Title: Residual Scarring
Author: natlski
Rating: G
Archive: sure, just let me know where
Spoilers: Pretty much everything through the end of the second season.
Feedback: please, let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: I'm not getting any money from this. I don't own them; Aaron
Sorkin and all those other rich people do, but am excited they accepted my
invitation to come over to play.
Summary: Josh continues to deal with the aftermath of the shooting.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
The West Wing- Office of the Deputy Chief of Staff
Josh Lyman sat at his cluttered desk; his left hand propping up his head while his right fiddled idly with a pen. His weary eyes wandered over the page of text before him.
"Joshua!"
Josh sighed but didn't respond to his assistant's call. Donna Moss appeared in the doorway of his office. She paused to take in her boss's disheveled appearance.
"Josh" her tone softened, "when was the last time you slept?"
"1983. I think"
"Josh, you look terrible. You need to get some sleep."
"I have a meeting with Sam and Toby."
"At 1:00."
"Which is."
"In two minutes." Donna finished for him.
Josh sighed and dropping his pen, gathered files together. He started around his desk, but paused as a now too familiar tightness started in his chest. He coughed involuntarily.
"Josh?" Donna regarded her boss. Something was wrong.
"I'm going to be late." Josh ignored her concern.
"Josh."
"I'm fine." Josh forced himself to walk quickly out of the office, heading through the communications bullpen toward his meeting.
Donna followed him with her eyes, taking in the forced stride and the tense shoulders of her boss. Something was wrong. She absently answered the ringing phone on Josh's desk. "Josh Lyman's office." She turned her full attention to the call when Josh disappeared from view.
As soon as Josh was out of his assistant's sight he slowed his pace. Coming to a stop in the corridor he leaned against the wall to catch his breath. This was not good. The tightness in his chest had only been made worse by his charade and it hurt to breath. His head throbbed in time with his pounding heart and his vision threatened to blur. He closed his eyes and tried unsuccessfully to draw a deep breath. His effort was rewarded with painful coughs.
Giving up he opened his eyes, straightened, and strode slowly down the hall to the room where Toby and Sam were waiting for him.
"You're late." Toby growled without looking up when Josh entered.
"Sorry." Josh gasped.
His collogues' heads snapped up at his breathless response.
Sam took in his best friend's disheveled appearance, the sheen of sweat covering the pale face, the heaving chest. "Are you okay?"
"I'm..." Coughing cut off Josh's response. He couldn't breathe. He gasped for breath, but couldn't stop coughing. The tightness in his chest increased along with the pain. His vision clouded.
Sam moved swiftly to his friend's side as Josh doubled over. Toby joined them and together the two men maneuvered Josh into a chair. He remained doubled over, one hand on his chest, the other propped on a knee, supporting his head. Sam's blue eyes, reflecting his deep concern, never left Josh. He heard Toby step out in the hall and call to an aide. A few soft words were spoken and Toby stepped back into the room, closing the door behind him.
Toby knelt in front of the Deputy Chief of Staff with a glass of water. "Here. Try to drink some of this." Toby held the glass for Josh, as the younger man tried to straighten in the chair. He took a small sip and attempted to draw a shaking breath.
"I can't . breathe." Josh wheezed. His chest hurt. The room was spinning dizzily around him and he felt light headed. His hands and feet were starting to tingle. He couldn't breathe.
"Try to relax. Catch your breath." Sam knew his advice sounded ridiculous, it was clear that Josh couldn't catch his breath. That was the problem! He felt helpless to do anything. He reached for Josh's hand and was shocked at how cold it was.
The door to the room opened and both Sam and Toby briefly felt relief as First Lady Dr. Abby Bartlet entered the room. She went directly to the young man sitting slumped in the chair, struggling for each breath.
"Sam, help me get him up right." Together they pushed Josh against the back of the chair so that he was almost sitting straight in the chair and Sam held him there. Josh's labored breathing was audible. His eyes were glazed over and filled with pain. Abby placed a gentle hand against Josh's forehead. "I know you're scared, try to relax. We're going to get you some help."
The door opened again and Donna rushed in followed by two paramedics. "Oh my God, Josh!"
Abby turned to the paramedics, "Get him on oxygen, now! He's in respiratory distress."
Sam and Toby were forced to move away from their friend as the paramedics took over, taking vital signs, placing an oxygen mask over Josh's mouth and nose, and moving him onto the stretcher.
GW Hospital
Sam Seaborn opened the hospital room door and slipped in quietly. His breath caught in his throat as the scene before him was painfully reminiscent of the past. Josh lay still in the large bed, face pale against the starched sheets. An oxygen mask was over his mouth and nose; wires ran from his body to machines that beeped with the steady rhythm of his heart. Donna sat close to the bed, head bowed, and hands on Josh's arm.
Sam steadied himself and moved across the room to Donna's side. He briefly placed a hand on her shoulder, than turned his attention to his best friend. "How is he?" Sam's voice was soft.
Donna sighed. "Bronchitis moving into pneumonia, exhaustion, and possibly asthma."
"Wow."
"They have him on oxygen and intravenous antibiotics. He's receiving nebulizer treatments every few hours."
"Wow." Sam said again.
"Yeah."
"You should go get some rest. I'll stay with him for a while." Sam pulled Donna to her feet.
Donna regarded Sam for a moment. She knew that he was as dedicated to Josh as she was and would stay by his side all night. "Promise me you'll eat and sleep."
Sam gave the blond assistant a small smile. "You know me too well. Yeah. I promise."
Donna hugged Sam. "You're a good friend, Sam. He's going to be okay."
"Yeah. Go; get some rest. I'll see you later." Sam broke the embrace and gently pushed Donna toward the door. He lowered his tired body into the chair Donna had vacated. He regarded the sleeping figure briefly before pulling a manila folder from his briefcase on the floor beside him.
2 a.m.
The soft steady beep of the monitor sped up. Josh moaned and moved restlessly in the hospital bed. Sam Seaborn awoke and listened to the noises of the room. As Sam's eyes adjusted to the dim lighting of the room he could clearly see his friend was in the middle of a dream. Josh became more restless, his breath coming in short gasps.
"Josh." Sam spoke quietly and gently shook the man's shoulder. "Wake up. You're having a nightmare."
Josh became increasingly agitated. His increased heart rate announced by the beeping monitor, his labored breathing painfully audible.
"Wake up Josh! It's Sam. You're having a nightmare. You're okay." Sam tried to keep his voice even.
Josh's eyes snapped open but were unfocused. He gasped for breath.
"Josh." Sam spoke his name again, placing a gentle hand on the shaking shoulder. The brown eyes focused on Sam, but the panicked look didn't leave them. Sam realized his best friend was once again in the grips of an asthma attack. He reached over and pressed the call button to summon help. "Help will be here. Try to relax, Josh. Concentrate on your breathing."
A young nurse slipped quietly into the room. Sam looked up. "He's having another attack. We need a doctor."
The nurse slipped out again, returning momentarily with the doctor on call. "Okay, Mr. Lyman, just relax. I'm going to give you some medicine that will help you breathe." The doctor placed a mask over Josh's mouth and nose. Josh breathed in the vaporized medicine.
After several minutes the wheezes subsided to barely audible. The doctor checked that the medicine was gone before switching off the nebulizer. The nurse busied herself with removing the nebulizer canister and readjusting the oxygen mask. The doctor checked the I.V. bag and ordered another one, making notations in Josh's chart before turning to Josh. "You'll be due for another treatment in about 3 hours."
"When can I go home?" Josh asked quietly.
"Your doctor will discuss that with you later today. For now, rest." With that the doctor and nurse exited the room, leaving Sam alone with Josh.
Josh laid still, his eyes closed. Sam thought he'd dropped off to sleep until Josh heaved a sigh. "This sucks."
Sam allowed himself a small grin. "Yeah" he agreed. "Josh?"
"Hmm?"
"Where were you?"
"What?" Josh opened his eyes and nervously regarded the Deputy Communications Director.
"Your nightmare. Where were you?"
Josh sunk back against the pillow. He closed his eyes and tentatively drew a deep breath. He gave a small cough as his chest still felt a little tight. The medicine made him feel jittery and awake even though he knew he was exhausted. He thought about Sam's question and the vivid images from his dream. He knew that Sam wasn't going to let this go. He experimented with another deep breath, this one coming easier, the lingering tightness starting to fade away.
"The fire." He said softly. Josh looked at Sam with shameful eyes. "I couldn't breath. I was 7 again and in the fire. I was scared and I was running away."
Josh Lyman's Apartment- Georgetown
Donna put the carton of milk in the refrigerator and folded the paper grocery sack before putting it in the recycling bin. "Are you sure you're not hungry?" She called.
"Positive." Josh responded from where he was stretched out on the couch. "You don't have to be here, you know."
Donna came into the living room and sat on the edge of the couch next to Josh. He scooted against the back to give her more room. She could hear the faint wheezing in every breath he took. He looked pale and drawn.
"I know. You've been home from the hospital what. two hours? And you've already worn yourself out. Face it Josh; you feel lousy and you're notorious for pushing yourself too hard."
"I'm fine." Josh's attempt to convince her was thwarted by an extremely painful fit of coughing. By the time it subsided Josh was curled on his side, clutching his chest, gasping for breath. The wheezing increased.
"Yeah. I'm convinced." Donna reached for the inhaler that lay near by on the coffee table. "Come on, sit up."
Josh wearily pushed himself up against the pillows so he was half sitting. Donna shook the inhaler, removed the cap, and handed it to him.
He took it from her and after inhaling the prescribed dose, handed the inhaler back to Donna. Josh sagged back against the pillows and closed his eyes.
"The country won't fall down around your ears if you take a few days off."
Josh opened one eye to smirk at his assistant. "Are you sure?"
"Besides," she ignored him, "you are under strict doctor's orders to rest." Donna pulled a blanket up over Josh, her hand lingering on his chest. She felt the rise and fall of his chest, accompanied by the audible wheezing. She frowned at him. "Josh."
Josh reached up and took her hand. "I'll be okay."
Donna gave him a worried smile. "Take a nap. I've brought some things from the office to work on. I'll be here." Josh responded with a yawn and a nod. Donna patted his chest then stood. She settled into the chair next to the couch. The files she intended to work on lay in her lap ignored as she intently watched her best friend/boss settle into sleep. Donna watched him for some time before daring to turn her attention to her work.
The West Wing- Office of the Deputy Chief of Staff
Josh Lyman sat at his cluttered desk; his left hand propping up his head while his right fiddled idly with a pen. His weary eyes wandered over the page of text before him.
"Joshua!"
Josh sighed but didn't respond to his assistant's call. Donna Moss appeared in the doorway of his office. She paused to take in her boss's disheveled appearance.
"Josh" her tone softened, "when was the last time you slept?"
"1983. I think"
"Josh, you look terrible. You need to get some sleep."
"I have a meeting with Sam and Toby."
"At 1:00."
"Which is."
"In two minutes." Donna finished for him.
Josh sighed and dropping his pen, gathered files together. He started around his desk, but paused as a now too familiar tightness started in his chest. He coughed involuntarily.
"Josh?" Donna regarded her boss. Something was wrong.
"I'm going to be late." Josh ignored her concern.
"Josh."
"I'm fine." Josh forced himself to walk quickly out of the office, heading through the communications bullpen toward his meeting.
Donna followed him with her eyes, taking in the forced stride and the tense shoulders of her boss. Something was wrong. She absently answered the ringing phone on Josh's desk. "Josh Lyman's office." She turned her full attention to the call when Josh disappeared from view.
As soon as Josh was out of his assistant's sight he slowed his pace. Coming to a stop in the corridor he leaned against the wall to catch his breath. This was not good. The tightness in his chest had only been made worse by his charade and it hurt to breath. His head throbbed in time with his pounding heart and his vision threatened to blur. He closed his eyes and tried unsuccessfully to draw a deep breath. His effort was rewarded with painful coughs.
Giving up he opened his eyes, straightened, and strode slowly down the hall to the room where Toby and Sam were waiting for him.
"You're late." Toby growled without looking up when Josh entered.
"Sorry." Josh gasped.
His collogues' heads snapped up at his breathless response.
Sam took in his best friend's disheveled appearance, the sheen of sweat covering the pale face, the heaving chest. "Are you okay?"
"I'm..." Coughing cut off Josh's response. He couldn't breathe. He gasped for breath, but couldn't stop coughing. The tightness in his chest increased along with the pain. His vision clouded.
Sam moved swiftly to his friend's side as Josh doubled over. Toby joined them and together the two men maneuvered Josh into a chair. He remained doubled over, one hand on his chest, the other propped on a knee, supporting his head. Sam's blue eyes, reflecting his deep concern, never left Josh. He heard Toby step out in the hall and call to an aide. A few soft words were spoken and Toby stepped back into the room, closing the door behind him.
Toby knelt in front of the Deputy Chief of Staff with a glass of water. "Here. Try to drink some of this." Toby held the glass for Josh, as the younger man tried to straighten in the chair. He took a small sip and attempted to draw a shaking breath.
"I can't . breathe." Josh wheezed. His chest hurt. The room was spinning dizzily around him and he felt light headed. His hands and feet were starting to tingle. He couldn't breathe.
"Try to relax. Catch your breath." Sam knew his advice sounded ridiculous, it was clear that Josh couldn't catch his breath. That was the problem! He felt helpless to do anything. He reached for Josh's hand and was shocked at how cold it was.
The door to the room opened and both Sam and Toby briefly felt relief as First Lady Dr. Abby Bartlet entered the room. She went directly to the young man sitting slumped in the chair, struggling for each breath.
"Sam, help me get him up right." Together they pushed Josh against the back of the chair so that he was almost sitting straight in the chair and Sam held him there. Josh's labored breathing was audible. His eyes were glazed over and filled with pain. Abby placed a gentle hand against Josh's forehead. "I know you're scared, try to relax. We're going to get you some help."
The door opened again and Donna rushed in followed by two paramedics. "Oh my God, Josh!"
Abby turned to the paramedics, "Get him on oxygen, now! He's in respiratory distress."
Sam and Toby were forced to move away from their friend as the paramedics took over, taking vital signs, placing an oxygen mask over Josh's mouth and nose, and moving him onto the stretcher.
GW Hospital
Sam Seaborn opened the hospital room door and slipped in quietly. His breath caught in his throat as the scene before him was painfully reminiscent of the past. Josh lay still in the large bed, face pale against the starched sheets. An oxygen mask was over his mouth and nose; wires ran from his body to machines that beeped with the steady rhythm of his heart. Donna sat close to the bed, head bowed, and hands on Josh's arm.
Sam steadied himself and moved across the room to Donna's side. He briefly placed a hand on her shoulder, than turned his attention to his best friend. "How is he?" Sam's voice was soft.
Donna sighed. "Bronchitis moving into pneumonia, exhaustion, and possibly asthma."
"Wow."
"They have him on oxygen and intravenous antibiotics. He's receiving nebulizer treatments every few hours."
"Wow." Sam said again.
"Yeah."
"You should go get some rest. I'll stay with him for a while." Sam pulled Donna to her feet.
Donna regarded Sam for a moment. She knew that he was as dedicated to Josh as she was and would stay by his side all night. "Promise me you'll eat and sleep."
Sam gave the blond assistant a small smile. "You know me too well. Yeah. I promise."
Donna hugged Sam. "You're a good friend, Sam. He's going to be okay."
"Yeah. Go; get some rest. I'll see you later." Sam broke the embrace and gently pushed Donna toward the door. He lowered his tired body into the chair Donna had vacated. He regarded the sleeping figure briefly before pulling a manila folder from his briefcase on the floor beside him.
2 a.m.
The soft steady beep of the monitor sped up. Josh moaned and moved restlessly in the hospital bed. Sam Seaborn awoke and listened to the noises of the room. As Sam's eyes adjusted to the dim lighting of the room he could clearly see his friend was in the middle of a dream. Josh became more restless, his breath coming in short gasps.
"Josh." Sam spoke quietly and gently shook the man's shoulder. "Wake up. You're having a nightmare."
Josh became increasingly agitated. His increased heart rate announced by the beeping monitor, his labored breathing painfully audible.
"Wake up Josh! It's Sam. You're having a nightmare. You're okay." Sam tried to keep his voice even.
Josh's eyes snapped open but were unfocused. He gasped for breath.
"Josh." Sam spoke his name again, placing a gentle hand on the shaking shoulder. The brown eyes focused on Sam, but the panicked look didn't leave them. Sam realized his best friend was once again in the grips of an asthma attack. He reached over and pressed the call button to summon help. "Help will be here. Try to relax, Josh. Concentrate on your breathing."
A young nurse slipped quietly into the room. Sam looked up. "He's having another attack. We need a doctor."
The nurse slipped out again, returning momentarily with the doctor on call. "Okay, Mr. Lyman, just relax. I'm going to give you some medicine that will help you breathe." The doctor placed a mask over Josh's mouth and nose. Josh breathed in the vaporized medicine.
After several minutes the wheezes subsided to barely audible. The doctor checked that the medicine was gone before switching off the nebulizer. The nurse busied herself with removing the nebulizer canister and readjusting the oxygen mask. The doctor checked the I.V. bag and ordered another one, making notations in Josh's chart before turning to Josh. "You'll be due for another treatment in about 3 hours."
"When can I go home?" Josh asked quietly.
"Your doctor will discuss that with you later today. For now, rest." With that the doctor and nurse exited the room, leaving Sam alone with Josh.
Josh laid still, his eyes closed. Sam thought he'd dropped off to sleep until Josh heaved a sigh. "This sucks."
Sam allowed himself a small grin. "Yeah" he agreed. "Josh?"
"Hmm?"
"Where were you?"
"What?" Josh opened his eyes and nervously regarded the Deputy Communications Director.
"Your nightmare. Where were you?"
Josh sunk back against the pillow. He closed his eyes and tentatively drew a deep breath. He gave a small cough as his chest still felt a little tight. The medicine made him feel jittery and awake even though he knew he was exhausted. He thought about Sam's question and the vivid images from his dream. He knew that Sam wasn't going to let this go. He experimented with another deep breath, this one coming easier, the lingering tightness starting to fade away.
"The fire." He said softly. Josh looked at Sam with shameful eyes. "I couldn't breath. I was 7 again and in the fire. I was scared and I was running away."
Josh Lyman's Apartment- Georgetown
Donna put the carton of milk in the refrigerator and folded the paper grocery sack before putting it in the recycling bin. "Are you sure you're not hungry?" She called.
"Positive." Josh responded from where he was stretched out on the couch. "You don't have to be here, you know."
Donna came into the living room and sat on the edge of the couch next to Josh. He scooted against the back to give her more room. She could hear the faint wheezing in every breath he took. He looked pale and drawn.
"I know. You've been home from the hospital what. two hours? And you've already worn yourself out. Face it Josh; you feel lousy and you're notorious for pushing yourself too hard."
"I'm fine." Josh's attempt to convince her was thwarted by an extremely painful fit of coughing. By the time it subsided Josh was curled on his side, clutching his chest, gasping for breath. The wheezing increased.
"Yeah. I'm convinced." Donna reached for the inhaler that lay near by on the coffee table. "Come on, sit up."
Josh wearily pushed himself up against the pillows so he was half sitting. Donna shook the inhaler, removed the cap, and handed it to him.
He took it from her and after inhaling the prescribed dose, handed the inhaler back to Donna. Josh sagged back against the pillows and closed his eyes.
"The country won't fall down around your ears if you take a few days off."
Josh opened one eye to smirk at his assistant. "Are you sure?"
"Besides," she ignored him, "you are under strict doctor's orders to rest." Donna pulled a blanket up over Josh, her hand lingering on his chest. She felt the rise and fall of his chest, accompanied by the audible wheezing. She frowned at him. "Josh."
Josh reached up and took her hand. "I'll be okay."
Donna gave him a worried smile. "Take a nap. I've brought some things from the office to work on. I'll be here." Josh responded with a yawn and a nod. Donna patted his chest then stood. She settled into the chair next to the couch. The files she intended to work on lay in her lap ignored as she intently watched her best friend/boss settle into sleep. Donna watched him for some time before daring to turn her attention to her work.