Hey everyone!! Holy, I haven't updated since August!! I'm updating today
cuz I'm sick and have nothing to do. Yup. I have a newfound love for Lord
of the Rings. It's really cool!!!! And to think, I used to hate it. That
was like the beginning of last year though. I've matured very much since
then. Yeah right. Lol. Anyhooz, read the story peeps
Disclaimer. I OWN HARRY POTTER. I'm kidding people, don't sue!! Oh ya, and I stole a couple of quotes from movies and shtuff. Actually, the movies I used lines from are Kung Pow: Enter The Fist, Black Hawk Down, and The Simpsons (although that's not a movie). Anything else that I didn't mention should go here too, like the "Bohemian Rhapsody" song by Queen that Hermione sings. K I'm done now.
******Who Wants To Be A 500 Galleonaire: Chappy #4
Regis: Hi everyone and welcome to another episode of Who Wants To Be a 500 Galleonaire!!
Audience: * cheers*
Regis: Today's contestant is-Troll, what are you doing?
Troll: ::attempting to sit on a squirrel:: I need a pillow!
Regis: You know what? That's just too damn bad. You're not getting one.
Troll: Why?
Regis: Look what you did to Hermione's seat!
Hermy: ::sitting on the floor behind a pile of metal and wood (her former seat and table thing):: This is why we can't have nice things!!
Regis: ANYWAYS, tonight's contestant is...Ron!!
::That "I Believe In Miracles" song starts playing as Ron walks up to the front, and extremely bright disco lights start shining everyone, blinding the audience::
Audience: MY EYES!!! The light, it burns! IT BURNS
Regis: Ron, who said you were allowed to do that?
Ron: How do you know it was me? It's always my fault isn't it???!!!!!! ::turns and gives Bob a thumbs up::
Bob: (wearing a mask that looks strangely similar to the Phantom of the Opera's)::ducks out of site::
Ron: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Regis: .....I'm not even going to ask how you're feeling tonight. I'd rather not know what's going on in that head of yours.
Ron: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
Regis: Ok, lets start. The 100 galleon question is: in Lord of The Rings, what is Frodo's friend Sam's full first name? Is it: a) Sammy b)Samwise c)Samster or d) George?
Troll: (singing) Squirrels are cute ::clap clap:: Squirrels are nice ::clap clap:: Squirrels are fuzzy and they have nice EEEYYYYEEESSS
Sirius: Shut the hell up.
Hermy: He almost killed me.
Sirius: ME????
Hermy: No, Frodo.
Harry: Who?
Hermy: Frodo! Frodo Baggins!
Harry: ......
Hermy: The one who stole your credit card.
Harry: I HAD A CREDIT CARD????
Hermy: Yup. But the important thing is, he tried to kill me.
Snape: No it's not. Voldie here has tried to kill many people before.
Voldie: ::smiles and waves::
Snape: Why, he even tried to kill me. And all because I got him lost in Turkey and then stole his waffle maker.
Voldie: ::nods knowingly:: I have been called bad before. Many have said I do things that are not correct to do. I don't believe in talk such as this. I am nice man, with happy feelings. All of the time. First, a joke. What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee chord? My ass. Nyah, haha, haha, haha, ENOUGH!!
Hermy: ::ignoring Snape and Voldie:: Evil little guy, he is.
Draco: Frodo? But he's so teeny and loveable.
Hermy: That's what he wants you to think. He lures you in, then......BANG
Troll: ::screams and falls off his chair:: My God, 'Mione, don't do that!
Regis: Ok, Hermione, if you're going to talk about being killed and stuff, GO ON ANOTHER SHOW
Hermy: Fine! ::gets up and goes on the Montel show::
Everyone: ......
Ginny: I was raped by a house elf.
Harry: K, we don't care.
Remus: Harry!! Rape is a serious matter! You shouldn't talk about it like that, because-
Harry: Oooooo look! A pencil!
Regis: (frustrated) Hello?
Snape: Hey Regis dude! WAAASSSSSUUUUPPPP?????
Regis: (weird look) Ok Ron, answer the goddamn question. Is it , b, c, or d?
Ron: Hmmmm...let me see. Which button should I press?
Regis: Button?
Ron: Should I press the...*red* one?
Regis: (exasperated) There is no red button.
Ron: Or the...*blue* one? MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Regis: RON!
Ron: Ok, ok. The answer is b, Samwise.
Regis: Thank you!!
Audience: *cheers*
Hermy: ::storms back in::
Harry: That was fast.
Hermy: They told me to come back on I Was Almost Killed By A Hobbit day.
Harry: What's today?
Hermy: I Was Murdered By A Squirrel day.
Troll: ::looks down at the squirrel he's sitting on::
Squirrel: ::grins evilly::
Troll: ::sits down harder::
Squirrel: ::being crushed to his painful death:: Can't... breathe...
Remus: Did that squirrel just talk?
Sirius: No.
Remus: Ok.
Regis: Alright Ron, the 200 galleon question is: who sings the song "Cruel Summer"? Is it a) Christina Aguilera b) David Bowie c)Bananarama or d) Harry Potter?
Harry: Why am I always included in these questions?
Hermy: ::starts singing:: I see a little silhouetto of a man, scaramouche scaramouche will you do the fandango?
Regis: Please don't start.
Hermy: ::continuing the song:: Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me! GALILEO! Galileo! GALILEO! Galileo! GALILEO FIGAROOOOOOO-
Ron: C!!
Regis: Correct!
Audience: *cheers*
Regis: Ok, we're making good progress here.
::The disco lights start flashing again::
Audience: AAAAHHHHHH!!! ::half of them drop dead::
Harry: What the hell just happened?
Troll: ::starts picking up the dead people to get rid of them:: Raise your hand if you're not dead.
Audience: ::about 30 people raise their hands::
Troll: ::picks up a guy::
Dead Guy: I'm not dead!
Troll: Ya you are.
D.G: No, I'm not.
Troll: Did you raise your hand?
D.G: No.
Troll: Well then, case closed. ::grabs Dead Guy and drags him outside of the gameroom area thingy::
::The two are heard arguing backstage::
Troll: (Off screen) What are you doing???? PUT THAT MARKER BACK IN THE MICROWAVE!!
Regis: Ok, well, moving on. The 300 galleon question is: On the TV show Live Through This, who is the actor that plays Travis? Is it a)Matthew Lillard b)Matthew Carey c) Tom Cruise or d) Harry Potter?
Harry: You see? AGAIN!!
Regis: Harry, are we gonna have to discuss this whole screaming thing again?
Harry: No Regis.
Regis: Good.
Hermy: ::singing:: Get your skis shined up, grab a stick of Juicy Fruit. The taste is gonna move ya!! Take a sniff, pull it OOOUUUUTTTT-
Sirius: Oh, SHUT UP.
Remus: What are Troll and Dead Guy doing backstage?
Sirius: Trying to figure out if Dead Guy's dead.
Remus: I don't think they're accomplishing much.
Troll & Dead Guy: (off screen) ::singing in drunk voices:: SCOOBY-DOOBY- DOO!! WHERE ARE YOU? WE'VE GOT SOME WORK TO DO NOW!!
Regis: Everyone just ignore them.
::lights suddenly dim and point to the ceiling::
Regis: Ok, what's with everyone and playing with the lights today?
::A cloaked figure (a.k.a Bob) is seen hiding where the light is shining (on the ceiling). Phantom of the Opera music starts playing::
Bob: ::swings down on a rope, narrowly missing Snape's head and the camera on the way down::
Draco: ::smoking a pipe:: I say old chap, what in the devil are you doing?
Bob: I'm here to avenge the deaths of Bob Jr. and his sidekick!
Sirius: Who's his sidekick?
Bob: The pylon.
Sirius: Oh right.
Bob: And now, avenge I shall do!!
::Bob runs over to Ginny and pushes her "How To Kill The Mudblood" papers off her table::
Ginny: ::huge gasp:: BASTARD!!
Bob: Ha ha!
Troll & D.G: ::cancan into the room, singing:: Oooohhhh, cancan! Can you do the cancan-- ::stop when they see Bob::
D.G: Who's that?
Troll: (amazed) It can't be! ::gasp:: It is! It's Mary Poppins!
Bob: Huh?
Regis: No, Troll. It's Bob.
Troll: Meh, potato pottatto.
Harry: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! I need to say a line!! The author is neglecting me!! NEGLECTING ME, I SAY
Troll: ::ignoring Harry:: So *Bob*, how did you manage to get here without me seeing?
Bob: Well, while you were doing the cancan, I swung down from the ceiling on a rope.
Troll: Ah, yes...you've learned well, young Jedi.
Ron: Excuse me, but I believe I have a question to answer. Look, you guys took so long with this whole Bob situation that I got my nails done! See, aren't they pretty? ::holds up his nails for everyone to see::
Regis: ::gets blinded by the light reflecting off of Ron's nails:: You like blinding people, don't you?
Ron: I like shiny things.
Regis: Ok, anyways, on with-
Hermy: THE SHOW!!
Regis: Shut UP!! Ron, answer the bleepin question.
Ron: Right. The answer to the 300-galleon question is-
Draco: Hey you guys, check this out.
Regis: ::getting really pissed off:: Oh MY GOD
Draco: I'm thinking of trying out for American Idol.
Hermy: You're not American.
Draco: Just shut up and listen! ::starts singing an Nsync Medley:: It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you! But when we are apart I feel it too!! Dirty pop, doodeedoodoo can't stop!!
Harry: ::joining in the Nsync Medley:: Would you be my girlfriend! I'll treat ya good!
Regis: Oh, this truly is hell!!
Bob: ::sitting on the floor:: You know, Ron still hasn't answered the question.
Ron: I know. And now, since I have to say this quickly before someone cuts me off again, I will guess and say...C!!
Regis: I'm sorry, that's wrong. The correct answer is b, Matthew Carey.
Remus: I can't even remember what the question was.
Harry: YES!!!! I am still the victor!!! ::does the happy dance, followed by his victory dance, while "We Are The Champions" plays in the background::
Hermy: Victor.........Viktor Krum!!
Draco: What's your point?
Hermy: I dunno.
Regis: Well Ron, you didn't win anything.
Ron: Oh well, there's always tomorrow. ::starts singing:: Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya! Tomorrow!
Voldie: ::walks in the door:: I missed the end? WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME????
Hermy: Where'd you go?
Voldie: To the ice cream store thingy.
Hermy: You spent that long at an ice cream shop?
Voldie: Hey, they had 31 flavours!!
Hermy: Ok.........
Voldie: Yup. My stomach's gonna hurt tomorrow.
Troll: I think I just swallowed helium.
Regis: ::looking into the camera, smiling:: Well, hope you had fun. Join us next time on Who Wants To Be A Galleonaire. ::expression suddenly changes from smiling politely to extreme fear and insanity:: Please, kill me now!! There are all crazy!!
Harry: ::singing:: My baloney has a first name, it's H-A-R-R-Y. My baloney has a second name, it's H-A-R-R-Y.
Hermy: ::wearing a army helmet. I don't know where it came from:: We are on the ten-yard line men, can you count 'em? One, two, ten! I need my linebackers, HOO-AH
Draco: What are you talking about? Why does every other thing you say never make sense?
Hermy: ::yelling at Draco:: You say this is your safety?!
Draco: Waaaa?
Hermy: Well, this is my boot, soldier, and it will fit up your ass with the proper amount of force!
Draco: ::yelling back at Hermione:: I spanked you as a baby, and I'll spank you now BITCH
::wipes hands together:: And that's the end of the chapter. Review, ok? ::everyone nods mechanically:: Good. BWAHAHAHAHAHA--
Disclaimer. I OWN HARRY POTTER. I'm kidding people, don't sue!! Oh ya, and I stole a couple of quotes from movies and shtuff. Actually, the movies I used lines from are Kung Pow: Enter The Fist, Black Hawk Down, and The Simpsons (although that's not a movie). Anything else that I didn't mention should go here too, like the "Bohemian Rhapsody" song by Queen that Hermione sings. K I'm done now.
******Who Wants To Be A 500 Galleonaire: Chappy #4
Regis: Hi everyone and welcome to another episode of Who Wants To Be a 500 Galleonaire!!
Audience: * cheers*
Regis: Today's contestant is-Troll, what are you doing?
Troll: ::attempting to sit on a squirrel:: I need a pillow!
Regis: You know what? That's just too damn bad. You're not getting one.
Troll: Why?
Regis: Look what you did to Hermione's seat!
Hermy: ::sitting on the floor behind a pile of metal and wood (her former seat and table thing):: This is why we can't have nice things!!
Regis: ANYWAYS, tonight's contestant is...Ron!!
::That "I Believe In Miracles" song starts playing as Ron walks up to the front, and extremely bright disco lights start shining everyone, blinding the audience::
Audience: MY EYES!!! The light, it burns! IT BURNS
Regis: Ron, who said you were allowed to do that?
Ron: How do you know it was me? It's always my fault isn't it???!!!!!! ::turns and gives Bob a thumbs up::
Bob: (wearing a mask that looks strangely similar to the Phantom of the Opera's)::ducks out of site::
Ron: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Regis: .....I'm not even going to ask how you're feeling tonight. I'd rather not know what's going on in that head of yours.
Ron: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
Regis: Ok, lets start. The 100 galleon question is: in Lord of The Rings, what is Frodo's friend Sam's full first name? Is it: a) Sammy b)Samwise c)Samster or d) George?
Troll: (singing) Squirrels are cute ::clap clap:: Squirrels are nice ::clap clap:: Squirrels are fuzzy and they have nice EEEYYYYEEESSS
Sirius: Shut the hell up.
Hermy: He almost killed me.
Sirius: ME????
Hermy: No, Frodo.
Harry: Who?
Hermy: Frodo! Frodo Baggins!
Harry: ......
Hermy: The one who stole your credit card.
Harry: I HAD A CREDIT CARD????
Hermy: Yup. But the important thing is, he tried to kill me.
Snape: No it's not. Voldie here has tried to kill many people before.
Voldie: ::smiles and waves::
Snape: Why, he even tried to kill me. And all because I got him lost in Turkey and then stole his waffle maker.
Voldie: ::nods knowingly:: I have been called bad before. Many have said I do things that are not correct to do. I don't believe in talk such as this. I am nice man, with happy feelings. All of the time. First, a joke. What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee chord? My ass. Nyah, haha, haha, haha, ENOUGH!!
Hermy: ::ignoring Snape and Voldie:: Evil little guy, he is.
Draco: Frodo? But he's so teeny and loveable.
Hermy: That's what he wants you to think. He lures you in, then......BANG
Troll: ::screams and falls off his chair:: My God, 'Mione, don't do that!
Regis: Ok, Hermione, if you're going to talk about being killed and stuff, GO ON ANOTHER SHOW
Hermy: Fine! ::gets up and goes on the Montel show::
Everyone: ......
Ginny: I was raped by a house elf.
Harry: K, we don't care.
Remus: Harry!! Rape is a serious matter! You shouldn't talk about it like that, because-
Harry: Oooooo look! A pencil!
Regis: (frustrated) Hello?
Snape: Hey Regis dude! WAAASSSSSUUUUPPPP?????
Regis: (weird look) Ok Ron, answer the goddamn question. Is it , b, c, or d?
Ron: Hmmmm...let me see. Which button should I press?
Regis: Button?
Ron: Should I press the...*red* one?
Regis: (exasperated) There is no red button.
Ron: Or the...*blue* one? MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Regis: RON!
Ron: Ok, ok. The answer is b, Samwise.
Regis: Thank you!!
Audience: *cheers*
Hermy: ::storms back in::
Harry: That was fast.
Hermy: They told me to come back on I Was Almost Killed By A Hobbit day.
Harry: What's today?
Hermy: I Was Murdered By A Squirrel day.
Troll: ::looks down at the squirrel he's sitting on::
Squirrel: ::grins evilly::
Troll: ::sits down harder::
Squirrel: ::being crushed to his painful death:: Can't... breathe...
Remus: Did that squirrel just talk?
Sirius: No.
Remus: Ok.
Regis: Alright Ron, the 200 galleon question is: who sings the song "Cruel Summer"? Is it a) Christina Aguilera b) David Bowie c)Bananarama or d) Harry Potter?
Harry: Why am I always included in these questions?
Hermy: ::starts singing:: I see a little silhouetto of a man, scaramouche scaramouche will you do the fandango?
Regis: Please don't start.
Hermy: ::continuing the song:: Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me! GALILEO! Galileo! GALILEO! Galileo! GALILEO FIGAROOOOOOO-
Ron: C!!
Regis: Correct!
Audience: *cheers*
Regis: Ok, we're making good progress here.
::The disco lights start flashing again::
Audience: AAAAHHHHHH!!! ::half of them drop dead::
Harry: What the hell just happened?
Troll: ::starts picking up the dead people to get rid of them:: Raise your hand if you're not dead.
Audience: ::about 30 people raise their hands::
Troll: ::picks up a guy::
Dead Guy: I'm not dead!
Troll: Ya you are.
D.G: No, I'm not.
Troll: Did you raise your hand?
D.G: No.
Troll: Well then, case closed. ::grabs Dead Guy and drags him outside of the gameroom area thingy::
::The two are heard arguing backstage::
Troll: (Off screen) What are you doing???? PUT THAT MARKER BACK IN THE MICROWAVE!!
Regis: Ok, well, moving on. The 300 galleon question is: On the TV show Live Through This, who is the actor that plays Travis? Is it a)Matthew Lillard b)Matthew Carey c) Tom Cruise or d) Harry Potter?
Harry: You see? AGAIN!!
Regis: Harry, are we gonna have to discuss this whole screaming thing again?
Harry: No Regis.
Regis: Good.
Hermy: ::singing:: Get your skis shined up, grab a stick of Juicy Fruit. The taste is gonna move ya!! Take a sniff, pull it OOOUUUUTTTT-
Sirius: Oh, SHUT UP.
Remus: What are Troll and Dead Guy doing backstage?
Sirius: Trying to figure out if Dead Guy's dead.
Remus: I don't think they're accomplishing much.
Troll & Dead Guy: (off screen) ::singing in drunk voices:: SCOOBY-DOOBY- DOO!! WHERE ARE YOU? WE'VE GOT SOME WORK TO DO NOW!!
Regis: Everyone just ignore them.
::lights suddenly dim and point to the ceiling::
Regis: Ok, what's with everyone and playing with the lights today?
::A cloaked figure (a.k.a Bob) is seen hiding where the light is shining (on the ceiling). Phantom of the Opera music starts playing::
Bob: ::swings down on a rope, narrowly missing Snape's head and the camera on the way down::
Draco: ::smoking a pipe:: I say old chap, what in the devil are you doing?
Bob: I'm here to avenge the deaths of Bob Jr. and his sidekick!
Sirius: Who's his sidekick?
Bob: The pylon.
Sirius: Oh right.
Bob: And now, avenge I shall do!!
::Bob runs over to Ginny and pushes her "How To Kill The Mudblood" papers off her table::
Ginny: ::huge gasp:: BASTARD!!
Bob: Ha ha!
Troll & D.G: ::cancan into the room, singing:: Oooohhhh, cancan! Can you do the cancan-- ::stop when they see Bob::
D.G: Who's that?
Troll: (amazed) It can't be! ::gasp:: It is! It's Mary Poppins!
Bob: Huh?
Regis: No, Troll. It's Bob.
Troll: Meh, potato pottatto.
Harry: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! I need to say a line!! The author is neglecting me!! NEGLECTING ME, I SAY
Troll: ::ignoring Harry:: So *Bob*, how did you manage to get here without me seeing?
Bob: Well, while you were doing the cancan, I swung down from the ceiling on a rope.
Troll: Ah, yes...you've learned well, young Jedi.
Ron: Excuse me, but I believe I have a question to answer. Look, you guys took so long with this whole Bob situation that I got my nails done! See, aren't they pretty? ::holds up his nails for everyone to see::
Regis: ::gets blinded by the light reflecting off of Ron's nails:: You like blinding people, don't you?
Ron: I like shiny things.
Regis: Ok, anyways, on with-
Hermy: THE SHOW!!
Regis: Shut UP!! Ron, answer the bleepin question.
Ron: Right. The answer to the 300-galleon question is-
Draco: Hey you guys, check this out.
Regis: ::getting really pissed off:: Oh MY GOD
Draco: I'm thinking of trying out for American Idol.
Hermy: You're not American.
Draco: Just shut up and listen! ::starts singing an Nsync Medley:: It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you! But when we are apart I feel it too!! Dirty pop, doodeedoodoo can't stop!!
Harry: ::joining in the Nsync Medley:: Would you be my girlfriend! I'll treat ya good!
Regis: Oh, this truly is hell!!
Bob: ::sitting on the floor:: You know, Ron still hasn't answered the question.
Ron: I know. And now, since I have to say this quickly before someone cuts me off again, I will guess and say...C!!
Regis: I'm sorry, that's wrong. The correct answer is b, Matthew Carey.
Remus: I can't even remember what the question was.
Harry: YES!!!! I am still the victor!!! ::does the happy dance, followed by his victory dance, while "We Are The Champions" plays in the background::
Hermy: Victor.........Viktor Krum!!
Draco: What's your point?
Hermy: I dunno.
Regis: Well Ron, you didn't win anything.
Ron: Oh well, there's always tomorrow. ::starts singing:: Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya! Tomorrow!
Voldie: ::walks in the door:: I missed the end? WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME????
Hermy: Where'd you go?
Voldie: To the ice cream store thingy.
Hermy: You spent that long at an ice cream shop?
Voldie: Hey, they had 31 flavours!!
Hermy: Ok.........
Voldie: Yup. My stomach's gonna hurt tomorrow.
Troll: I think I just swallowed helium.
Regis: ::looking into the camera, smiling:: Well, hope you had fun. Join us next time on Who Wants To Be A Galleonaire. ::expression suddenly changes from smiling politely to extreme fear and insanity:: Please, kill me now!! There are all crazy!!
Harry: ::singing:: My baloney has a first name, it's H-A-R-R-Y. My baloney has a second name, it's H-A-R-R-Y.
Hermy: ::wearing a army helmet. I don't know where it came from:: We are on the ten-yard line men, can you count 'em? One, two, ten! I need my linebackers, HOO-AH
Draco: What are you talking about? Why does every other thing you say never make sense?
Hermy: ::yelling at Draco:: You say this is your safety?!
Draco: Waaaa?
Hermy: Well, this is my boot, soldier, and it will fit up your ass with the proper amount of force!
Draco: ::yelling back at Hermione:: I spanked you as a baby, and I'll spank you now BITCH
::wipes hands together:: And that's the end of the chapter. Review, ok? ::everyone nods mechanically:: Good. BWAHAHAHAHAHA--