A/N: Thank you to all those that reviewed. Never fear it will be a couple of chapters before Lucius take a trip to Surrey. I haven't forgotten about it, it WILL happen. I have made a decision, I hope you guys don't get too upset with me, starting next week 10/30/03 I will begin posting on Fridays, so this is the last Thursday post there will be. I apologize in advance for any inconvenience but it will be easier on me that way. Thanks for reading and enjoy this chapter!!!



What He's Always Needed


Chapter 5


To say Narcissa Malfoy was a loving woman to the public outside of her home would be an understatement. She was commonly known as the "Ice Queen" even to some of her friends. Narcissa watched the events unfold before her as her son-in-law explained things to her and Lucius about how he'd been brought up. Narcissa Malfoy was one brazed off witch when Harry completed his tale. She could never imagine family being that cruel to another family member. She couldn't imagine Sirius, her cousin, doing anything like that to her beloved Draco if he'd been landed with custody for some reason. She and Sirius may not have liked each other, but she knew he'd never treat a child that way regardless of how he felt about the parents. No one she knew would treat a child that way, children are the only truly innocent things in this world. If she hadn't been against muggles before she most definitely against them after hearing this story.


Harry had to try and calm Narcissa down, explaining not all muggles were like that, he'd met the Granger's on a few occasions and they were and are beautiful people. Even Draco had reluctantly agreed that the Granger's were nice, for muggles. Harry knew not all muggles were bad, very few of them were like the Dursley's he knew, but that didn't change the way he'd been brought up. Harry had been thinking about it recently and he was scared. He was scared to death. He didn't let Draco know he was scared, but he didn't want to treat his children like the Dursley's had treated him, but he was scared that he would.


The rest of Christmas day passed in a somber mood. When Draco went to shower for the evening Sirius and Remus were speaking quietly to themselves while Harry lightly snoozed on the chaise. When Harry was sure Draco was well ensconced in his shower Remus and Sirius heard a choked sob coming from Harry who had curled up into a ball as best as he could around his stomach. Remus and Sirius were at Harry's side in an instant.


"What's the matter Bambi?" Sirius probed gently. Harry lifted himself and looked like a small child as he climbed into Sirius' lap and sobbed even harder. About five minutes later Harry had cried enough he could calm down and at least halfway explain what was wrong. Looking up to Sirius with wet eyes and the most pitiful face Sirius had ever seen in his life.


"I'm scared Siri, I'm scared to have these children, what if I screw up, what if I'm not good enough, what if I don't love them enough?" Harry finally stopped asking questions and waited for Sirius and Remus to answer them.


"Bambi" Sirius smiled at Harry as he cupped Harry's cheek lovingly as only a father figure could. Sirius pulled Harry into a reassuring hug. "The fact that you are scared and worried about being a good parent is proof enough that you will be an awesome parent." Sirius pulled back from Harry to look him in the eye. "You won't mess up, we're all going to help you, we'll be there for you, me, Remmy, Draco, Lucius and Narcissa, not to mention Ron and Hermione. We'll all be there every step of the way sweetheart, we all love you and want the best for you and those twins you're carrying."


Draco stepped out of the bathroom to see Harry in the arms of his godfather and tears tracking down Harry's face. In a flash Draco was by his side asking what was wrong. Harry climbed out of Sirius' lap and into Draco's. He needed to be held like a child at the moment and Draco wasn't complaining, but he looked to Sirius and Remus for an explanation. Once Sirius' explained what was going on, Remus smiled sadly at the couple.


"Harry darling" Draco started. "Why do you think you won't love our children? I can tell already that you love them the way you're doing your best to relax and following Carrie and Herman's directions of taking it easy. If you didn't love them, you wouldn't care and you wouldn't listen to the advice they give you to take care of you and our children." Draco rubbed his hand reassuringly up and down Harry's back.


"I know," Harry sniffled burrowing deeper into Draco's embrace. "I am just being stupid.." Draco interrupted what Harry was going to say.


"NO! Harry, never stupid. You are concerned for the well-being of our children that will never ever be stupid. It's not stupid to be scared, it's perfectly natural I would think. I'm not carrying the babies and I am scared to death, do you think I'm stupid for being scared?" Draco asked Harry trying to make him see that he wasn't being stupid. Those hormones really did play a number on Harry's emotions.


"Of course you're not stupid for being scared." Harry defended fiercely. "OK, I get it, I'm not being stupid for feeling like I am. Can I at least blame it on the hormones?" Harry asked hopefully. When he'd asked all three men and Carrie burst into laughter.


"Harry. That's the best idea I've heard all day." Carrie threw in her two knuts. She moved over to the chaise and laid a comforting hand on Harry's back. "You'll be a wonderful parent Harry. If you love those children even half as much as you love Sirius, Remus and Draco, your children will be very well loved and they will know it. It is perfectly normal to be scared, terrified even. Being a parent is a very scary thing to go through, and you're still so young. But knowing you like I do, even knowing some of how you were raised, I can tell you honestly, I would love for you to be one of my parents, your children will be so blessed to have someone as loving and giving as you as a parent." Carrie's eyes glistened with unshed tears, tears of joy knowing these children will be blessed with so much love they will never know hate. "It's OK to be scared Harry, it really is, but know this, if not in your heart, then in your head. You will be a great parent. You should see the way you light up when Draco or I do the revealing spell on you to check the children and we all find out they are growing beautifully. Just like your Garden Harry, they are growing up very well, and soon you'll have two little blessings of yours and Draco's love to fill your heart with more love." She smiled softly to the young couple. "I've witnessed many births Harry, and I can tell you something right now, you think you know what love is now? I can tell you, you don't, not until you hold those children for the first time. You too, Draco, you just wait, it's love on a completely different level." Her soft smile turned into a wicked one. "You guys, all of you, are going to fawn over these children, they are going to be spoiled rotten!" This caused everyone in the room to laugh. It lightened the mood. Carrie always did know what to say when emotions ran high for everyone.


"Do you feel better Bambi?" Remmy asked smiling at Harry lightheartedly. Harry nodded and yawned. "All right, looks like it's time for bed there kiddo." Remus said without much venom, but stern enough to let Harry know they would brook no argument.


Nodding Harry disentangled himself from Draco and crawled on the chaise as best he could to hug and kiss Remus and Sirius Goodnight. When he got up from the chaise he walked over to Carrie and gave her a hug and a kiss as well.


"Thank you Carrie, for everything" Harry whispered in her ear as he hugged her.


Remus and Sirius bid the young couple and nurse goodnight as Harry made his way slowly to his bedroom door. He stopped outside of it and held out his hand toward Draco. "Tuck me in?" Was all Harry had to say and Draco was by his side hold his hand leading his husband, friend, lover and "mother" of his children into the bedroom to lay them down for a peaceful nights sleep. Little did anyone know, the night would be far from peaceful.


A/N: Sorry it's short but that was an excellent stopping place, you know me with my cliffies, sorry.. MWAHAHAHAHA.. Toodles.!!! Before anyone starts to worry, it's nothing really bad that happens to Harry.