maria and the other nuns. "Oh I wasn't alone there were other children.the nuns did their best to make sure we had as happier childhood as they could but Sister Maria she was special" Alex laughed "she used to call me her 'Gift from God'. Duncan took another piece of bread from the basket "So how did you get your name?" he asked as he offered the basket of bread to Alex.
Alex shook her head "No thanks..well there was a note pinned to the blanket I was wrapped in.there was no name for me but it was signed Emila Rogan so I got my last name from my mother and Sister Maria gave me my first name Alexandria after her mother."
"It sounds like you were very fond of Sister Maria" Duncan said as he watched Alex's eyes shine as she spoke. "She was a remarkable lady.she had travelled all round the world doing 'Gods work' as she called it.helping the poor and sick.but she had retired from all that by the time I knew her.she used to let me stay in her room sometimes and the stories she told.she had a way of bringing them to life right in front of you." A large smile came across Alex's face as she remembered the stories.
"What?" Duncan asked intrigued to know what she was smiling at. "It's just that I remembered the name of someone Sister Maria used to speak often.his name was MacLeod too.what was his other name? C.Connor.that's it I'm sure.maybe he's a relative of yours" Alex laughed as she spoke. "Could be" Duncan said as he tried to hide his surprise at the thought of Connor spending time with a nun "She was very fond of him I think.I mean from the way she spoke about him and he was in more than one of her stories".
"Could be" Duncan said as he tried to hide his surprise at the thought of Connor spending time with a nun
"So do you still keep in contact with her?" Duncan asked as he poured them both another glass of wine. The smile on Alex's face faded "No.She died when I was 11.no she didn't die she was murdered" Alex eyes flashed with anger "she'd been helping out at a homeless shelter because she need to do something, so she said, she was on her way back to the convent.when some punk shot her and stole her purse.it couldn't have had more than a few coins in it" Duncan watched as Alex's knuckles turned white as she gripped the cutlery in her hands, Duncan reached across "Hey calm down" he said as his hand touched hers "Calm down.you don't get it.she died for a handful of change Duncan.do know how that feels?" Alex said slamming her cutlery down on the table.
Duncan swallowed as he pulled his hand back "that's one thing I do know how that feels" he said, his eyes flashing with anger and pain as he got to his feet picking up the bowls, Alex regretted her words as she saw the pain in Duncan's eyes "Look I'm sorry.I didn't mean to upset you". Duncan put the rest of the things on the tray before he went to the kitchen. He used the time alone to compose himself the memory of that night still haunted his dreams and he knew that it always would.
Duncan came back a few minutes later with some coffee "Duncan I'm sorry" Alex said as she rose from her seat as he entered the room, he smiled at her "I lost someone I loved very dearly in an incident just like that.so I do know how you feel" he took a deep breath "but that is all in the past.please tell me more" he said pouring the coffee.
Alex picked up the cup of coffee Duncan had just filled "Well that was the reason I joined the police force I thought I could make a difference.save someone else going through that..I had been in the force for about 5 years when McCormack approached me to join a new squad he was setting up.Criminal Intelligence and I've been there ever since.there you have it a potted history of Alex Rogan". Duncan sat back in his chair as he took a drink of his coffee "that was quite a jump.a child of 11 straight into your joining the police.what happened to the years in between?". Alex dropped her eyes away from his and got to her feet "that's easy to explain.those were my lost years" she then walked over to the couch. Duncan took another drink of his coffee he had seen the expression on Alex's face before and knew the subject was off limits, something had happened that must be even more painful for her than losing Sister Maria. Duncan knew that if Alex want to tell him he had to leave her to do it in her own time.
Duncan stood up with his coffee cup in his hand and walked over to the fire and stood in front of it looking at her, she seemed to find something very interesting in her cup as she wouldn't look at him "that's enough of the past for one night.now for the present, will you at least talk to your colleagues?" Alex eyes stayed on the dark liquid in her cup "I'll meet them but only to talk I'm not going back Duncan.not until this is finished.one way or another". Duncan could tell that for her to agree so easily some of fire that had kept her going over the years had grown cold, at least for the moment. He resisted his first instinct to take her in his arms to chase the dark memories away. Duncan knew that his attentions wouldn't be welcomed, Alex needed to deal with them herself if she was every to be free of them. Duncan hoped that she would deal with them and not bury them as he knew from experience that didn't work. "I'm going to finish up in the kitchen if you need me" he said as he walked towards the steps.
With Duncan gone Alex concentrated on pushing the feeling and memories of the night Sister Maria died and what happened afterwards back into the deep recesses of her mind. Alex couldn't believe how easily the memories had resurfaced; it had taken her years to bury them that deep. Alex sat back laying her head on the backrest of the couch and closed her eyes, she breathed deeply as she tried to lock the dark memories back inside the deep recesses of her mind.
Duncan started clearing up in the kitchen lost in his thoughts about what Alex had just told him or more to the point what she hadn't told him. He was wiping his hands on a towel as he leant against the sink after finishing the washing up when a possible reason Alex had taken Sister Maria's death so hard and so personal was that she had been there 'but why hide that' he thought as he put the last of the dishes away 'and if she was there then had Sister Maria died for the change in her purse or something else' he thought as he switched off the light and made his way back to the living area of the barge.
Duncan had intended to ask Alex about it but when he got to the top of the steps he saw that she was sleeping peacefully, he decided his questions could wait for another day. Alex had slid down, as sleep had taken hold of her leaving her coffee cup dangled from her hand; Duncan gently uncurled her fingers from around the handle and placed it on the coffee table. He then collected the extra bedding from the chest; before he gently lifted Alex's legs so she was laid on the couch he then took off her shoes. Alex stirred as Duncan lifted her head putting a pillow underneath it, he then covered her with a blanket before turning off the lamp and going to the desk sitting down in the high backed upholstered chair he picked up the phone in one hand as his other found the card Thomas Bishop had handed him the other day and dialled the number on it.
When the phone was answered it was very noise and from the sounds Duncan realised that they were in a bar "Hello.is that Thomas Bishop?" he asked.
"Yeah that's me" came the answer.
"It's Duncan MacLeod.I have your answer Alex will meet you tomorrow 10:30am here at the barge.did you get that?" Duncan asked.
"Yeah.Yeah 10:30 at your barge.we'll be there" Thomas replied before cutting the call off. Ray leant over to Thomas "Was that the old man?" Thomas shook his head "No.MacLeod.we have to meet Rogue at his barge tomorrow at 10:30am".
"Do you think we should tell the old man?" Ray asked as he tried to get the attention of the bar maid "Nah.it's too late there and we've nothing to tell him yet.you can talk to him after we've seen Rogue".
"Cheers mate" Ray said as the barmaid made her way to them.